Chapter 13
Miss Cheerilee opens the door to the newspaper’s printing room for us and ushers us inside. “Here it is, girls. This is where the magic of the school’s newspaper takes place. Writing, editing, printing, and accounting. All of that takes place in this one room.”
So this is the school’s newspaper room. It’s… a lot smaller than I thought. And why do I, the boss, have to sit in the same room as everypony else while I work? With all this messy ink and dusty old magazines around. This stuff better not stain my coat.
“Would you like me to show you how the machines work?” Miss Cheerilee asks.
“Not really,” I say as I walk over to my new desk. “I’m the editor-in-chief, right? That means all I need to know is how to tell everypony to do their job. Which I already know how to do anyway.”
“Well, there’s more to it than that,” Miss Cheerilee says. “You also have to show your colleagues respect and work well together as part of a team.” Colleagues? Team? I’m the boss. The boss is above everypony else. The boss’ job is to tell everypony what to do and give them a pat on the back for a job well done, and a pay cut when they do a bad job.
“Why is this room so small?” A good question Silver Spoon.
“I’m surprised we even have this room in the first place,” Alula says. “Doesn’t the school get, like, so little funding they can’t even afford a new water fountain?” You’re still on about that?
“The school’s newspaper isn’t actually funded by the school,” Miss Cheerilee says. “It was originally started by a student ten years ago, in his own bedroom, on a dusty old typewriter from an older generation. He gathered stories from around the town and printed papers, then shared them with students at the school.”
“For free?” I ask. That’s just crazy!
“At first.” THAT’S CRAZY! “But when he saw how popular his paper was, he began to sell them for a single bit per paper. When he had saved enough money, he bought some new equipment, and asked his friends to help his paper grow larger than ever. I was so impressed with their effort that I loaned them this old storage room that was no longer in use and put some of my own money forward to purchase some new equipment.”
“Wait. You paid for all of this yourself?” Alula asks.
“Not entirely,” Miss Cheerilee answers. “My friends chipped in a little bit, too. But yes, when I saw how interested my students were becoming in my student’s newspaper, both reading it and running it, I decided to take it as a chance to help them gain some real world experience, and thus, the school’s newspaper club was born!”
“Why do we only sell the papers for two bits though?” Silver Spoon asks. Oh, my dear, naïve little Silver Spoon. It seems there are still some areas where I outshine even you.
“The market for the paper is very small, directed only towards the foals at this school. Nopony else really pays the paper much attention. And unlike us, the foals here only get so much allowance from their parents. If the price was too high, then the papers wouldn’t sell as much.”
“But we’d still make more money ‘cause the price is higher, right?” Alula asks.
“Think of it this way then: one company sells their paper at two bits each, whilst another sells at five. The first company sells ten papers because of their cheaper price, whilst the second turns so many ponies away they only sell two. Which company makes the bigger profit?”
“The first.” Just like Silver Spoon to do quick math in her head and answer in the matter of a second. “Even though they sell for less, they make more overall because they sell more.”
“That’s correct,” Miss Cheerilee says as she claps her hooves together in that strange, excited way she does whenever somepony answers a question correctly. I actually almost forgot she was there. “And can any of you tell me why the price for the paper was increased from one bit to two bits?”
“More money?” Alula says.
“That’s right, but-”
“It is to get more money, but the overall profits probably remain the same,” I say. In fact, looking through this record book, it seems this newspaper doesn’t make any profits at all. It’s actually losing money. I’m starting to regret volunteering for this position, but if I can turn this sad, failure of a business into something big and grand, I might be able to get daddy to buy me that new dress I saw in Canterlot. “Because there are more typewriters, the cost of the ink increased too, so the price of the paper had to be increased to break-even. Not that it seems to be working.”
“Well, that’s where the three of you come in,” Miss Cheerilee says. “Give it your best girls!”
“Oh, we’re not joining the newspaper thingy,” Silver Spoon says. “Diamond said she wanted to do this on her own.”
“Oh? Why is that?” I don’t really see how that’s any of your business, but…
“I just want to show daddy that I can do what he does.”
“Besides, there’s not much we can do here anyway,” Silver Spoon continues. “All the manager-type stuff is being done by Diamond, and I am not getting my coat anywhere near those filthy machines.”
