Danganronpa: In Harmony’s Wake by Dewdrops on the Grass will be the next story I will review today. 

TDanganronpa: In Harmony's Wake

• MLP: FiM
• Equestria Girls
• Danganronpa
• Dark
• Mystery
• Thriller

Trapped on a cruise ship with fifteen others, all with lost memories, Sunset Shimmer struggles to survive a killing game orchestrated by a mysterious being only known as Monoponi. Post Season Nine FIM. Now complete!

• Violence
• Sex
• Death
• Profanity
• CMCs
• Sunset Shimmer
• Flash Sentry
• Adagio Dazzle
• Main 7 (EqG)

Dewdrops on the Grass · 488k words  ·  165  15 · 6.2k views

Wait, another one of these long stories? Four hundred and eighty-eight thousand words? Rekindled Embers wasn’t enough? Are you crazy?

Of course! You can expect this review to be similar to my own reviews of Rekindled Embers, Death of a Queen, Long Live the Queen and Spectrum of Lightning, so if you are ready for another ultra-long review, let’s go! 

Summary

Sunset Shimmer, twenty-four years old, woke up on a cruise ship, without knowing how she got there, or why. She encountered fifteen other souls, all of them trapped aboard by a mysterious pony known only as Monoponi, who informed them they are there for one purpose, and one purpose only:

To kill each other.

Now struggling to survive while desperately trying to recover what memories she's lost, Sunset is thrust into a deadly situation, where anyone, at any turn, could become the next killer. Who will survive? Who will die? What is Monoponi's true goal? Who is he, really?

Sunset can only hope to find out before she, too, becomes a victim of the killing game.

The Prologue: A Starting Note

Similar to my review of Rekindled Embers, this review will spoil (most) of the story. However, this review hopes to motivate new readers to read this story. To do this, the review has been structured to discuss the story’s events and my thoughts chronologically. Therefore, you can follow my review, along with my attempts to try and crack the story’s mysteries, as you read the story seamlessly. There are six parts or “chapters” in the story, which present the main arcs of development. 

Firstly, I intend to address some wider aspects of the story itself to begin the review proper, one of which is the fact that this story is a crossover with Danganronpa, which is a Japanese video game that involves a killing game headed by Monokuma. Although I do not have a significant amount of prior knowledge of the events in Danganronpa, or its gameplay, I can attest that the story has done a creditable job in ensuring that this story is accessible to all. Even if you lack contextual understanding, the story has, by and large, naturally integrated aspects of Danganronpa that would be easy for new readers to pick up, namely its atmosphere, the rules of the “killing game” and more. However, please note that I will be going into this review without much prior knowledge or context from Danganronpa. 

In addition, the story introduces seventeen characters in the initial prologue, which is arguably too many to keep a track of initially, especially when bundled into a singular chapter. It starts with a dazed Sunset (whose memory of the other characters were wiped out) coming to her senses on a cruise ship before she explores the interior to find fifteen other individuals who were literally in the same boat as her. That’s excluding the central antagonist named Monoponi, who was also introduced in the same prologue. 

Fortunately, these fifteen characters and Sunset are canon characters, enabling readers to have a better grasp on their generalised character traits and personality by extrapolating our understanding of their canon characterisation here. As this being set after the events after the show, it is justifiable that the author has new takes on all the characters from her own extrapolative imagination. This is particularly the case when all the participants have had some of their memories erased from them. 

Coupled with the introduction of Monoponi and his rules on how the killing game was supposed to play out à la Danganronpa style, the initial prologue might be too content-heavy for the information to be internalised into the reader’s mind. This is especially the case if readers might not be familiar with Danganronpa. Additionally, this decision lengthened the prologue, so much so that it rivals the following few chapters in word count, corroborating the present matter. Therefore, it might present a challenge for some readers to easily grasp a central, overarching view of the predicamental circumstance. 

I empathise with the author’s rationale to introduce the main protagonist and the central conflict of the story in the prologue, for it was to act as a “hook” to convince readers to continue reading. Although I am unable to deny this, this overshadowed the initial build-up of the character introduction prior, prompting a greater focus on the problem at hoof. The reader’s attention span and short-term memory being limited, it is thereby natural for readers to relegate the information regarding the characters to the back of their mind in a casual read. 

One could argue against this point, positing that, since the story is told from the first person perspective of Sunset, the cursory development of the other fifteen characters can be attributed to her poor mental state after waking up. However, Sunset’s fluid grasp on some of the characters upon a few moments of self-introduction and spatial awareness implies otherwise. This is especially acknowledging the fact that the development of Sunset’s first meeting with Rarity was rather detailed, but there was a noticeable disparity with that relative to those of the others. 

Hence, it might seem that the introduction of these characters might have been too rapid for readers to catch on to, as readers would prioritise focusing on the rules of the game revolving around the central arc. I wonder whether this can be improved should Sunset be allowed to meet and greet some, but not all of the characters first. A deeper look into some of the characters can be made, enabling a greater “feel” and immersion. The congregation of all the “participants” on the ship in a meeting hosted by Monoponi would help further interaction between them all after the meeting, providing ample time to flesh the characters out. 

In any case, owing to the nature of Monoponi (who was an Equestrian alicorn on Earth!) and his own mysterious and callous intentions, it is fair for Sunset to feel that she has an inherent responsibility to get to the bottom of this, being from Equestria herself. Her motivation to stop Monoponi’s killing game and prevent the senseless prospect of murder is well-founded, and will be a core aspect of her characterisation throughout the entire story. 

But, who is Monoponi? Why is he doing this? How is he doing this? Let’s find out...

