When Soldat Conrad Schmidt of the German 6th Army is shot by a sniper during the Battle of Stalingrad, he is sent to Equestria.. However, it isn't the Equestria we all know and love.
Some things to point out in the chapter ''The Birth of a Revolution'':
a human soldier from the Germany.
So I'm unsure about this one. Did you mean to refer Germany as just a geographical location? If not then only use ''the'' before country names if they include a noun in them, like ''The United States of America''.
as they watched the staircase revealed itself
This should be ''reveal''.
Can you give me a full report on what’s happen to Equestria
...god I hope you aren't doing what I think u are. It would be a shame if rarity is still working for twilight. This story is already depressing enough.
7122435 You can blame me for most of that, I edited on my phone after I put off editing for a day and then the author told me he was publishing the next day. A bit of hindsight, I suppose. I promise to do a better job next time.
a human soldier from the Germany.
So I'm unsure about this one. Did you mean to refer Germany as just a geographical location? If not then only use ''the'' before country names if they include a noun in them, like ''The United States of America''.
This used to be "the nation of Germany", but Germany was not really a nation, it was an empire at that point in time. When I commented on that, it seems the "the" was left behind when he changed it. Either way, either adding a noun, i.e the Empire of Germany, or deleting the "the" would probably work better. Right now it's a bit confusing, but still technicaly grammatically correct as during the time period the area was denoted as the greater german empire, so "the Germany" isn't false.
Can you give me a full report on what’s happen to Equestria
''Happened''.
I suppose you could change it to "Happened", but then you imply that the report luna gives is that what is happening to Equestria was in the past, rather than the relocations happening in the fic that are in the present. "Happening" would work better in my opinion as then it implies that the problems that Luna goes on to explain are current, which many of them are.
News has been impossible to come by in Sunny Hills
''Have''.
I don't see why this is an error, they're both continuous present perfect. (has/have + been + present participle) Also, considering that news is a noun, "has been" would fit better anyway.
7125125 If something manages to slip through, feel free to post a comment. Me and Echo aren't completely perfect at catching every single error in there.
7124877 7125125 This is a bit late, but take a look at the rest of the sentence.
Rarity and Applejack let out a soft ooooh as they watched the staircase revealed itself, but Conrad was silent as he observed.
While 'as they watched the staircase revealed itself' would work with how the quote that Austerx used is written, it should actually be reveal. This is because they did not watch as the staircase revealed itself, rather they 'let out a soft ooooh' as it reveals itself. They are in awe in the present tense rather than past tense, so that would make revealed reveal, instead. Flyerton, I actually originally pointed at the exact same thing before removing that from the comment because I realized he was correct. The confusion I think comes from the as, which is used to elaborate on what the two are in awe at, so rather than seeing it as as they watched in the past tense, it should be viewed like they watched the staircase (reveal) itself. Because Austerx quoted the as, it seems as if it no longer acts as an elaboration (because the previous text is not available in the comment) and instead changes the tense in the sentence. Therefore, it is imperative that we look at the whole thing before wrongly correcting a commenter because he didn't quote enough of the sentence
7122035 kek
Going to Deutschland, eh? Top kek, good sir, top kek.
have fun in Germany freund.
Some things to point out in the chapter ''The Birth of a Revolution'':
So I'm unsure about this one. Did you mean to refer Germany as just a geographical location? If not then only use ''the'' before country names if they include a noun in them, like ''The United States of America''.
This should be ''reveal''.
''Happened''.
''Have''.
Continue the good work.
...god I hope you aren't doing what I think u are. It would be a shame if rarity is still working for twilight. This story is already depressing enough.
7122435 You can blame me for most of that, I edited on my phone after I put off editing for a day and then the author told me he was publishing the next day. A bit of hindsight, I suppose. I promise to do a better job next time.
This used to be "the nation of Germany", but Germany was not really a nation, it was an empire at that point in time. When I commented on that, it seems the "the" was left behind when he changed it. Either way, either adding a noun, i.e the Empire of Germany, or deleting the "the" would probably work better. Right now it's a bit confusing, but still technicaly grammatically correct as during the time period the area was denoted as the greater german empire, so "the Germany" isn't false.
I suppose you could change it to "Happened", but then you imply that the report luna gives is that what is happening to Equestria was in the past, rather than the relocations happening in the fic that are in the present. "Happening" would work better in my opinion as then it implies that the problems that Luna goes on to explain are current, which many of them are.
I don't see why this is an error, they're both continuous present perfect. (has/have + been + present participle) Also, considering that news is a noun, "has been" would fit better anyway.
Keep up the good work in spotting my shame.
7123547 Thank you then for correcting some of mine there. I goofed up,
should indeed be ''happening'' and the ''has news'' is correct. Sorry, must have been drinking something.
I try to do my best even though English is not my first language. I hate to make any mistakes, especially if they are as stupid as these ones.
7122435
Actually, past tense, so it's supposed to be revealed.
7124877 Oh great, well never again to correct anything.
7125125
If something manages to slip through, feel free to post a comment.
Me and Echo aren't completely perfect at catching every single error in there.
7124877
7125125
This is a bit late, but take a look at the rest of the sentence.
While 'as they watched the staircase revealed itself' would work with how the quote that Austerx used is written, it should actually be reveal. This is because they did not watch as the staircase revealed itself, rather they 'let out a soft ooooh' as it reveals itself. They are in awe in the present tense rather than past tense, so that would make revealed reveal, instead. Flyerton, I actually originally pointed at the exact same thing before removing that from the comment because I realized he was correct. The confusion I think comes from the as, which is used to elaborate on what the two are in awe at, so rather than seeing it as as they watched in the past tense, it should be viewed like they watched the staircase (reveal) itself. Because Austerx quoted the as, it seems as if it no longer acts as an elaboration (because the previous text is not available in the comment) and instead changes the tense in the sentence. Therefore, it is imperative that we look at the whole thing before wrongly correcting a commenter because he didn't quote enough of the sentence
It's Pinkie's space slug. I know it.