The Poncho Chronicles I: The Beans

by BRyeMC

The Reunion

Tyrone, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Poncho veered off the the road and into the forest. They jumped across a stream and dived over some bushes into a small clearing.

“We can rest here I guess,” stated Poncho looking around for any strange sights, which he wasn't able to see one.

“It’s good enough, but keep a lookout for anything suspicious,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Mayne, this shit’s crazy, we need to get to the rest of the group, real talk,” said Tyrone in a worried voice.

“Let’s just stay here for a bit then we can continue,” said Rainbow Dash, “we also need to find Applejack and that other guy most of you hate.”

Poncho had some chips in his backpack that he took out and shared with the rest. The group chilled and talked for the next hour, but making sure to not let their guard down. To lighten the mood, jokes were told, some even at Tyrone, but Tyrone shook them off as he was used to being made fun at back home. After a hour or two, all the chips were gone and the jubilant atmosphere was drained of life.

“Why do you think those ponies are after us?” asked Fluttershy with fear in her voice.

“I don’t know,” said Rainbow Dash, “they’re probably a bunch of psychos trying to have some fun around these parts.”

“Fun? They killed like three people, how is that having some fun? I know what fun is, and that is NOT fun. Fun is having parties with me and Gummy!” said Pinkie Pie excitedly. Poncho was in awe on how much Pinkie kept her jubilant attitude no matter what was currently going on. She could be falling from the sky without a parachute, and still manage to have fun.

“Heck if I know then,” said Rainbow Dash looking away to take watch.

A few moments later, the group eventually decided it was time to continue down the road, by this time the sun was beginning to rise. Like all prior days, the coldness of the air was still eminent. It was early August, in the dead of summer, yet it felt like February. Tyrone peaked out of the forest and checked the road. “We good.”

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash soon followed him out of the woods, but Poncho didn’t come out. He sat there, lost in his thoughts it seemed.

“Come out, sketchbag, it’s clear!” yelled Rainbow Dash. Poncho was startled and went quickly with them.

* * * * *

It was early dawn when Cannon was quickly awoken by the subtle noise of bubbling hydrogen dioxide. Within moments of opening his eyes his nostrils were filled with the scent of burning marijuana. Without even taking the time to verify his presumption, he blatantly said, "Are you guys fucking kidding me?!"

“What? We are trying to get high, brother!” said Wahlburn from across the fire-pit. He was sitting with Spike and were both getting ready to smoke some more of their weed they bought in that town a couple of days ago.

“Dammit guys this is fucking ridiculous,” said Cannon getting up walking towards them, “like for Celestia's sake it's 7:30 in the goddamn morning! Fucking ridiculous.”

“We don't have time to waste! We are on a hitlist!” said Wahlburn putting the bong up to his mouth.

“Well you're about to be on my hitlist real quick if you keep this shit up! I'm fucking exhausted. I might've passed out quick like you stoners, but I fell asleep on a motherfucking rock and didn't get a minute of restful sleep and then I get woken up by you bastards, again resulting from your unfaltering addiction to this ‘non addictive’ drug. Fuck you both. Seriously. FUCK YOU ALL!” said Cannon, showing extreme frustration.

“Bro, why are you so angry? Why don't you take some with us? We have plenty to go around.” Wahlburn tossed the bag at him.

“Because I'm not a fucking idiot like the both of you,” said Cannon as he threw the bag on the ground, “I actually want to make something out of myself other than become a drugged out dumbass!”

“Whoa, that is harsh,” said Spike.

Wahlburn now stood up and walked over to Cannon. “Well then fuck you, you chickenfucker!” he yelled as he jabbed Cannon with his hoof.

“Just because you want to Wahlburn, you fuck,” said Cannon, as he shoved Wahlburn back.

“Who you calling a douche ya corksucker! Excuse me for actually having sex on a weekly basis!” said Wahlburn. Spike then ran over to him and gave him a high-five.

“Well excuse me princess! At least I don't have to go after a fucking bitch and fuck her like the walking stick that she is just to say I get some pussy! Hell, I bet when she's about to orgasm, she yells, "Here comes the Crimson Chin!” Wahlburn looked at Cannon with an amazed look while Spike laughed at the comment.

“Too far man! TOO FAR! You know I love her,” said Wahlburn sadly, about to cry.

“Fuck love man. That's bullshit. She fucking cheated on you and shit. Hell, she even wanted to suck my dick there for a bit,” said Cannon. This time, Spike gave him a high-five.

“Come on man, this isn't even right,” said Wahlburn with tears running down his cheek. “I know she did me wrong, but I need her so bad in my life. She completes me.” Wahlburn continued sobbing for a few moments then abruptly stopped and rubbed his eyes.

Awoken by the tomfoolery occurring before him, Patel, still rubbing the "sleepies" out of his eyes, yelled, "God damn it Walburn shut up! For Celestia's sake no one gives two shits about your "Crimson Chin" bitching bitch! So shut the fuck up, get over yourself, get your ass back to sleep. Now!" Patel looked at everybody with extreme hatred. “Can I sleep for one day! Just one!” Patel closed his eyes again and attempted to continue sleeping.

“Man, this place needs to chill out,” said Wahlburn as he walked back over to the bag of weed. He picked it up and trotted back to Spike as they soon began to smoke again. Cannon rolled his eyes and walked to the outside edge of the camp. Wahlburn plopped down beside Spike and looked at him. "I'm glad I got to convert you to the awesome power of weed."

"I thank you too man," said Spike smiling. "It's a great way to end all of my tension Twilight gave me for the past few years."

