Bonds and Fate

by Al Capony

(10) Licking wounds

Chapter 10 – Licking wounds

“Ach, FUCKING BOLLOCKS!” I exclaimed loudly, pain jolting up my arm as Twilight ‘dabbed’ a cotton ball soaked in whiskey on my wounds. And by dabbed, I mean she jammed the bloody thing as far into each cut and gash as far as it would go. To this day, I swear she did more damage than the timberwolves themselves, though I doubt she shares similar sentiments.

“Oh stop being such a foal, it doesn’t hurt that much,” replied Twilight, leaving me about to respond about her being welcome to experience it herself, but I was cut of when she added “and you really should watch your language –Applebloom’s still in the room you know.”

As the realisation dawned on me I looked up to find Applejack giving me a harsh stare. She really didn’t approve of my more colourful vocabulary.

Like I gave a –

“Fuck that noise, I’ll swear as much as I want - It hurts a damn lot, and if you want to prove me wrong you’re welcome to give it a try yourself.”

The entire room, bar Fluttershy who was absorbed in her work and Big Mac who remained unconscious, looked at me with slack jaws. Even I was surprised at myself.

Where’d that come from? Am I really that high strung?

What, more than usual?

Very funny.

“Sorry about that... Just... stressed. That’s all.”

The group seemed satisfied by this, and Twilight took it as a cue to continue her barbaric method of torture. Thus the various cuts and lacerations across my arm burned, whiskey igniting the pain in each of the wounds.

It was damn near indescribable – just an incredibly powerful burning sensation striking each of the nerves - so I’ll just say that it hurt. A lot.

So I did what any reasonable person would do in the situation when swearing was out of the agenda. I spouted gibberish.

I can’t remember all the crap that came out of my mouth, but from the expressions that the group made it must’ve been pretty random. Anyway, when my bout of spewing things like: “why do the vampires in Twilight sparkle!?” and” the square root of rope is string” reached its end, something relatively sensible came.

“Seriously, why can’t you just heal it with magic or something!?”

It was a valid point, to me anyway. Even Applejack raised her eyebrows and looked to her friend as if to say ‘yeah, why can’t ya Twi?’. So you can imagine I was pretty frustrated when the only response I got was an exasperated sigh and a frustrated cry of:

“Magic doesn’t work like that!”

“What the hell do you mean ‘magic doesn’t work like that’? Magic is magic, logic doesn’t apply!”

“What do you mean logic doesn’t apply? Magic is a science so of course it has constraints! Everypony know that!”

“Well excuuuuuse me Princess, but I’m not a pony and magic doesn’t exist where I’m from, so maybe you could clarify why your ‘science’ can’t help me. Or better yet, help define it as something other than voodoo sorcery.

You can tell that I was semi-delirious because I was arguing with a purple alicorn about the nature of magic. But back to the story.

Twilight stuttered and huffed before she broke into full on rant mode. Everyone else, again bar Fluttershy and Big Mac, covered their ears and rolled their eyes in preparation for the oncoming storm.

“Voodoo sorcery!? How dare you! Voodoo is a load of hooey and sorcery is just a name for some of the darker aspects of magic; which on the whole is an essential component of our world!”

The enraged mare took a deep breath of air to reload her ammunition before continuing her opressive fire.

“And the reason that it won’t work with you is because I’m being careful for your sake! You’ve already said that you don’t have magic where you’re from, so I don’t know whether of not the effects of magic could be detrimental to your health. I don’t know anything about your anatomy and I don’t want to take that risk! Your welcome, by the way!”

Twilight finished her monologue with a tremendous huff and stomped out of the room. Each step caused tremors that resounded through the wood, giving the illusion she had twice the number of hooves than she truly possessed.

She was clearly pissed, and from the expressions of everyone else in the room they were too. So I’d lost a few cookie points, but at least the purple demon was no longer stabbing at my arm with her whiskey-cotton blade, a most deadly torture tool. Silver linings, y’know?

“Uhm, David, Ah think you should apologise. Ah mean, you did just insult her most important subject an’ way of life. If somepony came and told me that Apple farmin’ was a load of horseapples Ah’d be pretty angry too.”

She has a point.

I’m not apologising.

Why not?

Because she’s an insufferable bitch?

Close, but no.

“I agree Applejack, however what if apple farming didn’t exist where they come from. Or rather, what if the way in which apple farming works contradicts everything they understand about the world? Surely you would cut them at least a little slack, especially if they’d put themselves in mortal danger to keep your close ones safe?”

Applejack’s stern expression faltered as she lapsed into resignation.

“Ah guess ya have a point... That don’t mean you shouldn’t apologise though, if anything ya should outta courtesy conisderin’ she was treatin’ yer wounds an’ all...”

Ugh, is every mare in equestria, bar Pinkie and Flutters, this goddamn irritating? Rainbow gatecrash, AppleTwat, The Marshmallow and... ugh, I got nothin’ for Twilight.

How ‘bout faggot? Works for most of the internet.

Now witty enough and the internet doesn’t exist here, Dimrod. Meh, I’ll figure something out eventually...

