A Black Belt in a Colorful Land

by DismantledAccount

Chapter 22: Bad News

Chapter 22: Bad News

The Next Day, Tuesday, Morning…

“I can’t believe nopony wanted to come with me,” sighed Twilight, as she walked through the Everfree Forest. "Actually, I can believe it. Rarity had to make up for lost time after taking Ditzy to the spa yesterday. Rainbow is currently getting her cast off of her wing, thanks to the wonders of medicinal magic. Pinkie Pie is in the hospital as well with cracked and/or broken rib so she is out too. Applejack is busy working on her farm, as per usual. And Fluttershy, who would have been my first pick is-" she paused for a moment "-sad," she finished, not able to find a better word.

She walked alone in the wonderland of green as she followed the purple glow of her horn. At least I was able to refine the tracking spell, she thought, stepping over a tree root. I wonder why Alexander decided to return to the Everfree? If I remember correctly he said that he didn’t enjoy his stay here. Then again, we hardly know anything about him. He could have been lying or stretching the truth. The only things that we know for sure are not very helpful. He is an omnivore, his species is hyuman, his name is Alexander, he isn’t from here, and he doesn't belong here. I think the last one is the most unusual. Why would he say that? Rarity told me that Alexander said that to Ditzy. I’ll have to ask him some more questions when I talk to him.

As Twilight continued walking in the forest she called each plant or animal by its scientific name. “Hello, Danaus plexippus, how are you doing today?”

The colorful insect waved to her and flew away.

“Hello to you too, Tamiasciurus hudsonicus!” she called to the trees.

The fluffy tailed creature waved back from the branches of where it sat.

“Good day, Spizella passerina, it’s a wonderful day, isn’t it?” she said in the general direction of tweeting.

She heard a few chirps in response.

She stooped down and closely inspected something on the ground. “Hello, Taraxacum,” she whispered gently.

The object just waved in the breeze.

As she skipped along merrily she continued calling out names that her friends wouldn't understand. “Urocyon cinereoargenteus, Procyon lotor, Meleagris gallopavo, Melanerpes formicivorus, and Bubo virginianus! This is so much fun!” she giggled. “Whenever the rest of my friends are with me I can’t partake in the simple joy of calling things by their true names.” She did a little twirl in the air as she jumped over another tree root. She landed on one foreleg and hind leg with all the grace of a ballerina. Nailed it! she thought.

However, when she tried to put her hind leg down she placed it in an unseen patch of spiny plants. “Eeep!” she cried, leaping away from the offending plants. “Aah!” she yelled, the trajectory of her jump sending her face first into a tree. Twilight hit the tree with a loud thump that shook the entire tree and numbed her face. She stumbled around for a few seconds before tripping over the root that she had jumped over so gracefully not moments ago. She yelled again as she face-planted into the spiky plants that had ruined her morning. Well, at least nopony saw that, she thought, slowly getting to her hooves.

“Smooth, real smooth,” said a stallion’s voice. “Just like sandpaper on gravel.”

Ponyfeathers. Twilight looked around until she found the source of the voice. It was, in fact, Alexander. He was standing there with his forelegs crossed over his chest and a slight smirk on his face. He also seemed to have made a makeshift crutch out of a branch at some point and it was tucked under his left shoulder.

“What do you want?” he asked. “I figured no one would follow me in here.”

“Well, a couple of things actually,” replied Twilight, noting the way his pants almost seemed to blend in with the foliage. “Starting with a few questions.”

“You can ask but I’m busy, I doubt I will feel compelled to respond,” Alexander replied, turning around and limping away on his crutch.

Twilight cast a quick healing spell on her face to get rid of the worst of the scratches. She got to her hooves and rapidly caught up to his side. “Soooooooooooo…” she said, putting her questions in order of importance in her mind. “Why are you here? In the forest, I mean. There are plenty of better places to be and yet you came here, why?”

“My only chance of getting back home lies in the same way I got here,” he replied, bending over to pick up a few sticks.

