Pinkie's Trio of Tales for Tots

by Metool Bard

The Diamond Dogs and the Iguana

When Pinkie had finished her first story, the twins shared a bit of a laugh and clapped their hooves, indicating that they wanted more.

"I knew you two would like that," said Pinkie with a smile. "Okay, time for Story Number Two. Hmm, let's see... Oh, I know! Let's do one about Gummy! How does that sound?"

Pound and Pumpkin cheered with approval while Discord simply snickered.

"Pinkie Pie, you're the only mare I know who can make rock farms and alligators that stare off into space interesting," he said half to himself.

"I'll have you know that Gummy is a great conversationalist, thankyouverymuch," Pinkie told Discord. "Now just hush up and listen."

She then turned back to the twins, who were too young to question Pinkie talking to a stuffed animal they never saw before. Pinkie cleared her throat.

"Anyway, this story is gonna be extra special, 'cause it involved your parents, too!" said she. "So, let's not waste anymore time and get right to it!"

Story II: The Diamond Dogs and the Iguana

Once, there was a party-rific pony named Pinkie Pie (that's me again!). She traveled the land with a special alligator named Gummy. He was special because he had no teeth. Well, that and I got him as a birthday present from Key Lime. That was a great birthday. It certainly ranks in my Top Five. Marble also got me a pet for that particular birthday; a pet rock named Rocky. I'll introduce Rocky to you two when you're older. I don't want him to get knocked over or chewed on.

Anyhow, Pinkie Pie and Gummy loved throwing parties. They went from town to town, making ponies smile wherever they went. That's my special talent, y'know. You two will have your own special talents when you grow up. Won't that be nifty? I wonder what they'll be. I sure hope it isn't pounding stuff and chewing on things. That would be awkward.

Now, I know I look super happy and hyper all the time, but even I have to eat and sleep. So does Gummy. Luckily, it was Hearth's Warming Eve, and everypony knows that's the day where we think about our fellow ponies. At least more than usual. Trust me, not a minute goes by when I'm not thinking about my friends, and it doesn't matter what day it is. You'll find that most ponies are like that. And that always puts a big smile on my face.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah! Pinkie Pie and Gummy were traveling in the snow on Hearth's Warming Eve. They eventually wound up in a quaint little town called Ponyville (where we are right now), and Pinkie smelled something sweet coming from one of the buildings. And you know what that building was? That's right! It was Sugarcube Corner!

So Pinkie Pie followed her nose and walked up to Sugarcube Corner. She knocked on the door, and who should answer it but your parents, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! However, neither of them seemed that happy.

"What's the matter?" asked Pinkie Pie. "It's Hearth's Warming Eve! Everypony should be happy on Hearth's Warming Eve!"

"That's not the case for us," said Mrs. Cake. "We have nothing to be happy about."

"Well, that's silly," said Pinkie. "Why don't you have anything to be happy about?"

Mr. Cake sighed. "Every Hearth's Warming Eve, my wife and I live in fear. A group of Diamond Dogs have made Sugarcube Corner their feasting place. They come here every Hearth's Warming Eve to eat us out of house and home."

"Well, that's not fair," said Pinkie Pie (and she was right. I should know, 'cause I'm her). "Those Diamond Dogs shouldn't hog all of your food. It should be enjoyed by everypony."

"I know, but what can we do?" said Mrs. Cake.

Pinkie thought and thought before coming up with an idea. "Ooh, I know!" she said. "Why don't you let me and Gummy spend the night here? I know this song about sharing that will surely win the Diamond Dogs over!"

"Well, I dunno," said Mr. Cake thoughtfully.

"C'mon, pweeeeeease~!" said Pinkie. "We don't take up much room, and I'll even help you bake."

"You, know about baking?" asked Mrs. Cake.

"Well, a little," said Pinkie Pie. "I've only worked with birthday cakes before, but I can learn how to make other stuff!"

Mr. Cake stroked his chin. "Well, we could use some extra hooves; especially after the Diamond Dogs raid the place," he mused. "What do you think, sugar plum?"

"I think she has a point, honey bunch," said Mrs. Cake. "I would like to actually enjoy this holiday for once."

"Me, too," said Mr. Cake. "Alright, it's settled. You and your pet can spend the night here."

"Yay!" cheered Pinkie. Gummy cheered, too. I know it looked like that he was just staring off into space, but trust me. Inside, he was jumping for joy. Just like I was!

So all afternoon and well into the evening, Mr. and Mrs. Cake baked their cakes along with Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was a good baker, but she still had a lot to learn. The Cakes, however, were good teachers. And all the while, Gummy looked on and smiled to himself.

