Chapter One Hundred Nine
Chapter One Hundred Nine
Ditzy tried not to let out a frustrated sigh, despite how displeased she was with her current situation and surroundings, and the circumstances behind both.
Ever since her surgery, she'd been taken out of the field and stuck behind a desk at the post office. Insurance reasons and all that sort of stuff that came with working in the mail service. Apparently the higher-ups had determined that, for the time being, she was better off working inside rather than outside.
Making it worse, that entailed working the front desk. Which in itself entailed being the face, the designation representative that often got associated with every mail snafu that came along down the line when ponies didn't get their letters and packages, even if it was way down the chain and out of her hooves. This was such a crap assignment...
Perhaps the most ironic twist in everything that'd befallen her, her eyesight was actually a little better now. Granted, her depth perception was a bit off, but other than that she honestly felt like she could see for miles!
That still hadn't been enough to convince the higher-ups of her fitness for field work, however. According to them it was still soon to tell if she was actually fit to deliver the mail to others, and they didn't want to take the chance of her retina detaching itself again while under the physical strain of lugging heavy parcels about.
If somepony asked her for her opinion on the matter, it was more about them not wanting to pay for her downtime if that did come about, and a subsequent surgery was needed, because that would count as a workplace accident they'd be liable for. And they didn't want that liability to cost them.
Worse than all that, the patches of fur that'd been shaved off for her surgery still hadn't grown back in yet. Thus not only was she saddled with front desk duty, she also looked like she'd lost a fight with the gas burner on her stove. Again.
More annoying was the fact her entire work schedule had changed! The hours were different, she had a different day off... she'd loved her original schedule, it'd been perfect for her! It'd been perfect for her daughters! Now, however, not so much. Now it was much harder to spend time with Dinky and Sparkler. She didn't even want to think about what this change was going to mean for when school started up again.
Maybe she could get back on her regular schedule and delivery route by then. She certainly hoped that was the case, but at the same time she didn't hold out that much hope for it to actually happen.
"This sucks biscuit dough," she sighed, wanting to simply hang her head. Or maybe headdesk. It hurt more to do if done wrong, but the resounding thud was far more satisfying for expressing frustration and displeasure.
...
Tartarus be had, headdesk it was!
Except she couldn't do that right now, as a customer picked that exact moment to enter the post office with a package in tow. The pony in question being Carrot Top with a parcel perched atop her back as she approached.
Business now. Headdesk later.
"Hi, Carrot Top," she greeted as friendly and professionally as she could.
"Hi, Ditzy," Carrot Top greeted in turn as she approached. "They got you working front desk?"
"Yeah," Ditzy sighed, "sorting incoming mail, measuring packages, and being the one who gets yelled at by irate ponies when the mail naturally screws up somewhere else."
"Oh. Sorry to hear that," Carrot Top replied as a slight frown crossed her face.
"Thanks," Ditzy replied, "what brings you by?"
"I need to get this package shipped out. No real rush, but it needs to be delivered in less than a week," Carrot Top explained as she adjusted her stance to allow the parcel to slide off her back and onto the counter.
Ditzy nodded in understanding, reaching out to take the parcel and get it ready to be processed, but immediately stopped. She tilted it to the side as she looked at it, before tilting her head to the other side, before finally setting it back down to retrieve both a scale and a ruler from behind the desk to measure it.
"Hmm..."
"What? Is something wrong?" Carrot Top asked, suddenly feeling a bit uneasy as the package was scrutinized, all in a manner that was uncharacteristically silent and serious.
Honestly, it was uncomfortable to watch, and filled her with the urge to squirm. It was almost like she was the one being weighed and measured to determine her worth.
"Is... is there a problem?" she asked further, unable to keep the unease out of her voice as she spoke.
"Nope, no problem," Ditzy finally confirmed as she set the ruler aside. "It's just that, with the combined dimensions of the package, it falls into the oversized category. The shipping's gonna cost extra."
"Excuse me, what? There's no way that package can be oversized, it just can't be," Carrot Top stated in disbelief.
Ditzy nodded. "Afraid so."
"That can't be, you must've made a mistake or something. Measure it again," Carrot Top insisted.
"I already did. Twice," Ditzy replied. "You probably don't realize it because of how strong you are from all the farm work you do, but with the combination of its weight and cubic inches, it's oversized by post office criteria. It has to be shipped accordingly."
Carrot Top groaned and hung her head. "Can I speak to the manager on this? See what they have to say about it?"
"If I have to get Parcel Post out here, he's going to tell you the exact same thing. And then he's going to explain how the increased fees for shipping are to help compensate the postal services workers for the additional strain they're under from making deliveries of such. Believe me, you don't want to be subjected to that. It's more painful than just paying the fee and being done with it," Ditzy explained, her tone doing much to imply just how often she'd been subjected to such.
Carrot Top let out an exasperated sigh at hearing this. "Come on, Ditzy, we're friends. Can't you cut me a break? Help me out here? Please?"
"I already did. By letting you know the shipping was going to cost extra, rather than going ahead and charging you the extra shipping," Ditzy stated flatly. "I need this job, Carrot Top, and mail fraud is very serious. I'm not doing anything to jeopardize my work here, friend or no friend. I've got bills to pay and two foals to raise. Now do you want your package shipped or not?"
"Some friend you turned out to be," Carrot Top grumbled. "After all we've been through over the years, all the thick and thin, you're telling me that it's not worth anything?"
"Not in this case, no," Ditzy confirmed flatly. "Now, do you want your package shipped or not? There are other customers I could be helping right now, by getting mail sorted for delivery. The longer I spend talking to you, the less time I have to sort things out and get them helped."
"Somepony as developmentally disabled as you couldn't help anyone out," Carrot Top snapped. "What would you know about mail delivery anyway? It's a miracle you can even breathe and walk upright at the same time!"
