Assist me!! Princess Luna!

by Hallowedsoul

Ch. 5: The Prancing Pink Party Pony

Help Me Out Here!!
Princess Luna!

The lights dim as the curtain rises, revealing a room regally decorated in dark blue with a large bed covered in fine silk sheets, and an elegant wooden desk set up across from it. It appears to belong to some kind of royalty.

A spotlight shines down from above on an equine-like creature with a dark blue coat, a mane and tail that flow as if being blown by a calm breeze, both of which also appear to have been taken straight out of the night sky, along with a pair of large wings on her side and a long horn on her head. The hair on her flank is black with a white crescent moon and a single white star on it and she is wearing an onyx tiara and neckpiece along with silver slippers on her hooves.

She looks straight ahead when the spotlight shines on her and smiles sweetly.

“Greetings, wayward foals.” She begins soothingly “I am known as Princess Luna; Raiser of the Moon and Ruler of Equestria alongside my sister, Princess Celestia.”

Luna glances around for a moment before returning her attention to the front.

“Though we are not physically present in Equestria at this time; we are merely projecting our bedchambers in the Royal Canterlot Castle into the dreamscape.”

As if seeing this was met with confusion, she began to pace slowly in the room in a manner one would if giving a lecture, her head turned slightly to the front.

“To assist you in understanding, ‘tis a mysterious room; a room where you can do as you please.”

She stops and faces forward.

“In all honesty, ‘tis a sanctuary for the sad, wayward foals are unable to attain their true purpose in life; ‘tis an ‘Avalon’, so to speak.”

She begins to pace back slowly toward the center with a grimace on her face.

“If you are one of those fools who believes they do not require assistance, or who only wishes to discover hidden secrets, THEN BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE!” She stated, ending with a slight exclamation in the Royal Canterlot Voice and jabbing a hoof offstage.

She sighs and faces forward again.

“Wayward foal of the night, I grant you entry.”

And with that, she trots over to the left side of the room and sits upon a cushion, facing the other side.

She waited patiently, but no pony trotted into the room from the other side. Luna glanced around in confusion briefly before giving a slight cough and turning her attention back to the other side.

"I said, 'wayward foal of the night, I grant you entry'." She called softly, with a warm smile on her face "Do not be afraid, my little pony, you are perfectly safe here."

Still nothing, so Luna stood and trotted quickly over to the other side and poked her head offstage.

"Hello?" She said, confusion in her voice "It's time for you to appear, please do not keep the audience waiting."

"Okay!" A bubbly voice chirped from behind Luna, causing her to jump straight into the air.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" She screamed in her flight, while the newcomer, a brilliantly pink pony with a poofy pink mane and tail began to roll around on the ground laughing hysterically.

After a moment, Luna landed back on her cushion, opposite of where she'd taken off from. Upon landing, she straightened her crown and breastplate, before giving a dainty cough and regarding the newcomer with a strained smile.

"W-welcome... dearest Pinkie Pie." She says calmly, though her left eye twitches slightly "'Tis... very good to... see, you again..."

"That's great, because it's great to be here, you have no idea how long I had to beg Hallowed to bring me here and it took an especially long time since he started that new story of his, but now that I'm here..." She said, her words shooting out of her mouth at a lethal velocity, before she took a deep breath... and her jubilant attitude vanished completely and her mane and tail styled themselves in a posh manner not unlike something Rarity would wear and when she spoke next, it was in an extremely cultured tone "I can finally take a moment of rest from that... atrocious personality. I hope this does not cause you any inconvenience, Your Majesty."

Luna's mouth had fallen open and her eyes threatened to break free from their sockets at how wide they were. Her mind, however, was struggling to understand just what it was she was seeing and hearing. After a moment of the two staring at each other, Luna remembered how to speak.

"Oh, um... yes, that is... quite alright, dearest Pinkie Pie." She replied in an astonished tone.

