• Published 12th Nov 2013
  • 2,070 Views, 196 Comments

Lightning's Bolt - PaulAsaran



When Lightning's childhood orphanage was wiped out, she managed to save just one filly: the timid Keen Arrow. Lightning has taken her in, but can she handle being a parent? Does she even understand the responsibilities she must face?

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Opportunity

When Lightning had been bucked out of the academy, she’d taken to flying all around Equestria looking for some kind of self-fulfillment. Her journey had taken her a long ways and to many places, but she’d always avoided big cities. New Horseleans, Manehattan, Las Pegasus, Seaddle, she’d circled around every skyscraper skyline that had come to her vision. She never really understood why, but the sight of them made her anxious. Maybe she had feared being recognized. Maybe she had thought there would be nothing there for her. Maybe she didn’t like crowds.

Maybe, deep down, she was just a country pony at heart.

Whatever the reasons, going through Canterlot’s streets had left her feeling strangely uncomfortable. She’d have preferred to have flown straight to the castle courtyard, but for the sake of appearances – and at Fine’s recommendation – she traveled with the others.

Whatever was happening had to be a big deal. Luna had sent word to Fine Crime that her team was about to be put into service; she’d only requested his presence, but they were all there just in case it was a situation that required immediate attention. Still, it wasn’t the fact that she was calling them together for the first time that had Lightning bristling with excitement. No, it was the fact that Celestia had called on Twilight as well; whatever was going down, it required everyone.

The only real catch was that the Element Bearers had no idea that Luna’s team was, in fact, a team, or that Luna’s ponies were to act as support for them. Twilight was the exception, having been told by Fine a week or so ago. Now the news was out, and it left everypony feeling rather awkward.

So when they at last reached the castle courtyard and Fine and Twilight had gone inside to get their orders, the two groups of ponies found themselves having a rather odd conversation.

Rainbow Dash got them started, setting her sights directly on her colt-friend.

“So let’s see if I have this right.” She waved a hoof at Luna’s ponies. “You and these guys are all supposed to help us in whatever Princess Celestia wants us to do?”

Nye seemed a little less pleased than one would expect about having her in his face like that. “Something like that. I know it sounds… off, but it’s true.”

Applejack’s eye was roaming Luna’s team with a peering gaze. “No offense ta any o’ y’all, but Ah’m not sure about that idea.”

Jimmy shrugged his big shoulders nonchalantly. “Hey, we find it unlikely too.”

Lightning didn’t know why, but that statement made her bristle.

Octavia was the only one of Luna’s ponies who showed confidence in the situation at hoof. “We are here at Princess Luna’s request. She would not ask for us to assist you if it were not necessary.”

Rarity – whose presence made Lightning just a little nervous – offered them all a warm smile. “Well I think this is a good thing.”

“Yeah!” Pinkie leapt between the two groups of ponies, a squadron of balloons launching from her hooves and making Lightning jump. “More friends means more fun!”

Pretty much everypony present rolled their eyes at Pinkie’s giggling. Applejack pulled the pony aside so that Rarity could finish making her point.

“Ahem, yes, of course.” Rarity flicked her mane with an amused smile aimed at the party pony. “What I meant was… there’s surely strength in numbers, and is it not better to have the extra help?”

“I agree.” Upper Crust shuffled her hooves and glanced at the castle doors. “Still, what’s so big that they have to call all of us here?”

“Oh, maybe they wanna throw a big party!” Pinkie bounced back in the center before Applejack could catch her. “And I bet they want us to set it up! Oh oh oh, I’ll make the cake!”

Applejack let out a good-natured sigh and pulled her back once more. “I don’t think we’re here for a party, sugarcube.”

“Yeah.” Lightning rubbed her hooves together with a grin. “I’m hoping for some kind of adventure!” It would be a nice change of pace.

Fluttershy winced and half-hid her face behind her mane. “I hope it’s not too dangerous…”

Jimmy bumped Lightning with an elbow, an amused smile on his lips. “Aren’t you supposed to be looking after Keen?”

Lightning winced; her mind had been running circles around that particular issue all day. But for now… “Nah, I got Airheart looking after her today.” She got her revenge with a poke in the ribs that made him jump. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

He cringed as if physically hurt. “Don’t remind me. I’m going to be a whole day behind because of this, and probably longer.”

Just then, the great doors to the castle opened wide. Twilight and Fine walked out, side by side and sharing expressions of mutual determination.

Rainbow and Lightning launched as one to hover over their respective ‘leaders.’