“Where is home for you?” Twilight asked. “I have never seen anything like you before in all of my research.”

Alexander replied by ignoring her.

"What is the name of where you come from?" she asked.

Alexander replied by ignoring her.

“Fine then, how did you get here?” she tried.

Once again she was ignored as Alexander broke a large branch off of a tree.

“You know, if you tell me how you got here I might be able to send you back,” said Twilight enticingly. “Not to be boastful, but I am somewhat of a knowledgeable pony.”

They entered a small clearing with an even smaller campsite in it, complete with an already burning fire and tent made out of tree limbs and covered with moss for a roof. Alexander sat down by the fire and looked away from her. “...Fine,” he muttered after a few minutes of awkward silence, broken only by the crackling and popping of the fire. “I was brought here by a doorway of light. I thought it was a regular door but evidently not, because I woke up somewhere in this forest. I’m just going to wander around the forest until I find it again.”

“You came through that door and survived?!” squealed Twilight, her jaw dropping. “You need to tell me everything you remember for scientific recording! Just think of all of the new data…” she trailed off, drooling slightly.

“Do you know something about the door?” he asked.

“Yes, actually,” Twilight said, snapping out of her trance. “But not as much as I would like. There is only so much you can study about something of that nature without going through the portal.”

“Well, I have a life to get back to, so if you will just point me in the right direction I’ll be off,” Alexander said, standing up again.

“Uhhh… Ohhhh… How should I put this… The thing is… I have some good news and bad news. The good news is that I know exactly where the door will be when it reappears,” Twilight said gingerly.

“Really? Where?” he replied eagerly, looking over at her.

“Well, that’s the bad news. The door will reappear approximately one mile that way...” said Twilight, pointing over his head. “...In five hundred and thirteen years,” she finished with a wince.

He blinked for a minute then shook his head. “I don’t believe you,” he said.

“Would you believe these?” asked Twilight, summoning six books from the library and opening them to the the pages that reference the mysterious doorway of light. “Scientists have been studying it for five thousand years, ever since it appeared.” She levitated the books over to him and continued, “So unless your species can live to be… how ever old you are now plus five hundred and thirteen, then…”

Alexander carefully inspected each of the books. His eyes moving more and more frantically with every passing second. After he finished the last book he slowly sat down. “I still don’t believe you,” he said, shaking his head

“Why not?” asked Twilight. “I have no reason to lie to you. There is nothing that I could gain from lying. And more importantly, I proved it with evidence. Those books were not written by me, therefore, the six of them combined make a rather strong point.”

“I don’t believe you because I can’t. I just can’t comprehend the fact that I will never see anyone that I care about ever again,” said Alexander. “And the fact that I don’t trust your so called ‘proof’; you just created it out of thin air.”

“I wish I was that powerful,” said Twilight wistfully. “But the magical power required to create something out of nothing isn’t wielded by anypony. Not to mention the fact that it would be impossible to think of that many words to put onto the pages in the few seconds that I took to summon those from my library.”

“But-” started Alexander.

“Furthermore, the writing styles are all completely different in each of the books,” interrupted Twilight. “If I could emulate each of different authors with that degree of accuracy then I would have to be each of the authors,” she continued. “Anypony should know that. It doesn't matter who you are, logic dictates that it isn’t possible.”

Alexander’s expression became more and more depressed as she continued.

“In conclusion, the only option left is that I am telling the truth. And the truth is that the door will not reappear for five hundred and thirteen years,” she said.

“When you put it that way…” said Alexander.

“So, any more doubts that I can crush with logic?” she asked.

“I guess I’m stuck here,” said Alexander with finality.

“Don’t think it about like that. This is great! Now I can learn all about hyumans! Let’s start with the proper pronunciation of your species’ name because I’m pretty sure that you pronounced it differently than I did,” said Twilight tactfully. “After that I should get some samples including, but not limited to: skin, marrow, hair, tears, urine, sperm, blood, organs, bone, saliva, and feces. Then begins social integration and tests. Many tests. Information will have to be recorded in several books and added to dictionaries and the like. This will be so much fun! I just can’t wai-”

“You just don’t get it do you?” interrupted Alexander.