Ditzy's eyes narrowed in annoyance. "That was just plain mean."
"The only thing that's mean here is you actually being allowed to have a family that depends on you. Are you taking care of them, or are they taking care of you? Foal Protective Services should come in and take them away from you! You stupid feather-back!"
Ditzy slowly pushed the package back across the counter, until it was on the verge of toppling right over the ledge. Insults were one thing, and she could deal with that. But to actually bring her daughters into this? Well that she simply couldn't stand for.
"Take your package and go. You can try again on my day off, when I don't have to stand by and watch you try and pull a con job on Equestria's mail service."
The slap came fast and hard, connecting Carrot Top's right hoof with her left cheek faster than she could blink or respond, leaving a deep stinging sensation behind in her wake, overshadowed only by the shock and confusion at what'd just happened. And then the realization at what'd just transpired in that brief flash.
Slowly, she turned her head back to face Carrot Top once again, and see the angered look she currently wore on her face. She wanted to be professional and ask her to leave once again. But in light of everything she just couldn't seem to manage that right now. Instead she'd have to settle for something else.
"Is that all you've got?"
She knew she wasn't supposed to challenge and pick fights with customers in the post office.
But at the same time, the customers weren't supposed to assault her -verbally or physically- when she pointed out that their requests/demands were physically impossible and/or illegal. So they were well past that point of no return by now.
"Like you could actually do any better?" Carrot Top shot back bitterly.
Saying nothing in response, not even giving a sigh, Ditzy calmly climbed over the front counter into the main lobby area, stepping down next to where Carrot Top had been as the earth pony gave her space to see just what she could muster.
She unfurled and stretched her wings, flexing them a bit before gently tucking them back in at her sides. She then moved onto stretching her neck to the left until a satisfactory pop was felt, before doing the same to the right. She rolled her withers to address a forming kink.
And then she proceeded to slap Carrot Top right across the face, connecting her left hoof with the intended target with enough force to floor the stunned earth pony, who hit the ground with a thud before she even realized what'd just happened.
Had she struck Carrot Top with her right hoof, impacting her on the left side of her body which she'd been bracing for impact, the results might've been quite different. But she hadn't done that, as she saw the bracing and tensing of muscles underneath her coat while doing her stretching.
To add the metaphorical cherry on top, Ditzy stood and leaned down over Carrot Top as she spoke. "In case you didn't know, I'm a lot stronger than I look; raising two foals by yourself will do that to you."
Carrot Top could do little more than groan as the pain of the blow made itself known through the surprise.
"Now, if I have to get Parcel Post out here and explain the situation, you're going to be in for a world of hurt; both for attempted mail fraud, and assaulting a postal worker. So I'd suggest you take your fat, oversized package, and get out of here while you've got the chance," she continued.
With that matter settled and resolved, she climbed back over the counter once more, returning to the portion of the post office that was off limits to the rest of the general public. There was still a lot of work that had to be done in sorting mail for shipping out before the end of the day, and it wasn't about to do itself.
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Damn that's was a good hit ditz great story
You'd think with how much collateral damage Derpy can inflict to buildings just by flying into them and NOT suffer from any injures, ponies would not want to pick a fight with her.
10520935
Oohhhhhhh OK I get it thanks
Ditzy does not need a weapon, her body IS a weapon....you don't fuck with the person who delivers your mail!
No one is wondering what just happened? I don't think something like that is supposed to happen in equestria, is the world actually changing to fit ulquiorra Because he isn't changing fast enough to fit it?
At least that is what i got from that.
Carrot forgot rule one: Do not anger those who decide to deliver your mail or "accidentally" lose it.
That said... I'm with our favorite walleyed mare here. Sometimes you just have to deliver a clear, concise message via one healthy slap to the face. And in this instance, I do believe the message was made loud and clear.
After reading what Pinky said in chapter 100 when the ponies were looking for Murcielago, in chapter 15 Ulquiorra cut the dragon's fire with a reiatsu wave that he launched through his zanpakuto (same principle of Getsuga), and has shown to be able to learn non-innate techniques. (Colmillo and Escopeta in chapter 99)
I was thinking that maybe he could develop his own version of Getsuga tenshou, after all he mentioned that Ichigo's getsuga was very similar to his Cero (Oscuras). Basically a Getsuga Tenshou with green outline.
How does Luna creciente or Media Luna sound?
You'd think Carrot Top would be more understanding of Derpy and her current position after all that had happened in the story. Instead, she's a total asshat trying to commit mail fraud while having the audacity to pull the friend card, only to revoke it with both her insults and that slap.
She definitely had the retaliation coming.
That said, this chapter is yet another example of how radical the change in norm is after that clusterfuck that spanned most of this story. Well-done!
Carrot Top became Karen Top
Five ponits:
- Will the main 6 continue their experimentation with Ulquiorra ?... um... i mean about the poison joke thing (damnit Rainbow Dash!)
- Is Bon Bon really called that or is she still Sweetie Drops?
- Can't Spike's hammer focus or lock on Spike's Reiatsu / Magic Signature / Frequency? To return to Spike's hand, I mean.
- Will the Roho Mlaji be explored further?
- Will Twilight try to ask Ulquiorra for help to learn that lightning sword spell she wants, now that she knows that he can use Colmillo, or will she ask Princess Celestia instead?
Imagining Derpy saying "This sucks biscuit dough" is one of the most weirdly adorable utterances of "this sucks" that I have ever heard in my life. XD
First the incident with Rarity and Spoiled Rich, and now this. I'm sensing a pattern here. You planning on building up something?
Also I've been a fan of this story for a long time. I recently started rereading it again from the beginning since I forgot most of the story when you started uploading new chapters.