Nicolas Cage In Ponyville - Friendship Is Compulsory

by HelmOfDismay

Chapter 1 - Friendship is Compulsory

----Chapter 1, Friendship is Compulsory-----

Nicolas bashfully tidied his leather jacket and began sheepishly backing away from Celestia. She scowled at Nicolas like anyone who has seen Vampire’s Kiss.
“Who are you?” asked Celestia in what Nicolas interpreted as a slightly rude way – I mean he is NICOLAS FUCKING CAGE.
“Well I’m Nicolas Cage, famous actor and kind of a big deal.” ‘Sell yourself’ Nic thought.
“Oh, that strikes me as unusual,” Celestia thought aloud, “You look like some grotesque humanoid”
“Well your horn looks silly.” Nic let out his trademark fake chuckle but Celestia seemed bizarrely uncharmed.

Celestia paused in thought.
“Nicolas Cage,” she said slowly, “I’m sending you to Ponyville – once there you are to find my student Twilight Sparkle…” ‘Crikey she’s droning on!’ thought Nicolas, who nodded with the same commitment he puts into every role. When Celestia began winding down her speech to the end, Nicolas left placing his trademark sunglasses on even though it was nighttime.
He sauntered over to an earth pony that walked with a strong sense of purpose.

The pony was brown all over with a significantly darker mane, blue irises and a large hourglass printed on its flank. It had a large burlap sack on its back. Nic was about to speak when the pony brought itself up to meet Nicolas’ gaze.
“There is field energy all around you!” said Doctor Whooves.
“Is that a problem?” asked Cage.
“Very bad, very wibbly wobbly, a little timey-wimey as well, best let me handle it.” The pony motioned towards its sack (haha, on its back you utter bellend).
“WOAH!” Exclaimed Nicolas, “What is in that bag!? Huh! A shark or something!?” he said with a sudden compulsion.
“What?” said Doctor Whooves along with everyone who saw The Wicker Man. In reality, the bag contained only a small screwdriver, which the colt waved at Mr.Cage a little before leaving.

Nic felt despondent after so many people ponies failed to recognise him – so despondent in fact he failed to realise how far he had wandered out of Canterlot. Nicolas spun on the spot like a rapey ballerina; he was now in a dense deciduous forest.

Author's Note:

'Rapey Ballerina' that is all.

Comments

[Randomreader-001]

um.....pretty short chapter, and just like Nicholas Cage I'm trying to figure out what just happened.
Oh well on to the next chapter.

[Danieldoesnotsing]

Where are you taking me?!