Tonight the Stars Revolt! Part 1
Disclaimer: It’s Ponies, but humans, because that’s how I roll.
Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there were two regal sisters, who ruled together and created harmony for all the land. To do this, the eldest sister used her powers to raise the Sun at dawn. The younger brought out the Moon to begin the night. Thus, the two sisters maintained balance for their kingdom and their subjects.
But as time went on, the younger sister became resentful. Everyone relished and played in the day her elder sister brought forth, but shunned and slept through her beautiful night. One fateful day, the younger sister refused to lower the moon to make way for the dawn. The elder sister tried to reason with her, but the bitterness in the young one's heart had transformed her into a wicked force of darkness: Nightmare Moon. She vowed that she would shroud the land in eternal night.
Reluctantly, the elder sister harnessed the most powerful magic known: The Elements of Harmony! Using the magic of The Elements of Harmony, she defeated her younger sister and banished her permanently in the moon. The elder sister took on responsibility for both sun and moon and harmony has been maintained in Equestria for generations since.
Closing the book, scholar and apprentice to her majesty Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, hummed. “The Elements of Harmony, I know I’ve heard of them…but where?”
On a ladder in the library she was holed up in, a small purple and green Dragon looked down. “Say Twilight, something’s always been bugging me.”
Twilight Sparkle looked over to her assistant, Spike. “Yes, what is it?”
“Why is this land called Equestria? Doesn’t that seem like a strange name?”
Twilight stared at Spike, and then recalled what she had known. “Well, according to legend, Equestria received its name from the three magical breeds of small sentient horses that once roamed the land.”
“Small…sentient…horses?” Spike asked.
“Ponies, to be specific.” Twilight replied.
Spike laughed, as Twilight got up and stretched, her hands raised above her head while she lifted herself on her toes. Dropping her hands to her sides, the slightly pale young woman with hair in different shades of violet, and a horn sticking from her forehead stared at her assistant. “What’s so funny?”
“Ponies, huh? That sounds silly.” He said.
“There are much stranger legends out there Spike. Speaking of, help me find my copy of Predictions and Prophecies.” She jogged over to a book shelf, and began looking.
“I have a bad feeling.” She declared worriedly.
My Average-Sized Human
Tonight the Stars Revolt! Part 1
This story is inspired by the art of Megasweet, John Joseco, and others. Oh dear, this is going to be heading places, isn’t it?
[1.]
My dearest teacher,
My continuing studies of the ancient magic have led me to discover, that we're on the precipice of disaster.
“Wait. Preci…precip…?”
“Threshold.”
“Thresh…?”
“Brink!”
A clueless stare was his only reply.
“Now you’re just messing with me.”
“Hah, yeah pretty much. Okay, precipice of disaster and go.”
For you see, the mythical Mare in the Moon is in fact Nightmare Moon and she's about to return to Equestria and bring with her eternal night. Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true.
I await your quick response.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Oh but of course, Princess Celestia, absolute ruler of Equestria, Goddess of the Day and Night, and single greatest force of magic in the known world would be more than eager to avert a terrible prophecy. That is, of course, if Celestia actually felt that dire threats to her kingdom and her right to rule were more important than planning a stupid party.
“Make some friends? She wants me to make preparations for the party and make some friends? How does doing that even begin to prepare us for the doom that is coming to Equestria?” Twilight complained, and quite loudly, as they soared through the Equestrian skies aboard a sleek, winged white sailing yacht that looked as at home in the sky as it would on the water.
She was at the bow, watching the terrain pass between them, and their destination loom closer. Even from the air it looked so…mundane.
Behind her, her purple baby dragon assistant tried to see the upside. “Look on the bright side, the Princess arranged so you could stay in the library. That’s good, isn’t it?”
“Of course it’s good. It means I can hurry up with the preparations, and then find solid proof of Nightmare Moon’s return!” Twilight declared. Then Celestia would have to act, she reasoned to herself.
The yacht dove, swooping over the treetops before it came to a slow hover over a clearing. Looking around, Twilight looked over to the steering house of the craft. “Where’s the airfield?”
Peering back through the window the helmsman, a young man who lacked the horn she possessed called back. “Sunnyville doesn’t have an airfield. You’re going to have to just hop out here.”
“Doesn’t have an airfield? Oh, fine.” This was just getting better and better. Picking up Spike and her bag, Twilight walked to the edge of the yacht before calling back to the helmsman. “Thank you, sir.”
“Oh, anything for the Princess’s Apprentice!” The sailor called back.
Spike tucked under her arm and her large duffel bag secured over her shoulder, Twilight Sparkle jumped and dropped to the ground several stories below. Before she hit the ground, however, her horn began to glow, and her descent slowed to a feather-light landing in the knee-high grass.
With a flap of its wings, the yacht pushed off into the sky, and then performed a steep, sweeping bank back in the direction of home, the capital of Equestria, Camelot.
Spike frowned at the maneuver. “How come he never flies like that when we’re on board?”
“Because I get airsick, remember the trip to Philadelphia?” Twilight replied.
Well he did now, that was hilarious. “All over the Princess, I’m amazed she took it so well.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and began walking towards their destination, Sunnyville. It didn’t take them long to reach the main path into the rustic, picturesque town, whose only sign of modernity seemed to be the line of electrical poles that ran along the road.
Squirming from under her arm, Spike fell to his feet and jogged to keep up with his mother-figure’s longer strides. “This isn’t so bad! It’s quaint, quiet, like something out of a postcard!”
“There also isn’t a café to be found for miles.” She looked at her bag, and thanked herself for bringing her own coffeemaker.
Spike would not have this pessimism from her. “Come on, I bet this town has way more interesting things than just some boring old café.”
Something interesting, in fact came walking their way. It was a positively curvy young woman whose favorite color wasn’t hard to guess, given her pink shirt, pink skirt, and out of control pink hair–though the army boots were a bit odd.
