Meet the Spy
I was back in the warehouse again. We were supposed to be meeting in two minutes, yet I still can’t hear anything. I wonder what’s taking her so long?
As she spun a pen around in boredom, a crate shifted. Soon enough, the pony was drawn to the sight of a box gliding across the room towards her. When it was within a few feet of her, it vanished. Her eyes shrunk somewhat as she darted them around, searching for a ghostly box. She paused for a moment as she considered the absurdity of that thought. Her revelry was cut short by a flash of green fire in front of her.
“Hello, dearie. I’m Chrysalis.”
Alarm bells were ringing non-stop throughout the facility. It was Chaos. Discord would’ve loved it if he could see this. The place was being assaulted by only eight ponies, yet somehow they were completely decimating everything. Half of the communications arrays were lagging badly, and practically all of the static defenses were not responding The security chief sighed. The only bright side was that they had several decoy rooms where the documents were hidden in. The brown coated unicorn barked out orders into a microphone, hopefully guiding the mercenaries into the longest path possible. He already sent a few guys to gather the actual files and slip away from it. Now was the time where he regretted separating the files. It was going to take a while to compile all the evidence.
As the unicorn looked through the video feeds, a sense of unease began to gather in his stomach. For some reason, eight seemed like a wrong number. His mind kept on referring them as the Team of Nine... His pupils shrank. Oh no.
He dashed into the back of the office and opened a file cabinet. He grabbed out a manila folder and dropped it on the floor, frantic eyes scanning though the articles. This was a list of soldiers, mercenaries, and crazed gunmen that have been sighted. After a few minutes of tossing paper to the side, he found a small article about a team of elite soldiers being made for the Royal Army. He wiped a bit of sweat off his dusty red mane. They chose nine different ponies based on certain skills.
There was the Scout, chosen based on the recruit’s speed. Scouts generally are great at ambushing and hit ‘n runs.
Soldiers are rather average compared to others, though may vary due to different personalities. They are often seen with ranged explosives.
The chief glanced at the screens and counted under his breath. I’m missing one. He flipped though a few pages and stopped. ...It’s the infiltrator. There is a spy “...in the base.”
”What?”
The chief stood up and ran towards the secret room. “We have a Spy in the base!”
He ran past other security ponies who hardly gave him a glance, already busy with their own problems. After some nimble acrobatics (quite difficult in such stuffed hallways) he burst through the secret door. To his relief, everyone on duty was still accounted for. He wiped some sweat off his head. “Any trouble with the files?”
The other ponies looked around confusedly. “I ... guess? No complications yet, sir. All files are currently accounted for. Just need to organize them, sir.”
He exhaled in relief. “Phew. That’s one worry off my back.” Good. Nothing entered. But that still means we may have an intruder. “Hey, did anyone happen to catch a spy on the way here?”
The ponies in the room glanced at him. “What spy?” one of them asked.
He waved a hoof. “Nevermind. Not seeing anything out of the ordinary is a good thing. As long as nothing gets through this door, we should be fine.”
He pulled out his phone and checked the security cameras. Good, the group was being herded into a large circle. This shouldn’t take much longer. Once everything was packed, it will be shipped off discreetly, and hopefully away from these mercenaries' reach. He didn’t know why anyone would want to steal these in such a fashion. Maybe there was some sort of secret code? It didn’t matter. He wasn't paid to ask questions.
He was about to put his phone back into his pocket when something caught his eye. On the camera feed to the room he was in, his figure was noticeably empty. “No way,” he whispered. “I don’t think the equipment is malfunctioning. The only other possibility is ... sabotage.” He shakily slipped a hoof gun out of a holster. If that spy is in here, and yet none of them notice, then they must be mind controlled. The longer this goes on, the more material he or she will steal from us. The real spy could be anyone in this room. He gulped. It could be ... anyone. I may have to kill everypony here just to keep the secret safe. He slowly raised his weapon. Was it worth it?
Suddenly, three of the ponies paused, and spun their heads simultaneously to look at him, derailing everything he was building up to in his mind. His mouth gaped open in surprise. A shimmer, like a heatwave, shifted from it’s position near the shadows of one of the cabinets. It swirled, then receded with a flash of green fire. The security pony stood in the shimmer’s place, looking at its copy near the door, blood dripping from a bullet through his head. The clone walked over as the stallion collapsed, placing a dark green revolver into an invisible holster.
