Stormy returned to his seat in the grand ballroom, full from his lunch, and a little swollen. At the end of his meal the entire bottle of water had been downed plus some.
When they returned to their seats Sunny Skies, the white pegasus whose room he originally been placed in, had worked out a deal with Suzanne to rearrange the seats. Edward had been moved to one side and Roderick to the other and both threatened to keep their bickering down. Sunny could be surprising motivational. And against Stormy’s protests he was moved between Sunny and Katherine.
The pegasus looked at his female counterpart, there was something about her, an aura, that was regal, that she had experience and authority. Her face seemed stuck in a perpetual state of ease, as if she knew more than others could understand, that nothing could bother her. It was disquieting.
Mr. Maitland returned to the stage. “Welcome back, I hope you all had a good lunch.” As he walked across the stage. “Now that you are all Bruins, you need to understand what it means to be a True Bruin. Basically the code of conduct you are all supposed to follow.”
The screen behind him lit up like it did during the last presentation. The images were all one large word in gold followed by a sentence in white, all on a field of blue.
INTEGRITY
I will conduct myself with integrity in my dealing with & on behalf of the University.
EXCELLENCE
I will conscientiously strive for excellence in my work.
ACCOUNTABILITY
I will be accountable as an individual & member of this community for my ethical conduct.
RESPECT
I will respect the rights & dignity of others.
SERVICE
I will make an impact in our global community through public service.
Stormy looked out over the crowd as the speech continued, most of the students looked bored, a few took notes, yet some like Sunny acted like it was some diplomatic speech from a foreign dignitary. Edward was paying attention but looked disinterested, Katherine was watching everything that happened up on stage while mumbling to herself, and Suzanne lulled her head to the side asleep. Their NSA was nowhere to be seen.
“I would like to introduce you to Captain Ganz of the University of California Los Angeles Police Department.”
The man that came up to stage was portly, filling out his white shirt and black pants. He looked about standard from what he had seen of humans, another officer went up with him a female with ebony skin, slightly shorter than the captain.
“Thank you Dean Maitland. I am Captain Ganz and this is Lieutenant Valencourt. We are here from UCPD and we would like to discuss how to make sure your time here is as safe as possible.”
Lieutenant Valencourt stayed on the left side of the stage while Captain Ganz moved to the right. “UCPD is a full-fledged police department tasked with protecting both the UCLA campus and the surrounding area including Westwood. But you still need to be aware of your surroundings to stay safe.”
A number came up on the screen. “This is the number you can call if you are out late and feel like you need an escort, we will be happy to assist you. BruinBus is another complimentary service that runs year round from around UCLA into Westwood and runs every ten minutes.”
Officer Ganz went from a slide showing a blue and white bus to one showing a two wheeled contraption. “The biggest crime would be bicycle theft due to so many people using bikes and this campus being so bike friendly, so make sure you lock up your bike properly and wrapped the chain through the rear tire.”
“Another major crime is theft of computers.” The slide switched again to an image of a small computer people were carrying around outside, and several were using to type during the lecture. “Don’t let things like your computer or books out of your sight. It doesn’t matter if you will only be stepping away for a few seconds, that’s all it takes for them to go missing. UCLA also offers free Lojack theft recovery for free for every student.”
The image shifted again, this time to two large male humans wearing odd white clothing grappling with each other. “Another service offered is free self-defense lessons in the John Wooden Center. The cost is covered by a different campus organization every quarter. The instructor used to train LA SWAT teams for twenty years and tailors the lessons to what the students want to learn, from what to do if held at gun point, to if someone tries to sexually assault you.”
The slides turned off. “Are there any questions?” The portly Officer asked.
Several people asked question, which were easy to answer, several of which had already been answered.
Then a white hoof rose into the air next to him. “What do you have to say about the report from Business Insider in two thousand twelve that stated UCLA was the most dangerous college campus in the United States?”
Stormy had completely forgotten that he had wanted to ask that same question, although not as elegantly.
Captain Ganz took a minute before answering. “That article only compared public campuses, excluding places like CSU from their rankings. It was also based off FBI crime statistics for the area UCPD covers which is a population of over nine million people including West Los Angeles, Westwood business districts, and various medical centers. It was a highly overblown report based off of faulty statistics.”
Sunny gave a polite nod. “Thank you.”
With no more questions the officers left the stage and a new person took their place. This one was about five foot ten with stringy brown hair and a wiry frame. He wore a white button down shirt white black pants.
