Alright, alright ... so flashbacks? I guess ... whatever. Some comma and capitalization errors which are a bit endemic throughout. How is she laying in the initial scene? A little more description would be nicer. Not like McWordyson but just a scooch. The OTHER flashbacks were developed nicely enough but seemed a bit out of place. That's where the focus of the piece is, the flashbacks. Again, they were developed nicely but I feel we should have had more 'oomph' in the main story then we got. As it stands, the 'main' story seems more like an excuse to string some flashback scenes together. And the parts with Pinkie make me feel like you're just taking the piss mate. I know she's random and all that but that isn't a blanket excuse to just write whatever.

Then that ending.

Ok, I like humor as much as the next guy but this was a bit too 'lawl random' for me. Maybe you were planning a threesome and ran out of time? I'm thinking that might be it. A bit more focus on a singular story thread instead of the flashbacks and maybe try to use Pinkie differently. Oh, and take more time - I think you ran out at the end.

Sorry I implied it might be a trollfic. It really kinda looks that way at first glance to me but now I realize you just ran out of time.

Umm... okay, what happened at the end there? And I am not making a pun. I mean Pinkie's behavior kinda made sense and the flashbacks were okay, then I don't know.