“Get what?” asked Twilight, slightly confused.

“I’m done. There is no point anymore. I have nothing to work for. No reason to continue.” He lay his head on the ground and began staring into the sky. “And that means I can do whatever I want.”

“Still not quite following,” said Twilight.

Alexander’s foreleg shot out toward her and he wrapped his flexible claws around her throat. “Do you feel that?” he asked, squeezing slightly.

Twilight nervously swallowed while nodding.

“The thing is, with a little squeeze, I could end you right now. The only consequence that I could have would be death or imprisonment, neither of which are seeming like bad ideas. I have no goals in life anymore. No way to see anyone I care about ever again. No way to have a family to pass my skills onto. I couldn’t even have any friends who are taller than my waist. There is nothing for me to work for. Think about it, imagine that everything that you have worked for, dreamed to come true, and ever cared about has been completely taken away. You don’t even have the decency to be surrounded by your own people. You are a stranger in a strange land; that is me. And I for one am going to live the rest of my meaningless days struggling to survive in a forest of crazy beasts and magical plants. And who knows, maybe the door will reappear early. That is the only chance I have.”

“Could you, ummmm…” started Twilight nervously.

“Fortunately for you I won't kill you,” he said, releasing her. “I don’t really have any desire to become a serial killer. Yet. Now get out of here before I decide it’s worth the effort.”

Twilight turned around and ran as fast as her legs could carry her. “Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant!” she yelled over her shoulder, running for the library.

Author's Note:

I like eating raw fish.

That is all.

Comments

[hs0003]

At fucking last! It was about damn time that I read that speech!
I have been waiting for someone to write about how meaningless everything would be for a year!
Someone may have written a short version, but non quite as dedicated as yours were.

Ps. Sushi is awesome.

[Tenshi no Yami Honoo]

Can someone translate what Twilight said at the end

[Mr Skeleton]

I too like eating raw fish.

Also you made Alex seem that much more human to me, so congrats thats actually pretty hard, making a character seem and feel real and what not

[PickleSurprise]

But but but.... he has Ditzy and her bubble butt. Well whenever they make out up, that is.

[PickleSurprise]

3479955 May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy

[titan1995]

Good to see a human who realizes the gravity of having everything you ever knew and everyone you ever loved ripped away forever

[Rainbow Song]

if my Latin is correct it means 'May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy' but i could be wrong.
if you want to know what twilight was talking to here:
Danaus plexippus is Monarch butterfly
Tamiasciurus hudsonicus is American red squirrel
Spizella passerina is Chipping Sparrow
Taraxacum is Dandelion
Urocyon cinereoargenteus is Gray fox
Procyon lotor is Raccoon
Meleagris gallopavo is Wild Turkey
Melanerpes formicivorus is Acorn Woodpecker
Bubo virginianus is Great Horned Owl

P.S. you have know idea i overjoyed i am that you use true names and you used Latin (I think). Its rare i fine incredible writers like YOU

[DismantledAccount]

3479951
3479985
3480554
Every fiction I see the main character is always like, "YEAH EQUESTRIA!!!" No one (that I have seen) gives a second thought to what you would be leaving behind. I had hoped to give his character more depth with this chapter and apparently it worked! Thanks for voicing your approval, it's always nice to know that what I think is a good idea is also thought of as a good idea by the followers of this story.
Therefore, cementing the idea as a good one.

3479986
I see what you did there.

3483956
I thought that scientific Latin would be exactly "Twilight". Glad you enjoyed it.

Also:
atlanticseafoodmarket.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/sushi-chicago1.jpg
This is good food. I this food.

[Sethi]

"GET OUT OF MY YARD SPARKLE KID! Huff, friggin unicorns..."

[Old Diggy]

Utinam logica falsa tuam philosophiam totam suffodiant

'May faulty logic undermine your entire philosophy'
I don't get it

[unknowncape7377]

3485048
You are a fish person