Prologue
Disclaimer-my little pony: friendship is magic is property of Hasbro and I do this for fun
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It was a normal day in ponyville ...
"AHHHHH!" ...
Agh, forget it.
As you see this is the town of ponyville one usually quiet and peaceful town founded by farmers about 300 years ago, but not all peace in this town since it was built near the edge of the Everfree Forest legend, who by their nature unpredictable and hostile environments, generated some of the most dangerous creatures of all the magical land of equestria, but usually they avoid the people which makes attacks are strange, so on the occasions that cause great panic occurs, as in this time, now back to the story.
"Sweet celestia, what in tartation is going on here!" - scream a blonde farmer pony with stetson, settled southern and apples mark in his side, it looked like the people shouted with terror and seeing that no one stopped, grabbed the tail of a pink pony with dark pink mane and tail with balloons matting is on the sidewall as cutie mark-"pinkie could tell me what happens? this town is more agitated than the floor in a cattle stampede "- asked his Pink friend, then heard a cough angry and turned to look at a cow who seemed offended by their reference-" no offense "- apologized and the cow only was went indignant.
"Do not worry, he's just a little upset because he has to be on a diet this month" - pinkie said happily reassuring her friend and then put his face in fear again-"everypony are running because there's a ... spider "said pausing dramatically before the word spider while put a flashlight under their face and a big umbrella to give the dark and creppy effect.
After the orange fur pony take the flashlight and the umbrella "and that's why all the fuss?" - Said in disbelief and then a laugh, "I did not know that so everypony in the city were so sensitive" - scoffed seeing lots of ponies running in terror and other hiding in their houses, barrels and boxes-"Where is that little monstrosity, I think he would like to meet my boot" joked while pinkamena aim back behind him trembling with fear and when she turn don't believe what he saw.
"RAWRRRRRR" - the beast roared all legs was three times the size of those little ponies and his body was so big it was almost surprising that his legs stand and with that mighty roar, made the pony name applejack ears down and tremble with fear, losing all its value just now and then gallop quickly with his pink friend.
"Do not you said he would like meet your boots?" - asked while fleeing the enormous arachnid.
"I know, but I don’t think have a boot so big that wants to meet him" - said as she ran with his energetic friend complety in despair.
But before the spider could reach, several ropes came out grabbing his four legsand then start spinning around the spider and eventually causing it to fall, then the four ponies finally they tied legs completely immobilizing the beast.
"This sure was the biggest catch of the day do not think" - said a pony with black stetson hat, the dark brown mane, brown coat and wearing artificial red leather vest and boots on the hind legs and finally a rainbow colored apple cutie mark, who was receive the happy applause of the everypony by the tie spider with his 4 companions.
http://azkol777000.deviantart.com/art/zap-apple-410845427
"Eyup" - nodded a huge stallion blond and red coat, had a harness and a green apple departure on their flank, while looked curiously the spider and and moving away when he tries to bite.
"But waht in tartation is this thing?" - Ask one pony green hair tied in twin tails, soft yellow coat and a cutie mark with apple fritters, which was next to a small golden-haired unicorn silvery mane jumping for joy.
"It matter Apple fritter premium? Only thing that matters is that we beat that! Beat it!" said the little unicorn that unlike the adults, he don’t mark on his flank.
http://azkol777000.deviantart.com/art/golden-apple-410847431
"But little brother, so important about all is how he got here?" - said the stallion brown fur with worried eyes until he saw the pony with hat-"hello, AJ! i knew in your city there was a problem pest, but this is ridiculous "- said the hoof pointing to the spider, who just put their many eyes as a sign that it was not fun," how good we went through here with Apple fritter because otherwise you would become soup now for this spider! Even found a big mac by the way! "
"It's good to see you too cousin zap" - and said calmly after what happened.
"Hello, you must be new to ponyville because never before has seen you, and I know them all but everpony in ...!" and ended up being quiet for the hoof's applejack cousin.
"I guess you must be pinkie pie, my name is zap apple and this little here this is my little brother golden apple" - he said, introducing himself and his brother who was outraged.
"Do not tell me small! I'm already a big pony" - said angrily, which made that green-haired cousin laugh and stroke his hair while he muttering.
"Say that when you have your cutie mark" - and said only responded by childishly angry face inflating cheeks "and I guess you know my cousin Apple fritter now someone could explain that to a poniville acromantula here, I did not know that still existed in equestria"- leaving told her blonde cousin confused and her pink friend.
"A acrowath?" - Ask the party lover, very confused.
"You might not look it, but my brother is a genius and knows a lot of rare data about everything" - said jumping off the confused pony.
"I do not know if say genius or know about everything, but I read that supposedly they only reside in Tartarus and the big dog that guards the door prevents to leave" - said as he looked at the spider, constantly trying bite him -"though I seems more rare than okay roar want spiders may roar? " and the spider seem that only under the shoulders, soon to follow their useless attack " gold better go with big mac to the farm, that this is very aggressive " - to which his little brother groaned as he obeyed disappointed going with his cousins the farm.
