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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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yay
244279 While that is very nice and all, it's one of the worst things you can do to an author. Just below saying its perfect. At least think about what you're saying for three goddamned seconds.
Anyway, pointless ranting aside I found this chapter to be oddly filler...y if that makes any sense and it seems it would have benefited from a little bit more thought as to the crash and what not. Even the flashback of pinkie's execution could have gone with some work, while pinkie is indeed all powerful, can she really break out of a full limb constraint while being electrocuted(magicuted?) to death in a collapsing building? I'm willing to suspend disbelief but that is a little ridiculous. As a final note, this chapter seemed lackluster but it is still far far above the usual tripe being posted around here.
244279 Most unpleasant comment. Please avoid it in the future. Saying "yay/awesome/cool/tracked" helps just as much as "YOU SUCK, GO DIE IN A FIRE!"
Ahem...
I am actually quite impressed how the little spoilers you gave me don't do the story any harm at all. Often when I'm given spoilers, the story's plot (movies/books/etc) always wither and die. But your story doesn't. I can't quite explain it... maybe it's because I think your story is just too... vivid? I can't pick the right word to voice my thoughts right now.
Some nitpicking on my part:
* I noticed the lack of a few commas (mainly when preceding names in dialogs) in some parts of the text. Nothing too hard on the eyes, though. But I had to re-read some parts twice to grasp the real meaning of them.
* I don't know how Twilight managed to analyze a bullet that tore through the chopper's engine and flew past it, escaping through the other side.
Pinkamena reminds me of Alex, from A Clockwork's Orange. Not the personality, but the feeling she gives the readers. It's obvious that she did some pretty fucked up shit, but still- she manages to hold our compassion towards her character.
(This came to my mind the instant you referred to Vinyl's cigarette as a "cancer stick".)
But Vinyl is just a bitch.
“There’s no point. We would only end the violence by taking away our free will. If we are going to live in a world without violence, then I want it to be a world that we chose, and not one that was forced upon us.”
This line... it's simply... No. It speaks for itself.
And I know it from somewhere else.
EDIT: I don't know... but the thought of Twilight being able to use a sword gives the story a somewhat sense of Epic-ness (the literature term, not the internet-y one). I'd love to see her in action.
I imagine this playing in the background. I love these 'classic instrumental' battle-oriented musics.
Yeah... I know the term can only be properly attributed to poetry, not prose. But still...
245565 I could see how it could come off as "filler"y, and as always I encourage people to point out mistakes as I try to fix them. I don't always catch everything, nor do my pre-readers.
Also a little clarification on Pinkie Pie as we know her up this point. I never made her out to be "all powerful", just cunning and resourceful. It is never stated that she broke out of her restraints and such. We as the reader never got to see what happened to her after Vinyl and Twilight fled the building, as it was Vinyl's memory so she would not know. I will say that we WILL find out how she is still alive at a later time. All the events up to this point HAVE A purpose. NOTHING is put in there just to be there I can say that confidently right now.
245616 I will jump on these corrections right away.
Also Twilight's analysis did not include the bullet itself. She never specifically mentions she examined the round. She can clearly tell what kind of round it was by the bullet hole, and the magic she mentions was left behind when it entered. So she didn't examine the bullet itself. Hope that clears that up a little.
Also we WILL see Twilight fight at some point.
245616
ARG, how you one up me with your well-thought-out comments and such. It seems someone else other than me hates when people do that.
245822
Never implied that you made her out to be, just stating facts.
246332 It's actually kind of a pet peeve of mine to leave comments that aren't really "feedback" as well. I generally try to give some kind of opinion or thought in a comment.
I enjoyed the chapter personally. Having Dash break out of her shell was a nice touch. One question, are you planning to stay with 1 chapter per month, or was that because of other things coming up? I'd love to see more frequent updates if it's possible.
Another awesome update! I'm hoping we'll eventually get to see what happened to Spike (but I read the beginning chapters months ago, so I may have forgotten if he was mentioned or not )
Lookin' forward to future stuffs!
249884 Sorry for the late reply. I plan on trying to get back into the swing of a chapter per week or so, but I've been hard at work in finishing another story right now so it may take a bit for the next chapter.
I have really enjoyed this, probably too much so. At first, it was a little off putting with the war and wasteland... Rainbow Dash...
But I seriously enjoyed this story and I eagerly await more updates.
Of all of the different fanfics I have read, this dark Pinkie Pie is by far the best. I love how contemplative she is without knowing it, how resourceful she is as well. Her place was a shock, but seemed to fit her. If there was anypony I would want watching my back, it would most definitely be her. With Twi in the front. javascript:smilie('');
Vinyl was a surprise to me, I have yet to actually read anything involving her. She always played off as the "in yer face" type to me. SO I think her portrayal is well done. I had this story on my phone for a long time, took me longer to take the time to read it. I'm glad I did finally do so, but sad there have been no updates lately. I know yer probably busy, I will just keep hoping with twitchy ears and nervous flick in my tail till I see the notification about an impending update. Then I shall have to start over and re-read the whole thing. javascript:smilie('');
Thanks for the story thus far. *Hoofbump* In hopes for more soon.
368172 Once I finish this one-shot that has taking me forever I'll be working on the next chapter.
368310
i come here, a month ago, and see this comment. I come back again, and still I see naught but this comment. Why do you torture me so?
I'm terrible at reviews, and I have way more work to do in the next hour than I should, so I'll leave it at this: If memory serves, yours was the first ever mlp fanfic I read. ever. It threw me for a loop like almost no other story ever had. It left me battered, broken, and on the verge of crying. It is one of two events that taught me to scientifically recognize the feeling of sadness.
This story is what convinced me to start reading fanfiction. This is the story that taught me that there were crazy talented writers out there, that I wouldn't find anywhere else, who wanted me to read their work. I lost all my free time because of you. I've learned more life lessons from stories here than I have anywhere else, because of you. I've explored more types of relationships vicariously, in every method, from every angle, all because of you. So please, reciprocate and continue to produce this beauty.
555476 It's always really cool and enjoyable to hear from people who enjoy my stuff.
That being said, I find myself to be a "decent" writer. I'm far from amazing when it comes to actually putting something down (I have a horrible problem with properly emoting after dialogue, gotta work on that) but I've always been good at conception and planning.
You're not mistaken in saying this was my first ever fanfiction, because it was. I never did fanfiction at all before this.
You can rest assured that more IS coming very soon. I have been going through some stressful times in my real life outside of this and it's caused me to lose a bit of my motivation to write anything down, but I'm trying to get back into it and produce stuff I swear.
Thanks for your comment though, it actually kind of motivated me a little bit to stay up a little longer tonight and begin working on this.