Chapter 1

Part I: Setting Up

The meeting between Monoponi and his participants in the prologue revealed the basic rules, and, more importantly, Sunset’s “apparent” connection to Monoponi. Sunset had revealed to the group that she was aware of how similar this set-up is relative to her unwiped memories of playing Danganronpa in the past. Worse, Monoponi had implied that he had some kind of connection he had with Sunset. It was unsurprising that, being in a killing game, this would breed trust issues between Sunset and the other participants when Sunset was trying to explain what was going on with Monoponi’s Equestrian magic. It was no wonder Twilight had volunteered to escort Sunset wherever she goes. However, after some initial backlash from Adagio and Wallflower, Applejack had managed to sway the general opinion in favour of Sunset, believing that Sunset’s not lying based on her senses. 

It was rather unconvincing that Applejack would be able to “trust” Sunset after a short period of prior interaction before, though, to some extent, Applejack’s innate ability to sniff out the lies from the truth would explain matters. The thing is, from Applejack’s perspective, she could only tell if she was not lying maliciously, as for all Applejack knew, Sunset could have imperfect information. 

Part II: From Sunset’s perspective...

More concerning would be how fast the characters were willing to be convinced by Sunset’s preposterous theories. I felt that Sunset’s theory was more of something that the others should take into consideration, but not explicitly accept it as a fact because of Applejack’s “feeling”. This is especially the case when they had little social interaction with Applejack to genuinely trust her. While Flash’s point about how they were “giving in to panic and fear” is fair, I felt that this was rushed, due to the huge shift in the contrast between the differing opinions. 

Even if rushed, the differing opinions provide the characters a prime opportunity to showcase their own personalities in a natural manner. The different styles of dialogue, and the unique ways the characters portray themselves in what they are saying and their accompanying actions helped to subtly breathe life into them. Being social creatures, internalising their traits from this proved to be an organic way to do so. 

The author has also done a marvellous job in structuring her dialogue to suit the intended tempo. By intentionally altering the length of the sandwiched sentences, together with apt choices of the dialogue tags, the author brings you into the shoes of Sunset. This strengthens the immersion and feel for her, and thus one’s investment into the story. 

Moving on, the antagonist has decided to catalyse the killing game by offering the participants a motive to kill. Anyone who could kill someone without being found out at the trial would be able to escape the cruise ship in a so-called “rescue attempt” and recover their lost memories. Of course, they could choose to remain on the ship indefinitely. You can either wait to be killed, or kill. 

This goes back to Sunset’s intrinsic motivation to get to the bottom of this and stop everyone from participating in this killing game, when she realised that the rest were actively pondering and considering the antagonist’s offer of a “rescue attempt”. To do so, Sunset had decided to make a speech to appeal to the rest, to overcome the antagonist’s given motivation. Unfortunately — 

“...He did this to us.”

“Oh would you just shut up?”

The harsh words sliced straight through what was left of my confidence, cleaving it in two and tossing it away like refuse. Everyone whirled to see Wallflower Blush pointing her own finger at me, her expression just as furious as mine had been moments before. “Did you forget already? Are you that stupid? He told us there was a traitor! He told us one of us did this! Not him! How can you stand there and try to give us some inspirational speech if you can’t even keep your ears cleaned out for long enough to pay attention to what someone actually says?!”

I enjoyed how Sunset’s constant babbling on the ideality of matters should they cooperate sparked off a huge flare of anger from one of the participants. Being strangers to each other, individuals who are more insecure might sense that this would be a ploy to lure them into a false sense of security. This is because they suffer from their own difficulty in trusting other individuals, much less strangers, accentuated by Wallflower’s sharp interjection. This development helped to showcase how this is accurate to Wallflower’s personality. 

The author has continually taken advantage of writing in the first-person perspective of Sunset to inspire the appropriate feel from the reader. However, in my opinion, it was a let down to note that the underlined portion was the only development that sought to capitalise on the bluntness of Wallflower’s words, that resulted in “[Sunset slumping]... to the floor, [for] the tears...[she’d] been holding back dripping down...[her] cheeks.” 

There was an opportunity to build to a moment of despair and hopelessness through slowing the pacing down by paragraphing. Breaking the instance into smaller chunks would help to culminate to a moment, and show how blank, or lost Sunset must have felt; how much of a failure she was. Debatably, she would not be concerned with how the others had reacted to Wallflower. Rather, she would be disappointed in how she had handled the situation, and the squandered opportunity to unite the participants into a cooperative group against the antagonist’s tyranny. Perhaps developing this scene more inwardly would suit it more aptly. 

Her thoughts could be justly interrupted by Wallflower’s dialogue at the heat of the moment, where her eyes would be greeted by Wallflower’s accusing finger pointing at her. This provides a “vector” that sharpens the emotional impact that would break Sunset’s self-confidence and belief in herself. 

Anyways, ashamed of her earlier “performance”, Sunset was confronted by Adagio, who was vocally attacking Sunset earlier, saying that she does not trust Sunset. However, in a private conversation with Sunset, Adagio had confessed that she was also from Equestria. Due to their commonalities, they have a perceived sense of community that enables either one to trust each other more. In doing so, she hoped that the duo would watch out for each other’s back in an unofficial alliance. 

Here we have a greater insight into Adagio’s personality; we note how, through her maneuver, she could direct any suspicions from the non-Equestrians away from herself, but yet derive benefits between her and Sunset. Her strategic play shows her strength in her astuteness in the shifting tensions in the group. The subtlety in her characterisation through her strategic moves is done well. 

After their private meeting, the shadowing Twilight had suspicions over this, saying how they could be striving to work together to conspire and kill others. Overhearing this, Monoponi teleported into existence and affirmed Sunset’s belief that accomplices would not benefit from this engagement. This sudden act conveniently frightened Twilight, prompting her to ram into the wall, causing a brutal gash. 

