Pimp Spike's Swag

by trahzo

Ch.6: Eating Ice Cream With a Silver Spoon.

"Princess, please let me stop, the tip of my toungue is beginnning to get sore!" Big Mac pleaded.

"NEIGH, YOU ARE BEING PUNISHED, NOW CONTINUE TO LICK MY HOOVES WHILE I NARRATE THE NEXT STORY!!!"

She then read the next letter

"Well well well, looks like Spike will be shipped with Silver Spoon. very well, let's begin."

---

"I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!!"

"What do you mean Silver Spoon?"

"I can't do this anymore, you're always like this, you think you are better than everypony just because you're rich!"

"That's because I am, I can do anything I want when I want because I got the money to do it!"

"But this time, you've went to far & now the CMC are in the hospital! For now on, we are no longer friends, goodbye Diamond Tiara, enjoy you're worthless cash!"

With that, Silver Spoon left her used to be BFF alone in her room.

"Hmph, pathetic bitch! She'll never understand that in order to not be weak, you must always be on top of the world." She said with a soul as cold as the artic north.

Meanwhile...
Spike, Big Mac, Granny Smith, Magnum & Pearl, and the mane 6 were all kicked out of hospital because of their persistent refusal to leave because visiting hours were over.

"I'm gonna sui!" Yelled Magnum

"That Filthy Rich must learn how to control his demon of a child!" Rainbow Dash added

"EEYUP!" Big Mac said with the force of thunder!

"Since I'm a princess, I can hire the most unstoppable lawyer in Equestria & take away all of their money!" Said Twilight.

While they were all chanting "Down with Filthy!" Spike heard crying in the bushes. He followed the voice until he found Silver Spoon all alone.

"(Hmm...it's a good thing that she actually has a heart, even if it's a broken one.)" He thought. That's when he fell over because Discord diguised himself as a tree & shoved him with a branch. "Woah!"

Thud! after hearing that, she quickly wiped her taers and put on her glasses.

"Huh? Who's there?"

"It's just me."

"Oh, your...Sweetie Belle's boyfriend?"

"No."

"Applebloom's Boyfriend?"

"Wrong again."

"Scootaloo's boyfriend?"

"3 strikes, your out. I'm Spike, I don't have a girlfriend & where did me being the CMC's boyfriend come from?"

"Well, my classmates at sometimes debate on which one of them is the right girl for you. Sometimes they start fighting."

"(Dammit, warring shipper factions!)" he thought. "So why are you here all alone?"

"I couldn't take witnessing Diamond Tiara's cruelty anymore, so decided to stop being her friend."

"So you finally decided to call it quits huh? Guess the gang was right."

"What do you mean?"

"Everpony in ponyville doesn't have any beef with you Silver Spoon, their rage is targeted at Diamond Tiara, you were just the sidekick. We all thought you just went with her so you wouldn't get bullied, we even agreed with your parents that she was a bad influence on you. We predicted that something big enough would cause the end of your friendship & we were all right."

"Wow, nopony hates me?"

"Nopony, so, do you want to be friends? Do you want to join us?" As Spike held out his claw, the floodgates opened. She started crying tears of joy & leapt at Spike, embracing him, digging her head into his chest. Spike calmed her down with some shushes & pats on the back.

"Hey, wanna ditch this place & go to the brand new icecream parlor that just opened up yesterday?" Spike offered.

"Sure."

So they walked together to the new icecream parlor know Skatescream & bought the most expensive product there. The reason why it's called Skatescream because it's also a roller skating rink also, little known fact, the owner is Starscream! As they were consuming, Pony Adam West, the Family Guy version said...

"so, it's an icecream eating contest huh? Well game on children!" Then he ate real fast until he got a brain freeze & fell to the floor.

after they finished eating, Spike offered to pay.

"No, no, no, let me, you obviously wanted to buy this without thinking."

"No, I actaully can afford it, my mom gives me big allowences."

"Really? Twilight doesn't look that rich?"

"My mom is Princess Celestia, Twilight is more like a sister."

"GASP!" She then got down to the floor & before she bowed down...

"Woah, I'm not a prince I rejected that title so i can make friends the traditional way/"

"Oh, heh." She was embarresed.

After they payed, they rented some skates & skated around the rink, doing moves that put all the couples there to shame. These 2 were having the time of their lives & were coming to terms with something they both have realized

meanwhile...

"Diamond Tiara, you have dissapointed me for the last time, so for now on, my fortune after I die will be going to your older brother, Crazy Rich!"

"(FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!)" She thought.

"I love you." The couple said to eachother and as they kissed, Diamond Tiara hung herself out of pointless frustration, the end.

---

"Well, the ending was very messed at the end, but she got what was coming to her if she continued her trail of being a how do you say jerk, Bic Mac, you are free to go."

"Bess oo rin-ess." He said, with a sore tongue.

"Now, I'll be turning on the T.V. next letter!"

"Right away." The guard said, as Princess Luna was watching the Cleveland Show.

"Maybe your not a racist dick, maybe your just a dick!"

"HAHAHAHAHA, most amuzing!"

"(Can't she put that loud voice to rest? Jeez, I promised Spike, i'd take a day off to play with him tomorrow, but you're being so loud!)" Celestia thought.

Comments

[Badass Brony]

WTF!!

[Prince Leviathan]

Fantastic chapter