Spike looked to Twilight. “Come on, maybe the folk here in Sunnyville have interesting things to talk about! Just try, at least.”
Twilight looked towards the pink-themed woman. “Uh, hello?”
“Hi! Nice sweater vest, stranger!” The bubbly woman complimented as she walked by, like she had things to do.
“Oh, thanks.” Twilight looked down at herself. She took pride in her appearance, so that was nice.
The woman, however, stopped mid-step, and became entirely frozen. “Wait.”
She whirled around and stared at Twilight with wide blue eyes. “There’s a stranger in Sunnyville?”
Suddenly, things felt a whole lot of awkward. “Um…?”
The strange, pink-themed woman gasped dramatically, and then ran for her life much faster than she ought to have been able to, as Spike noted.
“Never seen an Earth Folk run that fast, especially one with that much around the hips.” He joked.
Twilight let out a sigh. “Oh yeah, this is an interesting place alright.”
“Okay, that was weird, but don’t get bent out of shape! Come on; let’s get our stuff to the library and work on the overseeing.” Spike said before they headed off.
“Wow. That is a lot of apples.” Twilight said.
Sweet Apple Acres, their first stop on their overseeing job, was an apple orchard that spread further than they could see. Rows and rows of healthy, fruit-laden apple trees that painted the hills green with speckles of bright red. Just looking at all the apples reminded Twilight that she only had a light breakfast to keep from getting sick on the flight to Sunnyville.
“Sweet Apple Acres, they’re in charge of banquet preparations.” Spike checked the list.
Twilight let out a small laugh. “I wonder what the theme of the banquet’s going to be.”
The ground shook, startling both of them. Spike looked at the ground. “Whoa, that was weird.”
“Yes it was, Sunnyville doesn’t lay on any major faults…” The ground shook again, surprising Twilight. Her horn began to glow, and when the ground shook again, she turned her head towards the direction of the trees. “It came from that way, let’s go!”
Quickly, the two left the path and headed into the orchard, where they found baskets full of apples arranged around the trees, and a tall, blonde, and very fit young woman standing under a tree surrounded by more of the empty baskets.
“Another Earth Folk…” Spike whispered.
Adjusting the cowboy hat atop her head, the young woman adopted a fighting stance that Twilight immediately identified. “Equestrian Army CQC?”
In an explosion of power, the young woman shot forward and punched the tree with such force that it shook from the base of the trunk to the leaves at its top, amazing both Twilight and Spike. Then, the young woman spun around and kicked the tree with all her might, causing another tremor that shook the apples from the tree, and those in the immediate vicinity.
“Whoa…” Twilight had never seen an Earth Folk that strong.
“That was amazing!” Spike suddenly shouted out, surprising the young woman.
“What in tarnation…?” Applejack stopped when she saw a clearly out of place Horned Folk city girl and her pet dragon staring at her like she was the best thing to ever walk Celestia’s Earth.
Applejack smiled and jogged over. “Howdy, can ah help you round these parts? You look a little lost.”
Twilight’s awe evaporated as she quickly got to business. “Oh hello, my name’s Twilight Sparkle. I’m not lost; I’m here on business from Camelot to–.”
And then suddenly the frighteningly strong Earth Folk was shaking Twilight’s hand. “Well it’s a pleasure making your acquaintance, Miss Twilight!”
Twilight let Applejack do all the handshaking, because she feared if she tried to stop, her arm would be ripped off. Mercifully, she stopped. “So what can ah do you for, Miss Twilight?”
Spike snickered. Twilight glanced at him, and then explained. “Well, as I was saying, I’m the Summer Sun Celebration Official Overseer. I came to check on food preparations.”
“Oh, those are coming along just nicely!” Applejack said as she put an arm around her. Shoulders and led her to the farm. “The name’s Applejack, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you too…” Twilight checked her arm, hoping nothing had been dislocated by all that shaking.
“So, Miss Twilight, seeing as you’re official overseer and everything, would you like to sample some of the fine Apple Family Foods?” Applejack asked.
“Well, I don’t have much time, so…” Twilight trailed off when another voice called over to Applejack.
“Are you done getting the apples down your row, Jack?” Twilight looked towards the voice and stared at the tall, strongly built reddish-orange-haired, green-eyed man hauling behind him a train of apple baskets a dozen yards long with sheer brute force.
“Yep, I finished and right on time too. The overseer’s here from Camelot to try the food.” Applejack gestured to Twilight Sparkle. “This is Twilight Sparkle.”
Lowering the rope he was hauling the apples with, the tall and broad farm boy tipped the hat he wore and gave a most genial smile to Twilight. “Howdy Miss Twilight, the name’s Big Macintosh, but you can call me Mac.”
“H-hi…” Twilight said in a smaller voice than she had intended.
Spike saw her reaction and could barely contain his laughter. Applejack didn’t notice it at all. “Yeah, that’s my big brother, come on! You have to meet the rest of the Apple Family!”
Applejack quickly dragged Twilight off, as Big Macintosh resumed hauling the apples.
Twilight looked back towards Big Macintosh, and then to Applejack. “Sure! I’ll stay as long as you need me to!”
Spike rolled his eyes and laughed again.
Having left the Sweet Apple Acres two hours later, Twilight cursed herself for letting her lust write checks her stomach couldn’t cash. While all of that food was delicious, she was now so full that she was sure she was going to explode or something. Next to her Spike, whose stomach could be described as an incinerator that never got full, was checking the list.
“The food was great, so that’s taken care of. Next up is making sure the weather is perfect.” Spike looked up at the puffy clouds that occupied the sky over the path taking them from the farm back to Sunnyville.
Twilight looked at them as well. “Who is the Weather Corps Officer in charge of Sunnyville’s weather?”
“That would be Rainbow Dash.” Spike said.
