Trixie: Equestria's favourite serial killer.

Liked the story. There was an error I spotted:

“Don’t beat yourself up honey, I’m sure she tries hard” she said.

should have a full stop there.

As for characterisation... I thought you could have gone into more depth with Trixie's thoughts as she tortured her victim. This is her first kill, so it's likely that she's still working the disgust, morbid curiosity, fear and shame out of her system as she's cutting into him.

2722797
Thanks. Almost a thought experiment of sorts, only with Trixie as a serial killer, to see if anyone likes it. So all grammar catches are much appreciated.

Two stories in one day?

I wondered why you always ignore us in Skype...

~Skeeter The Lurker

It's good. I don't think you could put a bit in a horses mouth and have it go behind the last molars. You did get the frog/hoof anatomy correct, however.

2723168
Even if she jammed it in really forcefully? I suppose I should go back to biology class and try to get a better grade now :(

2722850
I ignore you on skype because video games. I wasn't sure of my three new stories which ones to focus on. So far, Dash is in the lead. I need to get my CMC Serial Killer idea out there, and my Ultra-Dark Parasprite™ story idea out there too. I just can't stop writing.

2723201

Horse molars are really far back:

localriding.com/image-files/horse-teeth-male.gif

Properly positioned a bit is going to fit just in front of the premolars, which is actually illustrated fairly well in that image. I think you'd need a knife to get a bit behind the molars - which could work in this story, I suppose. But it's not like trying to put a bit in a human mouth, where I think you could get it behind the molars if you pushed hard enough. Of course, one could argue that ponies in MLP have more human than equine faces, so maybe it would work...

Oh, and if you're interested in equine dentistry, this following google image search is useful:

Float horse teeth

Here are some selected images:

localriding.com/image-files/horse-teeth-manual.jpg
capitolequine.com/images/equinedentistry2.jpg

This suggests a possible Forced Pony Sex chapter - Big Mac (or whomever) visits a horse dentist - such people do exist.

In appearance to the show the females have much smaller mouths than stallions, which are a bit more elongated, so I'd guess it would only work on mares, because the stallions appear to be closer to horse anatomy... That is if you take into account what these other commenters have said previously.

2723838
I'd claim creative liberty or some other made up author term, but 2723260 is right about horses. Then again, female horses are incapable of orgasm, which pretty much invalidates rule 34.

So, either I can jam bits in their magical mouths because I like the imagery, or I have to accept all those ponies in rule 34 photos aren't enjoying themselves.

Why is life so ironic?

its pretty good ould get into this
also is it me or are your stories getting darker and darker
anyway want to see wat happens next plz more

2724058
What? Darker and darker? Nonsense! The rest of the fandom is just getting lighter and lighter!

You know Tia...in our world we DO have little things called libel laws. Granted, they don't always work, but it's better than sitting on your royal solar plot until freedom of the press is abused so badly that this happens!

is it bad that that torture scene made me love trixie just a bit more? I mean, thats a side i'd like to see explored a bit more
The Turnabout Storm story suggests a darker trixie side, and so far, I've seen maybe one. it wasn't this fun or exciting. but this was like, law abiding citizen style, just so realistic and cool! you've peaked my interest! following for sure

What I'm wondering, is "Equestrian News" a homage to a certain website we all know and love?

Well, there were a few grammatical mistakes here and there, but as you've requested I won't comment on them. *Scrolls down the comments* Okay, apparently you do want to be notified about them. Well, you could start by changing the misleading the author's notes.

"attempts of one Trixie Lulamoon", what's the 'one' doing here? Maybe it's reporter's slang, but I've never heard of such wording.
"Quietly, she levitated the the leather", two 'the's.
"Quick screamed when a knife hit it’s mark", should be its without an apostrophe.
To top it of: "Jessica Lynch: ....sounds familiar...I"m guessing that was intentional". I don't even know what the point of that sentence is, but apart from that it needs an overhaul.
There were some unnecessary word repetitions, but listing them all is probably not going to be worth it.

Since you guys are already on the subject of analyzing horse anatomy:
"to the point the nail had split", horses have nails? I think what you mean is coffin bone. :P

About the story:
What I find interesting, despite having not really anything funny about it (almost making me wonder about that Comedy tag), it still made me laugh. I'm not sure why, but probably because of the exaggerated newspaper headliners. Totally lost it at "Cheerilee Caught Molesting Filly!".

It's a little weird that, despite all her humiliation, Trixie still has the guts to refer to herself in third person, even towards Joe. Shouldn't she be a wreck? Or is it her last desperate attempt to not lose connection to her self-conscious altogether?

About the killing, I'm not sure what you're trying to achieve. Disgust towards the reader? In that case you've easily lost against the mainstream grimdark stories out there, for the detail in which you've described the torture could still be expanded. Except for one thing: ripping out his feather and using the blood in his mouth as ink. I don't know what you were smoking to come up with something like this, but be sure to drop a message for me to a web shop for it. That's some crazy shit right there, man.

Definitely needs a little bit of overhaul, but I do love where this is headed to already. Looking forward to it!

That Fluttershy is euthanizing sick fillies in the Ponyville cancer ward?

That aside, I'll like and follow because the concept is interesting, but what happened to libel laws? Every single excerpt from this newspaper that you've shown us would get that paper sued to high heaven. And yes, there are some grammatical issues. I'd be more than happy to be a pre-reader for this one as well if you'd like, as well as Twi's Dollhouse 2. If you take this in the right direction, it can be good. I look forward to more at any rate!

2725246
Sounds good to me, I could use an experienced serial killer to help me systematically kill every pony at every news organization across Equestria. Also, I'm sure nopony believes any of that Fluttershy nonsense.

If there were libel laws, I wouldn't get to kill ponies. Maybe you can help me dodge that bullet.

2725203
Thanks, I only had that in the A/N because I had this story sitting in my "brainstorming" folder for awhile and thought I'd decide if I write more in a trial by fire. I suppose the comedy is mostly going to be in the news articles, and possibly, the ironic ways Trixie kills ponies. I'm sure she'll get better at it, too.

Wow, I imported a comment. No wonder everyone hated this story.

2724967
Cititzen Kane meets Judge Dread meets Killer Rarity.... Trixie is best psychotic unicorn. Wait, BW is onto me! RUN!

2724546
I suppose I should have called it "Trixie Gets Libeled for the Last Time." I'll see if I can salvage Equestria's laws in time to save some of the ponies.

ya know I actually support trixie's choices here. there freedom of press and then there's destroying lives with lies. perhaps killing a reporter was extreme but after a few get there tongues removed and mailed to the newspaper they will get the point. report news not BS. maybe she send them a letter with the tongue that for everyday the paper reports lies another reporter will die. that or just burn it down with everyone locked inside hehe

2725505 Seeing how this is you, Kaidan, I can only expect for the ending to horrifying and depressing. I cannot wait.

I'm sifting through my to-read stories. This is by first one tonight.

Holy. Crap.

I can feel the love tonight, fo sho. Yes, I am waaaaaay tired.

2733492
Oddly enough, without co-workers I really want to murder, this is a lot harder to write. Maybe I'll have a bad day agian, but it's time to go home.

Wait, what? I have another hour here? There shall be blood!

2749842
Kaidan. He's everywhere you want to be.

That's why I like writing a random assortment of genres :D

Short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short short please

It would be intresting if trixie's second voice was a remnant of the alicorn amulet but shared trixie's soul and body like a living conscience or something.