“What a shame,” he whispered, brushing his hair away from his glassy eyes and closing them.. “I dislike killing. It only leaves evidence behind, and little for me to use.” He glanced at the red streaks in his hoof; the dead pony’s mane had apparently hidden his blood. He floated up the dead unicorn in his magic and placed him in a corner, cleaning off some of the blood out of his coat and arranging his and body to make it appear that he was asleep.
He stared puzzledly as one of the dazed looking ponies handed her a briefcase. “Ah, thank you,” He said, accepting the intelligence. He popped open the case, scanning them briefly as he went towards the door. He levitated the stolen camera phone onto his hoof. This would be helpful, He thought, locking the room behind him with a spit of a green, wax like substance.
More plz.
Well now this is a coincidence I never expected to see. Then again, if I'd been paying more attention to the TF2 group I probably would have noticed sooner.
I should've known that there would be someone else other than me writing a parody of the Meet the Team videos. And like mine, it also seems to be detracting from the 'storyline' of the original videos. Heck, you've even got the interviewer's identity in doubt, and my readers have been mentioning that my interviewer isn't who she seems to be lately.
... The coincidences of the Internet never cease to amaze me.
Anyway, you're doing quite well as far as I can tell. Don't stop writing - ever - because all of us readers will be waiting for your next chapter. 13 people are already awaiting the next update. I'm proud to call myself the 14th.
*Likes and favourites*
EDIT: Think I noticed a mistake here. “I can not be contained.The hurricane goes where the hurricane wants,” she boasted. (Meet the Scout)
Missed a space between the full stop and The. (I'm really too particular about these things.)
EDIT 2: “But hey, its a relaxing job, organized chaos. Not exactly my type of lunch, but at least I don’t get Rainbow’ed. (Meet the Demoman) Missed the " at the end. Same for Meet the Soldier - “A good soldier (like me, obviously,) is also proficient in improvisation. So, we combined that with surprise and stealth. - and Meet the Sniper - “It all worked out, in the end, as you might notice. A Sniper is generally further from the action, a long ranged assassin. - and - We all pitched in to get much of this equipment shipped to this shop, though I still spent a good portion of my time here. - but then again I'm hardly the best at deciding what is correct and what is not when it comes to writing. So do what you think is accurate, because you probably are right.
EDIT 3: Meet the Soldier - Several rockets floated out of her flowing hair, and armed them by flipping open the claws. I think there should be a "she" somewhere in that to convey the fact that it is Nightmare Moon who is arming the rockets, but refer to above edit and remember about the regular lack of accuracy of my corrections. Also, still in the same chapter, as the alicorn explosive jumped away into the darkness. I'm not entirely sure what you mean by alicorn explosive - since I assume that the Soldier is not explosive - so there might be something wrong here. I'm not sure.
EDIT 4: This comment is getting really long. But anyway: The recoil blasted her through the door knocking over a few workers and some security guards - should there be a comma between "door" and "knocking"? May just be me though.
EDIT 5: Scout’s generally are great at ambushing and hit ‘n runs. - Meet the Spy. I thought there was only one scout in this story, and even then it should be "Scouts" and not "Scout's". And here I am being particular again. Just ignore my rambling if you want. And also: Not seeing anything out of the ordinary is a good thing.. - Extra full stop there.
EDIT 6: Again for Meet the Spy: and hopefully away from these mercenary’s reach. Should it be "mercenaries' reach" instead, since there's more than one of them? Change things at your discretion, I guess.
3280814
I got to go to class now, but you have no idea how much squee I'm producing.
I'll look over the problems when I get back.
And Thank you, thank you for visiting TF Foundries.
Whether you are here to stay, or off to other places unknown, we hope you enjoy your stay here.
3280814
And,,,done, I looked it over, and I agree with all of them except for Cadance, since she has't finished talking.
The main reason I decided to start writing this was because I noticed that even though their personalities matched rather closely, Very few of the Main 6 seemed like cold blooded killers, or heck, even very good at it. RD/Scout, Flutter/Medic, and maybe Macintosh/Heavy would seem normal holding the weapons/items and acting out said role. Especially Rainbow, since she's speedy and all. The rest are all personality based. Applejack has a southern accent, and I won't say she's dumb, but she doesn't seem like one who would invent a sentry gun. Zecora casually lobbing explosives everywhere? Eh. Spike isn't that crazy. Rarity....I think the main reason was because they both like dressing sharp. That's it. I can't really see her stabbing people in the back and flicking the blood off. Twilight and Sniper both have pragmatic personalities, but she's more of a brainiac than a shooter. Pinkie? Burning everyone? She seems to be more of a knife kind of gal, and actually be better suited as a spy in Pinkamena mode.