Twilight paused. “Wait, that Rainbow Dash?”
“The world record-holding Rainbow Dash, yep.” Spike looked around and smirked. “I wouldn’t be able to guess with all this clutter, though.”
Twilight scanned the clouds, and found a particularly low one, very low, only a couple of yards off the ground. Dangling over the edge of said cloud was a pair of feet wearing sky blue sneakers with rainbows on the side. The woman connected to the feet was snoring very loudly.
Both walked under the cloud, and looked up. Spike looked to Twilight. “How much you want to wager that it’s her?”
“Sucker bet. Spike, get her down.” Twilight ordered.
Taking a deep breath, Spike spat a scorching flame that evaporated the cloud. He cut it out just as the last of the cloud turned to vapor, sending the sleeping woman falling towards the ground.
“And now I just…” Twilight had prepared to catch the falling Winged Folk, when the Winged Folk’s sky blue wings shot open and she was gone in an instant. “Huh?”
Then the world was spinning, as Rainbow Dash narrowly passed Twilight and Spike, the draft causing them to spin like tops. “Try to get the jump on me, huh? You have to get up pretty early in the morning to try to prank me, Pinkie…huh?”
Rainbow Dash stared at Twilight, who was now staggering around, with her hand on her stomach. “Oh, uh…are you okay?”
“I…I’m…ugh…” Twilight, her dark-skinned face now an almost luminescent shade of green, reared back. “I think I’m about to try the Apple Family’s cooking again…!”
Spike quickly got clear, as Twilight cut loose in one of the worst ways in a volume that Rainbow Dash didn’t think was possible from such a slim girl. When all was said and done, Twilight was left haggard and gasping for breath, and her swanky sweater vest soiled by what was formerly a seven course lunch.
On the bright side, she didn’t feel full anymore. Twilight looked over to Spike, who was lowering a camera. She glared at him.
“Fine, I’ll destroy the film later.” Spike said as he put the camera back in her duffel bag. He’d send a picture to Princess Celestia first, because it was that funny.
Rainbow Dash walked over and patted Twilight on the back. “Wow, I am so sorry…”
She couldn’t help but laugh, though when she saw the extent of the “damage”. “Hey, let me help you clean up.”
Her wings opening, Rainbow Dash took off and brought over a small cloud laden with rain, that she dumped on Twilight’s head, washing every fleck and drop of vomit from her at the cost of leaving her a waterlogged mess. Rainbow Dash laughed again. “Oops, I guess I overdid it.”
Reaching up to push her dripping hair from her face, Twilight glared again at Spike when he laughed at her expense. Rainbow Dash looked like she had a new idea.
“Here, let me try this!” Then suddenly Rainbow Dash was moving again, circling Twilight at high speed and leaving a rainbow colored trail that became a small tornado. “Have a taste of my patented Rain-Blow Dry!”
“Whoa…” Spike said, amazed again at the Winged Folk’s speed. When the tornado vanished, he looked at Twilight, and saw that her hair was puffed out like the pink-themed girl they met earlier.
Rainbow Dash landed next to him, and snickered. “Oh, well…wow. I’ve never had that happen before.”
“Have what happen…?” Twilight reached up and felt her now very wild hair. She looked down at her reflecting in the rain puddle below, as Spike fell over laughing hysterically. “Oh man, what.”
Rainbow Dash, still snickering, walked over. “Don’t sweat it, it’s cute!”
She ran her fingers through Twilight’s mess of hair, grazing her horn as she did. When Twilight jumped at the contact, Rainbow Dash let out a soft, amused snort.
Her face flushed, Twilight stepped back. “Uh, yes…I’m here looking for the Weather Corps Officer, who I presume is you, Rainbow Dash?”
Rainbow Dash folded her arms and smirked. “The one and only, unrivaled in Equestria and the world as the fastest Winged Folk alive. So, why have you sought me out? Wanted to see me in action, an autograph or…?”
She leaned close, her rose-colored eyes narrowing seductively. “Did you want to mess around for a little bit?”
Twilight’s cheeks burned a bright red, as Rainbow Dash reached up and ran the end of her finger from the underside of Twilight’s horn to the tip.
Letting out a squeak, Twilight stepped back as graciously as she could. “No! No! I’m here from Camelot on business!” She regained her composure but her blush remained. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, Apprentice to Princess Celestia, and I’m here to make sure you’re keeping the sky clear for the celebration tomorrow.”
“Oh, that’s all?” Rainbow Dash shrugged her shoulders and “I can have that done in a jiff, soon as I’m done training.”
Twilight cocked her head to the side. “Training?”
“For the Wonderbolts Flying Team of course, even a Record Breaker like me needs to be at the top of my game if I want to fly with the best acrobatics display team ever.” Rainbow Dash replied.
Twilight found a proverbial foothold, and stepped up. “Wait, you want to be a Wonderbolt?”
Rainbow Dash stepped back, and flexed her wings as she showed off her aerodynamically lithe figure. “They just have to see me once tomorrow during the celebration, and they’ll beg me to join.”
Twilight had her, yes! “Well, as the Princess’s Apprentice, I have access to places and folks that most other folk could only dream of. And let me tell you, I’ve seen the Wonderbolts pull some crazy maneuvers…but I don’t think sleeping on a cloud is one of them.”
Rainbow Dash frowned. “What are you implying?”
Twilight shrugged her shoulders, her messed hair bouncing with the motion. “I’m just saying that you do not impress me, Weather Girl, especially with a sky full of clouds and a lot of informed ability.”
Oh, it was most decidedly on, Rainbow Dash decided. “Ten seconds.”
Twilight blinked. “Huh?”
“Start counting…now.” And then Rainbow Dash was gone, straight up like a rocket.
Looking up, Twilight’s eyes went wide as the clouds began to simply vanish from the sky, scattered into evaporating mist by a rainbow colored streak. Keeping count in her head, Twilight made it to eight seconds, before Rainbow Dash floated down, the high afternoon sun shining down and gleaming on her rustling wings and multi-colored hair.