Stormy decided he really needed to learn more about clothing, pants were pants, as in useless but not to humans who may have had other messages conveyed in the way they dressed.
“Hello I am Michael Bernstein, Director of the Freshman Cluster Program. General education typically gets a bad rep. Most students already have their major picked out and have no reason to take any class that doesn’t lead them toward that goal.”
There were a few discreet nods around the room.
“Well… I hate to break it to you but gen ed is required to meet that goal. And if you don’t take it seriously it will tank your ever precious GPA.” Bernstein crossed his arms as he walked around the stage. “For you overachievers that should be enough, now for those of you who actually care about your education, these courses actually have a purpose. Here’s a quote from C.S. Lewis: ‘The task of the modern educator is not to cut down jungles, but to irrigate deserts.’ And here’s another one: ‘Education has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.’ G.M. Trevelyan.”
“Perhaps that still isn’t enough. ‘There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.’ Will Rogers.” Bernstein looked out at the throng of students, minds ready to be shaped. “If you do not have a depth of knowledge as well as a breadth of knowledge; well you are smart, connect the dots. But that, is the purpose of general education classes.”
“You are required to take a total of ten classes plus Writing Two. These must include at least one literary and cultural analysis, philosophical and linguistic analysis, visual and performing arts analysis and practice, historical analysis and social analysis, plus a second from either the historical or social analysis sections. Plus two life science and two physical science courses with one containing a lab portion. The complete list can be found on the UCLA website.”
“However, your major has its own requirements and you will have to look at the with your departmental advisor, but you may be able to get some of your GE classes to count for your major too. The last program I need to cover before I release you to your NSAs for a degree planning exercise is the Cluster Program. It is a yearlong cluster course with a different class each quarter with all three sharing a common theme. Take a look at each of these. The real bonus of the Cluster Program is that it fulfills forty percent of your GE requirements as well as giving you priority enrollment for English Three as well as completing your English Two requirement.”
“And with that I bid you adieu, and hope you take your education as more than just a stepping stone.”
The ballroom was dead quiet as Michael Bernstein walked off the stage.
“That isn’t how I remember orientation…” Chevonne muttered.
The room slowly emptied as orientation groups decided where to go next.
“Let’s go down by the bear to cover how to plan out your degree.” Their NSA led them out the way they came in.
Suzanne struggled to stifle a yawn, moving a hand up to her mouth. “That was fun. Occupy us until three with pointless information.”
“You can’t tell me you didn’t learn anything.” Katherine turned around, making a show of closing her eyes and sticking out her tongue.
“That’s beside the point.” Suzanne made a show of sticking her nose into the air. Her arm snapped out, catching her childhood friend on the arm. “Keep your eyes open, you almost ran into someone, I can’t always watch your back.” Sticking her tongue out in rebuttal.
“But you are so good at it.”
“That’s beside the point.”
They reached the Bruin Bear across the plaza only to see its pedestal already taken up by another group, the group containing Sunny and Roderick. Of the two new people, the first was a lanky blonde wearing a sleeveless white top and short denim pants. The other was a pallid looking girl, her legs and arms were fully covered, and even her hands were covered, the only part showing was her face cast in the shadow of the bear. A male human was standing in front of the four freshmen, he had an oddly squarish head, the grin adorning his face, a permanent fixture surrounded by facial hair.
Stormy’s group found a nearby bench at the edge of the concrete, while the humans sat on the bench, Stormy decided the triangular patch of grass looked divine. He lowered his belly onto the cool surface, letting the blades work their way into his fur, the smell taking him back to primary school, crashing onto Mrs. Myrtle’s yard after a game of catch the cloud. Legs splayed out behind him.
“There isn’t much more to cover for degree planning. Tomorrow we will have a hands on demonstration of how to look up classes.” Chevonne went around handing each person a small packet of papers. “This packet has an overview of the general education courses and more information on the Cluster Program. At the back is also a test sheet for making up a schedule of classes. So if you have any questions.”
“How many units are classes worth?” Katherine asked.
“General Education classes are all five units each, many upper division classes are worth four units. You are required to complete at least sixty units of upper division courses to complete your bachelor’s degree, many of those should be geared towards your major but the rest will be electives.”
Stormy hoped he wasn’t the only one lost. “But what are upper division courses?”