Soon, it was nighttime. The day was fun, but it was time for everypony to get some sleep. Pinkie Pie took a quilt to a rocking chair by the fireplace (where it was warmest), Gummy curled up under the table, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake went to sleep in their beds.

Later that night, some ponies found it difficult to sleep. In the streets of Ponyville, sounds of howling and barks echoed throughout the town. Those sounds were accompanied by a loud pounding at the door to Sugarcube Corner. The Diamond Dogs had arrived.

"Mr. Cake! Mr. Cake!" said the leader of the Diamond Dogs. "We've come for our Hearth's Warming dinner! Open the door and let us in!"

Huh. There's an interesting question. Do Diamond Dogs celebrate Hearth's Warming? I don't think they're even part of the Hearth's Warming Eve story. Even if they were, they probably would've been frozen by the windigos because they only think about themselves. I also think the unicorns wouldn't like the Diamond Dogs at all, because Princess Platinum was only interested in gems. Now that I think about it, are gems a unicorn thing? I'm not so sure about that, because I know my sisters sometimes came across gems while working on the rock farm, and...

"Oh for goodness's sake! Get on with it!"

Alright, alright! Sheesh, you don't have to get snippy, Mr. Diamond Dog.

So to further prove that the Diamond Dogs were incredibly impatient, they didn't even wait for Mr. and Mrs. Cake to answer the door. They busted down the door and started eating everything in sight. Not only that, but they left a big mess. How big? Well, picture the biggest mess you two ever made, and then multiply that by a bazillion. That's how big. Jeeze, talk about rude. Rarity would throw a fit if she saw anypony acting like this.

So during the festivities, one of the Diamond Dogs saw Gummy sleeping under the table.

"Hey there!" he said. "I found an iguana! Nice iguana~!"

With that, he took a sharp stick with a marshmallow on one end and poked it into Gummy's snout. Now, there's something you should know about Gummy. He's usually a peaceful fellow, but one thing he doesn't like is when somepony shoves a marshmallow up his nose. He's not too keen on being called an iguana, either. So when this Diamond Dog did both, that really ticked Gummy off. That meanie-pants needed to be taught a lesson.

With a yawn, Gummy crawled out from under the table. He then grabbed the Diamond Dog in his jaws and threw him right out the door! How? I dunno, I was asleep at the time. But I know he did it!

And let me tell you: Never have you seen so many Diamond Dogs run out of a place in such a hurry. Diamond Dogs were running out the door (which they broke down); Diamond Dogs were jumping out the windows. One Diamond Dog even climbed up the chimney! But, he didn't realize that the fireplace was lit. Silly Diamond Dog.

The next day, the Cakes woke up to find a note saying that the Diamond Dogs would never drop in for Hearth's Warming dinner ever again. The letter also said something about a Diamond Dog-eating iguana that they were afraid of, but nopony knew what that was all about. Their best guess is that it had to do with Gummy, but he's not an iguana.

"Wow," said Mr. Cake. "What good fortune! The Diamond Dogs will never bother us again!"

"Oh, that's wonderful!" cheered Pinkie Pie. "Now you can enjoy Hearth's Warming Eve like everypony else!"

"We sure can, dearie," said Mrs. Cake with a smile. "Say, would you like to become our apprentice? We think you have a lot of potential, and your alligator friend could help drive the Diamond Dogs away if they ever come back."

"Well, I dunno about that last part. Gummy's not really a fighter," said Pinkie. "But you had me at 'apprentice,' so it doesn't matter! I happily accept!"

And that's how I met Mr. and Mrs. Cake!

Author's Note:

If anyone is actually considering making this their headcanon as to how Pinkie Pie met Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I just wish to remind them that the pony telling this story also claims that the story of how she got her Cutie Mark is also how Equestria was made.

Comments

[Dapurple]

I don't care; I have a new headcanon.

[Alpha Scorpii]

I already have several headcannons on how Pinkie met the Cakes. One more will not hurt...

[comicfan616]

This story. I may be just spitballing here, but is the source story meant to be something about goblins who come around Hanukah and blow out the candles on the menorah?

[Metool Bard]

3400665 Um, no. The original story this particular tale is based off of is called The Trolls and the Pussycat, with the Diamond Dogs playing the part of the trolls and Gummy playing the part of a polar bear who's mistaken for a cat.

[ShadowLDrago]

I know this song about sharing that will surely win the Diamond Dogs over!

If it's the song you sang in Over a Barrel, then don't sing it, it'll just make things worse.

Also, Gummy isn't the only one who tends to get annoyed by others shoving marshmallows up their noses.