Twilight and Spike were both still staring at the sky, their jaws practically unhinged.
Rainbow Dash’s laughter brought them back from beyond belief, and they looked up to see her circling around above Twilight’s head. “You should see the look on your face. I think that’s a new record! What was that, nine seconds?”
“E-eight…” Twilight stuttered.
Rainbow Dash laughed and floated down to face Twilight, upside down. “I’d never leave Sunnyville hanging.”
Twilight was still staring up at the clear sky. Seeing this, Rainbow Dash scooted closer to her and turned herself around in midair. “You’re pretty okay, Twilight, I can’t wait to hang out some more.”
Rainbow Dash grinned, and then licked the top of her horn from the tip to the base, causing Twilight to go from stiff to trembling by the time she pulled away. “Well, gotta fly, I got more training. Later!”
She turned and zipped off into the sky, Spike watching her go. “Wow, she’s amazing!”
Twilight, her entire face still red, nodded in agreement. “Definitely not like the girls back in Camelot…”
She reached up and touched her horn, and shivered from the rush of sensation it brought. Oh, that Rainbow Dash pushed her buttons just right.
On to the town hall Twilight and Spike went, where they expected to meet with the one in charge of decorations, a Horned Folk by the name of Rarity. On entering the Town Hall, Twilight’s expectations where again surpassed and left shattered by the beauty and splendor of the decor. She had to hand it to Sunnyville, the folk here had some eccentric personalities but they were on task like crazy.
“Beautiful.” Spike said in awe as they walked in.
Twilight was looking at the intricate banners, ribbons, and streams that all sparkled magically. “Yes, the décor is quite pretty. Just check in and we’ll be on our way to the library in no time!”
Spike shook his head. “Not that, her.”
Twilight looked over, and found their target, the elegantly styled and kept Rarity–who was using the magic from her horn to tie up a final ribbon. “Oh yes, that is perfect.”
She checked the expensive-looking watch on her wrist. She was ahead of schedule, too! “Oh Rarity, you are in the zone, as they say!”
Spike was quickly grooming himself, futile as it was, but Twilight handed it to him for aiming high. She certainly didn’t raise any underachiever.
“Good afternoon,” She called to Rarity, “My name is Twilight Sparkle. I’m the Summer Sun Celebration Preparation Overseer from…”
She trailed off, and stopped when Rarity turned and began staring blankly at her. Ah yes, the other shoe had to fall, didn’t it? “Um…okay?”
Rarity spoke. “Oh my stars, please don’t tell me that industrial disaster Pinkie Pie calls a coiffure has caught on.”
Twilight looked up at her hair. “Uh, no, I just had an incident.”
Rarity then looked down. “I see, but there’s no excuse for that sweater vest.”
“What’s wrong with my sweater vest?” Twilight looked down at it. It was in her favorite color and it looked good on her, or so she believed.
Rarity walked over. “A much better question is what isn’t wrong with it? We need to get you into something far more fitting, and something done about that hair!”
Twilight was taken aback. “Wait, but I have a lot of work to do…!”
“Oh, goodness don’t you fret! I offer this service as a service! Folk should not go around looking like you do if they don’t want to!” Rarity declared as she ushered Twilight out.
“Wait, where are we going?” Twilight, tried to get free, but it was not working. “I need an adult, I need an adult!”
“I am an adult, dear.” Rarity replied, and out they went.
Within minutes, Twilight wound up at Rarity’s home and place of business, bent over a sink, with Rarity working shampoo into the nigh unmanageable mess that was her hair with both hands. Spike was standing idly by, too love-struck to do anything but watch Rarity work.
“Your hair is just…oh it is the absolute worst!” Rarity declared as she struggled to work it into a rich lather.
The white horn on her forehead glowing, Rarity levitated a bottle of shampoo and added a little more, working it in and finally succeeding in managing to untangle much of her hair. Twilight had already resigned herself to this, reasoning that she had already wasted time today, and hopefully it would be over after this.
Twilight adjusted the towel that had been draped over her now bare shoulders with her own towel. Rarity had disposed of her sweater vest and blouse, promising to give her something much better to wear. “Tell me, Rarity was it? Do you wash and dress any folk who just happens to be having a bad hair day?”
“My dear, as a connoisseur of fashion and as a Lady, it is my noble duty to tend to the needs of others, and you are truly a girl in need.” Rarity replied as she levitated the sink’s hose over Twilight’s head and began to rinse out the shampoo.
She quickly began to apply conditioner, levitating a team of combs to work it through her hair. “Goodness, now that it’s beginning to agree with me, I must say you have the most dazzling hair. The colors are just a perfect complement to your complexion dear, and your eyes.”
Leaving the combs to work, Rarity dried off her hands and headed for her many racks of clothes. “You just need attire that goes with it. What did you say your name was again?”
“Twilight Sparkle, I’m from–ow!” One of the combs had pulled a little too hard. “I’m from Camelot, on official duty-!”
Rarity gasped. “Camelot? I am so envious! The glamour, the sophistication! I have always dreamed of living there!”
She was excited to know someone from such a nexus of social upward-ness. “Darling, you must tell me all about it!”
“There’s not much I can, I–ow–spent most of the time at the palace–ow–library–ow!” Twilight batted at the combs. “Could you ease up?”
“Oh, no, no, no, there are still tangles and they have to come out.” Rarity said as she held up a plain white button-up shirt. It was too plain, but for this girl it could work, it was just missing something.
She then looked back towards Twilight, surprised even further. “You work at the palace?”
“I’m Princess Celestia’s–ow–apprentice–ow, darn it!” This was worse than when her Mom or the Princess would wash her hair!
