Chapter Seventy One
Chapter Seventy One
Thursday, July Fourth, second year of the new calendar: After Nightmare Moon
Observational notes pertaining to progress made in the operation dubbed "Rainbow Reparation"
Day Seven
The name of this operation continues to remain as stupid as it was the day it was put forth.
The continued physical and mental recovery of Rainbow Dash remains a work in progress. Complications are numerous, and any small advancement in establishing trust, is being regarded by numerous participants, in the same as a hard-fought victory, in an extended armed combat between two warring factions. Some complications can be attributed to Rainbow Dash herself. Others fall squarely on the withers of those currently in charge.
The drought of counselors and therapists with adequate skills, and appropriate training in these particular fields, continues to remain the primary hindrance as far as the others are concerned. And an improperly trained counselor, who does not properly understand what they would need to be addressing, would only risk complicating the matter to an unacceptable degree, as they misinterpret what they encounter. At the moment, general crisis counselors are the best we have access to, and they are trying; in every sense of the word.
Rainbow Dash herself continues to prove a hindrance to her own recovery. To some degree, this could be considered understandable; in all of the books detailing the history of this world, I have found nothing recorded, that is adequately comparable to her reported experiences. Even Princess Celestia is in the dark on this matter, as we pioneer this unexplored field.
But simply because the matter would be considered understandable, does not mean that it is acceptable, nor should it be treated as such. The importance of this matter extends far beyond her level of comfort. Whether or not the others have lost sight of this fact, I can't adequately determine as of yet. Further information will be necessary.
In terms of emotional stability, Rainbow Dash amounts to a mess, and prone to random mood swings, with little to no indication of what will be experienced at any given time. Despair and anger have so far proven to be the two most common states experienced, with only brief periods of calmness being intermittent.
Matters pertaining to physical health bring their own challenges, but so far have proven to be more manageable to some extent. Rainbow Dash seems sufficiently content to look after matters relating to basic hygiene on her own, without need of being reminded of such. However, she continues to resist eating a significant portion of the supplied food, due to it being present in her hallucinations. On more than one occasion she's made an effort to emphasize this point, by hurling the supplied bowl of oatmeal across the room. Those in charge of food preparation have been informed of this development, and advised to make changes accordingly. But for reasons not fully understood on my part, oatmeal continues to remain on the menu; and for some reason, they continue attempts at disguising its basic nature with the inclusion of diced fruits, and other topping ingredients.
If the above mentioned ridiculousness is allowed to continue unabated, I intend to take the initiative, and force feed her what food she is given, and deny her the option of refusing it. If her health deteriorates to an unacceptable level, the vulnerability that Equestria currently faces, will be of an unacceptably long-term duration. The only reason I have refrained from such for as long as I have, is due to remembering that her experiences also involved being force fed oatmeal by Twilight Sparkle. Even I recognize the potential hazard such an approach would present. As such, it will be reserved for when desperate times call for desperate measures, and no other options are serviceable. For the time being, however, I will allow Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna, to proceed as they see fit, even if I do not agree with their approach to doing it.
Establishing Rainbow Dash's current level of mental health and stability, continues to be a problem that eludes us. Results garnered seemingly suggest matters of contradiction; where she would be regarded as well in one area, she would qualify as unwell in another. At times I find myself wondering if even she knows, and understands what she's experiencing from one moment to another. How much of what's being experienced, can actually be attributed to the hallucinogenics in her system, none of us are truly certain.
The matter pertaining to creation of a dialysis machine continues to be discussed. However the acquisition of adequate research notes for replicating the basic mechanics of the device continues to prove itself difficult.
I continue to remain as much in the dark about how to proceed, as everyone else. The current situation is far beyond my level of knowledge and expertise. I was tasked with protecting Equestria from danger. And I am simultaneously tasked with protecting these ponies from harm. Taken under the right context, these orders seem contradictory to one another. And I am uncertain how to effectively carry both out under the present circumstances.
Ulquiorra paused in his writing, pencil hovering just above the paper, considering whether to continue with another sentence, or start a new paragraph. The appropriateness depended on what he had to say next.
Glancing back over the paper, and what had been written so far, he recalled the events that had lead to such.
+++
Even if it was still in the pre-dawn phase of the day, Twilight wasn't feeling the least bit tired right now; not after everything that'd been going on already. She had enough anxiousness and caffeine surging through her system right now, to keep even a cold cadaver animated. And right now, she was perfectly alright with that; the idea of going back to sleep just wasn't setting well with her right now. There were far too many things going on right now, for her to even consider the notion of going back to sleep.
But at the moment that was perfectly alright. Ulquiorra was currently present, surveying the scope of the damage that had been caused from the breach in the containment lantern. Under such conditions, she really didn't want to be sleeping right now.
She just wished that he'd talk a little more. Just standing/sitting as he silently observed everything, with no indicator whatsoever about what he was thinking, wasn't the easiest thing to do.
"Fascinating."
She really should learn to be more careful/specific in what she wished for. She really, really should. One word was definitely not what she meant, when she'd wanted to hear him say something.
"Maybe in an after the fact manner, but it wasn't very fascinating at the time of it actually happening," Twilight pointed out. But as soon as the words left her mouth, she realized they were more snippy than what she'd wanted to convey. "We almost got killed when this happened," she continued.
Silence on Ulquiorra's part. Twilight... she didn't know quite what she was expecting. Maybe an "I'm sorry" since it was his Cero that had caused all this. Or even something like "It was your own fault" since it was her idea to try and keep one of his Ceros contained, and stored so close to the living area. Anything would've been better than simple silence here.
"What is the conditions of the others?" Ulquiorra finally asked. It was better than nothing, she supposed. At least he was showing concern for the well being of the others.
"More shaken up than anything, but they're alright. I think. Pinkie went back to Sugarcube Corner for one thing or another. Applejack and Spike went back to Sweet Apple Acres to get some lumber so we could get the hole in the wall patched up. She thinks the apple wood will provide a nice contrast with the oak wood," she explained. She really didn't know just why Applejack had insisted on such a thing. Barnyard Bargains would be open in just a few hours, and they could've gotten the lumber then. To her it really didn't make much difference what wood was going to be used, since she was just going to cast a transmutation spell on it, and mold the wood into the hole to patch it and seal it back up again.