I will admit, Cadance as Sniper was a tenuous choice at best, since Sniper was the only slot left.
Everyone else, in my opinon, has a good reason to be in their slot, and do pretty damn well doing it. As mentioned in my source image, screw personality. This time, roles are based on skillset.
Firefly is still fast, still fits Scout.
Nightmare is crazy. Soldier is crazy. She has an army of ghost soldiers, Soldier thinks he is a general of decapitated heads.
Pyro = Fire. Celestia = Sun = Fire. Duh. And for a side arm, she prefers the Solar Flare over the flare gun. And the reason I'm not spoiler tagging this is because its on the freaking cover art.
Discord. Bombs ~ chaos. Kablooie.
Heavy tanks. Sombra is half magic here, and can quickly regenerate wounds from his magic reserves like the Quick Fix.
Engineer, smarts, Twilight.
Medic, Night is a time for rest and recuperation, and I think somewhere in Greek Mythology has this.
Spy. Chrysalis. Her entire species is known for infiltration, why wouldn't I choose her?
And even if the Main 6 + 3 were competent, this is TF Foundries. We aren't satisfied with competent. We want the very best. No impurities. Just raw power. Need I mention Chaotic explosives from a certain explosives and a castable Solar Flare spell?
3281530
Heh heh... mine aren't so much of a personality comparison as it is a fusion of personalities, so that Sniper Twilight, say, is part Twilight and part Sniper - the drive to learn comes from Twilight, and the efficient killer side comes from the Sniper. Something like that.
Oh, and in Pinkamena mode, to me at least, she'll be more in the "destroy everything" mentality, and senseless brutality is one of the best ways to express that mindset. In my opinion, that is. She just seems a bit too... unrefined to be a Spy. At any rate, Rarity doesn't seem like the type of pony suited for front-line combat, and well... Chrysalis is elsewhere in my story. I'm not going to reveal anything until my story does it for me.
In fact, now that I think about it, all the overpowered characters - Alicorns, Draconequui, and other creatures that have wings and a horn - are all not in the team because it would make the class they're representing too powerful. And this is supposed to be a fair game. For me at least.
Also, you might think your weapons are really good and... explosive compared to mine, but wait till I get to MvM! When that happens... well, your weapons will probably still be better, but that's not the point. Have you ever seen an explosive so powerful it blows up the whole map? No? I thought not, since I haven't either. Those things are potent, you'd better keep them out of Discord's reach. Who knows what he'll-
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/204/2/7/mlp__picture_it____discord_by_tifa_the_strange-d58bg1b.png Too late.
... Oh no.
3284363
Spoiler: My Mann v Machine will wither be titled
Mare vs. Machine
or
Pony vs. Phony.
Spoiler 2:
I have practically gave all my pre-readers a headache when I tried to explain to them what this is actually turning into: A rescue operation.
Random: Imagine what TF2 would be like if the Snipers got access to a .50 caliber machine gun with a scope, a sentry gun that can see through walls, and a grenade launcher that causes random effects each time you fire it.
3284701
Lol... *spoiler* my entire MvM doesn't even include robots. I've got to find a better name for it. Hm...
At any rate, it looks like you're also moving beyond just Meet the Team. I look forward to seeing the day when this fic becomes a story of its own.
...And while you're busy making rescue operations, I'm busy orchestrating a war of massive proportions. Guess that just goes to show who's more
bloodthirstysadisticviolentwarlikedrama-loving.3284754
I'm currently in the process of making Meet the Engi less brain-breaking.
And tearing at my hair every time I read the dialogue for Medic and Pyro.
I appear to suck at dialogue more as time went on.
3284994
When it comes to things I suck at accurate characterization takes the cake.
3285022
The only type of characters I've been able to write well consistently are my own OC's, an eccentric lonely genetic shapeshifter, a cynical intra dimensional warrior, a stoic cyborg, and an insane chaos-machine infected pony.
I'm trying to learn how to "get in character" of characters I didn't create.
3285063
You and me both. One of the reasons why I decided upon a fusion of characters of the ponies and mercs was because I couldn't characterize, so I decided to use the blend of characteristics that I could write the best for each character.
I still wasn't able to write them well, but at least I did it better than I might have otherwise.