"I wish twilight was here, she always knows what to do in these situations" - said the fluffy mane pony while jumping happily around the two apples.
"O my gosh! Is that a Acromantula " - said a lavender coat unicorn with straight purple hair in a strand purple and six-pointed purple star white a five small whithe star on the sidewall as cutie mark, "but how is possible? was suppose all were in locked to the Tartarus for thousands years "- said a closer look at the huge spider single attempt bite she-" this is interesting and disturbing "- said interest as measured each part of the spider a tape and wrote it.
"Speaking of the king or queen for that matter" - said the pony with blonde mane looked with some fun as she was investigating the huge spider not caring that this attempt to bite-"do you know where this thing come twilight "- she ask, but she just looked at her with concern.
"No and the worst is that this spider is much larger than what is supposed to be his kind" said keeping the research materials in his saddlebag and looked with bewilderment the enormous arachnid-"with this and the stars who disappeared, more problems appear "- whisper as she checked into a book and compared with notes her take.
"How's that are disappearing the stars, Miss?" - Asked the cousin of applejack to which the lavender unicorn turned, realizing for first time the existence of the black stetson pony.
"Oh, hello my name is twilight sparkle and what I mean is that for some reason some stars went last night and no pony knows the reason, neither say in books and driving me crazy!" - you end up saying to pony which still does not know either the name, blushing a little at the sudden outburst. "And you are?".
"Zap apple as the name and i´m applejack cousin and come to poniville for this week" - she said with a smile.
"But I have a doubt, don’t remember seeing you in any of the apple family meetings" - said the pink pony taking his hoof on his chin.
"Is because he and his brother live so far away that it takes about a week to come here and he can’t afford to leave their land for 2 weeks" - explain applejack as he settled his hat, "but said that now could happen to visit their favorite cousins to ponyville ¿is’t cousin?"- told, poking to what just caused a little blushed.
"It's not like I had other cousins in ponyville" whisper embarrassed which a little strange twilight but she ignore it.
"Can be a happy reunion and everything but there's no time! I have to figure out how it appeared a monster of tartarus and because disappear the stars!" whined the unicorn.
"Well, I do not know about the acromantula, but if you want to know about why the stars disappear Why don’t find out first as they appeared? Maybe with that know the like may disappear to start" - I ask the student what princess celestia was going to try to answer, but stayed silent and then hit his face with his hoof of frustration.
"Why did not I think of this before? If anyone knows what happens to the star is the princess luna" said happy while the other one snorted with derision.
"Yes, because it's so easy to get yourself an interview with the Princess of the Moon co-ruler of equestria, someone from a rural village as poniville" - said with irony in his voice and then applejack cousin whispered something in his ear "oh, I see, you know I think those raw details are important AJ "- said after realizing he was talking to the student of Princess celestia, while pinkie and applejack laughing at the situation.
"TWILIGHT" - cry a little purple dragon with green spines out of his head to the tip of the tail and a chubby belly showing his young age.
"how nelly, is that a baby dragon?" impressed said the brown-haired stallion who never saw a dragon and unless a baby.
"Yes, his name is spike and is the number one assistant of twilight" - Pinkie said as she bounced around.
"Spike, wath happens, you're in such a hurry" he said and this catch my breath and handed a letter that read quickly-"my faithful student twilight sparkle i need you and the elements come soon as possible to Canterlot to review a problem very serious about the stars that disappear and monsters that are popping up all over equestria, your teacher princess celestia well now that's convenient, right! Pinkie looking at your rainbow dash, applejack while looking fluthershy and spike and my to rarity "- told and all kinds made a military salute while spike met hearts him in the eyes and floating with happiness, then went to look for her friends while the baquero pony felt abandoned with that huge spider.
"If this is like what happened with nightmare moon and that dragon or maybe I'll follow, I will not let my cousin in front of this alone" - said while watching the spider rare as saying you're talking to me and then looked at him with mockery-"shut up!"
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And arrived the train to the capital city of equestria, the great royal city of Canterlot, while a group of 7 ponies out of the train doors were being guarded by a pair of golden armor pegasi guards, white fur, with blue tufts.
"I don’t understand why he has to follow" - said blue-furred pegasus mare with a messy tail and mane, rainbow color, cutie mark looked like a thunderbolt out of a cloud, but as his rainbow colored like her hair and she looked askance at him friend's family who insisted on coming with them.
"Because I can not allow my cousin and sister of my best friend would risk another one of those strange and dangerous missions" said undeterred by the suspicion you have about his premium see him between offended and happy.
"But i don’t think the Princess sent us on a mission twilight da-dangerous is not it?" asked in a whisper a worried one butter colored pegasus with a long pink mane and also very long tail and shaped cutie mark of three butterflies, as she seemed to want to hide behind her hair stallion that accompanied, as it was not someone was familiar.