Maybe it was just wanting to do something with the parts of the apple tree that Ulquiorra had kicked down, which could still serve a purpose as firewood. She really hadn't thought to ask about such.
"I was inquiring about the condition of those who have been afflicted like Applejack," Ulquiorra clarified. While knowing where Applejack and Spike were presently was beneficial, it wasn't what he was here for.
"Oh," Twilight replied. Maybe she should've expected that. "I don't know, I really don't," she said as she shook her head. She'd been trying to keep track of everyone who had come forward to admit to experiencing day terrors. But there were just too many ponies for that to be a viable solution for even a short term. There was no way she could keep track of them in their day-to-day lives, it was just impossible. The only reason she was able to tell how Applejack was doing, was because they were more or less living together right now. She at least tried to check up on the others whenever possible, but the times during which that was a possibility just weren't all that common.
Plus there was the necessity of trying to avoid raising suspicion, and potentially causing a panic. The town was already close enough to panicking, without her unintentionally adding to the levels of worry that they were already experiencing on their own.
"I've been trying to keep records, but it's easier said than done. Even with Spike helping me out, I can't keep up with all the information that needs to be recorded, cataloged, and inventoried. And I can't ask anypony for help, because they don't know what we're up against, and it would take too long to read them in on just what they'd have to be doing," she explained, sighing as she hung her head in frustration.
To Ulquiorra, this seemed like the prime opportunity to bring up what was discussed last night with Princess Luna. Twilight Sparkle recognized that she was in need of assistance in this matter, and was all but asking for it. Perhaps she was more psychologically adjusted than he'd first suspected. Perhaps a meltdown on her part could still be avoided.
"Ulquiorra?"
But before he could actually inform her that help would be dispatched in the morning, she had already started speaking again, and was looking up at him.
"Once this crisis is over, do you think things will go back to normal like they were? We... we won't have to constantly stay on alert, and afraid of everything, will we?" she asked as she looked at him, hoping that he'd have the answers she was looking for. She certainly wasn't finding them herself, so it was time to look elsewhere. And who better than someone who actually had experience in such an area?
"I can't say for certain," Ulquiorra replied as he slid his hands into his pockets. "The setup of your world is still foreign to me. How it will react is something that I can't accurately predict. Crises have a tendency to generate support for increased political power and reach, in hopes of preventing another from developing. And increased political power, contingent upon there being a crisis to justify its existence, has little reason to try and genuinely resolve the situation that made itself possible in the first place," he explained.
"More personal experience from your own reality?" Twilight asked, already suspecting that it was. His answer was generally specific on details about certain behaviors, and usually something like that had to be prepared to some extent.
"Observational rather," Ulquiorra clarified, before continuing. "Eight years prior to my death, a crisis of a previously unimagined magnitude struck the human world. Several thousands died in a matter of just minutes after its occurrence. It had widespread repercussions of a global perspective, leading to drastic changes across the various continents, and countries. And in the ensuing eight years since then, the humans were no closer to resolving the crisis, than they were a mere twenty four hours after it first struck," he explained.
Silence followed his explanation. Not a word, or a gasp, or even a peep came from Twilight Sparkle, as she continued sitting there, stunned by his words. The only reaction he could detect, was that she looked like she might actually be physically sick where she sat. If he had to speculate, it was the death toll that had gotten to her the most. It wouldn't be all that surprising for that to be the case, considering that her previous experience with a large death toll, was the thirty eight changelings that had been exterminated with her assistance.
"I can't do this anymore..."
It was a low, hoarse whispering that he'd heard coming from her, followed by her weakly shaking her head as she looked back down at the floor.
"Ulquiorra, I... I need to tell you something. Something that's very, very important. It's something I haven't even told the others yet, I just can't," Twilight stated as she looked back up at where the Espada stood.
In the back of her mind, she understood that what she was about to do, could be considered one of the dumbest decisions of her life. But she also understood that not all matters could be determined by the head. Sometimes you had to listen to your heart, and what it was telling you was right. And sometimes you weren't sure just what was guiding your actions, but you still felt the irresistible compulsion to follow after it.
And right now that was something that she needed to do. There was too much shit going on all around her, and her mental fortitude was starting to suffer as a result. She needed help from someone she could talk to. She needed someone she could unburden herself to. She needed... she needed a fucking logical mind! And for better or worse, Ulquiorra was the only one she could confess to right now, and that was what she was about to do. The words were hurting far too much to hold back any longer, and were demanding to be unleashed. Consequences be damned, she couldn't bear to keep lying.
And may Faust have mercy for what was about to be said.
"I don't know when exactly it happened, b-but the Element of Loyalty went dormant after Rainbow Dash was attacked. She lost her sense of loyalty, a-and it has nothing to resonate with anymore within her. And it won't be functional again, until she finally gets better," she explained shakily, a mix of differing emotions making it difficult to get the words out as coherently as she would like them to be.
She'd expected... she didn't know exactly what she expected, but she expected something. Some kind of verbal response. A sentence, or even a single word, or even a single indecipherable grunt. But instead she was met with absolutely nothing but a cold, still silence. She understood that Ulquiorra was stoic, but this was far too stoic for her tastes, and it was starting to make her nervous.
Say something. Please just say something, she silently pleaded.
"Then the matter at hand is more complicated than we originally assumed," Ulquiorra finally stated, with no discernible change in either his voice or posture with this revelation. And truth be told, that was making Twilight even more nervous, than if he would've started yelling at her. It was bad enough that she wanted to flinch away, as if she was about to be physically struck.
"Ulquiorra, please... please don't be mad. I didn't want to keep this information from you. B-but... Spike was afraid that if you found out, you might think it would be easier to just... to just kill Rainbow Dash, and replace her with another pony as bearer, than try and help her get better. Like... l-like she was just a disposable commodity or something, instead of a pony..."
Ulquiorra listened silently as Twilight explained the matter; stuttering, stammering, and pausing all throughout the matter, visibly uncomfortable with what she was saying. It was quite apparent, even to him, that she was trying her best to not displease him with what she had to say. It seemed that even after all of their interactions together, she still couldn't manage to break the mistaken notion that he could somehow be angered, or otherwise made upset, by the information she had to share with him.
Why could they not understand the basic fact, that he simply didn't succumb to such pettiness?