Chevonne face scrunched to one side, before releasing an audible sigh. “Sorry, it’s hard to realize these are not common knowledge to you yet. Lower division courses are foundational and numbered zero to ninety-nine while upper division classes are more geared toward your major and require specific lower division courses as prerequisites.”
“What are our unit caps?” Edward asked next.
“You must maintain at least twelve units to be considered a full-time student and the typical maximum amount of units you can take in one quarter is nineteen. My roommate sophomore year got permission to overload; or take more than nineteen and had twenty-four units.” Chevonne paused, looking at the faces of her charges.
“If you listen to one piece of advice from me take this one, do not take more than three classes your first quarter and make sure they are from different fields. It is way too easy to fall behind here; they weren’t joking up there when saying you basically start behind in classes, but it is worth it.”
A beeping sound went off from Chevonne’s bag. She reached into a pocket moving stuff around and the sound stopped. “It’s almost four and time to talk about a really fun event. A short exploration of the nearby Westwood Village and the donation of an item to go into a gift basket that will be sent to Mattel Children’s Hospital which is part of the UCLA Medical Center. Now this is completely optional, but I highly suggest it. Your gift can help comfort a child staying in the hospital.”
“Who would like to pitch in?” Looking down at some papers covering her lap, eyes focused on her watch.
Chevonne raised her head, expression clear, eyes raised in surprise.
Stormy looked around to see three hands in the air along with his hoof.
Definitely read like one of my college orientations
4912186 Is that a good thing or a bad thing
4912220 It was done "realistically"
Take it as something in the "well written" direction
4912220
Its a little bit bad, but not too hard to fix.
I think Stormy needs a little more involvement in the story. even if it just his thoughts or asking some questions (to himself or of his new friends).
Some suggestions
-As a said above, stormy needs to react to things... thoughts would be a good start. he could ask is new friends questions if hes too shy or intimidated to ask the speakers or strangers.
if its not within Stormy's personality to act then you could have the other ponies ask the questions. like with sunny, she could ask some follow up questions. such as about the campus rules for flying... Im sure that not everypony is 100% informed on all human related things.
-The humans need to acknowledge the ponies existence more. I'm getting this surreal feeling that the humans are not noticing them... I know they did a bit past chapters but humanity is overlooking them way to much. I get that its been years since first contact, but there would be a lot of double-takes, some staring, a few smiles, some friendly waves, sneers of disgust, looks of discomfort or fear. a old religious lady clutching her cross, some conservative guy looking at the pony with suspension, anything really. Whether the reactions are positive or negative, it doesn't mater they just need to act like the ponies exist. That bus ride would have been perfect for some mildly friendly and curious human to strike up a conversation.
-None of the speakers mentioned the ponies in the room... (unless I over looked it in past chapters, still these orientations are all about repetition.)
Zero mention of new campus rules and regulations that might have been put in place with the addition of the flying pegasi, spell slinging unicorns, or sturdy-strong earth ponies.
No mention of a place for some more specific pony-based assistance (say for medicine for estrus season, pony biased afflictions, general medical assistance for their pony students. Other things i could think off later but this post is getting to long...)
There wasn't any sort of enthusiasm for "We have some MORE ponies coming to school this term! isn't that great?! go UCLA! lets give them a round of applause.'' (I could see this happening, a NEW race of creature being at any school would be 1000 pounds of Gold for ads involving how inclusive and open-minded their campus is, even if its been years since first contact.)
-Now I can understand if the Organizers wouldn't want to single them out in the crowd... but it feels like their being totally ignored.
End of Seggestions
I really like the idea, so keep going... just seems to me there a few small things overlooked that add up to some oddness.
if you can address them, then I feel the story might be better for it.
The word you want is "sight."
4912734 A few??? Will solve these in order.
Yes, he is passive. He really is, but that's the character type I was aiming for. He was just puttering along, things happen to him. Don't know if you are familiar with a story called "The Stranger" or not. But this is also meant to be how he comes out of his metaphorical shell. So many people I ran into, especially freshmen from overseas fell into this category.
Yes, i should go into rules, something I touched on slightly but should cover more thoroughly. But that would also be the special meeting reserved just for ponies/griffins/zebras/whateverelse that covers special requirements.
Yes, people are ignoring and or not noticing them, but at something like this people tend to be on their best behaviour and peer pressure not to be an ass kicks in, it does stop. This was partially for the character's sake as he is the type to be deterred or more withdrawn, only so many troubles at a time. I did say I would bring up racists. Or maybe Stormy just isn't noticing them. Or maybe the author got too familiar with the character, who knows.