“I personally wouldn’t mind,” Alula says, “But if Diamond wants to do this alone, I guess that’s cool. I’ll still help ya out by tipping you off to neat stories and stuff.”
“Like that ‘UFO’ that you saw last week?” The one that of course turned out to just be a balloon reflected in a store window.
“I’m telling you, they’re out there! But I’ll try to keep it simple, since there’ll be underclassponies reading this.”
Miss Cheerilee walks up to Alula and puts a hoof on her shoulder. “Yes, well, perhaps you should just stick to simply reporting happenings within the school for now?” As if. I’m going to make this paper big! “Now then, how about we go and meet the ponies you’ll be working with?”
“Well, it looks like you’ll have a lot of work to do,” Silver Spoon says. “Let’s meet at my place later, okay?”
“You bet.” I put down the record book and follow Miss Cheerilee. “See you later. I’ll let you know all about how it feels being the pony in charge.”
Silver Spoon’s room is a lot different from both mine and Diamond’s. There’s a lot more breakable, expensive-looking stuff in it, for starters, which makes me very nervous. The colour scheme is really… what’s the word? ‘Vintage’? Yeah, it’s like something from the era that Princess Victoria was married to Princess Celestia.
And what’s with this movie? There’s a lot of big words in it and the characters are just being so stupid. This guy, I think, thinks that his girlfriend cheated on him so he’s now trying to kill the dude he think she was kissing. Why not just sit down and talk about it like reasonable adults? Or hire a private investigator or something?
And this girl trying to split up the fight ran in-between the two guys as they were swinging their swords. Why not throw something or shout real loud to catch their attention, instead of throwing herself into a situation guaranteed to get her killed?
Of course, I can’t ask Silver Spoon why because every time I do, she just says that I’m simply too young to understand the complexities of the pony mind, or something like that.
“Silver, I can’t understand what they’re saying.”
“I already turned on the subtitles. What more do you want?”
A different movie, perhaps? “Can’t we just watch cartoons? I think the new My Small Squirrel is on now.”
“I watched that yesterday.”
“So did I, but at least I can understand what the characters are saying.” I hear a knock at the door suddenly. “Oh, Di’s here!” I jump up and run towards the door, only to feel something pulling at my tail and to trip over onto my face. “Ow…”
“I’ll get it. We don’t want you getting lost again.” It only happened twice, y’know… “Besides, you’re the guest here. Just sit here and enjoy the movie.” I can’t. I don’t even know what’s going oooooon…
Silver Spoon leaves the room. I turn my attention towards the movie on her television screen. They say a few things… and I’m done. I can’t keep up with what they’re saying at all. What, was this movie made back in Ye Olde Equestria or something?
I wonder what else Silver Spoon has around here? Everything just looks so fragile… and so expensive… and Silver Spoon isn’t really somepony I wanna be in debt to.
And then there’s her pet hamster, who of course picks now of all times to be asleep, so I can’t even play with him. “C’mon Chappy,” I call out to the snoozing fuzzball. “Stop being boring and do something already.” He lets out a long yawn… and then does nothing else. Well, I guess that’s my fault for not being more specific.
“And then I showed Miss Cheerilee our sales figures and she was, like, totally impressed!” That voice! She’s here! The door opens, and in walks Diamond Tiara. “She gave me a gold star and said she’d tell daddy how well I’ve been do- Oof!”
“Oh yeah,” Silver Spoon says as I hug my Diamond Tiara, “Alula’s here, too.”
“So I noticed!” Diamond puts her forelegs around me to hug me back, and I let go after a few more seconds. “So, what did you both think of the new Foal Free Press?”
“It was great!” I answer, and it really was! That article about Snips and Snails being stuck together was simply hilarious! “Who’s Gabby Gums, though?”
“It’s those three blank flanks,” Diamond says. “For once, they’re actually doing something right. Though it took a little pep talk from yours truly to get their butts into gear and come up with a story with talking about.”
“So they’re not holding you back?” Silver Spoon asks as the three of us sit down in the centre of the room.
“Actually, they’re the star reporters of the paper!” Wow. Diamond’s actually complimenting the Crusaders. I think it might rain tonight. “I guess I must be a better boss than I first thought.”
“Well, it certainly seems like things a going well for you,” Silver Spoon says.
“I’ll say,” I add. “How much have you made exactly from all those sales?”