"Such concerns are unwarranted. Even if such reasoning might seem logical on the surface, it quickly falls apart once one gives it even a cursory examination," he stated, his voice even as always. It was easy to see that this idea was based on Spike's limited grasp of knowledge, and not the creation of another. "Even I recognize that you six have developed specific bonds with one another; bonds that can be incredibly durable, or incredibly fragile, depending on what may be encountered. Killing Rainbow Dash, so that another may assume her position, would do nothing to guarantee a proper cohesion among your group; a lack of harmony as it were. For better or worse, all we can do at present time is wait for Rainbow Dash to recover from her ordeal, and resume her duties," he explained.
At hearing this explanation, Twilight simultaneously slouched, and let out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding in. Listening to Ulquiorra explain why killing Rainbow Dash would be a bad idea, and actually work against them in their efforts to protect Equestria, made her feel a lot more at ease than she had been in a long, long time.
"Oh that's good to know," she breathed, before straightening back up again. She felt better now that she'd gotten actual confirmation. She felt refreshed, and more wide awake. Even this early hour wasn't a bother to her right now. "Not that I ever believed it was possible, I really didn't. The whole idea was utterly ridiculous to even consider. I just wanted to assure Spike with absolute certainty, that it was an impossibility," she said as she trotted towards the stairwell, smiling the whole way. "He's going to feel so much better when he hears this, knowing that you wouldn't kill us, just because we might prove ourselves to be an inconvenience," she stated.
"I never said that."
Twilight nearly fell down the stairs upon hearing the unexpected statement, caught off guard by both its sudden utterance, and the content of the statement itself. She immediately caught herself, and spun herself around to look at where Ulquiorra stood, his back currently turned to her.
"What... w-what did you say?" she asked as she walked back over to where he stood, and moved around to the front to face him.
"I merely clarified that there's a difference between what was said, and what wasn't said," Ulquiorra explained simply, and left it at that. There was no reason to elaborate further on the matter. She hadn't asked for further explanation, and he had no reason to give it in an unsolicited manner.
"But... b-but we're your friends! You said so yourself! A-and you'd still kill us, just like that if we're incapacitated? Like we're nothing at all?" Twilight asked in disbelief. There was no way she could be hearing this right. It had to be a mistake. It had to be a terrible, horrible mistake, based on a lack of proper communication; like a screw up on Discord's part with whatever translation process he'd put into place!
"It must be understood," Ulquiorra began, unfazed by the emotional outburst, "what's being discussed, is of a purely hypothetical nature. For such a situation to even be considered as a viable option, it would first require every other potential option available to be completely, and utterly exhausted, leaving us with absolutely no other alternatives to even consider. It-"
"Damnit, Ulquiorra! Can't you drop the bullshit logic for even ONE second, and just give a simple yes or no answer!?" Twilight yelled angrily and slammed her right forehoof against the floorboards in response, not even giving him the chance to continue with whatever it was he had to say. She was in no mood for hearing the Espada actually explaining the matter, she just wanted him to give her an answer, devoid of an extended reasoning for specifically why it was his answer. Was that really so hard for him to do right now? Could he somehow NOT cut to the chase, when he could see for himself how important it was? "Please just tell me already, I want to know! I have to know! I need to know! Please! Please! Please!" she shouted with her eyes clenched shut, a mix of anger and sadness being all she was consciously experiencing right now.
"I would," Ulquiorra replied, giving only the briefest of pauses before actually answering. "It would be the only logical decision available under the circumstances in which the question was presented."
Twilight was stunned into silence at Ulquiorra's words. She never, never thought that he would've said something like that. He'd just... just utterly discarded their friendship status like it meant nothing to him. Without even the slightest hint of discomfort on his part, he'd willingly admitted that he'd kill each and every one of them, if it meant keeping Equestria safe. From what it sounded like Ulquiorra was saying, he really did see them as nothing but disposable commodities; fit to be used when they were necessary, and equally fit to be discarded the instant they couldn't readily fulfill their duties. And he would do it all, by justifying his actions as being necessary to protect Equestria from harm.
She didn't want any of this to be true. She didn't want to consider that they only held any value to Ulquiorra, so long as they were able to prove themselves useful to whatever his own agenda was. That wasn't friendship at all.
But what was hurting her the most right now, was the simple fact that Spike had been undeniably right. They'd all tried so hard to help Ulquiorra understand the importance of friendship. But they hadn't been able to do that. He was still just as empty, and uncaring as he was when he first got here. They hadn't been able to teach him about friendship. They hadn't been able to teach him about anything...
From where he stood, Ulquiorra observed the fallout of the situation, as Twilight Sparkle began sinking into despair, much as she had upon hearing the accusations leveled against her and the others by Rainbow Dash. She was far too emotional, and prone to crying, for her own good. She had asked him a specific question, about a specific set of circumstances, and had demanded he exercise blunt honesty when answering. He had done just that. It was no fault of his own, if she found herself to be psychologically unprepared for the answer that she got, when she had every reason to know that it could indeed be a possibility. If she truly didn't wish to know the truth, then she shouldn't have asked the question in the first place; or at the very least, she should've phrased it better than she had.
So why was he currently experiencing a sensation that reeked of dissatisfaction?
He had experienced this sensation before, back in his own reality. And it was a sensation that he didn't particularly care to be experiencing.
There had been no fault on his part. He had done nothing that anyone could consider to be wrong. If he chose to take his leave now, there would be nothing wrong with that either. He was not responsible for the emotional stability of these ponies. He was not to blame if they got their feelings hurt, by hearing things that they didn't wish to hear.
So why exactly, was he currently experiencing a strong urging to actually speak up, and say something under these present circumstances? Why did remaining silent, and taking his leave... feel wrong?
These ponies were proving themselves to be a corrupting influence.
"But simply because it would be the logical decision to make, doesn't mean it would be an easy decision to make," he eventually stated.
At hearing this statement, Twilight slowly looked up at him through tear-filled eyes, uncertain of what he was saying. He'd completely lost her in that one sentence, leaving her beyond confused.
"Wh... what?" she asked, before using her foreleg to try and dry her eyes. "What do you mean? I... I-I don't understand."
It was an appropriate statement on her part, Ulquiorra noted to himself.
