I know that the rules are given throughout Winning Pony, but is there a straight up list of them anywhere? I didn't see it on the FAQ, but I don't follow the forum posts all that closely, and I don't remember if they're all listed out anywhere in the story.

Cloud Kicker lists them all out for Blossomforth at one point near the beginning. I don't remember when.

Chapter 4. Here they are.

“Some of these are really more like guidelines than ironclad rules.”

“Rule Number One: No regrets. I don’t want somepony waking up in the morning and realizing I was a mistake.”

“Rule Number Two: No complications"

“Rule Number Three: Never take a pony to bed when their judgment is compromised. Drugs, alcohol, emotional or psychological things, whatever. If the pony isn’t thinking straight enough to agree, I don’t bang them. Simple as that.”

“Rule Number Four: No banging friends.”

“Rule Number Five: No banging without safety gear. I don’t plan on finding myself with an STD or getting knocked up."

“Rule Number Six: No lying to get sex. Or at least, no really big lies. Everypony does a little bit of harmless exaggeration, but there’s a line. I don’t cross it. Ever."

“Rule Number Seven: No banging a pony who’s looking for romance. I got no plans to go for moonlight serenades and a big fancy wedding. I like my life the way it is, and don’t see much reason to change it.”

“Rule Number Eight: No banging somepony who doesn’t know what they’re getting into with me."

"Rule Number Nine: No banging ponies who are in a committed relationship. Well, unless everypony involved is onboard with it. I got no problem with helping a couple spice up their sex life, but I’m not gonna be the other pony. Somepony wants to cheat, they can do it with somepony else."

"The next three are more like ... words of wisdom.”

“Rule Number Ten: No banging while flying. Trust me, it’s only a matter of time before somepony tries to talk you into it, and it is a terrible idea. Nopony can multitask well enough to pull it off.”

“Rule Number Eleven: No staying at the bangee’s house for too long after the deed is done. It leads to awkward talks with the kids, and the temptation to stay longer.”

"Rule Number Twelve: No Diamond Dogs. Ever again.”

She lists them in The Winning Pony and the Templar.

2140321
Thank you!

2140309

Looks like she avoids breaking rule nine with Lyra and Bon Bon because they both are in agreement.

Technically, with Blossomforth, she broke One, Two, Three (she was the compromised judgement, not Blossom), Four, and Eight. Nine too, if she considered herself in a relationship with Derpy, which she did for the most part.

With Derpy, she broke One, Two, Four, Seven, Eight, and Eleven.

Of course, that's a matter of opinion.

You know what, I want more dirt on the Diamond Dogs. Did one or more that Cloud Kicker got with act out, and now she just avoids all of them because of stereotyping? Or is it a more physical aspect like the different smell or... physical abberacy, that CK decided she didn't want to put up with again?

2140606
She has nightmares about it. It may also be the reason alcohol was added to the list under three.

2140606
It was because of the noodle incident.

2140518

yeah, but I'm pretty sure she said that these are guidelines, not absolute strict tenets

also now someone needs to make a fic about a group of assassinss, like in AC, but they do cloud kicker related stuff, maybe like the courtesans but they kill those they bed, like a black (or purple) widow

someone do it

2141053 Once again, I'm trapped on Tropes for two hours.

Speaking of, "Noodle Incident" trope goes nicely with the public banging incident at West Hoof. We don't know squat about it other than a failed perception filter spell.

2145026
Truly, it is (entertaining) pit from which nothing escapes.

Dunno if the West Hoof incident seemed pretty non-mysterious to me. Cloudy and some unicorn mare or stallion were being all Background Pony-ish and banging in the West Hoof yard. Spell failed. Much trouble. Easy-peasy.

I keep thinking that there is a rule like "No banging the bosses friends", which she keeps lamenting about when it comes to Twilight Sparkle, ash she would LOVE to see if it is true about that they say about librarians. It could be covered under "No complications" where if CK actually banged Twilight Sparkle, Twilight would probably get all moony over CK and about how banging is SOOOOO much fun and why didn't she try it earlier that RD pretty much gets angry at CK for doing something like that.