However, a more important aspect of this development appeared to be the copious description of the first-aid kit that Adagio had brought to patch Twilight up. With many drugs, the first-aid kit can be a viable apparatus to kill, rather than heal, should the patient or “victim” have a lethal overdose. I have an idea of what is about to happen next… 

Another minor development was the blossoming romance between Twilight and Flash, which was evident through their conversation when Flash “stumbled” into them. It is difficult to comment on whether this romance is justified, since we are only seeing the world from Sunset’s perspective. Either party could have simply fallen for that unexplainable gravitation towards each other. The context of the killing game might have also had a hand in building connections between individuals. 

Despite this, I’m not sure if there was enough time for the two of them to connect with each other for them to be mutually and romantically inclined. I wonder if this matter could have been foreshadowed more plainly during the limited instances, such as during the meetings. Perhaps minor details or signals between the two that Sunset could have caught on unknowingly. Nonetheless, the story capitalises on this opportunity to enable Flash and Twilight to have a casual, maybe even cute, conversation with Sunset being an observer, hoping to bring the duo together in the longer run. 

Unfortunately for them, this was cut short by an announcement by Pinkie, who intended to throw a party tomorrow night to introduce some levity into this tense atmosphere. This was received with mixed emotions and responses, helping the author carve out the traits of the comparatively underdeveloped character hitherto. Pinkie, for instance, remains true to what readers would expect her to be: bursting with energy. A more salient example would be Wallflower, who was the odd one out of the group. Being aloof and distrustful of the entire situation, she signalled her disapproval of the party, noting that it would be a prime opportunity for anyone to act on impulse in a “rescue attempt”. So, she intends to opt out of the party and keep herself locked in her own cabin. 

This chain of logic was not lost on Sunset. Internally, the author has portrayed her uneasiness of the situation, but balanced it with her trust in her “friends” around her who wouldn’t act, right? Enabling the reader to understand Sunset’s thought processes of how she genuinely felt about the party even though she might not act like it helps with the connection and allure of the story. However, this often means that there would be something bad happening during the party, as cliche as that may be. 

After the announcement, as Sunset was leaving a shop with her new backpack, Rainbow had bumped into her and apologised. Precisely, Rainbow had been accusing Sunset of blasphemy on the subject of the existence of Equestria and magic in the earlier chapters. It must have occurred at the heat of the moment, showcasing her brash attitude from canon. On the other hand, Rainbow’s willingness to apologise to Sunset could be interpreted as a sign of maturity she has developed between her canon self and now. More interestingly, it could also be said that her apology was to ensure that Sunset would not hold any grudges against her, so that she would not be a target in the future in this killing game; there was no way Rainbow could be certain Sunset would be incapable of doing such a thing. 

In addition, a more subtle development was done for Fluttershy from the perspective of Rainbow, who accurately explains her timidness and fear. This also indirectly hints at a relationship between the two, perhaps showing that they were something more than mere friends. This is because Fluttershy had trusted Rainbow to confide to her of her own fears and worries of the stressful circumstance they were thrust into. In line with Twilight's comments with Sunset, the quandarius situation had most likely drawn them, and other personalities closer together, Twilight and Flash no doubt. 

After a bit of exploration of the ship (which will be more appropriately discussed later), Sunset had stuffed her ears with pillows to ensure that she could sleep, resulting in her waking up late and prompting the entire group headed by Diamond Tiara to search for her. Let’s focus on Diamond Tiara’s reaction when she realised her efforts in searching for her was needless. She was rightfully upset for the false alarm, but she was barely touching the threshold for insulting Sunset as she was ranting and raving. Her snobbish, bossy attitude rang true throughout her dialogue that read at the speed of a machine gun, which was a nice touch. 

This made Sunset break. Under the present circumstance, the emotional hurt and mental strain on Sunset caused her to lash out sarcastic and hurtful remarks at Diamond. This rewarded her with a good, tight slap from Diamond. 

It was noteworthy that Diamond had acted on her thoughts and emotion, which conveys how her character has been warped into its current form as a result of the killing game. While it is true that she wished to defend her ego at all costs, the lack of protection from her wealthy and influential parents must have made her act by herself; to stand up for herself. After all, there was no upper, governing body that would punish her for hurting Sunset. The effects of this game on the characters must be obvious to readers through these many instances. 

In any case, the party proceeded as planned in the evening, though there was an instance when five had drunk a tainted batch of cider, prompting Monoponi to force Rainbow and Trixie to clean the bathrooms up. 

Except Wallflower’s dead body was found on the next day at the restaurant side of the promenade. 

Part III: The Investigation 

It is time to put on our thinking caps. This first case is fairly easy to deduce, and is solvable before the trial. It was a nice touch for the author to enable readers to participate in their own investigation. This would deepen the immersion and increase reader enjoyment when the truth is revealed in the following chapters. If you have not read Chapter 1 Part 5 yet, do go ahead to try to determine who was responsible for such a nefarious act. 

For those who remain, let’s begin. Firstly, we need to note that the cleaver from Sushi King was not the actual murder weapon, because the injury sustained did not result in an excessive lost of blood. The more important clue would be that her body was soaked in water, most notably her head and upper torso. Remember that I skipped the “exploration” part earlier? They had explored the kitchen and vent of a restaurant called Sushi King, where they incidentally found bags of ice. This appears to be a convenient match; the water could have come from the ice from Sushi King. The culprit appears to be rather intellectually dim by establishing this connection. 

But how to explain the rings around her neck? Well, they must have been caused by a taut string or rope when the victim was thrashing about in her struggle. Given the information at hand, we note that Rainbow Dash has purchased bungee and parachute cords. However, she couldn’t have done it; the estimated time of death occurred before Rainbow had left the party. 