"I don’t what they think but I find very nice of you to finally join us for a gentleman such things! although it is one of the field," she said in a whisper that last more for herself, one white unicorn a curly purple mane and cutie mark with three jewels as their hair color.
"Now that does not matter, after all the princess celestia does not care that also come, but we still have to go to the palace already" - end up saying the lavender unicorn already tired of the conversation.
After leaving the train station , completely ignoring the white streets full of high society ponies with luxury suits , they going directly to the largest building in the entire city , the great palace where sun moon princesses live who the great rulers of equestria , after passing the entrance to the palace , guarded by two guards pegasos white and gray coat , went straight to the throne which is a mare with a diference a many o ponys she had wings and a horn simultaneously , making it an alicorn , much bigger than everyone in the room including strongmen unicorn guards were on either side of him with a pure white coat , a gold adornor in her hoof, a crown that represents as royalty with a mane of multiple colors that appear to be at the northern lights and look kind and motherly , but at this time also showed concern and this majestic mare was nothing more nor less than the princess who brought the sun every day , the princes celestia.
"I'm glad you could come my faithful student twilight sparkle" - said the teacher of lavender unicorn at her soft voice knelt with his friends, then gestured Princess and the guards left his post leaving them alone at 8 .
"Princess Celestia, I can ask you know what's going on?" - wonder worried about the situation experienced above-"How is that a tartarus monster was in ponyville? And that's what happens with the stars? you know? "
"I know what's going on and unfortunately these are not separate events" - she said showing his great concern in his voice.
"What in tartation you mean princess? How is that even possible" - I wonder what zap quite surprised that it's basically the sun goddess.
"Zap apple i guess" the princess said to the pony that had accompanied the bearers of the elements, "if you want to understand, they must first know as the stars were born" - told what the unicorn with a six-pointed star as a cutie mark I look around a bit puzzled.
"And the princess luna? Thought she would explain" - wonder waiting for her to appear, but nothing happens.
"She is doing something very important at this time and should not be interrupted, but still she is not who created the star" - and let that statement surprised everyone, because the star are only visible at night are expected was she who controls them, "or more precisely she is not who made them visible."
"What in tartatio supposed to mean?" asked the farmer's stetson pony already very confused about the whole situation.
"The stars exist long before our birth, even before this planet, but they were not visible at night until an event for thousands of years," he told them as he left the throne.
"Then who was the one that made visible the stars?" asked the pink pony just confused her friends.
"Follow me" - and the group followed the majestic mare through the castle looking at the incredible structures showing both strength and elegance until they reached what appeared to be a corner that did not show anything special, "here is" - said then her horn began to glow golden as the light of dawn, and throwing lightning causing a portion of the wall produces water waves as you throw a stone and finally disappears as if there were.
"Real Illusion Magic, extremely complicated, but it can make illusions made in solid and disappear is a much more complicated to create it" said the pony farm also admire and surprising many about their knowledge of magic.
"And you know this how?" asked the blue pegasus with a sincere curiosity.
"Nonpony never know when or what information can be useful, so it is best to know of everything for all times," he said with a smile to the blue pegasus laughed coughing something like egghead hiding very little.
"Is a very good suggestion my little pony" congratulate the Princess, silencing the pegasus who laughed nervously, then they followed celestia by a dark hallway as they walked could see several unlit torches until they stopped and all the torches were lit at the same time showing several stained glass where the center of all there was a painting male alincorn whose coat appeared to be the same night sky, whith a platinum full body armor that had three jewels, red, yellow and blue in the neck a white jewel on the shirtfront and bright as a star who even in painting looked strong, proud and majestic as he was surrounded by what looked like his great achievements in stained glasses.
http://azkol777000.deviantart.com/art/the-star-alicorn-410746224
"Who ... is he?" twilight ask to see majestic stallion image alicorn that even in the stained glass you could see a great power that only felt before his own teacher.
"He .. is my brother" - said the princess with some sadness, surprising all the ponies who were in shock.
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Alicorn OCs. Ugh.
I have no idea what the description said. You need to work on you sentence structure and punctuation, bigtime.
Yeah, this story's got more than a few problems. As if the Alicorn OC wasn't off-putting enough.
3357958 Thanks for your advice, i´m very bad at the english because i live in chile
welp i see an alicorn OC...
i.imgur.com/ylAXV.gif
EDIT: your English wasn't all bad but your execution of scenes could be better.
3358050
Well, to be honest, if the description is an indicator of your English writing skill, I'd suggest not writing until you get a better grasp of writing English. You're only hindering yourself right now by giving your account a bad name with this story, and you'd be able to remake it when you get better. Take an advanced ESL course and try again when you can write easily and fluently.
You got a good story going here but WillieNelson is right. i suggest taking a break on this fanfic and working on your english. Still, as i said this looks to be a good story and i'd like to read a grammatically improved version