“That’s the best part,” Diamond says with a grin. “Even after deducting the cost for the ink and repairing one of the broken typewriters, we still made a profit of ten bits!”
“… That’s all?” Silver Spoon asks.
“When you consider the school’s paper was losing about ten bits per issue printed, it’s a huge improvement! And that’s only the beginning. I plan to have Gabby Gums release more stories about ponies’ private lives, and make this paper the biggest selling newspaper in all of Ponyville!”
“Not just the school?” I ask. “Would grown-ups even be interested in it?”
“They will be, trust me. Take a look at this.” Diamond pulls some kind of folder out of her bag and opens it up. Inside are photographs and sheets of paper. “These are just some of the stories I’ll be printing in the paper, thanks to the snooping work of the Crusaders and Featherweight.” Did I hear that right? ‘Crusaders’, and not ‘blank flanks’?
Silver Spoon picks up a photo and giggles to herself. I’ll admit, some of these are pretty funny. Like this one. “‘Pinkie Pie – the out of control party animal’? So true. ‘Time Turner – where does he keep running off to’. ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’s secrets revealed’… Isn’t there a rule against revealing a magician’s secrets?”
Diamond waves her hoof dismissively. “What’s she gonna do, make the school’s paper disappear?”
“Aren’t some of these a little too personal?” Silver Spoon asks. “Like, should you really be revealing that Miss Cheerilee was kissing Pinch’s mum?”
“… You’re right,” Diamond says as she takes the photograph from Silver’s hoof. “Miss Cheerilee would kick me out of the newspaper club if she saw that. Better burn it and tell Featherweight to leave her be.”
Hey… this photo of Miss Fluttershy, wearing tail extensions? That seems a little… “Di, you’re not gonna print this one, are you?”
“Well of course I am,” Diamond says as she swipes the photo from me. “The ponies of this town want to know what their neighbours are doing behind closed doors, and that’s exactly what I’m going to give them! Like my daddy and my uncle say: ‘the customer is always right’!” Diamond rises to her hooves and turns towards the door. “Please excuse me,” she says. That means she needs to use the restroom.
“Hey.” Silver turns to face me. “Aren’t some of these stories a little extreme?”
Silver scratches her head as she looks down at the photos spread across the floor. “Well, some of them are a little out there, but she’s got a point. If the customers want gossip, then they can’t really complain when that’s what they get.”
“But some of this gossip just seems too… personal.” Wait, that photo there… It can’t be. It is. “There’s something here about me. And something about you, too.”
“There is?” Silver takes the photo quickly and gasps as she looks at it. “W-Why does she have a photo like this?!” Yikes, I’ve never seen her so panicked. Whatever that photo is, I wanna see it more closely. It’s about time I had some dirt on this pony.
“H-Hey, I’m sure she doesn’t intend to use it. Remember it’s not Di collecting all of this information.”
“But still, to see that my most personal secret is ready to be printed and shown to the entire town…”
The two of us remain silent. Time passes, with neither of us saying a word. Finally, Diamond returns. “I’m back. Did I miss anything.”
“… No,” Silver Spoon says, not looking up from the floor.
I look up at Diamond Tiara and slowly nod my head. “Yeah, nothing…” She sits down and continues to brag about the success of the school’s newspaper… whilst Silver Spoon continues to stare absentmindedly at the floor, the photograph still in her hoof.
Those stupid blank flanks. And just when I was starting to gain a little respect for them, too. I knew they wouldn’t last, though, and that’s why I held onto those photos that Featherweight gave to me. I guess my uncle’s teachings proved helpful in this situation. Gather as much dirt on an enemy or potential enemy as you can, and you will deny them the first move. Now, they’re mine.
“Diamond?” Silver Spoon? And Alula? “Can we talk to you for a second?”
“Sure you can.” I’m pretty much done here today anyway, and I need some way to calm down after those stupid blank flanks tired to walk out on me like that. “Here to congratulate me on another job well done? I’ll admit, after two waves of papers suddenly disappeared, I was worried that this issue wouldn’t sell well enough to cover our losses. But I did it.” I still have no idea what happened to those two issues, though. The Trixie article and the Rainbow Dash article papers just seemed to suddenly pop out of existence from every news stand in Ponyville.