Strangely, the author has given us some extra information in the form of the receipts from the sports shop, the arts and crafts shop and the pharmacy. Looking through, one could see that leather backpacks and a fabric backpack were purchased. It was also a strange coincidence that there was an “odd material” as described by Sunset beneath the body and at the kitchen of Sushi King. If the material was leather, Sunset could’ve easily recognised it to be the case, but if the material was fabric, perhaps…

The list reveals that Timber Spruce was the only individual to have purchased this backpack, and had also purchased an arts and crafts set too. Surely that pair of scissors contained within it would prove handy in fashioning some sort of rope by cutting off the straps… 

But how to explain the rest of the clues, namely the tainted cider served during the party? Retracing the events that occurred during the preparation of the party, Timber was the one who had set a bag of ice on the table, inside a cooler. 

Ice, again? 

Twilight explains how Timber’s own account of the effects of the tainted cider matches up with that of consuming ipecac. Corroborated with the stolen, discarded and destroyed first-aid kit thrown into the sink of the Sushi King kitchen, one could quickly realise that you don’t have to be a Sherlock Holmes to crack this puzzle. 

Now, how did the culprit lure Wallflower to him? Well, he had made a makeshift note from the labels of the drugs in the first-aid kit to “lure” Wallflower to the desired location where he will make his move. He must have done this when he “ran” to the bathroom or something. Then, he must have apprehended the victim with the fabric strap (because there was a clear struggle), given the victim a spiked drink, and knocked the victim to death with ice shards. Good job, Doctor Watson. 

Part IV: The Trial

Nevertheless, the author’s presentation of how the clues were found by Sunset and the surviving participants proved smooth. The author’s idea to continually update the previous clues when there is new information helps to order the characters’ and therefore the reader’s chain of thought. To some extent, it is an extension of how easily Sunset was able to connect the dots and understand the links between different clues. It portrays her resilience and her problem-solving skills as something integral to her. 

Moreover, the author’s portrayal of Sunset’s determined thoughts cemented these sentiments, especially when taken in tandem with her actions during her own investigation. But this had achieved more than that; the author strikes out to showcase the emotional strain the participants were in. If they failed to make the right decision, they could be sent to the guillotine, while the culprit, however stupid he might be, would be off scot-free. 

Of course, we must not forget about the other survivors. Their responses to the corpse was undoubtedly warranted, but in spite of it, they were, for the most part, actively searching for and analysing the clues they were given. However, detractors could opine that the survivors had managed to get past their grief in too short a period of time. It could be argued that the survivors, or even Sunset, had the mental stability to be able to conduct a thorough investigation. 

Personally, this speed could be attributed to the situation the survivors were in. They had a limited amount of time available to gather any evidence to justify their case to the rest of the survivors and save their own necks. The drive to save themselves, rather than continually languishing in the grief of someone else, was more important. It also indirectly shows the tension and stress imposed on them, for it made them less empathetic, less caring towards the death of one of them. This indifference also showcased how Monoponi was directly influencing them psychologically and morally. 

Another interesting dynamic worth discussing concerns our victim, Wallflower. While the culprit might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, he minimally had the mental capacity to target an individual that was universally disliked. By that regard, he could shift any suspicions off himself towards those who had been offended by Wallflower, namely Sunset. Beyond this, although Sunset was not necessarily on the best terms with Wallflower, her death had forced Sunset to realise the sanctity of life aboard this cruise ship. It showed how her empathy clashed with her pragmatism to help everyone onboard the ship. 

With regards to their investigation, I enjoyed the constant back-and-forth the characters had in arguing with each other. The author’s skilful usage of shorter paragraphs, condensed descriptions and dialogue tags made the reading of the entire trial smooth. It unknowingly enables readers to read through the prose more quickly, stimulating the speed of the comebacks and interjections between the participants of the trial. This made the atmosphere tense, and hence exciting. 

It was also relatable to see how the participants had been distracted by their baseless accusations motivated by their own distrust and hatred of each other. Although the case can be easily cracked, the solution will become less obvious when the entire courtroom is muddled with interruptions and opinions. In conjunction with the other participants’ juvenility, lack of experience in solving mysteries or both, it was no wonder that this simple mystery took thousands of words of conversation to arrive at a half-baked answer. 

Still, I was somewhat disappointed to see Twilight immediately proposing that the cleaver was the murder weapon that killed Wallflower. Even if one were to consider the circumstances, I highly doubt that Twilight could be that imperceptive. 

Part V: Caught

Timber’s defeat was most satisfying; his slow descent from nervous laughter to a complete nervous breakdown was the final nail in the coffin for him, both physically and metaphorically. However — 

“...Isn’t that right, Timber Spruce, the Ultimate Camp Counselor?”

I wasn’t sure why I felt the need to throw in the fake Ultimate title Monoponi had slapped on him. Maybe it just didn’t feel right to finish without it. Timber, his reaction...all Timber could do was sit there and weep. Everyone stared at him as he cried, not saying a word. Finally, after what felt like hours, Timber got up from his sitting position, took off his backpack, and promptly dumped the contents onto his podium: a pair of makeshift nylon ropes, and three bottles of medicine. Ipecac syrup, powdered laxative, and zolpidem.

“Yeah.” Timber said, his voice hollow. His eyes were like two empty, gaping holes to an endless abyss. His movements were jerky, forced, like he’d lost all energy. “Yeah, I did it. I killed Wallflower Blush.”

Timber’s reaction was rushed. The author could have focused her attention on showing the silence, his guilt, hopelessness and eventual acceptance of the situation. This could model Timber’s own physical reaction to how he struggled to fight between his motivation and his morals before ultimately giving up. This compression made it appear as though this occurred very quickly. Congruent to the pacing of the earlier heated debate, the reader would lack any signal from the prose to focus on this key junction to slow down. 