"There will be times when hard decisions have to be made. When one must weigh the potential outcomes of whatever course of action they choose to take, and must be done quickly; sometimes in the space of time it takes one to blink. Sometimes even faster than that. The decision to weigh six, in exchange for six million, is something that may have to be regarded as being a distinct possibility at some point," Ulquiorra elaborated. "But simply because we accept that a specific course of action must be taken, doesn't necessarily make it any easier to actually see it through to the end."
Twilight sat in stunned -and confused- silence over what she was hearing, trying her best to decipher it. But it was a matter that was easier said than done. For being someone that apparently favored a straightforward approach to everyday life, Ulquiorra had an incredible talent for speaking in riddles. She sort of understood what he was saying, but at the exact same time, she sort of didn't. She couldn't help but wonder if this was what it felt like for a regular, everyday pony, to be hearing an academic lecture on a subject they had no understanding of; it was the same language, but with no understanding of the words that were being used, and what context they were actually being used in.
She wanted to ask for clarification on the matter. But as she opened her mouth, she closed it back up again and thought better of it, almost afraid of what answer she might get if she actually asked.
But afraid or not, there were some questions that simply needed to be asked, no matter what the results might be. Some questions simply begged -or more accurately, demanded- answers, no matter how uncomfortable they might be to hear.
"If... if you actually did have to kill us, in the name of saving Equestria from what would amount to certain, and otherwise unavoidable doom, because there were no other options available... would... would you miss us after we were gone?" she finally asked. With everything else that had happened so far, she really didn't believe that she had all that much left to lose. If Ulquiorra really wasn't their friend, and truly couldn't learn the concept of friendship, then it would be better to confirm such as undeniable fact now, rather than foalishly hold onto mistaken, and incorrect beliefs.
That was a question that, unexpected to Ulquiorra, gave him reason to stop, and ponder silently. He could've easily dismissed the notion out of hand as being foolish. There was no realistic sense in mourning those that were dead. But he didn't dismiss the notion. Or at least not yet anyway.
In the thirty four days he'd been in this world, these ponies -both those that held the Elements of Harmony, and a fair number of others- had become the longest interactions he had ever experienced, outside of his time spent associating with the other Espada members. But unlike the other Espada, the majority of these ponies didn't exactly qualify as trash. Some of them certainly did, but those who could qualify were always in a state of constant flux, and always being reevaluated with each new interaction.
Whether or not that duration would ultimately play a part in how he responded to having to make certain decisions, was something he truly couldn't speculate on with any degree of accuracy.
"I can't say for certain. I've never associated with anyone to the point where I would have reason to mourn their passing," he replied.
And then he was hugged. That was the simplest, and most concise way he could think of, to describe Twilight Sparkle's actions, in the aftermath of his statement. Without so much as a word as to what her intentions were, she'd reared up on her hind legs, and threw her forelegs around his midsection, holding onto him firmly.
This was the second time in less than eight hours that he'd been hugged. But unlike when Princess Luna had been the instigator, he had no way of discerning whether her actions had been for the purpose of comforting herself, or an attempt at comforting him, because she somehow felt sorry over what he'd said. The way things had proceeded over the course of just a few minutes, it could easily be one or the other.
But he wasn't particularly in the mood to be sorting that out right now.
+++
That was six days ago. And even now, he was still no closer to having a definite answer. Par for the course, but entirely annoying.
Looking down at the notes in his hand, he eventually concluded that some thoughts simply didn't need to copied down onto paper, for the sake of preservation for a later date.
Moving his pencil downward, he started on a new paragraph.
Efforts being made at reestablishing trust with Rainbow Dash continue to prove difficult. To some degree this difficulty is understood, when all relevant details are looked at. But understandable or not, it remains something that must be addressed. The longer Rainbow Dash remains afflicted, the longer Equestria remains exposed to danger.
So far there has been no word from the forensic accountant appointed by Princess Celestia, for the purpose of investigating Canterlot General Hospital. This is hardly surprising, as any such investigation back in the human world could take months to complete. Whether or not we actually have that much time, is another question entirely.
Luna let out a yawn, stretching her wings out as far as she could, as she made her way down the hall towards Rainbow Dash's room, before finally tucking them back in at her sides to ensure proper clearance through the doorway.
Much as it had been for some time now, the day was hardly as restful as she would like. Sleep refused to come easy, and when it did, it was rarely ever restful. But there was very little she could do about that right now. She had duties to tend to, both in the real world, and the dream world. Soon enough the latter would need to be tended to. But for the time being, the former was all she was focused on. For the moment, Rainbow Dash was her primary concern.
The two lunar guards assigned to the current shift saluted her upon sight. She returned the gesture, both out of habit, and out of respect for their services.
"Good evening, Rainbow Dash," Luna spoke as she entered the room, prepared to speak with the cyan pegasus about how her recovery was coming along on this fine evening, and inquire about how she could be of service to her.
However those thoughts were put on hold at what she saw. Standing reared up on her hind legs, and leaning back against the east wall was Rainbow Dash, engaging in... some strange behavior she didn't immediately recognize, as she continually shifted her height and position against the wall. It was very odd to look at; especially with her left wing fully extended at an awkward angle that didn't look particularly comfortable.
"Whatever are you doing?" Luna asked after a pause, uncertain of just what she was watching. Was this some modern form of dance that she was currently unfamiliar of? There were certainly enough of those sweeping the countryside, it wouldn't be hard to believe it as being a possibility. She knew a little of the "gangmane style" and the "horselam shake" types of modern dance, but this didn't look like either one of them.
"Trying to scratch an itch," Rainbow Dash grunted as she continually rubbed her back against the stone wall, pausing only long enough to speak. She stopped the vertical movements, and opted for horizontal instead. "It's right at the crook between my wing and my back, and I can't get to it," she explained.
"Ah," Luna stated in understanding. That was something she understood well enough to know the type of purgatory that was being experienced. Without another word, and a flick of her magic, she summoned one of the more intimate commodities from her own chambers; that being a backscratcher carved from solid exquisite ebony. It had been a gift from her sister upon her return. And it had seen much use during its tenure with her, to the point the prongs would've been worn away had they been made of a lesser material. "Approach."
Rainbow Dash blinked at the implement held on Luna's magical grasp. But she'd do anything to alleviate the itch she was experiencing right now. She set back down on her forelegs and stepped closer, and was met with the backscratcher against the coat on her back.
