When Soldat Conrad Schmidt of the German 6th Army is shot by a sniper during the Battle of Stalingrad, he is sent to Equestria.. However, it isn't the Equestria we all know and love.
6734716 yeah here in Finland someone who was in charge of what foods should be served at schools decided that it would be a good idea to have iron rich blood cakes a copule times a week and it's pretty good too.
I found the reference but then I forgot it. Do I still get a cookie? I mean, brownie? :D
Still some errors, though Here are two: (nothing and there should be a space after the "...")
about, nothing full well that she was awake...only for
And another:
fur to be seen except for a short layer of brown on it’s head seen, barely
Still, the story's going great and I hope you add more chapters! ^.^ Would also be a good idea to get an editor or such to look the chapters over pre-release.
“Of course there is Twilight! I mean with how big the universe is, there’s gotta be something out there! Maybe there’s space slugs that take pretty princesses to evil lairs, or maybe there’s cute little bears that live in treehouses! Maybe...maybe there’s a species of apes that walk on two legs and ride aro-”
A note for dialogue that's bugging me and I noticed last chapter: new speaker, new paragraph. If you change who is speaking you don't keep it in the same paragraph, even if you have some sentences in between. It's a clarity issue for English.
I love it so far! You have a few spelling & grammar errors occasionally, though.
Let's just hope this doesn't fall into a confusing mess like the last one! :P
For the werchmatch!!! XDXD
And the Ustachas!!!!!XD
6732192 I hope so too, I just needed to restart to gain my bearings, and know just what I wanted to do. I'might glad you're liking it so far though!
[DAS VATERLAND INTENSIFIES]
Brownies? Those remind me of blood cakes.
6733499 How....?
6734575 they look so much alike that i could mistake one for the other
6734701 Odd...
6734716 yeah here in Finland someone who was in charge of what foods should be served at schools decided that it would be a good idea to have iron rich blood cakes a copule times a week and it's pretty good too.
6734722 OOOH. You're not from the US...tell me, do you have brownies in Finland?
6734768 yes we do.
6734794 Alright then....thanks for the info, it's nice to know that brownies aren't just an American thing.
I found the reference but then I forgot it.
Do I still get a cookie? I mean, brownie? :D
Still some errors, though
Here are two: (nothing and there should be a space after the "...")
And another:
Still, the story's going great and I hope you add more chapters! ^.^
Would also be a good idea to get an editor or such to look the chapters over pre-release.
6735847 I know...I'll poke around and see what I can find. But yeah, here you go:
stalkerville.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/sweet-potato-paleo-brownies-600x450-89251.jpg
6735889 YAY!!!!!!
6732919 PANZER PANTHER READY FOR BATTLE!
Ewoks from starwars
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20100610151723/headhuntersholosuite/images/4/4e/Jabba_the_Hutt_001.jpg
A note for dialogue that's bugging me and I noticed last chapter: new speaker, new paragraph. If you change who is speaking you don't keep it in the same paragraph, even if you have some sentences in between. It's a clarity issue for English.
Gotta be Warhammer 40k. I mean Commissars ride tanks!
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/warhammer40kfanon/images/c/cd/Drive_me_closer_i_want_to_hit_them_with_my_sword.png/revision/latest?cb=20091011115912
(Yes I know that's not the references but it's a joke! The actual references are to Star Wars and Gummi Bears )