“Di, we passed the Crusaders on the way in here,” Alula says. “They looked pretty upset. What happened?”
“Oh, them.” Bunch of cry-babies, that’s all they are. “They tried to leave. Something about how the newspaper was ‘insensitive’, and ‘immoral’. But no worries. I handled it quite expertly, if I do say so myself.”
“How did you do that?” Silver asks.
“Simple. I showed them some photos that they really don’t want spreading around the town. My uncle calls it ‘insurance’.”
“The law calls it ‘blackmail’, and it’s illegal.” What’s with that sudden serious tone in her voice?
“Illegal? It’s just a school newspaper.” What’s with that look Silver Spoon’s giving me. “What’s up?”
“… Diamond, I… I think that… what you’re…”
“We don’t agree with your methods!” Alula shouts. I turn to her and she quickly shakes her head. “S-Sorry, I didn’t mean to shout. It’s just, I know you’re just trying to do a good job and impress everypony, but I think that you’re really hurting some ponies, and-”
“Ugh, what is with everypony in this crazy town?! First you crave the desirable gossip column known as ‘Gabby Gums’, now suddenly it’s wrong to post those stories?”
“We just think you should ease off a bit,” Silver Spoon says. “And maybe… try to post other, less harmful stories, from time-to-time?”
“And lose all the good business we’ve been getting? Oh, sure, and at the same time, why don’t we stop printing at all because we’re cutting down trees in order to make the paper we print our stories on?” Honestly, am I the only one using my brain around here? “Look, this isn’t some make-believe, kiddy newspaper game here! I’m running the second-most successful newspaper in town right now, and I’m just one more big sale away from reaching the top! If a few ponies feel hurt by the stories we publish, then too bad!”
… Do the two of you understand now? Got nothing more to add? Good.
“That’s…” Never mind. It looks like Alula still has something to say. “That’s not right… That’s not how real business should be done, and you of all ponies should know that!”
“You’re telling me about business?” Oh, this is amusing. “I’m sorry, but whose Cutie Mark here represents good leadership?”
“That’s what I’m saying! As a good leader, you should know that this isn’t how you-”
“Enough!” I slam my hooves onto my desk. I’m getting tired of this conversation. “You know, I thought you two had come here to congratulate me and ask me to hang out or something, not to give me a lecture and try to tell me of all ponies how to do my job.”
“Diamond, we were just-” Save it, Silver Spoon.
“Get out, now. I have lots of work to do.”
“But Di-” No, Alula! Not another word!
“Out!”
… Both of them finally turn around and leave the room. Finally, I can have some peace and quiet. Maybe I’ll look over the record book one more time. Let’s see, today’s figures show that… Water? Where’d that drop of water come from?
… Why does my face feel wet?
I can’t believe we’re about to do this. I can’t believe it came to this at all. What’s happened to Diamond? When did my sweet, caring Diamond turn into such a ruthless boss?
“I’ve got the photos,” Silver says as she approaches me from Diamond’s front lawn. “Thankfully Mr. Rich was more than happy to share some family memories with me.”
“Are we really going to do this? Isn’t there another way?” I still don’t want to do this to Diamond…
“I know how you feel, trust me. But we’ve tried talking to her, and that didn’t work.”
“Why was she like that, anyway? What’s happened to her?”
… Well? Why aren’t you answering me. “She…” She what? “I guess she’s just caught up in the excitement of finally being in charge of an actual business, even if it’s just the school’s newspaper. I’ve seen it all the time in movies. It’s called ‘going mad with power’, and usually, the only way to make it stop is to either remove that power, or show her what she’s left behind.”
“But what we’re doing is different.”
Silver Spoon nods. “We’re in a special situation. She doesn’t understand what kind of damage she’s doing to ponies because she herself has never been on the receiving end of it. Remember back at my house? I was all for Diamond’s methods, until I saw the photo she had of me.”
“Yeah, I noticed you were pretty out of it then.” Wait, so is she saying… “So if we show Diamond what it’s like to have her most embarrassing secret be revealed…”
“Hopefully it won’t come to that. Hopefully the power should be in the threat, but if it comes down to it… I don’t know if I can actually bring myself to embarrass my best friend like that.”
“I can’t either.” There’s no way I could betray my fillyfriend like that, even if she is being a little… mean, lately. “I hope this works.”