But is Timber’s motivation justified? He had intended to escape the ship by killing Wallflower without being caught to check on his elder sister. I argue yes. Timber could have felt threatened and uneasy if he did not know about his sister’s whereabouts and condition. In a less-than-ideal mental state, he could have opted to simply prioritise his cherished relative over everyone else, whom he could have perceived as “strangers”. 

Less justifiable would be the remaining passengers’ understanding of his motive, especially at the rate at which they bought his rationale. Granted, his expressive dialogue might have swayed some, but we have to acknowledge that he killed someone they knew on the ship. And he could have killed them, for the sake of his sister. Therefore, Applejack, Flash and Rarity’s reactions seemed to be somewhat exaggerated or contrived. There was much difficulty in believing that Timber’s explicit, unidimensional speech would have such a drastic impact, especially when he was uncovered to be lying earlier. Perhaps I could give Rarity the benefit of doubt; I could see her acting in such a manner. But Applejack? 

We come to Timber’s execution, which could be described as gruesome. Of course, if you are literally baying for crimson blood, I fear you might be disappointed in that department, for the blood depicted in the story is pink. I believe that there is not a significant difference should the colour scheme be reverted, for the executions themselves are fairly violent, in line with the executions in Danganronpa. 

The gory execution had left its mark on Sunset and the others as the former lashed out at Monoponi. Unfortunately, she could not do much against the magical beast, which only exacerbated her awareness of her own helplessness of the situation. Through Sunset’s thoughts, the author capitalises on this development to show the extent of her anxiety and fear of the situation, which makes you feel for her, and deeply. 

This development proves crucial to her relationship with Adagio, which is the final aspect of this chapter. Observing the bloody execution has made Adagio fearful, and she hopes to pick up the broken pieces of her sanity by admitting her true feelings about the matter. (Recall from earlier that she wished to maintain a veneer of indifference to the situation.) Revealing her true thoughts, emotion and even identity to Sunset that she was a siren would help to ease her mentally. The amount Adagio was willing to share with Sunset here evidently shows how the tense atmosphere has gotten into those who could be perceived as “infallible”, and a sign of how distraught individuals were. 

Therefore, the prospect of romance between Adagio and Sunset proved likely, owing to the fostering of trust between them. This was only derived from the execution, which was part of the antagonist’s machinations. This chain of events proves how social interactions are different in testing times, and hence enable the blossoming of the romance organically. 

Part VI: Interlude 1

Back in Equestria, Princess Twilight had received a package. Opening it and switching the television on, she found herself talking to Monoponi, who revealed his dastardly plan. While she might not be initially intimidated by this alicorn, the footage of Wallflower’s and Timber’s death was too much for her to bear. Thinking back to Princess Twilight’s characterisation, this matches up. In line with my own perception of her extrapolated characterisation, Princess Twilight had given into her past panicked self when confronted with her friends being threatened by the prospect of death. It was a line that the antagonist had crossed. 

However, I wished that the transition between these two mental states could have been smoother. More precisely, I wonder what exactly caused Twilight to cave in. Readers are simply told that Twilight was made aware of the nature of the game that her friends were forced to play, resulting in her breaking down mentally. The neutral tone and connotation implied by this statement presents little insight into how strongly Twilight had felt about it. Matching her reactions to the barbaric events that occurred on the ship might be a way to inspire this transition and justify her reaction more convincingly. 

Nonetheless, this interlude presents a unique perspective into the grand scheme of things. It proffers the bigger motive that the antagonist had, which is somehow linked to Princess Twilight in Equestria. Was it his goal to drive Twilight into a frenzy, to rescue her friends at the other side of the portal, at any cost? Was it to lure her to him, and ultimately defeat her in a moment of weakness? As one could see, the author’s decision to insert the interlude here was a smart one; these interludes present a wider perspective of the overall situation, and continue to capture the reader’s attention throughout the story. These little hints made the story mysterious, and contributed to the eeriness of the tense atmosphere on either side of the portal. 

This review will continue in the next post. 

Chapter 2

Part I: Romance between Adagio and Sunset

While I have elaborated on the authenticity of the origins of the relationship between Adagio and Sunset, there are a few additional points here to cover. To start, Adagio’s more perceptive of the danger of others using their relationship against themselves, should they make their romance more public. Again, this builds on Adagio’s personality. Her consistency in how she carried herself, alongside her attitudes was reflected and reinforced. 

I especially enjoyed Adagio’s perceptiveness of the overall situation. Despite Sunset being the reassuring voice, she refuses to buy into her “feel good” and “comforting for the sake of comforting” statements just so she could forget about it, particularly when they are both in the same boat. Her unwarranted actions to push Sunset off the bed and yell at her was henceforth fair. If Adagio’s mind understood the disparity between Sunset’s words and reality, and had memories of the trial, investigation and execution impaled, her sudden actions were relatable. 

As for Sunset, she merely wanted to be a good friend, seeking to tide Adagio across the straits. If she felt that if she had to reassure someone by lying per se, she would, for it would fit her motivation to unite everyone under a banner of strength of hope against the antagonist’s vile motives and schemes. Of course, this circumstance only occurred because Sunset was perhaps not as empathic to Adagio as she had thought; this is primarily owing to the short period of time that they knew each other on the cruise ship. The lack of perfect information from reading each other’s attitudes helped to build their growing relationship, for no relationship is always smooth sailing. 

However, the lack of development of Sunset’s feelings or thoughts relating to their argument was rather disappointing. Notice — 

Oh here we go. My blood boiled over as I hopped to my feet. “Hey, that’s a little uncalled for, don’t you think? I was just trying to help!”