“So?” Rainbow waved her hooves. “What did the princess want?”

“Yeah, what’s the mission?” Lightning struggled not to imitate Rainbow’s motions – sometimes the similarities between them were downright disturbing.

Twilight and Fine shared a focused glance before gesturing for their respective teams to form a group.

Fine was the first to speak. “I’m afraid we have a very long-distance job ahead of us.”

Nye snickered and waved dismissively. “Oh come off it, I’ve traveled all across Equestria. Can’t be that bad.”

Fine raised an eyebrow with a bemused frown. “Ever been to Nildia?”

Nye promptly choked on his own words. “Nildia? That’s on the other side of the world!”

Lightning’s jaw dropped at the destination. Traveling around Equestria was one thing, but an international job? She eyed the others and saw that they too had lost a lot of their confidence.

All but one.

“I’ve been there,” Octavia said. She took a step back as all eyes rapidly turned on her.

“You?” Rainbow moved in to hover over her shoulder. “Why would you go all the way to Nildia?”

“My mother’s from there.” To her credit, she withstood the mass of gawking faces really well in Lightning’s opinion. Octavia turned her steady eyes back to Fine and Twilight. “But why go there?”

It was at this point that Lightning’s attention shifted, not because she wasn’t interested but because a serious concern had come to mind: what about Keen? She didn’t want to saddle Airheart with her for however long it would take to see this job through. When she’d heard they were all being called in, Lightning had anticipated being gone for two or three days. This could take weeks!

Lightning found herself in a trying position. Luna would undoubtedly expect her to go as ordered, but she couldn’t bring Keen on some international adventure… could she?

Twilight clapped her hooves, re-attaining Lightning's attention. “The point is, these disasters are happening too often and too regularly to just be an unusual oceanic phenomenon.”

Everypony shared questioning looks, leading Octavia to emit a long sigh. “The disasters can’t be normal weather.”

Disasters? Suddenly Lightning regretting phasing out. Hoping to hide her ignorance, she asked, “Then what is it?”

Twilight raised her head high. “That’s what we’re supposed to find out.” A second passed, after which she tilted her head with a lopsided smile. “I… have no idea how we’re going to do that.”

Great, talk about a boost of confidence.

Another thought hit Lightning’s mind as the discussion went on; what if this proved dangerous? Like, really dangerous? Lightning wasn’t afraid of a little trouble – she’d proven that countless times, usually to regret it later. But what if she went on this little adventure and didn’t come back?

She shook her head with a sneer; if that was such a big concern, why did she even agree to be on the team? The risks were there, she would just have to deal with it. She was not going to back out now. If she was ever going to have a chance at becoming a hero—

Discord?”

Lightning winced at the combined shouts of her fellows.

“Yes, Discord.” Twilight rubbed her ears with a glower. “He’s already in Nildia looking into the problem. The team will meet him there.”

“The team?” Jimmy asked, “You mean we aren’t all going?”

Lightning’s ears perked.

“No,” Fine answered. “Half of us will go to Nildia. The rest will stay in Ponyville, as a precaution in case anything else comes up.”

That changed things. Maybe Lightning wouldn’t be going. Or, if she did, at least she had a good chance of Fluttershy and Octavia staying behind to watch after Keen. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

“So right now we need to decide who’s going.”

Lightning cringed and forced herself to pay attention.

“Well, it’s a given that Twilight an’ Fine are going,” Applejack said.

Lightning thought she heard a small gasp from Fine’s throat. He reared back and waved his hooves in fervent denial. “Me? No way! Not a chance in hell you’re getting me over the open ocean.”

They all shared curious glances, but Twilight was quick to speak up. “I’ve already volunteered to lead the Nildia team. Fine will stay behind to lead the others. I need two Element Bearers and three others.”

Rainbow stuck out her chest with a smarmy grin. “I’ll go. You’ll need an ace flier.”

Lightning shot the pony a scowl; what made Rainbow think she deserved to take that role over her? Lightning’s blood boiled and it was all she could do to hold her tongue.

Applejack stepped forward with a confident smile. “Ain't no apples ta buck this time of year, so Ah can spare the time. Ah volunteer.”

Aha, that meant Fluttershy would stay in Ponyville! Lightning saw her window and took it: “If Rainbow’s going, so am I.” She shot a threatening glance Rainbow’s way and silently dared her to object.

She didn’t get the chance.

“No, LD,” Fine Crime said. “I want you here.”