“Me too…” We both take deep breaths to ready ourselves, and then turn around to head towards the school.
“Di!” W-What’d Diamond doing here? “Did the newspaper meeting get out early?”
“No. I did,” she says as she stomps towards us. “Stupid Miss Cheerilee demoted me for ‘abusing my power’ or whatever, and expected me to write on one of those filthy old typewriters. Like I would ever do something so menial and degrading, so I got out of there as quickly as I could.”
So… she was kicked out of her position as boss? But she seemed so excited to…
“I don’t get it, I- Hey!” I lean forward and nuzzle Diamond’s cheek, only for her to back away and glare at me. She must be really depressed right now. I’d better save it for later. “As I was saying, I don’t get it! I did exactly what my daddy does, and I used the advice my uncle gave me! I was making huge profits, and those stupid blank flanks were a hit because of me! What went wrong?”
“… Maybe,” Silver begins, “Maybe ruthless business tactics aren’t your style? I always thought grace and charm was more you, anyway.”
I nod my head, though I’m not sure I fully understand it, to be honest. “Maybe you were trying too hard to be like your uncle, when what you should have done was follow your own heart.”
“Hey, that actually sounded pretty good,” Silver Spoon says.
“I have my moments. Anyway, I think for now, somepony could do with some ice-cream.” That’s right. Diamond’s upset right now, so our first priority should be cheering her up!
“Hmph! No thanks!” Diamond says as she turns around. “I’m in the mood to watch a movie. Let’s go to the cinema before it closes.” She takes one step forward, before turning back to look at us. “Now.”
Silver and I exchange happy glances before following after Diamond Tiara. For now, I’ll just stay right here by her side. When you need a shoulder to lean on, Diamond, I’ll be right here for you.
Thanks to Blue_Paladin42 for pre-reading and helping me out 
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I want to know what those photos were of.
Well now.
2996006
As for the photos of Diamond Tiara, I'm betting on either potty-training or playing in a mud puddle. And enjoying it.
Wait... does this share continuity with Trix/Dash?
Then again, if it did it'd be out of timeline...
Yeah, now I"m starting to think DT's the delusional one.
2996611
It doesn't share any continuity with TrixDash.
Apparantely the episode Magic Duel was originally meant to be a S2 ep. If this is true, then Trixie's namedrop in Ponyville Confidential, at the end of S2, suddenly makes sense. It's unlikely the CMC would go out of their way to find her and write an article about her, meaning she's still in Ponyville doing her shows after MD.
The comics seem to support this theory, and a recent Q&A panel revealed taht ideas for comics aren't used if the conflict with show canon, current or planned, meaning if Trixie performing her shows in Ponyville was problematic to show canon, it would not have been included. There's also her card listing her location as Ponyville.
Basically, from the look of things it's likely that Trixie is currently residing in Ponyville and has revived her travelling act in canon, so unless an episode comes out to contradict that, that's the canon I'm going with. Of course my intention was to not include Trixie in this fic as much as possible, as it is a fic about DT and Alula and not her. But when her name is mentioned in the episode the chapter is based off of, I just had to work it in somehow :P
2996611
There talking about the two different issues from the episode itself.
2996934 I got that, but I thought it implied that Dash and Trixie were working together to remove those papers.
And cue Celestia storming past them into the schoolhouse screaming something incoherent about 'cake' and 'diet'.
DT: "We should probably leave..."
2996939
Huh. Dunno bout the Trixie one but I think I remember dash trying to take all of the ones dealing with her so no one could read it.
Diamond Tiara learning her lesson?
Diamond Tiara is always right.
What was that photo with SS and Alula? I NEED TO KNOW.
2997323
Considering things, she probably just did was Dash did and got as many copies of the paper as she could before getting the hell out.
2996939
Aah, I thought you were questioning why Trixie was there in the first place.
They might have been working together, or they might have just been working seperately to save themselves, interpet it however you wish
"Ponyville Confidential" is my favourite episode involving Diamond Tiara, so I was looking forward to this chapter! It's very interesting to see your take on Diamond Tiara's thoughts here, and how her friends react. It really was a change in this episode that DT actually seemed to like the Crusaders - as long as they were doing what she wanted. I like the fact that Silver Spoon and Alula agreed that she was going too far and needed to be stopped - for her own good as well as everypony else's.
Wait, what?