Adagio let out a furious hiss, and for the briefest of moments I thought she might actually attack me. Then, without another word, she spun on her heels, snatched her clothes off the floor, and left the room.

I didn’t see her again until after I’d finished breakfast. I was in the middle of perusing the sporting goods store, mindlessly examining a display of sunglasses out of a lack of anything better to do, when I heard Adagio clear her throat. “Hey.”

One could observe how Sunset’s anger had seemingly evaporated in a matter of a few paragraphs, which certainly caused me to raise an eyebrow. The lack of information presented implies that Sunset did not take the matter too much to heart, even though this is flagrantly contradicted by her earlier dialogue. Compounding matters, this made the pacing too fast, as it seemed as though her emotions had vanished into insignificant obscurity between then and now. While this was foreshadowed a little afterwards during the following conversation, the transition in between was off and abrupt. 

Part II: Monoponi’s Next Move

After Sunset’s flashback, the antagonist had decided to open new facilities, provide a puzzle for the contestants to solve for a reward, and every individual a “secret” about another on their personal devices. As of now, we lack information on the antagonist’s motives. Regardless, his current intention to get to his motive involves catalysing the participants to kill each other. With regards to his characterisation, I say that he has proved to be a witty and cunning individual who would stop at nothing to achieve his goals. 

I enjoyed how the story has welded him to be the case; his actions, which can be seemingly innocent on the surface, were planned to instigate individuals to go against each other and sow the seeds of disunity. He appeared to wield good information regarding each of the contestants to be able to exploit each of their vulnerabilities and get what he wanted at the end of the sequence. Similarly, his machinations were carefully engineered to be able to drive an individual to do something formerly unthinkable because they felt it was for the greater good, either for their own intrinsic “themselves”, or for the benefit of everyone else unmurdered. 

His sadistic nature was also reminiscent of an inherent and perhaps innate bitterness towards something, which must be related to his central goal. Coupled with his intelligence and his mentally corrupted state, I loved how he was portrayed to be dynamic and confident. His initial indifference to the survivors showcased his air of superiority and power over them all. This is definitely one of the bigger plus points about the story for me. 

All these made the following mysteries more interesting to follow and investigate, because there was always a new dimension to consider alongside the standardised context. It kept readers invested and seeking to note each and every matter that occurred on the ship that might prove useful for readers to decipher the case themselves. This, in turn, provides a cycle of enjoyment for the reader. 

The opening of new facilities in this circumstance, which, in this case were the games room, the library and the Ship’s Theatre, not only helped to provide the aforementioned dimension discussed earlier, but also provided settings for characters to interact over, thereby introducing greater opportunities for them to bond with each other and shape their characterisation. For instance, the library affirmed Twilight’s (not Princess Twilight’s!) love for books, and the games room showcased Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo’s competitiveness when they were gaming. Though small, these nuances add up constructively. 

The Ship’s Theatre proved to be the most intriguing room. It played directly into Trixie’s love for magic stage performances, convincing her to organise one, which is something definitely orchestrated by the antagonist to provide an ideal “environment” for an individual to do something. 

There, Trixie’s characteristic costume was also available, where a picture of Trixie, Wallflower and Sunset smiling in the past was found by Sunset. In this scene, readers are reminded of the central “motive” that was discussed in the first chapter — the fact that one of them was responsible for selectively wiping everyone’s memory. The gravity of this was revealed in showing how wrong Sunset had been towards Wallflower, and to a lesser extent, Trixie. It portrayed how disturbing this was, directly from the perspective of the protagonist. It was more applicable in this context, where readers might not be entirely sure how intrusive this “erasing of the memories” was, especially when few have prior experience to relate to. By showing this, readers would have a greater understanding and be more empathic to the pain and anguish felt. 

The author’s exploration into how Sunset had questioned her own belief of Wallflower was a nice touch. What if the photograph was photoshopped, though? I found it a little strange for Sunset to buy into the idea that they used to be friends from the photograph, without questioning its authenticity. For all Sunset knew, the photograph could have been forged by the antagonist to deepen their sorrow upon the realisation that they were murdering their past friends. It could have been a tool to act against her and her psychology by playing mind games. The odd thing is that Sunset was aware of this when Trixie asked her if she could show it to the others to gain their trust. Perhaps a little development into Sunset’s doubt of the photograph’s authenticity could be done.  She would then decide to look at the image with a slight pinch of salt. 

Talking about that, this presents a grand opportunity for the author to mould Trixie’s characterisation. The photograph forged a common bond between the two, giving her the courage to talk about herself in a more casual and general manner. The author builds a persuasive backstory for Trixie, and I found her reason for why she was always speaking in third person to be most believable. It was natural for Trixie to release her true feelings and thoughts, and that she, like everyone else, was presenting a persona to protect herself. In spite of all her bravado, she is internally weeping. Having memories of her life before she had any friends, she continued to look inward, until this photograph reminded her that there was someone else out there who once cared for her. 

Part III: The Trust Game

Diamond Tiara then called everyone for a meeting to share their findings of the new amenities, before proposing to be the “leader” of the group. I also liked the author’s exploration into Diamond Tiara’s characterisation. She was portrayed to be an authoritarian, power-seeking individual who wished to have things done in her way. This is shown by her constant cry for her to be elevated to the “leader” of the group. She has, however, learnt to stand up for herself, even if unwarranted. Remember the slap? 

This was when Trixie proposed the organisation of a magic show to lift everyone’s spirits, before requesting for Sunset’s assistance in the show. Unfortunately, Adagio, noticing this, grew jealous, for she realised that her relationship with Sunset was in jeopardy. Realising this herself, Sunset went to talk to Adagio. In this conversation, it can be argued that Adagio was overreacting by drawing a knife on Sunset, but, considering that Adagio was a predatory siren, it was fair for her to wield a weapon to threaten. While the confrontation flew by quickly, I liked how Sunset had grown as a character by having the awareness to be direct and blunt to Adagio, for that was what she appreciated. 