Today was just getting better and better for Rarity. “The Princess’s Apprentice, why this is such an honor! Of all the folk from Camelot to come through our sleepy little town today, I have the privilege to meet someone of such status!”
This was swoon worthy, getting close to the Princess’s Apprentice meant getting closer to the Princess, and from there, closer to that man…
“Oh Twilight, I do hope we become the best of friends!” Rarity said as she again rinsed Twilight’s hair and sent the combs through it again. Much to Twilight’s relief, the combs didn’t catch any tangles, and passed through smoothly.
Rarity spotted a brown jacket sitting on a rack, and snapped her fingers. “Yes, that’s perfect!”
The combs finally left her hair alone, and Rarity returned, draping both coat and shirt over a chair. “Now then, let’s get you dried up and styled.”
Twilight stepped back from the sink, and sighed in relief as Rarity brought several blow dryers to bear with her magic and sent them to work. In no time, her hair was dried, brushed, and styled to exactly as it was before her run in with Rainbow Dash, but it was shinier and softer than before, giving off even a sparkle or two.
“It’s amazing…” Twilight said as she examined her hair.
“Of course it is, darling, but I only brought out the beauty it always had. You should take much better care of your hair.” Rarity admonished, before she had a brilliant idea. “Oh, I know, I’d be happy to do your hair again at any time.”
“How generous of you…” Almost too generous, it reminded Twilight of the girls in Camelot, who attempted to get cozy with her for their own ends.
Rarity laughed regally. “Oh think nothing of it, as I said it is my duty as a Lady to tend to the needs of others.”
Twilight finished drying herself off, as Rarity came over with even more clothes, a pair of black shorts and brown leggings. “Here, put these on.”
“Um, okay…” Twilight began to get dressed, and glanced at Spike. “Do you mind?”
Spike was reading Rarity’s portfolio, which was full of her pictured in different dresses. “Nothing I haven’t seen already.”
Twilight rolled her eyes and took off her pants, prompting Rarity to snicker. “My, my, you really do need a wardrobe update. Sun print panties?”
Twilight slapped her hands over her backside, her face red. “They’re my favorite!”
Well, that and Princess Celestia insisted that she wear them, and what kind of apprentice turned down her mist–mentor? Rarity only gave a gentle smile, and Twilight began to smile herself, before both laughed. Without further complaint, she finished dressing and stared at herself in the mirror.
“This is definitely better than my sweater vest.” Twilight admitted.
Rarity, bringing Twilight’s old clothes to her in a small bag, looked at the reflection as well. “Yes, but it is lacking something. I just can’t figure out what.”
She scrutinized the mirror, and then had it. “Of course, it needs a dash of color!”
She quickly went and rummaged around, before returning with a bright red necktie. She put it on Twilight, and snugly fit it into place, before turning to allow her to appraise herself.
Twilight nodded. “Okay, I admit I really like this look. Thanks.”
She checked the clock. “Well, I really have to be going; I have a great deal of work to do.”
Rarity nodded. “Yes, of course. We should meet for tea tomorrow; I just have to hear more about Camelot.”
Using her magic, Twilight lifted Spike over and caught him. “Come on Spike, let’s get going. We have just one more thing to do, and plenty of daylight to burn!”
Spike looked back to Rarity and waved to her. “Call me!”
As they left, Rarity raised an eyebrow. Did that tiny dragon just make a pass at her?
“You have to admit, the look is nice on you.” Spike said as he rode atop the back of Twilight’s duffel bag.
Twilight looked back at him. “But not as nice as Rarity, right?”
Spike heaved a lovesick sigh. “Not even close.”
“She’s out of your league, I’m just warning you.” Twilight said before she checked the list herself. “Finally we have music. That is supposed to be taken care of by a Winged Folk named Fluttershy.”
Twilight stopped. “…Who names their kid Fluttershy?”
She looked to Spike, who shrugged his shoulders, and then kept walking. The path they followed soon left Sunnyville, and reached the edge of the dense and dark Everfree Forest. Twilight knew well of this place, a massive patch of untamed wilderness extending from Sunnyville all the way to Philadelphia that even Princess Celestia chose to never bother with, for some strange reason.
“Yikes.” Spike muttered.
“Just looking at it sends a chill up my spine.” Twilight said, before she looked to her right and saw a homely little cottage built into a fairly large tree.
Oh, there was a fairly large dire badger tearing down a fence to several chicken coops at the side.
“Sweet Celestia it’s a dire badger!” Twilight shouted, and immediately regretted it, as the beast turned its attention from terrified chickens to much meatier prey. “Oops.”
The beast didn’t make a threatening noise or posture, it just charged, it’s very large claws primed to rip its new prey a new one. The speed at which it moved surprised Twilight, but not at all too much, as she quickly used a spell to lift the beast and use its own forward momentum to send it over her head and crashing into a tree.
“Double oops.” She said.
“Good job, Twilight–whoa!” Spike had to hang on tight as Twilight ran as fast as she could for the cottage.
“Dire Badgers go berserk when they are injured, and become much, much harder to injure even with magic!” Twilight quickly explained to her assistant. When Spike looked back, he saw that the badger was now glowing red, foaming at the mouth, and charging after them in an incoherent rage.
“THEN WHY DID YOU INJURE IT!” Spike yelled.
“I didn’t mean to throw it into a tree!”
Leaping over the footbridge that crossed over the creek in front of it, Twilight ran up to the door and slammed into it, before she began pounding on it.
“LET ME IN! LET ME IN! LET ME IN!” She yelled, and only heard the sound of loud music playing in response. Well, at least the music was being worked on.
She turned around, went wide-eyed and ducked underneath the claws of the dire badger, which slammed against the door with enough force to shake the cottage, but not bring down the door. This seemed to only hurt the badger further, and thus infuriate it further.
Twilight stared agape at this. “What is that door made of?”
