As of today, I'm twenty-six years old, but this isn't a blog about that. That'd be boring.

So here's a free comic about Trixie, and Starlight Glimmer. Mostly Trixie. Happy birthday to me.

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I watched the sun rise at midnight.

I watched an impossible dawn.

I watched an explosion so far away it took half a minute for me to hear it and it still rattled my bones.

I watched as, for the first time, humanity reached a milestone on a quest to live on other worlds.

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These are the Shadowbolts. The one with silver-blue hair and orange-ish glasses is my next waifu.

Something that might surprise most of you is that, when I try to humblebrag, I barely talk about the obscene size of my penis. There is nothing humble about it. It’s just generally a great thing.

No, what I always talk about is the fact that—and this is true, fucking warped as it sounds—even though I am the dumbest motherfucker on this website? I sometimes need to put, like, real effort into convincing my readers that my prose is shit.

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Well, there are eleven days left for the deadline of the contest (remember: February 2nd), and so far we have one submission and sixty-seven goddamn applications.

Jesus fuck, my judges are going to die. I ain't, however. You can't kill what's already dead, and -- well, y'all read the berry blog already. Some things, a man can't come back from. I think biologically you can't classify me as human anymore. Gagh.

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So here's a thing.

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I have entertained the idea of doing story reviews many times – mostly because there are a lot of talented people in this website, and I always thought that spending twelve thousand words relentlessly sucking King of Beggar’s cock in public sounds like an ideal Saturday. Sadly, I never started that project. Instead, I chose to befriend King of Beggars, and then proceeded to relentlessly suck his cock

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Before I get to my point, gonna take a quick sec to PROMO THIS GOOD STORY from my dear friend Ebon. It's a mystery/horror story set in EQG, and a lot of hard work went into it.

Anyway, I realized the other day that I haven't actually written a fun/fluffy canon universe oneshot in forever, so if y'all have any prompts to throw my way, that would be swell.

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