In turn, that resulted in Adagio finding herself at fault for her accusatory actions, which made her realise what she could have lost from the relationship. The friction between her predatory instinct, extraterritoriality, alongside the new concept of morality and friendship was captivatingly delved into here. 

Being thrust into this killing game, both of them are yet to be able to trust each other sufficiently, as one could tell from the above situation. Sunset’s mental strain was only compounded by her internally questioning Adagio’s actions; this could all be a ruse to force their relationship together so that she could strike at an opportune moment. 

But that’s what the author has done well. All these simply add up to form an ever-growing pile of doubt, fear and distrust that something bad was going to happen amongst all the characters in the story. Even the daily announcements in the morning and night by the captain (the antagonist) provided constant reminders that they were caught in this dilemma. The monotony only sought to hammer the point home, to cause everyone to dread waking up the next day. Worse, the announcement system was also used to inform everyone of the discovery of a dead body. 

Finally, during the magic show, Apple Bloom was speared to death by a quick-release trap at the exact spot Sunset was standing at.

Part IV: The Investigation

We are presented with a more challenging case this time, though it is still somewhat possible to deduce the culprit without jumping into the trial. You are advised to read Chapter 2 Part 5 to have a try at it yourself. Anyways, this was my thought process before the trial: 

The trap was well-built and well-planned. The evidence at hand reveals much about how the trap worked, but there is little insight into who built the device. On the surface, it would seem that Apple Bloom was responsible for her own death. She was supposedly the one who bought the spear from the ticketing counter, and borrowed books on concepts of pulleys, which would prove useful in the construction. However, I fail to buy this argument; the circumstances revealed that she was not expecting to die, and neither do I think that she needs to read up on how to build the trap. 

Being an honour-based system, the book keeping record could be forged. However, the record of purchase of the spear from the arcade’s ticketing counter would be more difficult to justify. Coupled with their tracking system glitching out (each participant had a tracker and could view each other’s position on the ship at any time), I suspect that there must have been a “plot convenient” method to enable the culprit to do such a thing. Now, recall that Monoponi had an unknown puzzle available for the participants to solve in private that came with some kind of reward…

While this explains how these might be possible, we lack any evidence to incriminate anyone. With some confidence, we can eliminate Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Adagio, Sunset, Trixie and Apple Bloom herself. Being calculated, the culprit would not have scrambled the tracking system when they were out in the open. They might have been uncovered in the act of doing so by someone else. 

Returning to the murder weapon itself — the oriental spear —  and verifying whether the author had deliberately dropped any hints, observant readers would quickly acknowledge that Sweetie Belle was reading a novel which featured the use of an oriental spear too. Astute individuals would question the copious level of detail the author had decided to go for when describing Sweetie’s excitement over a translated book. This has to be linked. 

Therefore, one could hypothesise that Sweetie was responsible for the accidental murder of Apple Bloom. The culprit did not want to kill Apple Bloom; their intention was to kill Sunset by setting the trap at the predetermined position Sunset would be during the magic show. Though her motives are unclear, it might have a link to the antagonist’s puzzle. 

Part V: Before the Trial

Anyways, the thought process behind the construction of such an elaborate trap is worthy of commendable praise. I liked how the trap was fashioned in a crude, yet effective manner, and that the device would be innocently linked to the switches of the theatre for an individual to trigger the timer. The culprit’s decision to utilise materials from locations where everyone knew Apple Bloom was at threw a wrench into many readers’ thought processes when guessing. The culprit was definitely smarter than a sixth grader. 

Before delving into the investigation proper, let’s delve into the reactions of the crowd, namely Applejack and Adagio. Applejack, being the victim’s sister, was the hardest hit. Just as expected from her persona, she had attempted to avoid showing her emotions openly to the rest of the group. But, with her pre-existing mental strain, it was understandable for Applejack to give in to her sorrows to cry, even if privately. This just shows how even Applejack had her own limits to how much she could tolerate, and the extent of the struggle and stress endured when one is aboard the ship, which was a subtle touch. 

This is also true for Adagio. From the story, she cried because she was unable to save Apple Bloom in time and she realised Apple Bloom’s sacrifice. Personally, I felt that it was more of the latter rather than the former, but I did not expect Adagio to have such an adverse reaction because she was not portrayed to be close to her. 

In actuality, the heroic nature of her sacrifice showed how selfless some participants were, and that bravery to take one for the team with the ultimate sacrifice were the real reasons why. It also reflects on Adagio’s character in another way. It shows how she, as a siren, had never had a friend who would go out of their way to ensure your survival, which was why she had many difficulties in her own relationship with Sunset. 

Strangely, I felt that the prose had downplayed Sunset’s own emotions at the chain of events. The story had seemed to focus more on the gravity of the situation relative to Adagio, Applejack and the others, such as Flash, rather than Sunset’s own. There was little development to show Sunset’s gratitude for her sacrifice. Sunset appeared to be rather indifferent by the fact that someone she somewhat treasured as a friend died for her survival. She was actually more concerned that she was a target, which, while fair, does not excuse the before-mentioned matter. This was encapsulated in her monologue at the end of the investigation. 

Part VI: The Trial 

Pressing on with the investigation, I found that the clues given made it difficult to precisely determine who was the culprit. Even though I could guess that the culprit was likely Sweetie, based on the coincidences offered, there was every chance that the culprit could have chosen a spear to incriminate Sweetie. This is so that they can escape scot-free. Therefore, given only the clues and the information in the earlier chapters, there is little information available to make an informed guess. Unfortunately, owing to this revelation, and without further clues given in the trial itself, it was difficult to solve this case accurately. 