The dire badger roared in her face, and returned her attention to more pressing concerns. It prepared to swing its claws down to messily eviscerate the horned girl, and Twilight prepared to raise a barrier to protect herself and Spike, when the door suddenly opened and everyone stopped.
The badger looked up, and found a pink-haired, winged folk wearing an oversized yellow sweater and blue jeans. She stared at the creature, and then looked over to the chicken coops, and the terrified chickens running about them in a panic. She then looked at the towering beast, and glared at it.
Twilight could only stare in disbelief as the dire badger, known for its unstoppable fury, became completely struck with fear, and stumbled back from the winged folk. Trembling, and with its claws retracted, the fierce beast turned and fled back towards the forest.
“STOP!”
At the shout of the winged girl, the dire badger did just that, and turned slowly to face her, trembling as it tried to avoid her gaze.
Lifting off her porch on her gently flapping wings, Fluttershy flew over to the badger and hovered before it. Trying hard as it could, there was still no escape from that stare. “You are going to go back and clean up the mess you made, and apologize to the chickens right now!”
The badger, whimpering, quickly nodded to Fluttershy and scrambled over to the chicken coop, where it began crudely putting together the fence it knocked over, while growling the equivalent of tearful apologies to the chickens it had been trying to kill and eat just moments before.
Well! If that was not the most baffling thing Twilight Sparkle had seen all day, and she’d already seen plenty.
“What.”
As the badger whimpered and growled, Fluttershy’s expression became one of surprise. “Oh? Oh my…”
She flew over to the badger, and then sat down. “Mr. Badger, could you please growl for me again?”
The dire badger looked at Fluttershy, confused, and complied with a deep, throaty growl. Hearing the growl, Fluttershy smiled. “Oh yes, that is exactly what I was looking for! Mr. Badger, would you please do me the honor of singing for me? I’m sorely in need of a singing bass, and you’re perfect.”
Pointing at itself, the dire badger growled back unintelligibly. When Fluttershy nodded, the beast looked contemplative, and then pointed at its mouth, indicating hunger. Fluttershy smiled warmly.
“Oh? Of course I’ll get you something to eat, you can’t sing on an empty stomach. Please, come right this way.” With that, Fluttershy led the dire badger by the paw back to the house.
“I have plenty of food, you really should’ve just asked. Do you like steak?” At that, the badger grinned and nodded happily.
Twilight and Spike scooted out of the way, as Fluttershy and the dire badger went inside, the former carrying on. “Oh good, we’ll get you started while I prepare some. You’re going to be perfect for the celebration tomorrow.”
The door closed behind them, leaving Twilight and Spike without Fluttershy having even noticed them. Twilight blinked once, rubbed her eyes, and then blinked again.
“What.”
Shaking her head, Twilight checked her list. “Alright, music preparation is…forget it. It’s fine. Let’s go to the library.”
Spike, as confused as Twilight was, just noted to himself that Fluttershy had breasts nearly as nice as Celestia’s, and stopped worrying about what they just saw.
The sun was beginning to fall by the time Twilight and Spike made it back to Sunnyville and its library. Twilight was just happy the day was over. “Well, today was…interesting…and distracting…but we’ve finally made it to the library and I can actually sit down and do some work. Nightmare Moon is going to appear, and we’re running out of time to warn everyone.”
She opened the door and entered the dark library, setting her duffel bag aside. Spike was right at her side. “It shouldn’t even take me that long, and with the festival coming, no one’s going to even come near the library.”
The lights then came on, revealing the whole house packed with every citizen of Sunnyville. All of whom greeted her with a loud, cheerful…
“SURPRISE!”
None was louder than the Earth Folk who stood at the front of the crowd welcoming Twilight and Spike, the same pink-themed, industrial disaster-haired, army boot wearing Earth Folk whose bizarre behavior set the tone of this bizarre day.
Twilight looked around the crowd, her left eye twitching, as Spike looked up and could not resist. “I wish I had something funnier to say about the irony, but oh well.”
“…F….FFF…” Twilight bit her lower lip as the loud music cut on and everyone began talking and mingling, while saying their greetings to her.
Tilting her head back, she bit her lower lip harder as her cheeks became red with frustration.
“…FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF…!”
“…Fudge brownie? They’re really good, I baked them fresh myself!”
Twilight stopped, and looked at the plate of chocolate desserts the bubbly pinkhead had offered her. The agitation left Twilight almost immediately, as the gesture reminded her that these folk, doomed as they were, were only trying to be nice. Sighing, Twilight took a brownie and had a bite.
As she bit into the brownie (and it was good), the slightly chubby Earth Folk began talking. “It’s good huh? My name’s Pinkie Pie and I threw this party just for you! Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?”
“Yes, I was surprised. Libraries are supposed to be quiet.” Twilight replied.
“Well that’s silly, what kind of welcome party would this be if it were quiet? I mean, duh, BORING.” Pinkie Pie replied.
Twilight silently bemoaned her fate of being doomed to eternal night by Nightmare Moon, until she looked over and saw a table stocked with nothing but alcohol. “Well, may as well.”
Pinkie Pie was still talking as she walked with her straight for the liquor table. “You see, I saw you when you first got here, remember? You were all, hello, and I was all, ‘A stranger, in Sunnyville’, remember?”
“Uh huh.” Twilight replied as she grabbed a red plastic cup and filled it with cranberry juice, and then began pouring in a liberal amount of vodka.
Breathlessly, Pinkie Pie kept going. “You see I never saw you before, and if I never saw you before that means you're new, 'cause I know everybody, and I mean every body in Sunnyville, and if you're new, then it meant you haven't met anyone yet, and if you haven't met anyone yet, you must not have any friends, and if you don't have any friends then you must be lonely!”
Twilight had completely emptied the cup in several gulps, and spied an unlabeled bottle full of a red liquid. Assuming it was tomato juice; she uncapped it and poured it in the cup, then added more vodka. Using her magic, she rounded up the spices that had also been laid out, and dumped them into the cup.
