The Many Loves of Chrysalis P0n-3

by Chrysalis P0n-3

Chapter 3 - Lyra Heartstrings

"I keep forgetting to send that letter back home to Chryssie," Chrysalis P0n-3 thought, so he grabbed it as he walked out the door. On his way, he ran into Derpy Hooves. He knew she was the mail mare, so he asked her to send his letter and she said she would.

Lyra had agreed to meet Chrysalis P0n-3 just outside the Everfree Forest. She wanted to discuss anthropology with him and didn't want anypony around. This was also opportunistic for the changeling, but he kept that to himself.

"Hey thanks for coming," she said when he walked up. "Sorry for asking you to meet me at such a random place."

"Don't even mention it," came the reply.

"Right. So I think you know I study anthropology and I was going to ask you if you've seen or heard of any humans. I just know they exist, but haven't been able to prove it," said Lyra.

"As a changeling following Queen Chrysalis around, I've seen many places and various animals and creatures," he replied. "I've never seen a human, but Queen Chrysalis said she knows they exist. I never asked her about it."

At that, Lyra beamed. She didn't know what to expect from his answer, but he had renewed her hope.

"By the way," he continued, "I know you have that big gig coming up with Octavia and the rest. I ducked into the concert hall and caught part of the practice sessions. It sounded really good All of you were spot on." He could tell she was about to ask him how none of them noticed him. He chuckled. "I'm a changeling, remember? I blend in pretty well when I want to."

Lyra had some books with her about trying to discover and study humans and she wanted Chrysalis P0n-3 to go over those with her, so he did. They cuddled as they skimmed the books together. When it started to get late enough where they couldn't read the books anymore without using magic, they decided to call it a day. Chrysalis P0n-3 kissed the mare and they both went home for the night.

Author's Note:

Shipping my oc with whatever characters I want within the same story is a dumb idea I had, and it's gotten me 4 thumbs up and 28 thumbs down so far, so I don't think proofreading is going to make any difference. So, I didn't have anyone proofread this chapter. And the rest of the story will probably go without any until completion. The premise of this story in and of itself is impossible to write something that is deemed good literature. Shipfics themselves are not easy to do well. Oh and someone gave me an awful good idea lol. Whoever it was that said they could see where this was going, helping Fluttershy with woodland critters, etc., I wasn't going to go there, but I am now. And this isn't a trollfic, per say. It's more of a defiant fic. I'm writing this story for fun because I want to, and while I listen to criticism (esp. the helpful variety) and will do my best to heed good advise, it's my story, darn it, and I want to write it, and am still inspired to do so.

Comments

[Dusty Old Qrow]

Uh....

Chrysalis P0n-3? Really? Is that really what your character's name is? That's lame, bro. And mine isn't much better (Speed Jumper. Yeah.), but at least create something original without taking other characters' names.

Also, not only are you using your OC, as your username (Which basically means everyone who reads this will assume you're creating a shameless self-insert to fulfill your dreams in story form.), you're using your profile picture as the cover art. Or the cover art as your profile picture.

Over all, seems like a pretty bad fic. Not gonna read this, but I do hope you come up with something better in the future.

[Chrysalis P0n-3]

I may as well respond to that now. Myself and my oc are 2 entirely different entities that share the same name. Me personally, I find nothing at all appealing about cartoon characters, let alone ponies, as far as romance goes. I have no waifu (my oc does, however). My name: it isn't *that* unoriginal. Sure I could call myself something totally original. I could just go by Tic Blank like I do on other websites or I could come up with something else, but in brony circles, I go by Chrysalis P0n-3, though if you run into me at Bronycon you can call me Tic or by my real name if I tell you it, idc. Getting back tot he point, to me what's "unoriginal" is calling yourself Pinkie Pie or DJ Pon-3 like some people do, including successful brony musicians. I'm not going to get into this, suffice it to say I don't care if those people are original or not.

