A sixteen year old kid is hunted and shot, left for dead in a forest next to a small town, when suddenly six young, beautiful girls appear from nowhere and helps him. Now he awakes in a strange land, surrounded by anthropomorphized ponies. OC HiE.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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... damn ... just damn ... thats harsh
4594339
I'm honestly stuck on where to go now. Should this be the ending and an epilogue finishes off the story? Should I push it some odd amount of years into the future, where Daniel is all better? Or should he become disabled, with the way his body was left, to forever be crippled? I don't know what to do... I wanted to make this a lot longer, but I fear I may have pushed this a lot quicker than I should have. I didn't want to end it like this. I just let my mind roam while I was writing and this is what I came up with.
4594354 The guy surfered too much, make him get better... Still keeping the powers through, you never know
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
4594354 how about have him be stabilized in the hospital, before slowly yet gradually working his body back into shape through biomass that he is brought by doctors/nurses/the princesses/the elements of harmony/whatever - however, while having him be purified of his discording, still have him hold a large* grudge against the princesses for having them use tge EoH, and being weary of all 6 bearers for the damage they inadvertantly caused? That way he could live, the story could continue, and the plot could intensify?
(* an unspeakably large understatement shown on an unprecidented scale)
4595306
That... seems like a good idea... I want to have a solid idea that I can build off of immediately, and can end reasonably easy with a way to start just as easy. Having him hating the Princesses and the EoH will just lead to him either being driven out of the country, or to border towns. There, he can start a rebellion, overrun the throne, and Discord takes over the world once again. Except the EoH is either dead or imprisoned, the princesses are banished or imprisoned, and he has to fight by himself. Normal human weapons don't work against Discord, but his powers will. Hmm... That seems like something I can build on...
4594354
you know their are guards right their he just uses his powers to capture them and absorb their bio-mass into his body also check this out from prototype 1encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQtZEVw1FuN6avtMDhX6jUVjTa-ZzWbUk9rGFbLFFOj5Owpu3KA
4595441
I would've used a combination of the Daedra Armor from Elder Scrolls Oblivion, and whatever weapon I can imagine, but that works as well.
4595448
that armor is literally bio-mass and is what made me love prototype in both 1 and 2
still on the page though, while in agony Daniel uses tendrils to secure the guards in his grasp and begins to break them down molecule by molecule and that regenerates his body, this is where it splits into two
1. since absorbing a high-class guard he received information on where to locate a key to tuataras, which he then he goes im not sure how to continue from their
2. He then keeps the chance out of their shock he begins to run away as far as he can, still being followed by the two parties though and is declared as an enemy of equestria and that could lead him to rebellion not really to conquer but maybe to show that he has power over the princesses I don't know but either way don't end it off right here
4595488
Hmm... Well, I can probably write it where he's recovering, and the tendrils attack a few guards set to guard him, the biomass heals him, and he escapes without anything in his possession. No armor, weapons, pocket dimension thing, or anything. Just his biomass. They try to negotiate with him, then they try to capture him alive, then they try to capture him, and finally, they name him as an enemy of the crown, with a plan to try and capture him and try and make amends with him.
4595498
only to realize that Daniel is a living time bomb
4595510
How so? Will he explode like Alex Mercer did in the end of Prototype 2, or literally explode into biomass?
4595514
well yeah you see if Daniel absorbs to much bio-mass sadly a body has limitations to which he can only store so much he has to use bio-mass by changing form, using bio-weapons, using night vision or hunter vision, just sprinting it off or it all empties out in one way which then he explodes out into multiple tendrils emptying out killing whatever is nearby and getting a more balanced amount of mass back
by this way twas Heller who exploded and ate an entire city worth of infected after killing mercer and absorbing his bio-mass along with the other prototypes inside him but im talking on a smaller scale with daniel
4595525
Hmm... Interesting...
4595529
yes I know my anatomy very well its kinda like when your fat you have to exercise or you die if you keep getting fatter but in this case instead of Daniel killing an entire city how about just a living room's length sprout out we don't want him killing everything because that would stop it dead right their unless you want to do it in a griffin country maybe because they might have well....captured him to study his body against his will remember only a city though
The way you're planning to do with the story from now on, in the comments, seems too messy and too dark. Nevermind that the story has gone off the rails already, but seriously having him turn villain (especially if temporary) after this is pretty bad in my book if he's meant to be good or an anti-hero or normal/neutral. Then again it's basically my reaction to the story's change in flavor and it's affecting my taste of it so my opinion shouldn't really matter that much. I'll tell you right now that I'll most likely just stop reading if he's meant to be full villain after this fiasco.
My idea was initially that the virus realized that the Elements of Harmony were purging him and so it hurried ahead and tried to merge with Daniel's body as fast as possible so the beam could take him out with him just to spite the girls. But unfortunately for the virus it ended up being wiped out anyway when it tried to fix Daniel's body believing that it had won in the end only to be converted into healing energy for Daniel by residual magic of the Elements of Harmony. When Daniel wakes up he finds out about what happens to him from Twilight and it appears that she was the only one to keep visiting him after everyone else's first visit as his body finishes healing (although he keeps the tactical and maneuverability skills he learned from other adventure there). The reason that happened is because of Daniel's depressed and (subdued) pissed off attitude about everything that has happened got everyone else on edge and believing he needed space. Twilight decides to visit him every other couple days or so believing in moderation to wait for his body and mind to heal after the ordeals of those events after this, especially when he goes through body therapy as his body won't be working right after such a recovery. Not to mention she does this because she believes Daniel should open up a bit more She occasionally visits with either Rarity, Applejack. or Rainbow Dash or all three in those visits. Just before the last two days of his therapy, Daniel and Twilight actually ended up getting into an argument concerning the attitudes of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie especially when he was about to ask them for marriage before all of this happened and it turned out to be the same day when Fluttershy and Pinkie worked up the courage to visit him today and overheard them. Now this is when one of these things happen: Both the girls try to confront Daniel about their resolve to fix these problems and issues immediately, one of the girls confronts him while the other leaves because the latter felt devastated about their reaction to him when his blades appear, both girls leave for the same reason and decides to confront him the next day or when he gets out.
