• Published 9th Jun 2013
  • 2,340 Views, 103 Comments

Equestria Noir Case 23 "Mad Doctor" - Jacoboby1

Private travels to a strange asylum in search of a missing pony. What he finds is a madhouse filled with all sorts of horrors the likes of which he's never seen. But one madpony in a box has...

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Chapter 3 "The Captain and the Rooms"

Chapter 3

“The Captain and the Rooms”

“You’re a captain?” I asked, looking at the pegasus as he holstered his blaster.

“In a way, yes,” he replied. “I’m a time agent. I came because I heard about ponies going missing around here.”

“A time agent?” I asked skeptically. It certainly wasn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. After moving statues, weevils, and pony eating shadows, time agents don’t seem so far-fetched anymore.

“Yeah,” he said, and then smiled in a way that reminded me of Raiden all too well. “So, what’s a guy like you doing in a place like this?”

Okay, I’m starting to feel a little uncomfortable with the way he’s looking at me. He did save my hide though so I guess he deserved an explanation. I told him who I was looking for, but left out Doctor Stable’s involvement. Then another question occurred to me. “Wait, you said ponies, as in plural?” I asked.

He nodded and explained, “Your friend isn’t the only one who up and vanished. This has been going on for nearly three years, different ponies being sent here, and they are never heard from again.”

“Were they all mental patients?” I asked.

“Well, yeah,” he replied, looking at a strange watch on his front leg. “Twelve victims so far, your friend Screw Loose would be the thirteenth.”

“Why would anypony be sent here in the first place?” I asked, looking around. “This place is filled with nothing but monsters and freaks. How the Doctor manages to deal with them I’ll never know,” I said putting a hoof on my head and sighing.

“Wait,” he said as his eyes grew wide. “You’re friends with the Doctor?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said, looking at him suspiciously. “How do you know him?”

“I may or may not have helped him save an entire galaxy several times,” he bragged, flashing me an arrogant smile.

“You’re a companion too?” I asked, my jaw dropping.

“Yep,” he replied, and then pulled out a wallet. “Here’s my I.D.”

I looked at the I.D. and frowned. “This is Psychic paper isn’t it?”

How’d you guess?” Jack asked, looking crestfallen.

“First of all, I doubt the Doctor would hand out I.Ds for his companions. Secondly, this paper makes reference to your um… length,” I said, tossing the I.D. back at him.

He caught it and laughed a little. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

“Okay, now that introductions are over, time to get out of here.” I looked around the room. It looked like we came out in some kind of storage area. Large boxes filled with old yellowed medical records were piled up gathering dust. I saw a door over on the wall and pulled out blackbird.

“Alright,” I said looking back at him, “this place changes no matter which door we open, so be ready for anything.”

He smirked. “It’s hard to be ready for anything when the Doctor and I are involved.”

I opened the door with my magic and saw it led us into another hallway. Jack followed and hovered, looking the other way. “Okay, looks like the coast is clear, no sign of any monsters, yet.”

“We need to find the Doctor,” I said, “Then we find Ditzy and Screw Loose and get outta here.”

We walked down the hallways a bit. The only sound was the sound of my hooves on the floor. Jack was looking around; I could tell he had at least a bit of military training. He seemed to focus on everything. The walls, the doors, the corners, my fla- wait what!?

“Will you cut that out!” I cried, glaring at him.

“Sorry can’t help it” He said, flying upside down and putting his front hooves behind his head. “I see a fine piece and I can’t help but look and say hello”

I rolled my eyes, okay, this guy reminded me way too much of Raiden, only Raiden’s straight.

We rounded a corner saw a strange sight. There was a door, but instead of having a number it had a name on the plate.

Amy Pond

I slowly opened the door and saw a sad sight. I was in a filly’s room, a vanity, all the dolls, and stuffed animals told me that. I noticed on the walls…were pictures of the Tardis.

When I looked towards the window I noticed a little filly sitting there. Her coat was yellow and her mane long and red. A cutie mark of an apple with a smiling face on it was on her flank. She couldn’t have been older than six or seven. She stared out at the night sky, seeming not to have noticed I came in.

Jack was standing in the hallway, for once he was silent and simply looked at the filly.

I walked over to the little filly as she stared at the stars of a strange night sky. But how could it be night? It was morning when I came to this place. I spoke gently, “Hello there.”

She looked at me with pretty green eyes and then turned back to looking at the stars. After about a minute I spoke again “Your name is Amy, right?”

She nodded, her eyes still focused out at the stars.

“What are you looking for?” I asked, coming to sit beside her.

“The Raggedy Doctor,” she replied. I could hear a Lyrish accent in her voice. “He’s gonna come back.”

“You know the Doctor?” I asked, looking at the filly. Just how young did the Doctor recruit companions?

“Uh huh,” she said with a nod. “He’s gonna come back and take me in his magic blue box to see a bunch of different places.”

“How long have you waited?” I asked, a little concerned.

“Two weeks” She said, her eyes still on the stars.

“You’ve been waiting on him for two weeks?” I said, surprised. “Don’t you have school to worry about? Dolls? Games of tag? Colts?”

