3213814

Yup. At least I don't need edits, just overall opinion on how I did the pairing.

http://www.writewords.org.uk/word_count.asp useful to see if you abuse "purple" and "unicorn"! "Hey!"

3234914

Get back in the frickin' kitchen Twilight. So help me- yeah, I should probably take a look at this. o__o

Hello I'm still pretty new to this site and I haven't written in a long time but fimficiton and the quality of so many AppleDash stories have inspired me to start again. I have a full 5717 word chapter if anyone would be so kind as to proofread/critique it for me? I've never used google docs before, in fact I wasn't aware of it until I started poking around the proofreading group. So if anyone would be willing please pm me!

Hello. Just finished writing a 7000 word story for the third appledash competition, but I'm a little concerned that I may have drifted from the rules of the prompt too much, since i featured AJ and RD hosting, running, and causing a competition as opposed to physically competing. If it's not too much trouble, I would appreciate a quick run through either confirming or denying my worries (since i'd rather not submit something that doesn't follow the rules...) of it no longer doing what it's supposed to.
Obviously, any other kind of advice or critique would be welcome too, but I'm comfortable(ish) without, so consider it optional.
Also, I know Tchernobog already told me this, but since it's for the appledash contest then i guess no judge should help me.
If anyone is willing to give it a read, please pm me or reply to the comment or whatever you feel suits you best.
Many optimistic thanks in advance

3611769
Well, if it's simply a matter of 'does this still count as a competition', then judges can and probably are the best to determine whether or not this qualifies. We're simply not allowed to edit/brainstorm/etc. if you want, I can have a look?

3611983 Please do, and thank you.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/214665/healthy-rivalry
That's the link... if it doesn't work for X reasons, please let me know.

3612003
It needs a password!
Go ahead and PM it to me!

Alright, at the repeated suggestion from Tcherno, I am turning here for… input? Seems about right. So you win, Tcherno, you win.

I have some dialogue from the AppleDash fic I'm writing for the contest-thingy, but the people I normally run my dialogue past, or at least dialogue for Applejack and Rainbow Dash, are currently unavailable. Tchnero is out of the question since he is a judge and all, so is there anyone here who'd be willing to take a look?

3670238

I don't see any stories on your profile to look at, however if one should appear I will check to see how the dialogue feels.

3671500

Oops, sorry, I was a little vague there on accident. The dialogue is just a segment from what I'm working on, not the entirety of it. I want to make sure the dialogue "sounds" like Applejack and Rainbow Dash to others before I go all-out and finish building the scene around it.

3671782

I'll still take a look at it once you point the way. You may need to provide some context if it is raw dialogue.

So, just throwing this out there, that I will need a proofreader and maybe an editor on some of the scenes with characterization. For my next coming fic "Bass Drop". Will have it written and done by most likely tomorrow. I will include the cover-art (I love doing them) and the short summary to let anyone get an idea from what this story will be about. Thanks anyone willing to help will do!

Short Summary: It was a normal day in the Canterlot high-school band room. That's until Applejack and Rainbow Dash get into a heated argument, which leads to the bassist of the band, Applejack, quits. Rainbow Dash doesn't realize what she said in the argument was a very big mistake. Not just to her but for the band, especially when it's the new battle of the bands tournament tomorrow. Can Rainbow Dash pick up the pieces of a beloved, lost of a band member And finally realize how much Applejack really meant to her? Or will her friendship with her best-friend, the one who always was by her side, break away.

Hah!~ I challenge anyone else to an editing contest, and I will win!

Hello. It's, um, me again.

'Sup?

I've just finished writing and self-editing a story which centers around AppleDash. It's pretty much about the pair of them dealing with the fact that they're, essentially different species. I took some liberties with how pegasi worked, and played around with what they'd eat, how they slept, and a few ideas about how they live. I also wanted these differences to put some stress on their relationship, which isn't something I've seen tackled too often (although I have seen it approached now and then). What really takes the biscuit is how far I've gone with it.

There's also something in there about the universe wanting them to be apart. It gets a bit weird near the end.

Now, I'm actually very happy with the story, despite it's weirdness. However my greatest concern is how all these ideas, which are very outlandish and unusual, gets pitched to a reader. I'm not exaggerating when I say that it's the strangest AppleDash I've written, and I've written some weird premises in the time I've been here.

Long story short, I'm here (again) asking if anyone out there who enjoys AppleDash would like to give the story a look through and tell me how well the ideas are presented. I'm certain there's some room for improvement, I'd just like to have an idea as to where I should focus my efforts. The story stands at around 16K words and is split up into four chapters and an epilogue. If anyone is interested, please let me know so that I might link to a gdoc or something.

4653310
Me! Me! The racial thing is something I think would be far more an issue than gay/lesbian (which is really just people carrying stuff from our society over to ponies). Different races would be far more interesting to read about, so shoot me the info.