“Ugh, fine – I’ll apologise later.” For the record, I didn't. “But first I need to finish cleaning these wounds,” I muttered, examining my arms. Thankfully, there was little to no bleeding as most of the cuts had barely broken the skin, leaving numerous thin stripes of bright red across my otherwise fair flesh.

However there was a much messier gash from the timberwolf that bit me, its short and stumpy canines having torn through the tissue much less cleanly as the claws had. It wasn’t deep, half a centimetre at most, but compared to the rest it was certainly the worst thus it sat squarely at the top of my priority list.

Well, at the top of the injury-related priorities - my actual top priority at the time was winding up a certain lavender alicorn. In retrospect I prioritised quite a lot. Didn’t get in the way of my fun though.

“Hey Applejack, what are these balls soaked in?” I asked as I brought one of said cotton balls to my nose and inhaled, furrowing my brows in (false) contemplation.

“Uh, Ah think its whiskey. Why?”

A look of horror adorned my face, eyes wide with shock and mouth agape in terror.

“Alcohol in all forms is incredibly dangerous to humans! If it enters our bloodstream even the tiniest amounts can kill!”

Applejack took a step back as fear crept into her expression, not pausing to allow words out of her mouth before bolting from the room with the speed of a startled gazelle.

“TWILIGHT!!! DAVID’S IN TROUBLE!!!”

A smirk adorned my face as I positioned myself on the sofa that I inhabited. Playing dead is surprisingly difficult when you can’t stop smiling, so I bit my cheek to bring myself under control. The pain was minuscule compared to the torture of a certain purple mare not five minutes earlier, but it was enough to get the smirk off my face.

“Wut are ya doin?” asked Applebloom, who I must confess I had completely forgotten about.

Crap. Play it cool...

“Playing a prank on Twilight.”

“By pretending she's killed ya?

“You catch on quick, but don’t give it away. Just, trust me on this – it’ll be funny.”

Applebloom raised a single eyebrow in response before cantering back over to Big Mac’s unconscious body. Fluttershy was still absorbed in her work, oblivious to the surrounding ruckus.

I wonder if this’ll snap her out of it...

Through the door I heard Twilight shout,

“I don’t care, I’m not having anything to do with him until he apologises!”

Applejack audibly skidded to a halt on the wooden floor before announcing, “Twilight you can make up with him later, but if ya don’t come now ya won’t be able to!”

Applejack’s panicked tone must’ve gotten her friends attention, leading her to ask, “Why, what’s happened?”

“Ya know how ya were talkin’ ‘bout not knowin’ the effects of stuff on his body? Well, David ju’ told me alcohol’s toxic to humans, Twi.”

Now, I would like to say her eyes flew wide in realisation of what’s she (thought she) had done and that she gasped in horror of the consequences, but I couldn’t actually see them so I have no idea what her reaction actually was. But for the sake of the story, I think my description works fine.

“What! Oh no, I only considered magic to be a potential risk, not any chemicals or drinks! Oh Twilight, how could you have been so stupid? Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stu-“

“Twi, Ah can understand yer frustrated an’ all, but now might be a good time to try an’ fix it.”

“Yeah, fix it. Right.”

As Twilight raced back to the room I quietly queried to Applebloom if I appeared dead enough, to which she responded with a nod. Placing confidence in her judgement I left things as they were and resigned myself to the outcome, whatever it was going to be.

I didn’t have to wait long before a lavender form burst through the doorway, panting in exhaustion.

“David?” The lone word was spoken with trepidation, hoping for a response but fearing a lack of one.

There was a lack of one.

“David!?” she queried again, this time more tensely as she rushed to my side. My eyes were open, but not focused on her and didn’t move them for risk of alerting her to my deception, so I was left without a sight of the real victim as panic overtook her. She jabbed me in the side with her hoof, knocking me in attempt to rouse me from my ‘eternal slumber’, but it was in vain – I refused to be given away so easily.

“Oh no, oh no, oh no; I didn’t mean this to happen! Now how am I going to present my studies on human society to Princess Celestia!?”

Wait, WHAT!? She cares more that she’s lost a source of information than the fact that she’s ‘killed’ me?

“Uh, Twi? Ain’t there anythin’ ya can do to fix this? Ah mean, yer magic can do pretty much anythin’... right?”

Applejack’s question was fraught with concern, though I’m still unsure whether it was for my health or her friend’s conscience.

“Well, I could always try restarting his heart... it’s a good place to start, right?”

Uh, what? Restart my heart..?

And then it hit me.

Well shit.

“WAIT! I’m not dea-“

My words fell upon deaf ears as Twilight unleashed her mystical energies on my unprepared body. I was instantly overtaken by sensation, my mind blanking out all stimuli except for the power now being transferred to me.

I wish I could say it was incomparable warmth flowing through my body, radiating joy and happiness through every cell. I wish I could call it a wonderful experience that burned out any sadness and replaced it with joy. I can’t. It just burned.

It wasn’t especially unpleasant, only lasting an instant. But it was one bloody hell of a shock.

As conscious thought returned to me I became aware of the bemused expression adorned on Twilight’s face.