“And that made me so sad, and I had an idea, and that's why I went [gasp], I'll just throw a great big ginormous super-duper spectacular welcome party and invite everyone in Sunnyville!” Pinkie Pie went on, before Twilight finished mixing the cocktail, and promptly knocked it back.
“See? Now you will have lots, and lots of friends!” Pinkie Pie declared, as Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Fluttershy joined the group at the table.
Twilight had stopped drinking, the cup still to her lips, and was staring down into it. Rainbow Dash chuckled. “Wow, pace yourself. The night just started.”
Tears appeared in Twilight’s eyes. Dear Celestia in Camelot, what had she just drunk?
“Uh, are you alright sugar cube?” Applejack asked before Twilight dropped the cup and ran for the stairs trying to scream, but unable to because of the searing heat that was incinerating her throat.
Pinkie Pie cooed. “Aw, she’s so happy she’s crying!”
Rainbow Dash picked up the bottle of “Tomato Juice” and sniffing it, she looked to Pinkie Pie. “She just drank half a bottle of hot sauce.”
Pinkie Pie took the bottle from Rainbow Dash and smiled. “It is the preeminent party prank!”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Ah, indeed.”
“Y’all are just terrible.” Applejack flatly stated.
Hours later, Twilight lay awake in her bed, and stared at the clock. It was just past four in the morning and the party was still going full force. Did any of these folk know how to sleep? This was insane!
Then again, this was the Summer Sun Celebration’s Eve, and everyone needed to be up for the raising of the sun. Well, if it ever came.
She looked out the window, and sighed as she watched the Moon hang quietly in the sky, and for the first time in her twenty-one years, she was afraid of it.
“Upon Equestria, the hateful Moon shone…” She whispered before the door opened, causing her to jump with fright.
Sitting up in bed, she looked down and saw it was Fluttershy. “Oh, uh…”
“Ah? I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean to startle you.” Fluttershy said in a quiet voice Twilight could barely hear over the party. “But your adorable baby dragon wanted me to tell you that it’s almost time for the Princess to raise the sun, and you should wake up or you’re going to miss it.”
Twilight sighed and got up. “You didn’t startle me, and I didn’t sleep much. I can barely think with all this noise.”
She climbed down. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, you’re Fluttershy right?”
Fluttershy nodded. “Oh yes, Spike told me all about you. I’m sorry I didn’t stop to say anything before, but Mr. Badger had such a wonderful voice, I guess I was just mesmerized.”
This was the girl who stared a dire badger into submission? Twilight was shocked that she was so quiet. “It’s alright, there are no hard feelings.”
“Oh, then I’m glad. I really wanted to get to know you better, and I was afraid that gave all gave you a bad impression. I also wanted to apologize; you looked upset earlier about the party. Pinkie Pie means well, and she’s a very nice girl. So please don’t hold it against her.” Fluttershy continued.
“No need to worry about that, I understand you all just wanted to throw a welcome party.” Twilight sighed again and put on a smile. “This town is full of eccentric folk, but they’re not bad at all, no.”
The two headed out into the emptying library, and Twilight looked to Fluttershy. “So…how did you tame that dire badger, anyway?”
“Oh? Well…eep!” At that moment, Rainbow Dash swooped down over them, licking the top of Twilight’s horn as she buzzed over them.
“Ah! Hey!” Twilight, her face in full blush, shook her fist at Rainbow Dash. “You shameless deviant!”
Fluttershy just smiled a little. “Rainbow Dash does that to every Horned Folk she likes.”
Twilight smiled back to Fluttershy, her blush cooling. “I figured that.”
There was a huff from Rarity, as she joined them outside. She turned her nose up when Rainbow Dash circled around them. “That Rainbow Dash, so unrefined, so wild. She’ll sneak up on you to get her little jollies.”
Twilight looked to Fluttershy and pointed to Rarity’s horn, Fluttershy nodded, and Twilight giggled. Rainbow Dash, coming in low, did a one-finger stand off the end of Rarity’s horn.
“Oh don’t be such a prude, Rare. You know you like it~!” She laughed and zipped off when Rarity shooed her away.
“Quit yer buzzing around like a danged fool, Dash.” Applejack, Spike, and Pinkie Pie joined the group.
“This is going to be so great!” Pinkie Pie declared. “Enjoying the longest day–and party–of the year with friends old and new, is there anything better?”
“Sure ain’t!” Applejack replied.
As the girls laughed and bantered, Spike looked over to Twilight. “Well, at least you did what Princess Celestia said, right?”
Twilight looked amongst the five girls she met today and shrugged her shoulders. Spike did have a point, odd as they were, all these girls were pretty cool, and she’d probably consider them friends. Who knew? Maybe that was Celestia’s answer to the Nightmare Moon problem.
Twilight stopped, her eyes widening in realization. Just as quickly though, she dismissed it.
“…Nah, that’s ridiculous.” She mumbled to herself as she looked up at the Moon. “It’s just an Old Wives’ Tale and nothing else. That’s why the Princess told me not to worry.”
“Dear, is everything okay?” Rarity asked as she and the others looked back to Twilight.
Twilight looked to the others, and smiled. “No, I just got lost in thought. Come on, let’s go!”
“I never get lost in thought, I always leave breadcrumbs so I can find my way back out!” Pinkie Pie revealed.
Rainbow Dash boasted as she buzzed over the group again. “I have no time to get lost in thought, myself.”
Rarity didn’t hesitate to strike. “Darling, you don’t have any thoughts to get lost in.”
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash half-laughed half-shouted.
“Oh, don’t get so defensive. You know you like it~!” Rarity teased as they finally reached the town hall and entered.
None noticed four gleaming stars in the sky slowly drawing towards the Moon, and vanishing behind it.