Also if you didn't label AJ as 'pegasexual', I'll be immensely disappointed in you.

4653331
Stop trying to make AJ being a pegasexual happen, you doofus :p

4653348
SILENCE, WENCH!

(also, too late! )

4653358
How dare you adress moi, the great and powerfull DddddbzOrDie as wench. Less talking, more writing if you want to make it happen

4653310

I can't in good conscience let Tchernobutt have all the fun.

If you're looking for another pair of eyes, I'm always more than happy to read something!

4653425

4653365

Hello people! So, I came here for a little help with a fic I've been working for a while.
In this case I’ve barely approximately a 40% (luckily a 50%) of the story actually written (and even that as a draft), and the rest are just notes (though, the 40% includes the beginning, the end and half of the middle of the fic, with holes scattered along the story). There is also the fact that it’s the first big thing I’ve ever written in english so some orthography and grammar typos are assured.
Buuut, consequently, though all help is welcome, I’m not asking for a proofreader or a full editor-work as much as just somebody that reads it and gave me some general impressions, if he/she found the plot or dialogues interesting enough, or if it has enough potential; if the grammar/orthography just needs some edits or if it’s just impossible and overall if they think the story it’s worth the effort. Something like a light-editor work.

This is a fic I started writing for the last Appledash contest, but it proved to be a challenge bigger than what I could take. The truth is I really like the story, and I would feel immensely happy if I could at least end this fic, but in the last months, each time I start working on it I just get more and more frustrated, feeling that I just can’t write english well enough to write confortable and that I just should drop it.
So, I would be really, really thankful to anyone who could read it and tell me if they see some potential on it or not.

It’s approximately 7.000 words long until now, with maybe 1.500 more words in notes, which I just edited so they are more easily understandable for an outside reader.

This would be the Fic info and I put the link to the google-docs in the bottom of it:

Fic title: Foal on Board.
Genre: Romance. Comedy?
Characters: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Spitfire, Lightning Dust.
Info: When a magical spell gives Applejack and Rainbow Dash the possibility of having a foal, they found themselves having to take a decision which could drastically change their lives.
Some calm and quiet days in San Palomino’s beach should help them to think about it. They hope…

Originally written for The Fourth AppleDash Contest about “a life-changing event” and “a place outside ponyville”.

Rated Teen for some light innuendo.

First story written in FimFiction and first long thing written in english in my life. All comments and criticizing are well-received and thanked.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1EBkIU8ZC8JEN0fzXd6-FPLRwJFRHPXTM09uFJGv74II/edit?usp=sharinge

5113605 What language do you speak natively?

I actually have a bit of experience with french, being fluent in the language and having tutored it on occasion, as well as tutoring english to french blokes. The way the dialogue is formatted reminds me a lot of how they do it over there, although I confess I'm not sure whether the rest of Europe follows that trend.

Beyond a fair few grammar things to look at as well as possible pacing, you might want to consider changing the dialogue format from its current iteration to the accepted English speaking one (since this is an English speaking site). This means using "XXX" instead of -XXX. You should be able to find guidelines for that in the writing guide provided by the site.

I dunno about the actual idea itself, since my ideas tend to come with copious amounts of oddness and 'why would you decide that's a good idea-ness', but catering to the wimpy English readers by doing dialogue their way is probably a swell idea as well as finding someone who is a native English speaker with ability in your native language as well to try and smooth out the strange vocabulary and grammar differences that have likely arisen because of that.

5114090 Hey, thanks a lot!
I speak spanish, which is pretty similar to french in a lot of aspects (I studied french myself in high school), though I wouldn’t know how they format dialogue in the rest of europe as I’m from south america. :P
I already started changing to the “xxx” format, to be honest, it’s much more easier and clean that “-yyy”. Funnily though, I read the guide, and specially the section about dialogue but it’s seems I just thought the spanish dialogue format so natural that I didn’t even notice.

I’m also taking your advice to look for someone who can help me with the language; there aren’t a lot of bronies in my country but I bet there should be a group or two of native-spanish speakers in this site. Making this fic right (or at least, acceptable) will be hard, but it would have been impossible (and foolish of me) to try to do it in my lonesome.

Still, anybody else who wants to give it a try is welcome, you could PM if it’s feels you better. I’m specially looking for knowing if people can found the situations and events funny or entertaining.

PD: Sorry, it's past midnight and I'm falling sleep in the keyboard....

5117208
Spanish? I think I can help. I'll take a look at it.

5117208 I was going to volunteer myself for the language thing until I realized that your native language was likely not french, but something else. I could kinda see the clues in the writing, although I was unable to figure out which language you spoke.

I once helped a french friend of mine translate a story, and it was an absolute nightmare. It's really hard to edit someone, and tell them that something doesn't 'sound right'. It's still being re-edited to this day.