"Is it here?" Luna asked as she began working the tool back and forth.
"A little higher," Rainbow Dash guided, "a bit more to the left. Little more... little more... lit-," any further vocal guidance was interrupted by a low groan as the accursed spot was finally hit dead center, and was attacked with just the right amount of force to sooth the irritation she was experiencing. And it was utterly exquisite! Exquisite enough that she flopped against the ground, leaving her left side exposed, her leg twitching in simple, primal joy.
"How is that?" Luna asked as she adjusted the angle and moved more to the side. The only response she received was a groan as her wing twitched. She smiled as she continued the scratching for about a minute, before finally stopping to assess the situation. "Better?" she asked.
"Better," Rainbow Dash groaned, before finally rolling back over onto her stomach, and standing back up, before shaking her entire body like a dog fresh from the bath. She'd needed that. "Thanks."
"No trouble at all, my friend, I am here to help however necessary," Luna replied, before returning the backscratcher to where it had come from. Being able to make even a small difference was better than nothing. And the way things had been going the past few days, small differences were starting to feel like major victories to her.
"I might be needing your help a lot more, my skin's been getting really itchy lately. I think it's the shampoo they've been giving me for when I shower, it's really lousy stuff," Rainbow Dash stated.
"Then we will have to see what can be done about that," Luna stated and frowned. She would have to speak with whoever was in charge of assigning the commodities around here. And the sooner that could be done, the better off they'd all be. The stone walls of the palace were certainly fine for architectural purposes, but they weren't fine for scratching hard to reach itches. She didn't want to consider how badly Rainbow Dash could've rubbed her skin raw, had she not come when she did. "For now though, perhaps a change of pace is in order. Tonight you shall bathe with me instead."
"Uh... what?" Rainbow Dash asked, confused by what had just been said. How exactly had that come up?
"I am aware of what the conditions of your recovery include, Rainbow Dash, and while I understand how they can be regarded as necessary, I do not necessarily agree with them in all instances. Tonight a change will be implemented. My bathing chambers hold mane and coat care products that are likely of a superior quality. For tonight you will be given access to them. And you will also be in my presence, under my watchful eye, rather than those of the assigned guards and nurses," Luna explained as she reached out with a wing and ran it down her neck and back. "There will be leisurely bathing, there will be bubbles, there will even be rubber ducks."
"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked. She wouldn't lie, the idea of getting to recline in a roomy bathtub, and just letting her muscles soak, without being studied like a science experiment, was sounding very tempting to her right now. How could she turn that down? "Well you won't hear me complaining, that sounds awesome! But what brought this on anyway?"
"It seems only fitting. You have made considerable progress in your road to recovery. You are committed, and truly wish to get better, rather than remaining afflicted. Such changes should be marked with celebration and reward," Luna explained.
However her pleased demeanor soon changed, as she saw the look on Rainbow Dash's face. And it didn't exactly strike her as the type of look one wore when they were happy.
"what... what did you say?" Rainbow Dash asked as she stared at her, which caused Luna to retract her wing, and tuck it back at her side. "I truly wish to get better? Is that what you just said to me?" she asked, her voice starting to grow in volume.
"Um... yes?" Luna replied, uncertain of what had caused Rainbow Dash's sudden change in mood.
"That I wish to get better? What... what exactly are you saying? Do you... do you think that I'm fucked up like this, because I somehow wanted it to happen? Just like how I wanna get better? Is that what you're saying?" she demanded to know, her voice being filled with a great deal of hostility in just a short amount of time.
"Rainbow Dash-" Luna started, caught off guard by the sudden outburst.
"Get out! Get the fuck out of my room, now! You don't know anything! You think I can get better, just because I want to be better? That I simply haven't been trying hard enough? Fuck you! I didn't want this, I didn't want any of it!" Rainbow Dash roared angrily. And it was a roar that caused Luna to falter in response. She hadn't been expecting this to happen, and now that it was, she didn't know how to respond.
"You don't know anything! You don't know what I went through! You don't know what it's like when what happened to you isn't real, but it's real to you because you know you were there for every bit of it! I don't need you or your fancy shampoos, now get the fuck out!" Rainbow Dash yelled, before hocking and spitting at her.
The incoming projectile had been deflected through mere unconscious thought, and flexing of shield magic. But the words had hit their mark with pinpoint precision, and cut her quite deeply. Rainbow Dash was filled with so much hurt, and to Luna it seemed that she'd just made everything worse through a poor choice of words. She'd never intended to suggest that Rainbow Dash had somehow brought this whole mess upon herself, or that she had actually wished to be a victim of what had happened to her; such a notion was criminally stupid to consider. But her original meaning was apparently lost on the cyan pegasus as she was overcome with rage. No matter how she might try and explain herself, Luna could see that there would be no reasoning with her right now. She would need to give her time to cool down, before making an attempt at profusely apologizing for the misunderstanding, and explaining what she'd intended to say from the beginning.
She desperately, desperately wanted to sweep Rainbow Dash up in the most comforting of hugs she could manage, and hold her until all of the anger had been allowed to burn out, and left a young pegasus who would willingly hear the apology she intended to make. But for now, she would simply have to give her the space she wanted, and wait until she could approach again.
So without another word, she nodded weakly, and turned to step out of the room. The only thing she was thankful for right now, was how the guards had not stepped up to try and calm Rainbow Dash down from her current mood. That was something they didn't need right now. And if they tried, she would rebuke them for their actions.
Had she been just a few seconds slower in her departure, she might have caught sight as Rainbow Dash's anger started to crack, and sadness started to seep out, and bubble to the surface.
A few seconds longer than that, and she might have even caught sight of the tears starting to drip down her cheeks, and fall to the floor, as she struggled to take a shuddering breath.
Another long stretch of research in the library, another accompanying stretch of dead ends. For Ulquiorra, this was hardly anything new, but it was starting to become monotonous. Despite his best efforts at being thorough, they were still no closer to any definite answers for how to go about helping Rainbow Dash, Applejack, or any of the others. Nor was he any closer to finding the answers to specific questions that he had, concerning both related, and unrelated matters. If this didn't change soon, he would be writing the palace's library off as meaningless in this case, and simply attempt to look elsewhere.