After that drama is sorted out, there's a bunch of other stuff involving the return of the griffons or somepony trying to use the left over Prototype stuff from Daniel to experiment on. Or both at once and the news about those two events was delivered to the characters by that griffon he saved.
4596701
Your insight is welcome, and the idea is welcome as well. The reason why I'm going with the story as it is, is because I've recently been having neurological and psychological disorders, and I've not been able to think a lot on my own. The voices in my head are very useful, for ideas and conversation, and also blocking out all of the annoying real life people. I mostly joke around about stuff like that because everyone knows I'm joking around. It's like racist jokes. Everyone knows you're not racist, but you're telling racist jokes just because they're funny. *shrugs* Plus, I find the conversations that I hold with my followers funny and entertaining. I might take a few things out of a really dark idea, but I MIGHT use the idea. I don't want the story turning into a psychological thriller/horror thing. At first, it was a small side project. Now, it's really all I have to do in my life that deals with any sort of literature. Plus, hitting writers block was what came to the one year or so hiatus that gave me time to rebuild my life, then have it destroyed around me by others. *shrugs again* Really, all I have left in my life is my laptop, my apartment, and my last few years of school. Summer cuts out school, so I just dick around on my computer until I feel tired and I go to sleep.
4596769
I think you really should have just tried to go to bed earlier. I think it might help in the long run. ^^;
4596809
The neurological problems came from a lightning strike that happened recently. The psychological problems was just the amount of death that's happened around me. Friends, family, strangers. Seeing dozens of people dying in front of you, hearing about more, just brings more stress on the mind.
4596817
I has an idea for plot progression so Daniel to weak to move any part of his body including the tendrils, is sent to the hospital and is
A. In a coma where he faces his demons and his Anti self and then soon wakes up later and heads out to try and regain trust(maybe through possible rough sex) and is tasked with a new mission that require diplomacy and or war with the griffins
B. While in a hospital bed with a guard watching him he ask him/her to come closer luring in his prey as a short tendril strikes out and begins to break him/her down and he escapes the hospital out a window with his hospital buddy next is like WTF
.......your turn
4597732
Hmm... Both seem like a good idea. I want to know everyone's idea on each of them. I wouldn't be able to decide right now.
4594354 well these people are here to help so don't worry i know you will do great
I like the first option, but the second does sound rather dark...hhhhmmmm
4598221 First option leads to more turmoil, and thus a longer, but more enticing story, so it has my vote.
The second seems to go against Daniels personality as established thus far, and would lead to a shorter, more "Malideus" like story.
It's up to you, but I vote option A, without the sex. It seems that Pinkie and Flutters wouldn't trust him right away.
4665884
I doubt Pinkie and Fluttershy would ever see him again, with how the chapter I've written so far has gone. And safe to say, that it's going to be a similar situation to 1, but without sex (mostly).
4668073 Can I give an idea to option A:
While Daniel was in his coma another human comes to Equestria but that human is an brotherhood of nod confessor think of a battle priests and Intel agent whose sole duty to uphold the brotherhood's ideals and help any and all downtrodden with their problems such as too engross into their demons and lack of faith. This man hears of Daniel and feels that he should help him by taking him to training of the ways of Nod and helping him grow up as he shows that he too lost many people he loved because what side he chose. When they return to Ponyville Daniel goes to the girls to make amends and gain revenge on those my him a prisoner of war and growing a new order of Nod as he feels that he must repay to the confessor who helped him.
that what I got and if you want to use this idea I can help you with the lore of Command & Conquer Tiberium saga or at least to Kane's Wrath as we do not talk about Tiberium Twilight.
4685452
Hmm... This gives me an evil idea. Who thinks that Daniel should get a visit from the past?
4687962 I feel super slow. What part of his past we talking about?
4689355
I just had an idea for the next few chapters. Let's just say, his past is coming back to haunt him...
4689388 calling it now it's mercer!
4689423
Maybe... Maybe not...
4690508 Well it's your choice. though it would be cool if you took idea and put it in your story I mean Dan needs human allies.
Holy sh*t! He was loved and tollerated... to death!!!
This is a comment to all of my... Fans? out there... Well, I know it's been a while since I've had any activity, through my story for the most part. The problem is that I was reading what was considered the worst fanfics ever written in MLP: FiM history, and I... may have punched a hole through my laptop... And instead of working overtime to get me another laptop, I've spent most of my time outside of work (normal hours) playing video games. Dark Souls and StarCraft is addicting to me at the moment, and only today have I gotten my new, very cheap, very shitty laptop that is so fucking slow. Anyway... I will try to get back into writing instead of distracting myself in video games. And hopefully, the first day of my new semester won't be a pain in the dick.
They're the elements of harmony, not the elements of niceness