[Dusty Old Qrow]

3366197 I never said you were actually using this to fulfill dreams, I said people will assume you will.

And as for your OC, people who use "Pinkie Pie" or "DJ Pon-3" as their names when they're writing songs are only doing that to give off a feeling as if those ponies made the songs, like Pinkie's Brew, or Pony Rock Anthem. Your OC's name is just plain unoriginal. You want your OC to be its own thing. Therefore, using "Chrysalis Pon-3" doesn't suit it well (Add the fact that DJ Pon-3 is only Vinyl Scratch's stage name, not her actual one.). Your OC's name should reflect his abilities, personality and/or strengths.

Take my OC for example. I came up with the name first. Speed Jumper. Why Speed Jumper? He's fast and he can jump high. So next, I designed him. Blue coat, blue mane, green eyes (All these are supposed to be similar to Sonic the Hedgehog's design, to reflect his "Speed" part of the name.), and he wears a Mario hat ("Jumper"). While its not totally original, I made an OC that works. Yours just plain out steals other names.

[Chrysalis P0n-3]

You misspelled my oc's name, there's a zero P0n-3. And Pinkie's Brew is by Sherclop Pones. Also, the fact that those people actually use the actual pony as their oc, my oc is a changeling that has my hair and eyes. Maybe I'm not being 100% original because I didn't name my oc "Bob Gordon IV" or something, but I don't want to. My point is that there are people being more unoriginal than me, but they are more well known and popular. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with what they're doing, but what I'm saying is if you're not giving them grief, don't give it to me either, please. The only reason I bring this up is because you are unoriginal in your complaint about the name I choose that I'm happy with and that I'm not going to change. Lastly, if you want to come here and offer some constructive criticism that my chapters are too short or something that hasn't already been said, that's great, but if you want to say 2 things #1 of which I've already heard at least a couple times before (including on here) which has nothing to do with the story anyway and #2 which has also already been said and is the premise of the bloody story itself and can't be changed, you really need not bother. Have a nice day.

[Dusty Old Qrow]

3367732 I'm just trying to give some advice. They do it in the song business because they want it to seem like the actual pony made the song. I'd give them grief, but it can't be changed.

I'm only trying to help. Sorry if I'm coming off as rude, but I'm going through some shit right now. 'Chrysalis P0n-3', if you want to keep the name, that's fine. But it doesn't make any sense and tells us nothing about the character.

Plus the actual premise of the story makes Chrysalis P0n-3 seem like a total asshole. Dating a lot of mares, the Celestial Sisters, all at the same time? Not only would that be plain impossible, as someone would say, "Hey, I'm dating this guy!" And then someone else would be like "No, I'm dating him!" Then a shitstorm would insue, then the Princesses would catch wind of it, causing THEM to get mixed up in it. The entire story is riding off the fact that NO ONE has the sense to say the name of the pony they are dating.

[Marshmelon]

There's something kind of artful about this chapter.

I mean, all of the plot is in the prologue. All of the conflict, all of the story, really. Each chapter thereafter just details a series of honestly kind of lame dates. But after some discussion, I've realized that each of these chapters, hints at the existence of the world it's set in-- and I mean that in a very good way. Things beyond the scope of the story (such as it is) are happening. Twilight Sparkle greets her brother with a hug. Cheater McOC went to see Heartstrings at rehearsal. Twist stays late to ask Cheerilee about her grades. None of these things have any impact on the story, but it feels like a pretty good representation of real life.

I don't know how to explain it in a way that doesn't sound negative, and I'm not trying to do that. Certainly, the whole thing is kind of terrible. But picking up on a sort of realistic retelling of fictional events is very... neat.

And this chapter in particular stands out from the others, mainly in that it doesn't end in "and they kissed and went home." It's stark and a little awe-ing.

((Also I'm convinced there's a story in there, somewhere; Twilight Sparkle's spell was accidentally a LOVE spell!))