“Huh, I don’t remember reading that sort of thing happening before...”

“Uh Twilight, what just happened?”

I shook my head groggily, an uncomfortable ache forming in the base of my skull.

“Yeah Horny, what just happened?”

[color=purple]Hehe, Horny. Geddit? ‘Cause she’s got a horn.

If your drivel is going to start coming out of my mouth I really need to get help. I don’t like having to ask for help, so don’t ever do that again.

Ooookaaaay, sorry. Won’t happen again.

Good.

Well, again today at least.

God help me.

But you don’t believe in-

Figure of speech.

Oh.

My head throbbed mercilessly, dragging me back into reality, face to face with two mares. One mare was shocked, her mouth forming a near perfect ‘o’ shape and her eyebrows threatening to fly off of her forehead. The other was blushing intensely, the crimson hue of her cheeks clearly visible despite her lavender coat.

“H-H-H-Horny?” said the lavender mare in question, her voice strained with an excess of embarrassment. I say ‘lavender mare’ because at the time her name eluded me for whatever reason, probably due to the

It wasn’t quite amnesia, if anything it was closer to face blindness. I’m not developing ‘lavender mare syndrome’, though she did wear lavender perfume on a number of occasions and had lavender soap by her sink. So all in all, she was quite a lavender mare; but I digress – back to the story,

“Yeah, you have a horn on your head. Thus, Horny,” I stated plainly, my logic irrefutable.

“Oh.. well, I suppose you’re right, but I’d prefer Twilight if you don’t mind.”

“Sure thing, Horny,” I replied casually, eliciting a slight huff from the target of my teasing.

I was expecting some sort of rebuke for my stirring, but I was instead greeted by silence – Twilight had forsaken a response completely and had instead returned to pondering whatever conundrum presently occupied her thoughts.

During my short respite from having to interact with the ponies I scanned my surroundings, taking in all of the information that was on offer.

At a first glance, one wouldn’t think much of the space – it was a standard living room, containing the sofa that I inhabited, a rocking chair with no current occupant, and numerous other pieces of furniture dotted about the place.

The walls, ceiling and floor were all made of the same, cold, dark wood. Rows upon rows of uniform ashen brown planks, their colour having faded with age and wear. To be fair, it was impressive craftsmanship, most likely having required a great deal of skill and dedication.

Or, a pony with a woodworking cutie mark.

Under normal circumstances I probably would have found it rather suffocating – the dim light from a single glass pained window; the dark wooden walls that seemed closer together with each glance; the tattered and musky furniture. Each of these things I found vaguely unpleasant and yet...

Dotted around the place were little bits and pieces – assorted home art, pictures of the Apple family in its entirety during one of its reunions, even a set of painted hoofprints; four miniature blobs of orange on the left, and four less miniature spots of red on the right.

Despite the nature of the room, I couldn’t help but feel warm; in spite of, or maybe because of the contrast between the crushing space and how homely the Apples seemed with everything that filled it.

My heart released a twinge of sadness as it drew similarities between the hoofprints and a similar kind of thing back at my home; three sets of handprints in clay, my own along with that of my younger brother and sister.

I let my mind wander for a short while before returning to inspecting the living space, only to find an inadvertent smile on my lips and an undesired tear on my cheek.

“Y’okay David?” asked Applebloom, her voice tender. Normally I would have put it down to childish naivety on her part, and yet I couldn’t help but feel touched that she was concerned over my well being. Across from me lay her brother, unconscious and much worse for wear than myself, and yet she was asking if I was okay.

“I’m fine. Just remembering home, that’s all,” I responded, “it’s nothing, really.”

For a second Applebloom looked as if she was going to perpetuate the subject, but for whatever reason she decided against it and returned to patiently waiting for her brother to awaken. And that’s when the Purple Horror returned.

“David, yesterday you described our conversation as a diplomatic assignment pertaining the trading of information... and well, would you mind if we continued?”

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t so horrible after all. But she was definitely purple. Very purple. Anyway, having nothing better to do I decided to indulge her request for knowledge. I mean, there’s no way I was going to regret it, right?

Author's Note:

Sorry this took so long, various trips and competitions got in the way of my writing. Also, it left me ending up writing this in a lot of sessions under different conditions, so if the pace and style seems to vary quite a lot that's probably the reason why.

For those who are worrying about the voices in his head, don't worry - they have a part in the story but they are resolved relatively early on.

And before I get comments asking about these things I'll try to explain them pre-emptively:

> Twilight has not forgotten about the apology she believes David owes her, she's just putting it off for a bit in lieu of learning.

> Yes the odd reaction to the spell has future relevance and was completely intentional, not just a lazy attempt to up the word count. And no, Twilight has not forgotten about it but is putting it off for the same reason as seen above. And no, she hasn't realised he wasn't dead.

> No, the next question is NOT going to be another Q&A chapter. That comes later.

Comments

[JBL]

I quietly queried to Applebloom if I appeared dead enough, to which she responded with a nod.

I believe his eyes were still closed at this point, so how could he see her nod?

[Al Capony]

2923866 His eyes weren't closed