“Roary’s okay,” she said, and then tilted her head. “He really acts weird though, I think he likes boys. Anyway, I’m gonna meet the Doctor real soon.”

I was amazed at such simple faith this filly had. I was friends with the Doctor too, but I don’t know if I would’ve waited for this long just to travel with him. The real question was why did it come here? Why this filly specifically?

How long did she still have to wait?

“I hope you get to meet him,” I said comfortingly.

“Hope.” She smiled and looked at me. “Such an odd word.”

I raised an eyebrow, but she simply turned back to the stars. I walked back into the hallway, closing the door gently behind me. Jack’s expression was a little sullen.

“You know her?” I asked, giving him a look.

He was quiet for a minute and then answered, “I’ve heard of her, the girl who waited. She was a companion to the doctor after mine.”

“How long did she wait?” I asked suspiciously.

He didn’t answer.

“How long, Jack!” I demanded.

He was quiet for a long time, before finally sighing and saying, “I heard from a friend of a friend about it. She waited for fourteen years before the Doctor came back.”

“Fourteen years” I looked back and looked at the name plate on the wall. Just, how was this even possible? Was there some sort of pocket dimension in this hospital? Was it just a memory?

Still, to wait that long for her “Raggedy Doctor”, that was amazing, but also sad. Poor Amy, having to wait so many years to see her friend. Still, what was a room like that doing in here?

“Let’s go,” Jack said, walking away. I followed him and our walk continued in almost total silence. As we went on, I didn’t know what to think about all this. I thought my problems were huge, but I guess mom’s old saying holds true.

“Before you can understand your own problems, walk a mile in another pony’s hooves. Then you will see how small your problems really are.”

We rounded another corner and opened a set of double doors leading to another hallway. This one wasn’t unoccupied.

“A trash can?” I asked, as I looked at the inhabitant.

That was basically how my mind could describe it. On its head was an eye stalk at with two lights coming out of its head. It had all these bumps along the sides of it’s body leading down to a flat bottom. It had two arms coming out of its armored shell, one that was like as if somebody stuck a plunger into its base. The other was a short cylindrical gun like arm.

It was honestly the silliest looking thing I’ve ever seen.

I looked over at Jack and he looked like his blood just turned cold. I looked back at the trashcan and it spoke, “YOU ARE NOT A DA-LICK!!” Its head lights flashed as it spoke. It was as if it was shouting, but it was putting emphasis on the Da. Wait, didn't the doctor mention Daleks before?

“Private, we gotta go,” Jack said, taking a step back.

“It’s just a freaking trashcan,” I said, rolling my eyes. “What can it do?”

“Don’t let appearances fool you,” He glared at the Dalek “Just one of these things could wipe out an entire army.”

“By what?” I pointed to one of its arms “Using its plunger of doom?”


“Listen here; you overstuffed tin can,” I yelled at it, “I've faced down monsters a lot scarier than you are! Now step aside!“

“DALEKS DO NOT STEP, EQUINE!” It moved it’s tiny arm and shot a laser at my hooves. It missed but it still caused me to jump back.

“Okay, maybe your argument holds some merit,” I said, looking over at Jack.

“Shall we run for our lives?” he asked.

“Oh yes, let’s!” With that we bolted back down where we came, passing Amy’s room as the Dalek moved towards us.

It fired Lasers at us shouting, “EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!!”

I dodged and weaved my way around the lasers as we ran. I looked at Jack and cried, “Tell me that thing has a weakness!”

“You wouldn’t happen to have a dinosaur, freeze ray, or bazooka in that trench coat would you?” Jack asked, I couldn’t tell if he was serious or just being a smart ass.

“No, but what about that blaster of yours?” I asked, dodging yet another Dalek beam.

“It needs time to recharge!” he said, dodging his own laser. “We’ll just dive into another room.”

We rounded another corner, only to find another Dalek there. It shouted, “EXTERMINATE!” Then it aimed its laser arm at me.

It fired and Jack leaped into its path. I watched in horror as Jack stiffened and fell to the ground in a heap. I pulled out Blackbird and fired at the tin can. The bullets bounced harmlessly off the armor. The Dalek from before joined its friend and left Jack on the floor like a lifeless doll. I backed into a wall as they approached.

“EQUINE CREATURE WILL TELL US WHERE WE ARE!” they ordered in unison.

I tilted my head, “You mean you guys don’t know where you are?” I asked, a little confused.


“How should I know where you are?” I asked, not wanting to go down without a few jabs. “For the most dangerous species in the galaxy you guys certainly are dense.”


“What? Overgrown tin cans with plungers for weapons?” I asked, using insults to hide the fact I was scared to death.

Then, I saw something happen.

I looked and saw Jack stood up behind the Daleks. He was perfectly fine! How was that even possible? He gave me a look and mouthed, “Stall.”

I didn’t move and simply said, “So you guys are the toughest race in the galaxy?”


“That’s another thing, if you guys are so superior to all species, then which one of you is the most superior?” I asked, wanting to give them something else to talk about.

“DALEKS ARE ALL SUPERIOR!!” the first Dalek shouted.

