Lessons we learned on this episode:

-If you get away scott-free, don't go back to re-crime the place

-If the lock on your door is broken, get it fixed

-You can scam dudes out of money for false promises of sex(not really a lesson learned)

-Don't sexually harass anybody, especially when you're on a flight

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A few lessons we have learned form today's episode:

-Just because the old drugs still work does not that give anyone an excuse to use them.

-If you make a bomb threat in an airport, you go on a forever list.

-If you think the Uber driver is going too slow, maybe ask them to speed up, don't steal their car.

This past week had some weird stories, mostly involving Florida man.

The lessons we learned this episode:

-If you're going to be playing Santa and delivering presents, sobriety is key.

-Don't steal a Baby Jesus from a Nativity scene and try to hold it for ransom on tiktoc.

-The people at Bass Pro Shop aren't trained to stop someone from stealing a fish from the store.

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The life lessons we learned this week:

-If you're going to steal a yacht, know what the hell you are doing or you are very likely to just float right into the cops.

-If you unlawfully enter into a bank that is unlocked, make your arrest mean something. You don't want to be the guy sitting in jail who broke into an unlocked bank and got nothing out of it, steal a desk or something.

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Lessons we learned this week:
-Don't go to a Porsche dealership with a phony check in Indiana, that only seems to work in Florida
-Don't make a fake injury claim and sue. But if you do, commit to the bit.
-Apparently pilots will draw dicks in the sky with their flight path and some of them are really good at it

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This week's life lessons learned:

-Don't go to an illegal car meetup. There is a high likelihood you'll get arrested. Though props to this guy to give the cops something to talk about for a long while.

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Guest co-host for this week-Linkara.

Life lessons we learned this week:

-If your kid keeps insisting they're hearing mobsters in their closet, carefully investigate it, there might be bees. Also, dear sweet evil Jesus! That's a lot of bees!

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This week's lessons learned:

-UK McDonald's, I see your intent, but maybe work on your execution a bit.

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This week Lewis Lovhauh AKA Linkara is filling in for Tara this week.

This week the life lessons learned:

-Apparently you can be the victim of a hit-and-run at sea. If you're the skipper of a ship and hit another vessel, maybe stop where you are and wait for the authorities.

-There's a lot of choices for a mask when choosing to rob a place. Underwear is not one of them.

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This week's life lessons learned:

-If you work in law enforcement, don't consume intoxicating substances while on the job, it might lead to you carrying out actions that will lead to you getting arrested...actions such as releasing prisoners.

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This week's life lessons learned:

-Don't attempt to smuggle tobacco and meth into a federal prison using a T-shirt canon. Smuggling is bad, mm-kay. Meth is bad, mm-kay. The federal prison staff don't like that, they will call the federal cops, and you will go to federal jail.

-Don't ask kids if they want to be kidnapped. You might as well be shouting at the top of your lungs, "I want the police to come and arrest me!"

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Life lessons learned this week:

-When working at a research facility that has monkeys, please make sure that you properly close and secure all doors, or else the monkeys will escape.

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Life lessons learned this week:

-Don't steal someone's car. Definitely don't use a stolen car to commit another crime. Also, if you awn a car, don't leave your keys in the ignition.

-Don't break into places. Though I've gotta give it to the old guy, I'm, 45 and don't have that kind of energy.

-CrowdStrike should offer more than some $10 gift cards to people that were effected by the outage.

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Tara was unable to co-host due to a power outage, so Luke was able to step in. Normally when Luke co-hosts, there's a lot of poop stories, fortunately(or unfortunately, depending on who you ask) there's no poop stories.

This week's life lessons learned are:

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This week's life lessons learned:

-Keep an eye on your crotch goblins or they may very well steal your car. Though this kid kinda, sorta had a good reason.

-Don't make fun of people with Down's Syndrome. Nobody will feel bad when you get your ass kicked.

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The life lessons we learned this week:

-Cicadas are loud. This year is a rarity, multiple cicada broods have emerged, something that hasn't happened since 1803. The police are powerless to stop horny insects.

-Don't smuggle drugs of any kind. Drugs are bad. Mm-Kay? If you are going to smuggle drugs in your car, obey all the traffic laws so you don't get pulled over. Also: Holy shit! That's a lot of heroin!

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The life lessons learned this week:

-If you've gotten pulled over and are about to get arrested, just let them put the cuffs on you and quietly get into the car. Don't jump off a bridge into the river. That's called resisting arrest and it will make your inevitable court case that much harder.

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Life lessons we learned this week:

-I'm not mad, I'm actually impressed. I just want to know how he managed to get that trailer stuck like that.

-Don't write and electronically deposit phony checks, then withdraw the money, that's bank fraud. The FBI will arrest you and you will go to federal jail. Also, the government hates competition.

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This week's life lessons learned:

-If there is snow where you happen to be, don't do donuts on the road. Intentionally going round and round in circles with your vehicle+frozen water on the road=crash.

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Every year Nash and Tara do the rectalspective where they go a handful of objects people got stuck in their various orifices listed on this site here.

The ultimate life lesson is, when going to the ER because you got something stuck in your orifice, tell the nurses the truth about why. If you make up some stuff, they won't believe you.