What?” Lightning launched to glare down at him. She caught Rainbow’s solemn glance out of the corner of her eye and had to fight down a snarl. “But they might need me over there! You can’t accept—”

Fine hit her with a piercing, heavy-lidded gaze that – to her shame and frustration – actually managed to stop her words in their tracks.

“There’s no need for two ace fliers, and I’d like one of you to remain in Ponyville. Rainbow called it, Lightning.”

Lightning raised a hoof towards him, her lips working for some kind of argument. “But I… I mean…” Damn him, did he have to have an answer for everything? She wanted to lash out so badly… but she couldn’t do it.

She found herself thinking of her recent breakdown in front of Airheart. Why was that pony’s concerned face suddenly stuck in her head?

…because she’d been about to rush into things again.

She let out a self-directed growl and dropped to the grass on her haunches. She turned away from them, crossed her hooves and slouched. She knew she was sulking. She knew it looked foalish.

At the moment, she didn’t care.


Lightning had her hoof to her cheek as she stared out the train window. Trees and the occasional house flitted by in the night, but the scenery did nothing to assuage the venom in her heart.

Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Jimmy, Octavia and Upper Crust. That was the Nildia team. She couldn’t stand the fact that she wasn’t on that list.

Worse were the ponies not going. Rarity, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie? Easily the three most useless of the Element Bearers; Lightning's respect for Fluttershy didn't change the fact. Fine was capable – that Lightning had a scar instead of a tombstone was enough to make that clear – but then there was Nye.

For the most part, Lightning felt as if all the worthless ponies were being left behind… and that included her. It was infuriating to think that Rainbow was getting to go on some awesome adventure and she was stuck here with the equivalent of foal-sitting the wimps. She knew she was letting her competitive side get the better of her, but damn it, why was she even on this team if she wasn’t going to be useful?

“What’s the matter, Dustie?”

Lightning blinked. Her eyes refocused on the reflection in the window to reveal Pinkie Pie standing in the aisle behind her.

Lightning pouted and didn’t turn to the pony. “Nothin’. Just thinking.”

“About what?”

She grimaced; clearly Pinkie wasn’t one to take a hint. Lightning didn’t know much about her, in truth. She’d seen her around town and on the occasional trip with Keen to Sugarcube Corner, but actually knowing anything about Pinkie? Lightning was clueless.

“Oh, come on.” Pinkie bounced in close and wrapped a hoof about Lightning’s shoulder. “Turn that frown upside down!”

Lightning was in no mood for this; she opened her wing with a jerk that knocked Pinkie onto her back. “Leave me alone, Pinkie.”

To her intense frustration, Pinkie only giggled and literally bounced back to her hooves. “Well, look at you, Miss Grumpy McGrumpypants. You’re not all upset because you’re not going to Nildia, are you?”

Lightning let out a snarl and glared at the pony’s reflection.

Pinkie hopped into the seat next to Lightning with another of those insufferable giggles. “Look on the bright side: you get to stay in Ponyville with all your friends. We might even have a party! You can come and bring Keen and we’ll play games and eat lots of cake and do the Gummy shake!”

Lightning finally turned to peer with one eye at the pony, who was somehow managing to wiggle her entire body in what Lightning could only assume was the so-called ‘Gummy shake’ despite still being firmly planted in her seat.

Why won’t you leave me alone to brood?”

Pinkie pressed a hoof to Lightning’s chest and raised her head high. “Because you’re all frowny downy, and I refuse to let that stand. It is Pinkie’s personal mission to ensure there are no sad faces on the Party Train!”

Lightning glanced around with a bemused frown, mildly wondering what qualified this as the ‘party train.’ “You’ve got your work cut out for you, then.”

“Don’t you worry, Dustie.” Pinkie patted Lightning on the head with a grin. “If I can get a Cranky Doodle Donkey to smile, I can get anypony to smile!”

Lightning knocked the hoof away with a snarl. “I make this Cranky whoever look like a foal in comparison. I don’t wanna smile, I wanna go to Nildia.”

Pinkie’s head tilted a little too far to the side to be natural. “So what’s stopping you?”

Lightning blinked. “What?”

“What’s stopping you?” Pinkie waved her hoof at the window as if it were some faraway destination. “If you want to go, just go. More ponies means more fun.”

Go? Just like that? Lightning wasn’t so sure about that idea, but when she thought about it…

She eyed Pinkie with a raised eyebrow. “If that’s what you think, why don’t you go?”