“Really?” I looked at the second Dalek. “He’s the one who killed my partner.” I then turned to the first Dalek and observed, “You just missed all the time.”

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!” The first Dalek said, turning its eyestalk towards it’s partner.



They argued for a moment then I saw Jack coming with a fire ax in his mouth. He began pouring something on the blade from a bottle he had.

I interrupted the argument with, “So, you both think you’re so superior?” Their eyestalks turned to me. “I should warn you, my friend is not going to be happy if he finds out what you did”

“NOBODY CAN SLAY DALEKS!” the second Dalek shouted.

“Not even…” I paused for dramatic effect, “The Doctor?”

They moved back about an inch at the name. Their eye stalks moved left and right. The first one spoke, “HE SPEAKS OF THE ONCOMING STORM!”

“Two of the most members of the most feared race in the galaxy afraid of a pony obsessed with bow ties? What a laugh,” I said with a smirk.

“YOU WILL NOT FIND YOUR DEATH HUMOROUS, EQUINE!” The first one aimed his gun at me, and then Jack leapt from behind and slammed the ax into the back of the Dalek. The tin can screamed and spun its cylinder head in pain. The other Dalek tried to retaliate but Jack swung the ax down on the eye stalk, severing it. That ax could cut through Dalek armor?

He looked at me and cried, “Now run!”

We both ran and opened another set of double doors as the Daleks kept screaming. Jack and I dived through. I slammed the doors shut behind me and let out a breath. I looked at Jack and said, “I thought you died!”

“I did, kind of,” Jack said, rubbing the back of his head.

“Then how?” I said, looking at him, he didn’t die when he got hit. Either the Daleks have the worst death rays ever, or something else was going on.

“Long story short, I can’t die,” he explained, opening his hooves.

“You know normally I would question that,” I said with a sigh. “After tin cans and shadows trying to kill me, though, I think I’ll just go with it.” Then I asked, “What was with the stuff you poured on the ax?”

“This?” he said, holding up a small bottle. “Cherdine Acid, comes from a species that tried to create a race that could eat Daleks. Didn’t work out as the Daleks wiped out the species before it could get anywhere. However, their saliva can make any weapon able to cut through Dalek armor.”

I then looked up, and saw another door with a name plate on it. This one read…

Rose Tyler

I looked at Jack and he was quiet again.

I opened the door… and found myself on a beach?

I walked out onto it and saw I was in some kind of cove. I looked back at the door and saw it was only a door leading to nowhere. I smelled the salt in the air and saw another sad sight. There was a mare sitting on the sand, looking out at the ocean. She was pink, with a long blond mane that came down her side. She looked about the same age as Sparkler, maybe a little older.

She had her head bowed and pawed the sand with a hoof. She looked up at the ocean as the wind blew her mane gently. I spoke up, “Miss?”

She looked over at me, and spoke in a Trottingham accent “Oh, I thought everybody had left.”

“Left?” I asked, looking at her “What are you talking about?”

“Sorry. I just thought you might’ve known him too.”

I took a wild guess and asked, “The Doctor?”

She nodded and looked back at me with brown eyes. “He had to go, he left me here.”

I looked around at the deserted beach and asked, “Why?”

“Because I screwed up,” she said, looking down again “Maybe if I had left well enough alone, we wouldn’t be in this mess. I’d be home, mum wouldn’t have been killed, Jack…” She put a hoof on her face.

I walked to her and said, “I don’t know all that’s happened, but I don’t think you should blame yourself.”

She looked at me and replied “If I had just listened to him, though, we’d still be together…”

Sounds like she was as close to the Doctor as this Amy girl was. I decided to give as much comfort as I could. “I don’t think he’d want you to sulk on the beach like this. I know it’s going to be hard being apart from him. As long as we hold our friends in our minds and hearts they are never truly gone, right?”

She turned to me and slowly smiled. “Change can be a scary thing, can’t it?” she asked.

I tilted my head at the unusual response. Then I said, “What do you mean?”

“You’re about to get a big change, Private,” she said, walking away.

“Wait, hold on!” I shouted as she walked away. “What are you talking about?”

“I’ve seen what could happen, Private, when the Tardis and I were one,” she said cryptically. “You’re in for a big change coming up. Can you face it like you told me to face mine?”

With that I felt a strong wind tugging me back towards the door. I tried to yell but the wind was too loud and I fell back inside the hospital. The door then slammed shut behind me. I groaned as Jack picked me up. “You alright? What happened?”

“I think I met another companion,” I said, shaking my head. “She knew my name, and something that was going to happen. Her name was Rose, I think.”

Jack smiled and said, “Ah, good old Rose Tyler. Gotta love that girl.”

“You do realize she’s at least half your age,” I said flatly. “Besides, I thought you rode sidesaddle.”

“Is there a law that says I can’t appreciate every wonderful thing in the universe?” Jack asked with a small laugh.

Note to self, keep this bastard away from any kids I have with Twilight.

I reloaded Blackbird and we both made our way towards another door. “Alright, keep your hooves crossed that this is a good door,” I said.

Jack nodded and held the ax in his hooves. Holding Blackbird aloft in my magic, I opened the door...

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