Cannon looked at the grass as he left the small campsite. Due to the rising sun, the dew on the grass was still visible and reflected a myriad of colored specks along the plains and up the hill. Since he was up early, Cannon decided to be the guy in charge of the firewood needed to sustain that night’s fire. He went to the the same clearing of trees Clyde had went to the night before and picked up some branches that would suffice as efficient fuel for the fire. He walked back towards the camp and looked down the road.

As he was pondering about the other group he saw small silhouettes coming down the road at a breakneck speed towards their camp. At first, Cannon was about to run back to the camp and warn the others, but he decided to not and be the hero that saved them all from harm. When the silhouettes were about half the distance from him than before, he was able to spot details on them. He dropped the firewood in his revelation.

“No way!” said Cannon, as he watched Poncho and the other members of the search group get closer and closer to the camp.

After picking up his dropped firewood, Cannon quickly rushed back to the camp to tell everyone of the news. Patel was up and yelling at Wahlburn for something upon his arrival. “Guys! They’re back!” said Cannon. Patel, Wahlburn, and Spike looked at him confused.

“Whaaa?” said Wahlburn, still bearing the affect of his bag of weed.

“Poncho and the others!” said Cannon eagerly, “I saw them running down the road! They should be here soon.”

“Are you serious?!” said Patel as he, Wahlburn, and Spike ran to the outside of the camp to wait for the others. It took nearly five minutes for Poncho and the others to reach the camp. When they finally arrived, there were hugs and hoof shakes to go around. After the initial reaction, they all settled back to the fire-pit and sat around it.

“So what all happened?” asked Cannon.

“Well...,” started Poncho and everyone gave him a look. He ignored it and continued talking, “We found Sticky injured by a log, which led us to wander into a forest where the others fled to. We got there, and found Rivs dead. So, we ran out and went back to Sticky, who later died.”

“Wait,” said Patel confused, “how the hell did he die?”

“We found Rivs hanging from a tree,” replied Poncho.

“No you idiot, Sticky. How did he die?” said Wahlburn.

This time Rainbow Dash cut in, “We were chased out by something, and in the heat of the moment, we left Sticky behind. The fact that he couldn’t walk completely slipped our minds.” Patel and the others showed a face full of sorrow, but quickly erased all signs of it. “We also failed to find AJ and that other guy.”

Spike coughed. “I’m going to stop you there. Let’s be frank, do we even really care about them?” said Spike, “I mean, what have they done that’s so important for us to save them?” Both Cannon and Wahlburn agreed with him.

“Spike! She is the Element of Honesty!” yelled Twilight with concern. "Why are you acting like this all of a sudden? You never were like this before we came to Seaddle! I don't like your new attitude you gained since meeting Poncho's friends!"

“Replace her then,” said Spike, “no wait, I forgot, nobody cares about honesty. Also, Wahlburn over here helped me enjoy life more. I needed to be more "relaxed" per se."

Twilight had an ignorant expression on her face and soon looked at Wahlburn with anger, but soon, she was calm again. “Speaking of which, where is Rarity?”

“Probably in that tent, that definitely wasn’t there last night,” said Cannon pointing to a random tent near the camp, “then again, I fell asleep early because of these two douches, so I have no idea what did happen last night.” He looked at Wahlburn and Spike with some rage.

“Looks like she did bring her emergency tent,” said Fluttershy. She and her friends laughed, while Tyrone stood up. He walked over to the body of Clyde that was lying on the ground. He punched him in the stomach to wake him up, but he wouldn’t move. He tried again, but with more force and punches, yet it yielded the same result. Worried, he quickly got a bottle of water that was in someone’s bag, and poured it on him.

“Gah!” said Clyde, jolting up, “what do you want?” He rubbed his eyes and looked up. He looked at who woke him up and grinned. “You bastard.”

“Sheeeeeeiiit...” said Tyrone, helping him up, “I thought you was dead.”

“What time is it?” asked Clyde.

“I dunno, probably like 8 or 9. You looks like you just went to sleep not long ago.”

“That’s because I did go to sleep not that long ago.” Clyde wiped off the water from his face and sighed. He then went to the fire-pit to join the others. They told him what had occurred of Sticky and Rivs and also the missing of Applejack and Jeb. Clyde chuckled when he heard this, but quickly cleared his throat to pretend that never happened when Twilight looked at him.

“So what did you guys do when we were gone?” asked Twilight.

“Absolutely nothing,” said Cannon, “well at least for my perspective anyway.”

“We smoked,” said Wahlburn and Spike, grinning. Twilight frowned again at Wahlburn but Spike waved her away.

“No surprise there...” said Patel, “I also did nothing.”

Clyde yawned and answered. “I found Rarity sitting alone atop that hill over there. I went up there too because everyone else was either asleep or high. She was pretty upset that you girls left her here. We talked until dawn and that’s why I am still tired and she is still sleeping.”

“So that’s where your jacket is,” said Cannon noticing the absence of the gray jacket. “This is like the first time I have seen you without it on.

“Well, surprise, here I am,” said Clyde sarcastically.

“If that’s the case, we won’t wake her up, if she doesn’t get enough sleep she can be...” started Twilight.

“Even more bitchy?” said Patel with a surprised look on his face.

Twilight shrugged and about to say something but Tyrone quickly stood up again and pointed to the road. On the road, looking at them, was a group of five hooded figures wearing masks. Each mask had the same symbol on them, the symbol of Phaselus Civilis.

Comments

[HolyCross9]

Why are Cylde's friends talking like Deadpool?