“Well, duh.” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Going to Nildia sounds super fantastic fun, but if I go to Nildia then there will be no party ponies in Ponyville and that means there will be no parties to be put on by a super party pony which means less smiles for everypony and happiness all over Ponyville will drop to an all-time low which means things like cupcakes and streamers and firecrackers and baked goodies and horseshoes won’t be made so ponies will have to go without horseshoes which will make travel around Equestria really hard so then some super-important message for Princess Celestia will show up late and she won’t have time to fix some super-crazy terrible problem and then all of Equestria will be in an uproar and she and Princess Luna will have to go into hiding in shame and Equestria will fall into chaos or a new dark age or worse and it will be all my fault!”

Lightning was on her back, eyes wide as she stared up at a huffing and puffing Pinkie who stood on top of her and had her muzzle right in her face.

“Umm… okay then, I guess you better stay.”

“Right-O, Dustie!” Pinkie was back in the aisle, offering a salute with a large grin. “For the future of Equestria!”

She bounced off, singing an unfamiliar ditty.

Lightning sat up very slowly, glanced about the train. Nopony seemed to be paying her any attention. Shoulders sagging, she set a hoof to her chest emitted a long sigh.

“Oh, by the way.”

Lightning cried out and pressed her back against the seat at the sight of Pinkie hanging upside down from the luggage compartment over her head.

Pinkie pointed a hoof towards the back of the train. “You might wanna go tell Twilight and the others that you’re coming. They’re forming plans for the Nildia trip right now.”

“Um… okay?”

Pinkie, her fringe somehow managing to dangle over her eyes despite her inverted position, tilted her head and studied Lightning with surprisingly intense focus. Lightning only stared back, wondering why nopony was giving Pinkie strange looks.

Pinkie's hoof reached forward to flick Lightning’s lips, though her expression never lost its seriousness.

“You will be happy before the Nildia thing is over. Pinkie Pie guarantees it.”

Lightning rubbed her lips with crossed eyes, then raised an eyebrow at her odd companion. “And what makes you think—”

A pink hoof was pressed against her lips. Pinkie’s upper body turned about in a way that made Lightning wonder if she had any bones. The party pony’s head slowly rotated back and forth, her eyes piercing and a strange ping, ping, ping sound coming from… somewhere. Her head locked on a particular direction and the noise went from ping, ping, ping to pingpingpingping.

“There’s cake in the dining car!” Pinkie’s big eyes filled Lightning’s vision. “Hurry before it’s all eaten!”

She disappeared back into the luggage compartment, the door closing over her with a slam.

Lightning stared at the compartment over her head for several long seconds, eyes unblinking. After a while, she slowly scooted out from beneath it and stepped backward into the aisle.

That was enough Pinkie Pie for one day.

Yet even as Lightning walked towards the back of the train, she realized that Pinkie was right: if she really wanted to go to Nildia, who were they to stop her? And she did want to go. She really, really wanted to go. This was supposed to be an opportunity to prove herself, to get her name out there, to be a hero, and they were going to make her linger in the background?

Buck that.

As she walked through the train, Lightning’s determination steadily grew. How dare they make her a benchwarmer? Worse, a benchwarmer for Rainbow Dash. Lightning knew she shouldn’t rush in like she always did, but the question was back in her mind: why bother asking her to be on the team if she wasn’t going to do anything? Fine Crime knew she had goals and dreams, he of all ponies should know better than to try and deny that to her.

She refused to remain in second place forever. She would go on this adventure, she would make a name for herself, she would make Keen proud. Yes… and she could even impress the Wonderbolts. Fluttershy and Airheart could watch over Keen for two weeks, it wouldn’t be a big deal. There was no reason for her not to go.

Before Lightning knew it, she was at the last car. This had to be where Twilight and the others were. Setting her jaw and slapping her cheeks for the extra jolt, she slid the door open and stepped inside.

Fine, Twilight and Octavia were sitting close together, their heads coming up as one at the sound of her arrival. Lightning was surprised to note Fluttershy sitting not far from Fine, though she didn’t seem to be part of the conversation.

Twilight offered a pleasant smile. “Hey, Lightning, come on in. We were just trying to figure out who’d be doing what on the foreign team.”

Lightning nodded politely to her, having no grudge whatsoever against Twilight. She’d been planning to address her, but her eyes locked on Fine and her blood began to boil.

He was the one who’d put her down. He was the one she would address.

“We need to talk.”

Fine’s lips tightened in a terse frown. “I figured as much.”

He glanced to Twilight, who nodded and stood.

“Come on, girls, let’s go talk to Jimmy about what he’ll be doing.”