And yeah, the diversity bit, should have thrown that in some more. That really is my fault, but only so much I can do alone. Usually don't edit once something is posted, may have to change that in this case. But it also doesn't seem to fit singling out 8/1200 students in a crowd like that. These large groups are meant to cover everyone with no individual attention, that's for others to cover.
And no, that campus is not as open minded as it seems, not by a long shot, and I have no intention of making it as such.
Guess the next chapter gets delayed while I think.
And thank you. Don't get enough feedback, let alone the constructive kind.
Another interesting difference, at my school you are actively discouraged from choosing a major until sophomore year.
4912874 Fixed
4912961 Really? How does that work?
4912983
They encourage you to take as many different classes as possible so that you can find out what you want to do. If you try to declare before then your adviser discourages you. You can, it is just kind of weird. I think it is very common for people to start at my school without any idea of what they want to major in.
4912889
Yes, he is passive. He really is, but that's the character type I was aiming for. He was just puttering along, things happen to him. Don't know if you are familiar with a story called "The Stranger" or not. But this is also meant to be how he comes out of his metaphorical shell. So many people I ran into, especially freshmen from overseas fell into this category.
Not familiar with that story but I think I get what your going for.
Yes, i should go into rules, something I touched on slightly but should cover more thoroughly. But that would also be the special meeting reserved just for ponies/griffins/zebras/whateverelse that covers special requirements.
I must have missed where it was mentioned in previous chapters then. (I easily could have, I read way to much...)
but if not... you might want add that in near the end of this chapter
Yes, people are ignoring and or not noticing them, but at something like this people tend to be on their best behavior and peer pressure not to be an ass kicks in, it does stop. This was partially for the character's sake as he is the type to be deterred or more withdrawn, only so many troubles at a time. I did say I would bring up racists. Or maybe Stormy just isn't noticing them. Or maybe the author got too familiar with the character, who knows.
I didn't consider that the people going to orientation might be on their best behavior for their own sake... its a very good point.
just keep in mind that while you might be writing the story about the character, unless that character is god, then the world's not likely going to work in their favor... Nothing big has to happen per-say, but a whispered comment or mean stare would go a long way for at least hinting not all good. You could even subvert it with a encouraging smile from a new friend or something soon after.
And yeah, the diversity bit, should have thrown that in some more. That really is my fault, but only so much I can do alone. Usually don't edit once something is posted, may have to change that in this case. But it also doesn't seem to fit singling out 8/12000 students in a crowd like that. These large groups are meant to cover everyone with no individual attention, that's for others to cover.
I get your point, and I thought that could be the case... so, no biggy.
And no, that campus is not as open minded as it seems, not by a long shot, and I have no intention of making it as such.
Good
Guess the next chapter gets delayed while I think.
Need help? I not good with spelling or grammar (beyond opening up dictionary.com in a separate window)
but if just want another pair of eyes and a brain to look it over and add their two cents before posting, I could do that. I have the time and its much easier then writing my own stuff...
And thank you. Don't get enough feedback, let alone the constructive kind.
NP
4913032 WOW! That is different. Nah, with unit caps you have to watch how many 'just for fun' classes you can even take, and I have yet to meet a freshman without a declared major, but a few that have changed. That is why I love JC (CC), now I'm curious how much of a California thing it is.
4913046 May take you up on that, and word processor catches most spelling errors, it just misses homonyms. In other chapters there are sneers and such, just not much yet, but not much has happened as its still the first day of orientation. Second day is when things can start to fall apart as you get more in-tuned with the environment. And yes, freshmen really have three days of orientation, this is all based off a friend's orientation pamphlet except where story dictates deviations.
4913046 I went back through, have several chapters finished, and I honestly couldn't work anything else in. Have some stuff set up but he is just not a clever pony. And without him noticing things, they can't really be put in. I don't include something I don't think can fit. I did make one adjustment to the special workshop, but that's.
My style tends to be slow-burn, its more about the gradual increase than the instant. Rest assured, it will be hit on.
Good chapter, but it clearly highlights why I didn't bother with college, and went to Technical School instead...
Hello Celestia, fancy seeing you here...
6904742 That was exactly my first thought upon seeing the description and name combination.
Not exactly subtle.
Sunny Skies- white Pegasus with regal bearing.. where have I heard that befor- oh right its Princess Sunbutts 'civilian disguise'