All of Sunnyville was gathered in the Town Hall, Earth Folks and Horned Folks milled about on the floor, while Winged Folk kept themselves aloft with their steadily flapping wings. At the front of the crowd, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Spike were waiting for the festivities to begin. Rarity had gone to prepare for Princess Celestia’s entrance, while Fluttershy was leading her choir of various animals–including that dire badger–and Applejack went to check on the spread for the feast.
Pinky Pie was, well… “Isn't this exciting? Are you excited, 'cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited, well, except for that time that I saw you walking into town but I mean really, who can top that?”
Twilight was a little flattered. Rainbow Dash agreed. “I have to admit, Pinkie, it was love at first sight!”
Twilight blushed. “Hey!”
Spike was all smiles; Twilight wasn’t worrying about Nightmare Moon or anything serious like that. She was making friends and enjoying herself by means other than reading a book or that loud buzzing thing she seemed to really like using before going to sleep–whatever that was.
The crowd quieted down, when Fluttershy’s animal choir sang the opening fanfare for the Mayor of Sunnyville.
“Ladies and Gentlefolk! As mayor of Sunnyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!” The Mayor of Sunnyville, a graying Earth Folk, addressed to the cheering crowd.
The Mayor gestured to the Eastern sky. “In just a few moments our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year. And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the Goddess who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria…Princess Celestia!”
Backstage, as the fanfare played and spotlights shined down, Rarity pulled the curtains and opened them to reveal…nothing. The music stopped, the folk gasped, and confusion settled upon the Town Hall.
The fear that Twilight felt when she looked at the Moon earlier suddenly returned with greater intensity than before. “This isn’t right.”
“Everyone calm down, there has to be a logical explanation for this.” The Mayor called.
Pinkie Pie hummed. “Perhaps she’s hiding? Like hide and seek?”
It was Rarity who made the chilling discovery after checking backstage. “She’s gone!”
Pinkie Pie hummed. “A skilled master of the art, I see.”
Rarity screamed, and scrambled away from the stage as a cloud the color of the starry night swirled into existence in the middle of the lit stage. The Mayor too quickly got clear as the cloud began to spill over the edges of the stage like smoke hugging the floor.
As the audience backed away from the expanding miasma, Twilight Sparkle trembled in fear as pure black wings spread from the center of the cloud, and the pale-skinned woman in midnight blue armor connected to them stood. The starry cloud spread from under her helmet…like the glorious Technicolor hair of Princess Celestia.
“Nightmare Moon.” Twilight squeaked, as Spike fainted from disbelief.
“Ah…after one thousand years, I’m free.” Nightmare Moon purred as she looked across the crowd. She smiled sardonically upon them. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious little sun-kissed faces.”
Rainbow Dash pointed at Nightmare Moon. “Alright lady, I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to tell us what happened to our Princess!”
Before she could try to attack, Applejack quickly blocked her. “Hold your horses! That ain’t just some run of the mill varmint!”
“Where is your Princess? She’s right here, or has my imprisonment invalidated my rule? Am I no longer worthy to be considered Princess of Equestria?” She asked as she walked off the stage, and walked across the air towards Twilight and Pinkie Pie.
“Has my sister besmirched my name so that I’m a forgotten taboo?” She stopped and stared directly down at Twilight.
Her legs shaking, Twilight stared back at Nightmare Moon. “The bringer of Equestria’s eternal night, the prophecy was true.”
“At least one of you is wise enough to recognize my grandeur. Oh big sister…you did well to erase me from the memory of the folk.”
She raised her hand up and closed it into a fist. “I will make you suffer for it.”
Twilight’s eyes widened, as the long black horn sticking from Nightmare Moon’s forehead began to glow. “Wait…”
She looked around at all the folk in the room. “…You…you wouldn’t!”
“Cherish this light, my ignorant little subjects.” Nightmare Moon declared as her horn shone brighter. “For it is the last you will ever see!”
Twilight’s own horn began to glow, as she rushed straight for Nightmare Moon. “NO!”
A massive column of light, visible in distant Camelot, rose from Sunnyville, followed by a tremendous, explosive roar that it created.
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...DUUUUUUUUUDE. WHY ISN'T THIS FEATURED AT EVERY SINGLE MOMENT?
No, seriously, I loved it. Fan-flipping-tastic. You made Applejack into a (supposedly) former soldier, turned RD's 'ten seconds flat' into something even more awesome, almost perfectly outlined Rarity's ambitions, turned Fluttershy into a badass, and Pinkie...
...Was Pinkie, I guess.
5/5 stars, faved, tracked.
"transformed her into a wicked mare of darkness"
Mare?
Am I detecting some rainbow lesbian? Oh please! Why?! I can only give you 4 out of 5. Can't impress everyone! I really have to shut up at times...
Before vowels and the letter H, one uses mine and an. Average-Sized should be hyphenated; it is a compound adjective. The complete title should be Mine Average-Sized Human.
2227748
You're right about the hyphenation, but not about "my" versus "mine" (or "a" versus "an", for that matter). "My" is an attributive pronoun (it directly modifies a noun), whereas "mine" is a predicative pronoun (it is used as a predicate); pronunciation has nothing to do with it. Thus, "this is my apple" versus "this apple is mine". So "My Average-Sized Human" would be the correct name (just as "My Little Pony" is completely correct).
As for "a" versus "an", usage is based purely on pronunciation: "a" is used before consonantal sounds, whereas "an" before vowel sounds (regardless of how the sounds are spelled), yielding "a car", "a unicorn", "a horn", "an hour", "an apple", "an umbrella".
Neat spell.
I think you mean Fillydelphia.
It is hilarious.
Oh my...
This is the greatest.
Quite.
Yep.
Dunno.
Nice priorities.
Curse these Folk, they drive me to the drink.
Yep.
I see...
*grimly* Eeyup.