Lightning stepped aside so that the others could leave, her eyes locked on those of Fine. He leaned back in his seat and crossed his hooves, not once averting his gaze.

She spoke up the instant the door was closed. “I want to go to Nildia.”

Fine nodded. “I know, but I don’t think you should.”

His confident manner had her blood boiling again. Lightning lifted off to hover over him at close range. Part of it was to let off steam, but she also wanted to show her determination.

“Why? What makes you think Rainbow would be any better than me? I need to show that I can do this!”

Fine raised an eyebrow. “It’s not about who’s the better flier, LD.”

A snarl escaped her lips; how could he lie about it so easily? “Like hell it isn’t! This is because she’s a Wonderbolt, isn’t it?”

He heaved a sigh and rubbed his forehead. “You really think Twilight and I would make the decision based just on that?”

She flung her hooves high. “What other reason is there?”

Fine’s lips tightened once more and, before she had a chance to lower her hooves, he stood up and poked her under her left wing. Hard.

It was like being run through with a red hot poker. Lightning’s wing and legs on that side froze up. She let out a cry and dropped to the floor with a thump, clutching at the scar with trembling hooves.

Very suddenly, she hated him more than even Rainbow Dash.

Fine’s voice was soft and apologetic. “The muscle’s never going to be the same. The doctor said if you try to fly to the best of your previous ability it would break apart again.”

Goddess damn that pony, he really did have an answer for everything. Lightning glared up at him through her fringe, her jaw set as the pain slowly subsided. “It’s my risk to take, Fine.” At last she was able to climb to her hooves.

His lips curled back in a sneer. “Lightning, I’m trying to help you! You’ve got to stop this tough act and face reality. If you overwork yourself and the muscle breaks, there’s no guarantee it will be able to heal again, and that muscle isn’t just for your wing. You could spend the rest of your life in a damn wheelchair!”

“I know!” The burning subsided and she was finally able to give him the full effect of her glare. “You think I don’t? But I can still fly, and fly well. Just let me—”

“Stop competing with Rainbow Dash!”

His words made her pause, lips open mid-word. Was that what he thought this was? Then it hit her, with painful clarity, that he was exactly right.

Fine studied her with all the firmness of an officer commanding a soldier.

“I know you want to prove your worth to this team and yourself, but that’s not the way to do it. You just can’t match her anymore, Lightning. I’m very sorry to say it, but you can’t.”

Lightning bristled, but her frustration had less to do with what he’d said and more to do with the harsh truth in it. The bastard was right, and the thought left a sick sensation in her stomach, but she forced it down through the brute force of her anger.

Even if she couldn’t best Rainbow, there were plenty of other reasons to go: her glory, her pride, her chance to be a somepony. Yes, she was trying to prove herself, and she wasn’t going to let him stop her.

“I still want to go.”

Fine made a sound somewhere between a sigh and a groan, his head falling low in an exaggerated fashion and his shoulders slumping. His eyes rolled up to stare at her for several long seconds. She matched it with her own focused glare.

At last he sat up straight. “This isn’t the military, Lightning. If you really want to go, I can’t stop you.”

Lightning blinked, not sure she’d heard that correctly. He was giving in? She’d actually won one?

It took everything she had not to puff out her chest and strut. Instead, she merely offered a haughty sniff of acceptance and turned for the door; she would gloat once she was certain this wasn’t a trick of some sort.

“…but hear me out.”

There it was, the ‘but.’ Cringing, she worked to ignore him; she wasn’t going to give him any opportunities to take it back. She reached door and began to slide it open—

—it slammed closed. Suddenly Fine was between her and the door. He locked her with a firm glare that had her biting down the words that had been forming on her lips.

“No, Lightning, you need to hear me out. Now sit.”

Lightning shook her head in an attempt to throw off her hesitation, then shot him a glare of her own. “Or you’ll what?”

His piercing gaze didn’t budge. “I won’t do a thing. I won’t have to. There’s a thing called social services, Lightning.”

Lightning was thrown entirely off by this statement, and her anger rapidly faded as she tried to make sense of it. “Social services? What are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about Keen,” he snapped. “If you care about her at all, you will sit and listen to what I have to say.” He thrust a hoof at the closest seat.

Her eyes went wide as she realized what he meant; a lifetime living in an orphanage had made her well aware of the process. “Are… are you saying you’d…”

Fine grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, albeit gently. “I’m not the one you have to worry about! You’re the one who will be doing the damage.”

