Join Fluttershy and her friends on a journey of social, psychological, and emotional exploration in a harrowing tale of self discovery and clandestine relationships. You may never feel the same way about illicit love.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Okay, this seriously does it. This is a good story, but you have made a mess in the chapters. Right now, if you go to the final chapter Rarity doesn't even know about the 'problem' while she and Twilight discussed it previously.
The sequence of events is not going as it should and everything is mixed up. You have to reorganize this story so it can be enjoyable again.
Wowza. What a chapter
Besides stating that this story is really great on many points, something bugs me very much:
Why would they need to be committed? It may come out as a dumb question, but I'm not sure whether YOU believe that a long- to lifetime and happy relationship has to be a married one, or if it's just what the CHARACTERS believe, according to the society they live in. However, what I know from experience is that you can have a happy, non-married family made of a couple AND at least a child (two in my case) that lasts for longer than half the married ones.
I'm aware that I'm arguing over a point that may look stupid for most, but an answer would matter a lot to me.
I repeat though, that this story has drastically changed my points of view on a few sensitive subjects, and it's been in my opinion for the better. So let me thank you for having written this chapter, for writing this whole story, and in a general way for being born. For your existence blesses us all, we who were ignorant about so much, yet that you've been able to grow wiser than we used to be.
Thank you. You're awesome.