It was entirely possible the answers he was seeking, could be buried somewhere in the Ponyville library. That was a thought he'd considered more than once. Twilight Sparkle prided herself on the quality of her library, so it was entirely possible that she might indeed have some books that would be relevant; maybe even that book with the article about the Neighponese technique for detoxifying the body.
Perhaps it was time to return to Ponyville once again. If nothing else, the Golden Oaks Library had the advantage of Twilight Sparkle being present. They could compare and contrast their respective knowledge levels, and determine which books could prove useful from this point.
As he turned the corner, however, his focus was drawn elsewhere as he saw Rainbow Dash slowly walking in his direction, with two lunar guards following from behind; just as they'd been instructed to do whenever she left her room. He had sensed her reiatsu in the general area -along with that of the two guards, indicating that they were taking their duty seriously- but hadn't seen her for some time now, since he didn't need to keep a constant eye on her.
The readings his pesquisa were picking up indicated some degree of emotional instability going on. But it was no concern of his right now. He had no reason to stop and inquire about her current state of health, as he already knew what he needed to know about her condition; she was still alive. She was also ambulatory under her own power. That was more than enough, and he thought nothing more of it as he walked past them in the hallway.
"Jerk..."
Attempts to goad him into exchanging in pointless banter. She was doing better than he'd initially assumed. Moving on.
"You could at least ask..."
That gave him reason to pause, and turn to look at her for clarification. He saw that she was looking back at him, the two lunar guards now standing several paces behind her, in case she decided to change her course of direction.
"I already know all the relevant information about your condition at this point in time. Asking you for specific details would be of little value," he replied. Apparently she still didn't understand that small talk about irrelevant details, wasn't an area he chose to focus on.
The next thing he knew, without warning, or even clarification as to what had amounted to sufficient provocation, she tackled him where he stood, slamming into him as hard as she could.
The spirit of the gesture was commendable. But the follow through was utterly pitiful. Had she actually been eating her meals on a regular basis, rather than skipping them out of stubborn refusal to eat what she didn't like, she might have been able to budge him from the spot where he stood. But instead it was more or less just her throwing herself against him in a useless manner, as he stood unmoving. After a few moments of futile struggling, she apparently recognized such a fact herself, and disengaged.
However she immediately reengaged with a series of punches and kicks against him, striking wherever it was feasible to make contact. Face, shins, torso, anywhere. All launched from a bipedal standing posture.
He had felt for himself, just how much force Rainbow Dash could generate on her own. Both with her Sonic Rainboom, and without. And what he was experiencing right now, was nowhere near those levels. Meaning she was in no danger of causing herself any severe physical damage. If he had to speculate on the situation, he would assume she was simply venting her frustrations against the most convenient target available. It was just a matter of coincidence that it happened to be him.
At this point, the guards were approaching to stop and restrain her from carrying on any further. However it took only a look from him to convey that they should keep their distance. Neither of them were in any danger of being harmed by this display of anger, so the guards had no need to get involved at this point. If he wasn't taking his hands out of his pockets in an effort to block her blows, then their involvement was simply uncalled for.
It wasn't long before her movements started becoming sloppier than usual, and taking longer to deliver. That was to be expected as it became harder and harder for her to maintain whatever level of anger she was experiencing. What she was doing was physically taxing on her, and would eventually have to stop.
Much like a fever finally breaking, and the body subsequently cooling down, she too reached a similar point after a nonspecific blow was landed against his solar plexus, just below his hole. Without going into excessive levels of detail that he had no concern for, she crumpled against his frame, and proceeded to bawl in an unrestrained manner, her entire body being wracked with sobs.
This was certainly not his first experience with a crying female, either in this world, or in his own world. However, to the best of his knowledge, this was his first experience where the crying female in question was currently clinging to his legs, leaving him uncertain of just what to do. Simply leaving the area, and leaving her to her own devices, wasn't a feasible possibility under these circumstances.
Glancing in the direction of the two lunar guards, he saw that they appeared as perplexed as he was. Perplexed and obviously uncomfortable, with the notion of attempting to get involved in this mess. To some degree, the hesitancy they were displaying was understandable even by him.
Looking back down, he was uncertain of how exactly to proceed from here. It would be quite simple to remove himself from her grasp, and from the area. He was under no obligation whatsoever, to provide any sort of care to any particular pony. He had made it quite clear that he was not in the business of tending to the emotional well being of anyone, under any circumstances. He could simply leave her here to cry to her heart's content, and no one could assign blame to him if he did such.
So why was he not doing that right now? Why was he continuing to remain here, as if he were paralyzed by some unseen force? It was completely, and totally, illogical.
There were many things that could be said and done under these circumstances. Many hundreds of different things, each of them leading to different potential outcomes, that could have potentially far-reaching effects later on down the line. But simply standing around wouldn't be a constructive endeavor to engage in. And with that fact in mind, he mentally resigned himself to what needed to be done right now.
Without a word, he bent down and -carefully- pried her forelegs away from around his own legs, leaving her to crumple against the floor, and pound her hooves against the bare floor in a futile manner as she cried. With that now done, he proceeded with the next part that needed to be tended to. Wordlessly, he slid his arms under her prostrated form, and lifted her up off the ground -holding her in much the same manner he had Twilight Sparkle, when she endeavored to learn about his sonido firsthand- before proceeding to walk back in the direction of her quarters.
It went without saying that he paid no mind to her sudden desire to cling to him as she continued to cry. Ultimately it was irrelevant right now.
As he walked, a look was shared between himself and the two lunar guards, who had so far been watching in uncertainty. It was the type of look that conveyed a single concept of thought without need for so much as a single word. And it was a concept that was understood quite well by the two as he walked by; not a single word of this was to be shared with anyone.
"I just do not understand what went wrong."
As Celestia sat out on the balcony of the throne room, looking up at the visible stars in the night sky -what was visible anyway, as cloud cover was starting to obscure her view- she couldn't help but note how this night's events seemed so strange, and yet so familiar, all at the same time.
Much as it had with too great a regularity, a restful night's sleep had proven to be elusive to her. Despite the body's wishes, the mind simply refused to comply, and shut down for the evening. And lacking a desire to simply lay around in a darkened room, she'd decided to come here, and observe her sister's artistic work, in an effort to clear her mind of what was troubling it.
