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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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First, this is creepy as heck. I love it.
It would be interesting to learn more about this "trade" you mentioned in the prologue. I don't see someone like Silver Hoof bending his own rules easily. Maybe something to do with the princesses.
I truly have no doubt that ponies (and people) would be willing to resort to cannibalism to survive. The desire to live is something far beyond petty things like morals and ethics, good and evil. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be carnivores and omnivores. Nothing would be able to kill. Man would have never invented the knife, club, bow and arrow, guns, and bombs. We'd all be hippies.
I hate hippies.
Crazy Pinkie/Pinkamena is incredibly well done. Just as random as she usually is, amplified by the war-torn land, and given a good reason. I would like to learn more about where she got the head shot, though.
Rainbow Dash was really well thought-out. Lost her wing, lost her Cutie Mark... Just an empty shell, waiting to die. It's all too easy to see her like that. I really hope to see more from her, though. She may be broken, but she is still the Element of Loyalty. She'll make her way back to her friends, eventually.
Interesting take on Vinyl Scratch/DJ-P0N3. We really don't see much of her in the show. I can see her as a soldier pony. Even from the brief glimpses we see of her, I can see that she's like Rainbow Dash, an action pony. Not a far cry to make her as a fighter, second only to RD. Even the her attitude is like Dash's.
The whole factory bit is disturbing, to say the least. But crazy Pinkamena fits into that role perfectly. A dying land, after all, brings the best and worst of things out of ponies. And she even has a good reason for this twisted act. This Essence of Life sounds interesting. Makes me wonder if it has more uses then as a cure for this plague...
I'm anxious to see how the rest of the Mane 6 handle this dying Equestria. Applejack having been missing since the before the war started is quite something. What could make this honest, hard-working pony disappear on her friends like that? How is poor, timid, shy, easily frightened Fluttershy handling the new Equestria? How is Twilight handling being in command of an army on the losing side of a war? And whatever happened to Rarity?
I'm sure Spike has grown a lot since the war began. He was just a baby dragon when this all started. How has this all affected him? Is he still with Twilight? Has he grown over-protective? How does he feel about Rarity now?
How are the CMC handling all this? Have they gotten their Cutie Marks? Are they some sort of para-military group now?
Since they've been able to grow crops in Skyvale, I'll assume that the princesses are still alive to manage the sun and moon. How has the fall of their kingdom affected them? I know Celestia will be feeling this much more then Luna, since she's the one that insisted on not making the first attack, which could have easily changed the entire course of the war. And all the death and destruction she's had to endure because of that choice... So many deaths... How is the sun goddess doing, with that weight on her shoulders?
Of course, I doubt that Luna isn't feeling anything about this. Returned to her kingdom after 1000 years of exile on the moon, just in time to see it destroyed. And no doubt she's busy comforting Celestia. I can see her putting on a brave face for her, hiding her own feelings on the matter.But how long can she hold it up.
Everything considered, this is one hell of a good story. I doubt anyone else has done anything like this. I can't wait to see how it all turns out. You have talent. Use it.
8757 Wow, quite a review you made there friend. You just read this from start to finish?
Ahem...
This actually has been on ED for a while, noticed this site existed thought I'd port it so to speak. In response to some of your points, I can acknowledge some things without throwing out too many spoilers:
1. Vinyl and Dash actually do fight a good amount because of their similar personalities.
2. Pinkamena is actually one of the smartest ponies in Equestria now.
3. You hit Dash head on there.
4. Dipper's trade is revealed eventually.
5. CMC are going to appear (thus their tags), but I can't say how just yet. I will say they DO have their cutie marks now.
6. SkyVale uses artificial light and magic to grow crops, there is no "sun and moon" raising anymore. An event later on that is explained shows why this is.
7. All the Mane 6 are accounted for in this story, though I can't say how. They each have a unique and diverse role, we're actually approaching the first official appearance of Twilight.
^ Thank Zombie Celestia for absence of comment spoilers in that post.
EDIT: Nevermind I found it I just relaized that the next chapter is chapter 9 even if this is the 9th part of this story. Silly me. Though now that I tried it google docs says it can't find it. Sad face.