(Yes, I am implying that Twilight Sparkle has never known the touch of another pony in the bedroom sense. Considering that most of her life has been spent with either her BBBFF and her foalsitter (who probably banged like rabbits in heat when Twilight was asleep) or Princess Celestia, who Twilight tried to emulate in every sense and Celestia was too busy dealing with raising the Sun and the Moon AND all the stars in the sky, as well as running both the Day and Night Courts AND teaching Twilight Sparkle how to harness her gift for magic that Celestia didn't have either the time or the energy to groom a discreet lover (Or was grooming Twilight for such a role). It's a pretty easy conclusion to jump to. Then again, if CQ says otherwise, so shall it be)

2146795

Because of the way that RD and CK talk about it, I though that the "no banging the bosses friends" was more of an agreement with RD rather than a rule per se.

Here's my version of those rules for the fanfic I'm working on. Which DOES NOT take place in the Winningverse. It takes place in a MLP universe of my own creation.

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Cloud Kicker's Banging Rules (Ariel's Version)

“Some of these are really more like guidelines than ironclad rules.”

“Rule Number One: No regrets. I don’t want somepony waking up in the morning, and realizing I was a mistake.”

“Rule Number Two: No banging anypony underaged. Make sure they are legal. I do not want to get locked up for 'doing-things-with-a-minor', ever."

“Rule Number Three: Never take a pony to bed when their, and/or your, judgment is compromised. Drugs, alcohol, emotional or psychological things, whatever. If the pony, and/or you, isn’t/aren't thinking straight enough to agree, I don’t bang them. Simple as that.”

“Rule Number Four: If you are making a porn video, make damn sure your co-stars have been tested and aren't carrying anything.”

“Rule Number Five: No banging without safety gear. I don’t plan on finding myself with an STD, or getting knocked up. This rule is most important with different species. You never know what kind of 'harmless bacteria' for one species might be lethal to the other species."

“Rule Number Six: No lying to get sex. Or at least, no really big lies. Everypony does a little bit of harmless exaggeration. But there’s a line. And I don’t cross it. Ever."

“Rule Number Seven: No banging a pony who’s looking for romance. I got no plans to go for moonlight serenades, and a big fancy wedding. I like my life the way it is. And don’t see much reason to change it. Now a pony who's just looking for a new fuckbudy... That type of 'relationship' is pergectly fine.”

“Rule Number Eight: No banging somepony who doesn’t know what they’re getting into with me. I make sure they know exactly who, and what, I am. Then we have fun."

"Rule Number Nine: No banging ponies who are in a committed relationship. Well, unless everypony involved is onboard with it. I got no problem with helping a couple spice up their sex life.But I’m not gonna be the other pony. Somepony wants to cheat, they can do it with somepony else."

"The next six are more like ... words of wisdom.”

“Rule Number Ten: No banging while flying. Trust me. It's only a matter of time before somepony tries to talk you into it, and it is a terrible idea. Nopony can multitask well enough to pull it off. Now banging in freefall... That's different. And fine. Just make sure you have an anti-gravity mat with an inertia canceller to fall onto. A veeeery large one. You might veer a little off course when falling many miles."

“Rule Number Eleven: No staying at the bangee’s house for too long after the deed is done. It leads to awkward talks with the kids, and the temptation to stay longer. Well, not unless you acutally like their company. And they know that you are not their romance.”

"Rule Number Twelve: No Diamond Dogs. Ever again. Knots... Painful.”

"Rule Number Thirteen: If you're going to bang Captain Jack Harkness, make sure you have loooooots of stamina potions for yourself. He's an Immortal. His stamina's limitless."

"Rule Number Fourteen: No matter how much you like them, no matter how good in bed they are, no matter how much miney they offer you... Never agree to clean their house. ... Pizza boxes full of fire ants... Rats/Skeevers the size of cats... Roach the sixe of a large dog... Ugh... Not again... Never again... Not ever...Not happening..."

"Rule Number Fifteen: DO NOT bang the Doctor. No matter how much he and Derpy asks you to. I DO NOT want his complications in my life."

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