Like I said, I can't really comment about the idea, since my ideas have been a bit strange over time, ranging from pegasi laying eggs to earth ponies being weatherponies, from Rainbow Dash developing a phobia for Applejack, and a year being compressed into a week. It may be that simply trying to have a foal is a bit too 'ordinary' for my somewhat outlandish tastes.

One thing to note, though, is that comedy is remarkably hard, even for native-speakers.

5117262 Thank you so much, I'm going to PM you now but I'm really thankful for the help you already are given me with this. I'm also already making a double-check taking as reference some of the edits you suggested so it's more easy for you to look at it. Now that I think about it, it was too rushed to put the link to the doc here without making a deep check of style and orthography, even if it was just a incomplete draft.
Also all this helped me to go over my little writer's block and I hope to be writing again soon so I can finish the parts that are missing and call it complete.

5117725 Being both spanish and french Romance languages, they have a lot of common. I know how difficult it is to really translate something (which is why I can’t stand spanish translated MLP)

Hmm, comedy it's hard, that's right, I'm trying to not focus the fic in the comedy aspect, I even have my doubts about using the comedy tag, but I am anyway trying to give it some "fun" style, so I think I'm going to use it.

Certainly, I'm not expecting to have a masterpiece or a fic that would revolutionize the fandom, but, after posting this here, and (to be honest), being a little discouraged by your first comment and how hard I would be to work with the language barrier, I gave it some though and I realized I really enjoy the story (at least what is written of it :P) and I really enjoy writing about it, and I think I'm going to be happy just by being able to call it “complete” and uploading in the site; then if maybe one or two people could also enjoy it, it would be even better. But at the end, it’s something good for me, even if the fic isn’t so good, and of course, I’m not going to have any chance of writing something good some day if I'm too afraid of not being good enough and don’t start with something

5118883 I find it's less discouraging to know you're going in with a greater difficulty barrier than not knowing you have one and wondering why on earth things aren't working out properly. But that's beside the point: discouraging you is not my intention nor will it ever be in the majority of scenarios. I'm just hoping to share a few experiences I had with translation as well as comedy and hopefully, if you're aware of the additional problems, you may be able to overcome them (which you will not be able to do if you are discouraged).

If you enjoy the story you have written, I'd say that's an excellent start. I find it unlikely that anyone else could enjoy the story if you, the author, do not, after all.

I'd still very much like to see it at the end, so when it's reached a stage where it's more complete, do send me a message so I know to check it out! I always enjoy AppleDash.

Hi-o. It is I. Again.

Oh, the joy.

It just so happens I have finished a moderately lengthy story (30K words) on GDocs, and am looking to publish it, but before I do that, I would absolutely love any thoughts, suggestions, and any possible editing from the fine folk here. It features both Applejack and Rainbow prominently, although their relationship admittedly only becomes somewhat mushy towards the end. It might be more accurate to call it friendshipping for most of the story, but, well, I'm incorrigible.

It's actually about Applejack trying to win medals in a multi-event athletic contest. The story focuses mostly on her training (which is rather outlandish and probably not to be recommended to the IRL athlete) and her eventual contest against similarly potent adversaries. Rainbow Dash is there too. How they train together is a rather big part of the story, although most of the actual curveballs are surrounding Applejack's coach, Harshwhinny (the angry games instructor).

I'm rather chuffed with it, but there's always room for improvement, and I'd appreciate any thoughts the wider world could bring. Feel free to PM me a request to the GDoc! Or via carrier pigeon, telegram, or telepathy.

Thanks for reading!

I'd also super appreciate if you could give me, like, a heads up if you decide to give it a read. There have been about four 'anonymous animals' (including a liger that, at the time of me writing this, is still there) that have taken a look at the GDoc who haven't said anything, and whilst I'm super happy you took a gander, I'd really appreciate a heads-up so I know more or less who is there and how long you're reading it.

As it is I kinda don't know who's there or when they'll finish or even if they want to finish, or if they'll be coming back to it, which makes it a bit tricky for little old me.

I give it a read as soon I get my computer. Don't how can I help, but I'll try.

5575816 I'll generally take anything at all, from general thoughts to thorough corrections. I'm all about learning what a bunch of gents think about what I do so if I decide that something needs a little tweaking, I can go off and try and find a solution.

Just knowing what your favourite or least favourite bits were and why is already enough to stimulate the old grey matter in the battered upturned vase that is my cranium.

5575763 I'll have a glance soon~

Wow, this thread is dusty...
I got 20k words into the story I was writing for the 6th entry and just choked. I'm no stranger to not finishing stories, but this one felt really close. If anyone wants to take a look to add a comment or something, I'm definitely open to suggestions.

7415676 I'll try to take a look.

Like.

Later. It's nearly 1 am now.