"Please, refer to me as 'Dianne' for the duration of this meeting, Your Highness. And that includes you as well, Mister Soul." Pin- I mean, Dianne, said and then sat up straight with her eyes closed and her muzzle in the air while clapping her front hooves together twice.

Two earth pony stallions rushed in, dressed like butlers, and placed a small table in front of Dianne before dashing off again and returning with a luxurious sofa, which Dianne promptly lay upon in a dignified fashion. They left once more and this time a unicorn stallion trotted calmly in, levitating a tray of tea and biscuits behind him. He unloaded the tray onto the table next to Dianne's sofa, filling one delicate tea cup with an exotic smelling tea. After preparing Dianne's tea, he turned his attention to Princess Luna.

"Would Her Majesty appreciate some tea?" He asked in a posh voice. Luna snapped out of her stupor fully and nodded regally before looking at Dianne.

"Very well, I shall call you 'Dianne' while you are here, though I ask that you just call me 'Luna'." She said with a gentle smile, though Dianne merely Spocked an eyebrow at her "I am not your Princess in this space, so we need not observe formalities."

"On the contrary, Your Majesty." Dianne replied, chuckling softly "I do not attain much opportunity to express my true nature; I doubt many of the other beep are even aware of this aspect of myself. I suppose the fault lays with me for being such an extraordinarily gifted actress. Regardless, I would appreciate your understanding my desire to observe formalities I must so often deny myself for the sake of an intriguing story."

Luna stared at Dianne carefully before nodding her assent just as the unicorn stallion finished preparing her cup. She nodded to him in appreciation, which he returned before trotting back to Dianne.

"Would My Lady require any other assistance?" He asked her, to which she put a hoof to her chin in thought.

"I do, but it is from Her Majesty that I require it." She replied, before waving her hoof dismissively "You may leave for now; I shall call for you when I am ready to depart."

"As you wish, My Lady." He replied with a deep bow. He turned to Luna and bowed again "'Tis a pleasure to serve you, Your Majesty. Please, enjoy the tea."

And with that, the unicorn left. Luna took a sip of her tea and blinked.

"This is quite good, Dianne." She said, taking another sip "Would you care to tell me where you purchased it?"

"It is called 'Pumpkin Spice Chai', a favorite of mine." Dianne replied calmly, sipping her own tea "I have this particular mixture imported from the east."

"Indeed? I believe I shall look into that when we are done here." Luna said, before setting her tea aside and adopting a business look "But let us not be distracted; you were brought here because you require advice, do you not?"

"Oh, that is quite alright, I am well aware of what I must do at any given moment." Dianne replied, with another dismissive wave of her hoof "I peruse the script ahead of time in preparation of my role. I do not require assistance, though I must express gratitude for the offer."

"Oh, um... you are most welcome... I think." Luna said, uncertain of how to proceed "If that is the case, then why are you here, Dianne?"

"To have a moment of rest from my role as the 'Element of Laughter'." Dianne replied, shrugging her shoulders "It can be rather tiresome being so energetic in every scene, but I would not be a professional if I were unable to bear the burden. That said, I do appreciate taking periods like this one to... break away from being 'Pinkie Pie' to just being 'Dianne'. My desire to address you formally, Your Majesty, is a method to remind myself of who my true personality is."

"I... see." Luna said hesitantly "But as loathe as I am to say this to you, Dianne, you cannot leave this place until you have received some form of advice from me."

"I do not mean offense, Your Highness, but those rules... do not quite apply to me." Dianne stated with a sly wink "You see, one of the many benefits of being the Element of Laughter is that I can come and go at my leisure. After all, did you not think it was odd that I appeared behind you earlier instead of entering in the traditional manner of your previous guests?"

"So then why have you not appeared before?"

Dianne sighed "That is the detriment of that particular ability; I require permission to enter into locations such as this. Normally, it is of no consequence to the beep, but in this instance Mister Soul was very reluctant to allow my presence. He only allowed me to appear under certain terms, namely omitting anything related to beeeeeep and it's beep!"