But the stargazing had been of a short-lived duration, as Luna had found her not long into it. And without so much as a word beyond the basic -and shaky- utterance of "sister" from the doorway, Celestia could tell that her services were in great need right now. Without so much as a single word in response, Celestia opened and extended her left wing; an invitation that Luna wasted no time in answering. Luna all but ran over in closing the distance, and settled in, pressing her body against her sister's side, and resting her head against her chest, as a large white wing was draped over her like it was a downy blanket.
It had taken very little coaxing to actually get her to start spilling about what was bothering her. But then again, being the older sibling meant having the time needed to get to know just what buttons needed to be pushed, to get the desired results. And as soon as that right combination had been struck, Luna had let loose with a torrent of information concerning her failed interaction with Rainbow Dash, the fallout thereof, and her own lamentation of her actions.
"What if I have made things worse than before with my words? What if I have destroyed Rainbow Dash's trust in us?" she asked.
"It could've just as easily been I that said something that would've upset her, Luna. You're not at fault here," Celestia replied as she kissed her sister's forehead. Neither one of them were trained in the field of psychology. And even if they were fully trained, it was still a field that was -relatively speaking- in its infancy right now. Nopony could say for certain just what was accurate, and what wasn't. "Mistakes are bound to happen from time to time. And when they do, we'll deal with the results to the best of our abilities. But beating yourself up isn't going to solve anything," she pointed out.
"What if she hates me now? What if she has lost all faith in me, and I have undone all of our hard work?" Luna asked, finding no comfort in her sister's words of reassurance right now. Celestia hadn't seen what she had seen, or experienced what she had experienced. How could she say with any degree of certainty, that things would be alright? "I do not share your degree of optimism, 'Tia."
"You know as well as I, Luna, that difficult matters are only made all the worse by being tired," Celestia reminded her. It was a simple fact that they were both intimately familiar with. "Just give her some time to calm down, Luna, she won't stay upset forever. A good night's sleep may change her perspective on the matter."
All Luna could do was nod in response, feeling Celestia's chin rub against her head in the process. She would -begrudgingly- give the matter some time, and hope that things improved. But as she said, she didn't currently have Celestia's degree of optimism. But she would much rather be doing anything but waiting right now; she would rather pluck her coat out one strand of hair at a time, than leave Rainbow Dash miserable for even one hour, when she was the source of that misery.
"You always mean well, Luna, I know that your intentions are pure. Mistakes just happen sometimes, that's all," Celestia replied as she kissed her sister's forehead again.
She knew better than anypony that Luna had a good heart. It was just that, sometimes, Luna tended to feel first, and think second. Sometimes she was just a bit too literal, in letting her heart guide her actions. One such incident that immediately came to mind and perfectly illustrated that fact, was that which pertained to the distress caused by her learning about the emptiness and solitude of Ulquiorra's past, and the conclusion that three days of less than adequate sleep had yielded. Except on this occasion, Luna had enough cognitive thinking about her, to come to her first, before putting her idea into play. And although she truly didn't believe that things would work out like Luna was hoping, she would still be supportive of her little sister in her endeavors, to the best of her abilities.
Celestia certainly didn't think of her sister as being foalish. Perhaps young at heart, but not foalish. It was just that her heart and mind tended to run contradictory to one another at times. But she would learn, in time. She just needed to be patient with herself.
Again, all Luna could do was nod in response. She heard her sister's words of wisdom, but at the moment she just couldn't feel them resonating within her; at least not yet anyway. She opened her mouth to express her thanks to Celestia for her efforts. But before she could even get the first word out, a sudden tremor ran up her spine, cutting her off.
And then in the distance to the northeast, a column of bright white light shot up into the sky, accompanied by a thrumming-type of sensation that she could feel from here, sending out disturbances through the air, and resonating against her horn.
"Oh no," she whimpered, "not this. Not now."
Celestia said nothing in response, and instead simply closed her eyes, and shook her head. They so didn't need this right now, on top of everything else they were trying to deal with.
"This simply cannot be happening," Luna groaned.
"I'm afraid that it is, Luna," Celestia replied, pausing to rub her sister's back once more, before withdrawing her wing, and standing back up again. "Get the guards assembled and briefed. We know what we have to do..."
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Are we gonna get to see Ulquiorra kick some ass
Incidentally I was trying to add up how many days in the story it has been, now I don't have to, 40. Side note, I'm no longer stuck on mobile, stuck on a different OS than I'm used to though.
Oh Twilight, understanding a concept isn't the same as accepting, or believing in it.
Ulquiorra's progress is showing
5432210 MARKIPLIER. *hi-fives*
yay update!
Changes in the heart of a hollow, how excellent to see!
And it is my belief that the fecal is about to hit the fan...
Aaaand someone popped the Seal of Freshness on one of their canned evils.
Now Ulquiorra's gonna have to smack a bitch.
Well now, seems like Ulquiorra finally learned the appropriate moment to add context to what he says. If he hadn't I seriously think Twilight would have been completely broken. The way he explained the balancing of six to six million really reminded me of Archer from Fate/Stay Night, it is quite the difficult question.
Below are the edits for this chapter:
*only risks complicating - only risk complicating
*There was no ay she - There was no way she
*situation that made possible - situation that made itself possible
*resonate with anymore with her. - resonate with anymore within her.
*"What... w-what'd you say?" - "What... w-what did you say?" (This is merely a recommendation, considering the atmosphere and Twilights own personality, it just feels off to put a contraction there.)
*both those the held - both those that held
*moment, Rainbow Dash as her primary - moment, Rainbow Dash was her primary
*much rather being doing - much rather be doing
*thrumming-type sensation - thrumming-type of sensation
5432982
That was a pretty good poem unless it finishes being a song, then its a pretty good song, pretty much summarized the past few chapters.
Do we have our villain yet?
5432998
Technically we've had him since the beginning, we just haven't seen him.
5433003 Heh, I do always enjoy a mathematician's answer. Always amusing.
But yeah, I still haven't even finished the supplementary chapter because of a complete lack of will to even bother reading this until we finally have a villain.
5433024
Well, we've got a pillar of light and some "oh shit" reactions from the princesses, some pretty good characterization in this chapter but technically, we've seen him at the end of 70 A and half way in 70 B.
5433027 Well I guess it's about time I force myself to finish up the unread chapters then.
5433028
Sorry you feel that it is a chore to power through these, for 70 I might recommend reading the B version before A since you see a bit more of the villian.