“Me?” Lightning tilted her head, her brain fumbling for some kind of response. “Why would I hurt Keen?”

He peered at her. “Aren’t you supposed to be raising her? Isn’t that what you decided to do?”

Her cheeks went red; there it was again, that stupid question. She sat and averted her eyes as she thought on her Little Bolt. She was probably snuggled up in bed right now. Just the image in her head made her heart rise a little. “Well… yeah…”

She blinked; that was the first time she’d properly admitted it, to herself or out loud.

It felt… good.

Now that he had her full attention, Fine stepped past her and sat in one of the booths. He gestured, and though she feared the results Lightning found herself sitting opposite him.

His gaze wasn’t so harsh anymore. On the contrary, his expression had softened considerably. “Think about it, LD. Going off on adventures every time one comes up? When will you take the time to raise her? You have to stay in Ponyville for her.”

Lightning shifted in the seat, unable to meet his eyes. She knew it was true, that she needed to be around for Keen as much as possible. The issue was in her face all over again; what about her own goals? Were they to be sacrificed for Keen? Her conversation with Rainbow came back to her in full force: Keen was her future. She knew it to be true, she knew the best thing for Keen would be to follow Fine’s advice and stay.

But that stubborn voice in the back of her head, the one longing for glory and teeming with pride, refused to shut up.

“I… well… Fluttershy can…”

Fine shook his head. “You haven’t even legally adopted her yet, have you?”

Lightning’s cheeks burned, her stomach twisted. She felt so… stupid. “I’m… not really sure what to do…” All those years as an orphan, and still she didn’t know something like that. Nopony had ever wanted to adopt her.

Looking back, she wasn’t sure she could blame them.

Fine leaned close, his motion catching her attention. She found herself looking into his rosewood eyes and feeling… trapped.

“What you need to do is be there for her. Keen needs you, Lightning. Not Fluttershy, not Twilight or Octavia. You. You believed her story of monsters, you rescued her from being turned into a changeling, you protected her when nopony else could, you took her under your wing and brought her to Ponyville.”

Did Keen need her? Did Keen even want to be with her? There were specifics Fine couldn’t possibly know, things about her relationship with Keen… and yet, at the same time she had this odd sensation that Fine knew the big picture better than she did.

She sagged and bowed her head. “Since when do you know anything about foals?”

“I don’t.” He sat back, perhaps to give her space. “But I know this: you need to make Keen the most important thing in your life, and you need to do it now. If you don’t and you mess this up, they’re going to take Keen away from you and she’ll end up in another orphanage.”

Another knife in the gut. Here he was, telling her exactly what Rainbow had said. Had she really not learned her lesson the first time? Yet somehow, hearing it from him – the pony who had been there, who had witnessed the terror, who had saved her and Keen from certain death – had a wholly different effect on her. Rainbow had scared her… but Fine’s words left her feeling like she was back in Foal Mountains, staring at all those wicked blue eyes and listening to the taunting laughter of creatures that had once been her precious, precious little friends.

Her words slipped out in a shaky whisper. “They can’t. Keen… she… she’d never survive. She still has nightmares.” Lightning stared at her shaking hooves. Her vision blurred as her eyes turned moist. “She still wants to sleep with me, so that when she wakes up in tears she can snuggle up to me and… and…”

His touch to her hoof was like a jolt of electricity coursing through her, making her head jerk up. Once again she found herself caught in those concerned eyes.

“I understand,” he whispered, “and so do you. You need to make a decision, LD: your glory or Keen.”

Just like what Rainbow had said, yet so much more powerful. Lightning closed her eyes and envisioned her little filly trembling under the covers, surrounded by foals who weren’t what they seemed. What had she been thinking? She was already on thin ice; if she messed up again, Keen would go back to one of those places.

Gallivanting off on some adventure in Nildia and leaving Keen to be cared for by foalsitters at a time like this?

She’d lose her for sure.

Lightning buried her face in her hooves. She felt so… weak.

“…alright, Fine. Alright, you win. I’ll… I’ll stay…”


It was well past midnight in Ponyville. Lightning was hovering just outside the cloud home of Airheart, shivering in the winter air. Her heart was heavy, thumping against her chest in a slow, quiet rhythm. She wondered what it would look like if anypony saw her… but when it came down to it, she was in no mood to care.

Slowly, she drifted up to the cloud structure. She had no intention of waking Airheart or Keen, but there was a deep urgency pushing her on. She gazed into the dark rooms, moving from window to window. After a few tries she at last found what she was looking for.