"Ah..." Luna replied, then coughed lightly "If that is the case, how long do you plan on staying, Dianne?"

"Oh, not too much longer. We must end this session soon, as my absence will be noticed in short order." Dianne said, shrugging again "After all, new ponies are arriving in Ponyville every second of every day and I have made a rather fantastic reputation for myself as the pony who throws a party for all of these new arrivals. All I wish to do at this point is finish my tea, if that is acceptable to you, Your Majesty?"

"Yes of course, that sounds most delightful." Luna replied casually and they fell into silence, broken only by the light sipping of tea and the chewing of biscuits.

Once they had both finished their tea, Dianne set her cup on the table and clapped her hooves together twice again and the unicorn stallion from before trotted calmly in, levitating his tray behind him once more. He levitated a napkin off the table, which was bright pink and embroidered with the three balloons that made Dianne's cutie mark, and dabbed lightly at Dianne's muzzle, which she held in the air in a posh manner with her eyes closed.

Once that was done, he began to levitate the china onto the tray, taking Luna's cup and offering to dab at her muzzle with a dark blue cloth embroidered with her own cutie mark, though she shook her head lightly at the offer. He did not protest and instead took the gather china with him offstage. Immediately after, the two earth pony stallions from before rushed in and took the table offstage, coming back for the sofa just as Dianne stepped lightly off of it.

"Well, it has been a delightful break from the daily grind of life, but alas, I must now return." Dianne said, bowing respectfully to Luna, who nodded in response "I do so hope we can have another one of these... tea parties, I suppose we should call it, in the near future."

"It has been a great pleasure to make your acquaintance, Dianne." Luna replied with a smile "Do take care and we should be seeing each other soon for one of our 'Dream Pranks'."

"Ah, yes, that reminds me." Dianne says, a whimsical grin on her face "Which tale would you care to use this time; Monster Hunter? Robin Hood: Men in Tights? Lost Kingdoms, perhaps? Or maybe Saints Row?"

"Let us decide that another day, Dianne, I can feel Hallowedsoul's Burning Gaze of Ire upon us."

Yes, of course, Your Majesty." Dianne said, then took a deep breath... and her mane and tail poofed out once more and Pinkie's smile dominated her face "Okie dokie lokie, Princess, see ya around! I'll be sure to bring you and Celestia some cupcakes later! I'm working on a new flavor y'know, I think it's gonna be fantabulously delicious!"

"I... look forward to it... dearest Pinkie Pie." Luna replied half-heartedly. It wasn't that Luna doubted the cupcakes would be anything but supremely delicious, it's just... they could be extremely odd combinations sometimes, plus she didn't want Tia gaining anymore weight; her sister was nearly finished working off the thousand years of cake she'd eaten in her absence.

Luna watched as the pink party pony pranced playfully offstage, when she heard a crash and her sister's voice cry out from behind her just as the curtains descended and the lights dimmed, signaling the end of the broadcast.

"By all that is holy, what did I just witness?!"

Author's Note:

Hey there, pony fans! Been sitting on this one a little while, but haven't found much time write it, with all the work I'm doing on my other story and the fact that I just got back from near back-to-back trips to Dallas (I think my back still aches, augh).

Anyway, I'll post a new segment to this one as soon as I get a good idea for it. Enjoy!

P.S. Pinkamina Dianne Pie, we're going to have a chat about all the Meta knowledge I had to remove.
"Aw, don't be that way, Hallowed! It was all in good fun, wasn't it?"

Comments

[Hallowedsoul]

I know, I know, it's been forever since I updated this one. Much as I hate to say it, this story might not receive too many updates right now, since I'm busy gettin' my other story up and online.

That said, there WILL be updates! I will not forsake this story, because it's too much fun to write.

[Dirty Bit]

This chapter made me think of Arakune's segment

[Some random Rapidash]

Stop breaking the fourth wall! And saints row?!?!?!