5432666 YEAH *hi-fives back*
Great
ulquiorra never answered luna's mother question. I got to know.
are we at least close to a touching main six reunion????
Great chapter, it had drama, comedy, and a substantive cliffhanger. I might put it in my top 10 for the whole story.
By this point, I think I'm only still reading because I've already read so much. I've invested too much time to really quit, but it's a good bit too dry for me.
5432210
Perhaps. The only question is, will the ass kicking be physically, or intellectually?
Or better yet, what is all the waiting for physical action doing to Ulquiorra's nerves?
5432321
Very true. But that's a concept she has to realize herself.
I also wondered just how many people were keeping track of the progression of time. It's not easy keeping all of that stuff balanced.
5432459 5432530
Or perhaps he's been working on his method acting, and he's really nothing more than a manipulative bastard.
5432666
I don't get the joke.
5432817
Boys, pass out the ponchos and the rubber boots. We're gonna need a new fan.
5432924
Well something certainly broke, that's for sure.
5432960
Originally the scene was going to be a lot more involved. Ulquiorra wasn't supposed to stop at the six vs. six million comparison. Originally he was going to go much further, and explain how each of those approximate six million may have friends of their own who are at risk of being lost, if they hesitate when presented with a necessary, but unpleasant, course of action.
Looking back, I honestly don't know why I left that piece of exchange out.
5432998
Perhaps. Perhaps something even worse.
5435001
He has. I just haven't gotten around to spelling it out yet.
5435072
Perhaps.
5436345
Yes indeed. It had all of that, plus a 9/11 reference.
5437927
I'm open to advice for how to avoid dehydrating my work.
5438541
I personally think that you put a bit too much emphasis on the analysis, so much so that the events are too spaced out and lose emotional impact. Ulquiorra being dry is fine, as it's relatively in character. Twilight maybe, but she's a bit more emotional. Every other character and the narration? Especially when the aforementioned characters are not present? It's a bit much.
Alternatively, you could describe the actions and physical sensations more. Those are the sugar and spice of writing, or even the succulent juices that leak out of a delicious word-steak. (And remember, your writing for a hungry, human audience, not the number 4 espada.) I see the healthy veggie word-salad that your putting down, but gosh-darnit, I want candy! And Cake!
...
The food metaphor got a bit out of control...
Anyway, my reasoning behind this advice is that I (as a person) only have so much attention I am willing to give. Make it count. Furthermore, when you describe something concrete, such as the actions and sensations involved in smelling the roses, every part of my brain involved with actually smelling a flower, and the memories related to it, are activated. This is something that occurs anytime anyone imagines anything. And the more of your audience's brain is active, the more interested they become. Conversely, when the description is almost entirely abstract, it doesn't have the same impact.
Considering that you have over 1000 likes and a 92% upvote rating, I'm sure your doing something right. To go back to the food analogy, while the presentation and taste is... lacking, the nutritional value - the quality of the story's plot itself - is wonderful. (7/10).
I don't know. That's just my opinion; make of it what you will.
5438541
I like keeping track of events and time as they pass.
Well not to tell you what to write or anything this is only what I hope for but maybe a nice self sacrifice scene were Ulquiorra choosing the logical path restrains Mr drug inducer villain whoever the hell he or it turns out be, long enough for Twilight and her friends to blast them both with the Elements of harmony.
ALL OF MY LOLS
5438541 Eh, Column A and Column B
I noticed a pattern for those affected.
Rainbow, Ditzy, Applejack, Diamond Tiara, Pinkie Pie, Sweetie Belle.
Element, Non Element, Element, Non Element, Element, Non Element.
Assuming it doesn't end there, next will be an elemet, either Twilight, Rarity, or Fluttershy.
5445234 Oh I can understand that just fine. I'm just wondering where they were at during that conversation if they weren't already at the palace. XD
5438541 No joke to be had. Markiplier is a famous youtuber. The icon used by Trevor is Markiplier's icon, a drawing of himself with his famous pink "Warfstache". Just seeing that tells me we are both fans of him and his work, and that warrants a hi-five in my opinion because, well, F***ING MARKIPLIER. :P
5448270 I'm just waiting for Twilight to get afflicted so she can be all "HOLY CRAP IT'S AFFECTING ME NOW THIS IS INCREDIBLE I'VE NEVER HAD HALLUCINATIONS BEFORE THIS HAS TO BE STUDIED FROM THIS NEW PERSPECTIVE!!" XD
Hey I sense some Déjà vu. Like his encounter with Orihime. He is not there to comfort you physically or psychologically. And Rainbow has no idea how lucky she is to have the guards in charge of her well being, if it was Ulquiorra we all know what his solution to a uncooperative charge is. Force the food down her throat or be strapped to a bed and receive it via an IV. His view on this situation would be similar to the one with Orihime, as an element of harmony it is her duty to Celestia and Equestria to stay alive
5454427
Noted and already addressed. Ulquiorra has actually been holding off from doing just that, because he recognizes the possibility of a force feeding effort resulting in even more psychological trauma than what they already have to deal with, and the cost outweighing the benefit. He's smart enough to realize that Rainbow Dash's mental health has to be considered in addition to her physical health.
5454467 you have a talent fore thick plots that is for sure, plus crossover fics are probably the hardest due not only following one but two story line plots and make them meet. I look forward to this ones climax whether or not it is the final battle though knowing you I doubt it. Hey if they can't help Rainbow with her sickness maybe They should have Discord pluck Szayelaporro Granz from the pit of death. All he would have to do is wrap her in his tendrils and bam instant antidote. Though he will probably show everypony what a normal hollow behaves.
5455690
That might work, if it weren't for the fact that Discord isn't answering his calls, or even checking his answering machine.
As to Granz, there's absolutely nothing normal about him.
5455973 that's true maybe if Twilight can get Ulquiorra's descorrer to work and they can go to Soul society and get Mayuri Kurotsuchi. Would not be hard just let him experiment on a few ponies
5432817 A heart you say? You humans always toss around that word so carelessly... As if it's something you can hold in the palm of your hand. Tell me; what is a heart?
Northeast... the Crystal Empire?
Also:
Hummmm... Is Ulquiorra starting to experience... Feelings? 👀