Keen was curled up on a bed, her long legs kicking restlessly as she suffered yet another nightmare. Lightning pressed her muzzle and hooves to the glass… and just stared. The softness of the filly’s face, the faint tears on her cheeks, the twitchy jerk of her legs. The sight had Lightning’s chest growing tight, her heart pounding and her throat constricting. She was almost desperate to slip in there and hold her precious Little Bolt close, to comfort her and let her know everything was alright.

She’d never felt such a strong, instinctual need to protect Keen like this. To know she was right there, that all Lightning had to do was punch her way through the dense cloud walls... it was almost unbearable. Her kid, her charge, was still in this state, and she’d actually considered abandoning her for two weeks to go off on some adventure.

What kind of guardian was she?

Keen’s movements slowed, her kicks ceased. The filly shifted and rolled to her side, her breathing normalizing as she came out of the nightmare. Lightning heaved a deep sigh of relief and forced herself to pull away from the window. Yet she lingered to stare at the delicate little white face, her heart filled with longing.

A chill breeze knocked her from her reverie. How long had she been out there?

She pressed her hoof against the window one last time and turned away. She flew slowly through the night sky, her eyes on the stars. She was suddenly glad that Luna wasn’t requiring all her ponies to go on this trip. Maybe she’d known all along. Maybe Fine had arranged things this way through her.

She didn’t know if such ideas were true, but if they were then she was very grateful.

To think she’d almost thrown this gift away.

Lightning landed before her small home, her wings fluffing against the winter air. She pushed open the door and stood in the threshold, her eyes slowly roaming the bare walls and sparse furniture. The place felt so… empty. She remained there for a few seconds, battling against the urge to fly back to Airheart’s and gaze upon Keen once more.

She sighed in resignation; she needed to go to bed. Maybe if she fell asleep quickly she could see Keen even sooner. Encouraged by this idea, she moved forward… and stepped on something.

She lifted her leg to find a letter on the ground. Realizing she’d not checked the mail today in all the excitement, she picked it up and carried it to the small kitchen table. Normally she’d have ignored the bills till morning…

…but then she realized that she’d just paid the rent last week. Her curiosity overcoming her weariness, she lifted the lone letter and flipped it over. Her eyes went wide; it had the insignia of the Wonderbolts.

She ripped open the letter and poured over its contents.

Lightning Dust,

I’m no good with writing, so I’ll try to keep this brief.

Its no secret that you were pissed when I expelled you from the academy almost two years ago. I was unimpressed by you’re attitude, less so by more so by how you didn’t understand your flaws. Your arigence airog arrogance was going to get ponies killed and it was clear you weren’t Wonderbolt material at the time.

But were you did impress me was in your flying skills. I won’t lie, Lightning: your amazing. I was in a slump for a month when I realized I was losing such an awesome flyer. So when I heard rumors that you were showing improvement, I paid attention. It’s a shame about your wing, but if Soarin’s anypony to trust (and that guys honest to a fault) then it wasn’t enough to hinder your skill.

I’ve been keeping tabs, Lightning. I gather it’s been rough, but I’m also seeing how you’re growing. There may be a Wonderbolt in you yet.

I incur encorra encourage you to come to the academy next month. I want to see what you can do with that bum wings of yours. We have the best avea aeve avi wing doctors in Equestria, maybe they can help you out. Come on over, show me your moves, stay a few days. If you really have mellowed out, there might be some bright things for you’re future. As Captain of the Wonderbolts I can’t sponsor you, but impress me and I might be willing to pull a string or two.

Spitfire

PS – Told you I was no good at writing.

Lightning stared at the letter. She read it again. And again. A personal letter directly from Spitfire herself. Not even dictated – personal.

This was everything she’d been hoping for over the past few months, and it had come much faster than she’d expected. Rainbow must have been sharing more stories than she’d let on, it was the only explanation. That, or Spitfire was just that eager to get Lightning back.

Lightning fell to her haunches, hardly noticing that her wings were flared. She read the letter one more time, just in case. She slowly looked up to the ceiling, her vision swimming with images of the crowds, the races, of flying with the best! It was glorious, it was magnificent, it was… it was…

…nothing like she’d hoped.

Why was there this sinking feeling in her gut?

Why did she feel like crying?

Why was she suddenly seeing Keen kicking and whimpering in her bed?

