Excellently done, you've discarded the usual "hello, me human, me pony, let's be friends yaaay!" approach writers usually use! Initial distrust between two different species is and should be expected. Now, I do wonder how they'll react if they meet each other. On one hand the ponies are looking for a potentially hostile creature they've never seen before. On the other hand you have a human hiding out into the woods, after almost being attacked by one of the ponies, injured and bleeding. Perhaps you should hold off on the confrontation for a while, while they're searching for him have him hide in fear, maybe he'll hear Rainbow boasting about how she scared him and what she could do to him, in order to build the tension to a high. Have him spend some days in the forest hiding out, thinking the ponies are out to get him. Maybe one of the cuts he received might become infected, making him do something desperate. Hopefully some of these ideas help.
Maybe Luke should find a cave to stay in instead of in the open, offers better protection and can hide. You don't have to post chapters so regulary if you have exams, these short chapters kinda restrict the amount of details you can use.
255971425511642550779 I'm loving all those ideas, surprisingly yours too JBL. I still think you're a schmuck though, always trying to give advice that nobody cares about.
Anyway, your chapters need to be longer, around 2000-2500 words, don't rush the damn thing, take your time and develop your chapters rather than trying to post chapters every day.
2567363 Point taken. I kinda just wanted to get something down before exam week (which is still going), so I do apologize for both the short chapters and the rushed story. I plan to get a chapter out either tomorrow or the day after, then the writing process should go a little smoother.
2567363 Dude, calm down, I'm merely trying to help writers create a story that would be enjoyable to read, This one has a lot of potential, but the possibility of him using tropes are high, I believe my ideas will put a fresh spin on the HiE genre, it the writer finds them useful so be it. If he finds they're nothing but crap, so be it.
4777425 in this world I'm guessing not but in the show itself ya (or at least monkey like i think) if that thing in the daring Do ep is a prime-ape that is
Excellently done, you've discarded the usual "hello, me human, me pony, let's be friends yaaay!" approach writers usually use!
Initial distrust between two different species is and should be expected. Now, I do wonder how they'll react if they meet each other. On one hand the ponies are looking for a potentially hostile creature they've never seen before. On the other hand you have a human hiding out into the woods, after almost being attacked by one of the ponies, injured and bleeding. Perhaps you should hold off on the confrontation for a while, while they're searching for him have him hide in fear, maybe he'll hear Rainbow boasting about how she scared him and what she could do to him, in order to build the tension to a high. Have him spend some days in the forest hiding out, thinking the ponies are out to get him. Maybe one of the cuts he received might become infected, making him do something desperate. Hopefully some of these ideas help.
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Good luck in your exams, I just had today two in the past couple of days, and one today
its
Maybe Luke should find a cave to stay in instead of in the open, offers better protection and can hide. You don't have to post chapters so regulary if you have exams, these short chapters kinda restrict the amount of details you can use.
2551143 Thanks for the ideas and pointing out the errors in my story, I appreciate it.
2550779 That would be a refreshing change of pace from the usual offerings some HIE authors give, hopefully the author uses them! Favourited!
maybe at some point have them catch him eating meat or something. just my two cents
2559714 2551164 2550779 I'm loving all those ideas, surprisingly yours too JBL. I still think you're a schmuck though, always trying to give advice that nobody cares about.
Anyway, your chapters need to be longer, around 2000-2500 words, don't rush the damn thing, take your time and develop your chapters rather than trying to post chapters every day.
2567363 Point taken. I kinda just wanted to get something down before exam week (which is still going), so I do apologize for both the short chapters and the rushed story. I plan to get a chapter out either tomorrow or the day after, then the writing process should go a little smoother.
2567363 Dude, calm down, I'm merely trying to help writers create a story that would be enjoyable to read,
This one has a lot of potential, but the possibility of him using tropes are high, I believe my ideas will put a fresh spin on the HiE genre, it the writer finds them useful so be it. If he finds they're nothing but crap, so be it.
dude this story is good and its been a while so I must say with the most fluttershyness I can muster right now...
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Please...
Do they any apes or monkeys in there world!
4777425 in this world I'm guessing not but in the show itself ya (or at least monkey like i think) if that thing in the daring Do ep is a prime-ape that is