She stared at the letter in her hooves, her entire body slumped. Here was a lifetime of dreams being answered. It felt more like a curse. If she went to the academy, if Spitfire was impressed… if she became a Wonderbolt, what kind of life would she lead? This wasn’t the reserves, this was the real deal. She thought on Rainbow Dash, how she was always heading off to some event or another. True, she was in Ponyville most of the time, but…

…but that was by choice. Rainbow rejected more than half the offers she earned, not because she wasn’t interested but because she chose her other responsibilities over being a Wonderbolt. Rainbow was captain of the weather team. More than that, she bore the Element of Loyalty; she had powerful commitments to her friends and even to Celestia to stay close in case she was needed, and Lightning knew she took those commitments very seriously.

Lightning, on the other hoof…

Did she have the willpower to stay in Ponyville? If faced with her dreams of glory, would she be willing to set them aside for her responsibilities to Keen? Or would she take up every offer, go flying all over Equestria for weeks on end and bask in the fame that came with the title of Wonderbolt?

It wasn’t hard to know the answer. Just look at how eager she’d been to fly off to Nildia…

Lightning was faced with the cold realization that in this way she was nothing like Rainbow. It hurt to think that she was so much better than Lightning in this regard, but it wasn’t a hurt spurred on by anger or jealousy or bitterness.

This was the hurt of a decision that needed to be made.

Right now.

Slowly, Lightning made her way through the hall and into Keen’s room. She sat next to the bed and stared at that spot by the window, the place where she knew Keen liked to sleep. She could just see the filly curled up in her little ball, shaking like a leaf as the nightmares took over. She could see those hopeful blue eyes begging for help, for protection, for… for understanding.

Lightning closed her eyes and saw Keen doing so many wonderful things: beaming as Twilight praised her magical aptitude; applauding Nye’s bottle juggling; napping in her little ball on top of a bear’s voluminous belly at Fluttershy’s; laughing as Pinkie goofed off with her at Sugarcube Corner; reading quietly at Octavia’s. Her face, her smile, her eyes, her laugh. Keen consumed Lightning’s mind like a gentle flame, bringing tears to her eyes and a smile to her lips.

She opened her eyes and looked at the letter in her hooves. Her tears left small drops on the parchment. She could hear the cheers of the crowd, cheers she’d dreamed of her entire life, cheers that had kept her going for so long.

Lightning’s hooves trembled. Her moist eyes flicked between the bed and the letter over and over again. That beautiful, wonderful little filly… or her glorious cheers.

Her breath came in a slow, heavy rhythm. Her trembling hooves moved up to grip the top of the letter.

She closed her eyes tight.

She bit her lip so much it hurt.

Her legs trembled in resistance.

She heard the rip.

It was like a knife to the heart.

Another rip, and another, each one twisting the blade a little more.

When at last Lightning opened her eyes, she found the floor littered with pieces of paper. She made no attempt to wipe her cheeks clean. She merely stood there, staring down at her horrible deed and knowing that there was no going back.

She crawled onto the bed, buried her face in the covers and sobbed. With every passing second, the cheers faded a little more. She wanted to reach out to that audience, to call them back, to beg them not to go away. She resisted it with all her might… and before long they were gone. No more glory, no more fame.

No more Wonderbolts.

Gradually, her mind began to redirect on its own. Her sobs lessened to mere sniffs, the pain began to subside. Her hooves reached out to grab the pillow, clutching it close to her chest. It was so soft… soft like her precious Little Bolt. She curled around it and let her brain run away with that idea.

The silence was overcome by something new, something happy: laughter. She could hear Keen’s soft voice in her head… and it filled her with a strange swelling sensation.

Pride.

Joy.

Excitement.

…love.

“I’m here, Little Bolt…”

She sniffed, the tiniest of smiles slipping to her lips.

“…no matter what happens.

“I’m here.”

Author's Note:

The first two scenes of this chapter are both shared from the No Heroes Book III Chapter: Beginnings. The first scene had a lot more details about the mission, but I felt keeping all those details wasn't at all necessary, so I used Lightning's thought processes to get rid of extraneous information and try to keep things grounded in the story of Lightning's Bolt. It wasn't easy to time the shifts, and at least one of my editors thinks I could have done a better job of it, but for now I think I'll leave it be.

Getting the train scene right was a bit of a trick. It too is shared with the No Heroes chapter, but when I wrote Beginnings I had no idea of any of the development Lightning had been through by this time. I had to make a number of adjustments to the dialogue in order for it all to make sense. Fortunately, I'm pretty sure I pulled this one off much better than the opening scene.

And just in case it's not clear: all of Spitfire's mistakes are intentional.