Even the characters themselves had difficulty in trying to piece together the given clues that they had, especially since they might not have noticed what Sunset had seen from her own experience. Like us, they had trouble surmounting the challenge of deciding whether their evidence was falsely leading them in the wrong direction. This made the trial more exciting to read, as accusations were based remotely from the clues given. The lack of a clear direction ahead from the clues forced them to seriously consider each proposal. The uncertainty on the reader’s own deduction also helped to cast doubt on their own investigative lenses. 

One aspect of the trial involved discussion about every individual’s “secret”. Each individual was given another person’s “secret” by the antagonist to motivate them to kill. Since the culprit had intended for Sunset’s death, she had to deduce her own “secret”, so that the motive would become clear. 

As Monoponi would make her “secret” as incriminating as possible, Sunset assumed that her secret involved her being from another realm, namely Equestria. Therefore, Sunset had decided to summon her courage to throw this out openly, in spite of the clear risk of being accused. In line with her own motivations, this shows how she would risk her own safety for the justice of the trial, padding more onto her characterisation. 

Undeniably, there was much shock; Sunset had kept this secret from the rest of the survivors, Adagio notwithstanding. Such a betrayal would warrant the entire group to have their suspicions on her. She had to be responsible and be the traitor because both she and the antagonist were from Equestria. Shockingly to me, such doubt was cast aside when this happened: 

Applejack doffed her hat and placed it down gently. She fixed her gaze upon me, like twin emerald drills burrowing into my brain, searching for secrets. “Sunset. Be honest with me now. Tell me to mah face. Are you the traitor? Did you set this game up with Monoponi?”

“No!” I cried out. “No, Applejack. I didn’t, okay? I’m innocent.” Please. Please believe me, Applejack. I’m telling you the truth.

Applejack continued to stare for several long, slow moments. “Is that so?” she muttered. “Hmm.” Then she nodded. “Alright then. Ah believe her, y’all. She’s tellin’ the truth.”

On one hand, Applejack has a knack at determining whether an individual is telling the truth or not. On the other hand, the “truth” need not be what had happened in actuality, but rather the genuine reflection of what the individual was aware about. In this case, Sunset could be responsible for setting up the game with the antagonist, but she might not be aware of this; her memory could have been wiped clean. 

Additionally, I was rather disappointed that the plot had to exploit Applejack’s ability to clear Sunset’s name. She could have doubted her own abilities in uncovering the truth from her tone, expression and body language if she had huge concerns and suspicions over Sunset’s responsibility. 

On top of this, the remaining characters had decided to trust Applejack without much questioning. Of course, Applejack might not be the best liar, but she could have lied too. If I were a third party, I would have found it difficult to be convinced of Sunset’s guilt just because she said so, and Applejack did not detect a lie from her. I would have wondered if I would have trusted Applejack for a moment before making a decision. 

For the characters in the story, they simply accepted it at face value and waved it off without much consequence for Sunset. I wished that the story would have delved into how Sunset couldn’t be the culprit of the murder, to eliminate her off everyone’s suspicions. Applejack’s assertion could be included, but I felt that it was insufficient to clear Sunset’s name. A greater exploration of Equestria will be done in future chapters, fortunately. 

It was also saddening that Monoponi had to provide clues for them to proceed with their investigation, when it could be deduced; after all, this is the only way for the culprit to be able to scramble the tracking coordinate system as only Monoponi could be capable of this. 

After much deliberation, Sunset had managed to suspect Sweetie through coincidences in the oriental spear, and her dialogue. The key information required to crack this case, however, was revealed during the trial itself, pertaining to the spinning ultimates. 

To keep you up to speed, every participant has an “Ultimate”, except for the Cutie Mark Crusaders, whose Ultimate was still spinning like a slot machine. Although we were aware of the Apple Bloom’s Ultimate before the trial had begun, we had no information on Sweetie’s, or even Scootaloo’s (for the process of elimination). Therefore, Sweetie could not be fished out before the trial. 

It was only the identification of Sweetie’s Ultimate, which was “the Ultimate Sapper”, could one easily draw a link to the construction of the trap. I suspect that the author did not include this key hint for a few reasons. One, it would have made the investigation too easy. Two, by explicitly stating Sweetie’s Ultimate without mentioning others, it centres suspicions on her immediately from the start of the trial. And hence, three, it would be difficult to insert it to fit the prose naturally. 

In any circumstance, I wonder if there would have been another hint that would have helped such that the investigation could have been more solvable initially. Could the size of the footprints (uncovered by dusting it with powder, say flour) on the step ladder help to narrow it down? Food for thought! 

Part VII: Disappointment

Exposed, Sweetie had no choice but to admit her guilt and face her elder sister. A fuming Rarity erupted, spewing chunks and chunks of dialogue that showered Sweetie with guilt, disappointment and shame. The length of Rarity’s dialogues, though long, were intentional to show how rapidly her words left her mouth to reprimand her younger sister. 

The reader’s natural instinct to scan through the long paragraph only sought to increase the effectiveness of the technique. In addition, the foreshadowing of the sandwiched development on Rarity’s body language, facial expressions and action emphasised the dialogue. In a similar vein, it also shows the little respite Sweetie had from the verbal bombardment. The author had done great justice to this dynamic. 

But beyond this, the fallout from the situation affected everyone. From Sunset’s perspective, she could not help but feel hurt that a “friend” was going to be executed for something she was influenced to do, for the “betterment of everyone”. When the participants had been desensitized to the violence and the killings, was it fair to forgive someone like Sweetie Belle, especially when she would ultimately pay the final price for her actions? This multimodal framework employed presented a more inquisitive view into something beyond the story itself, but our individual, or even individualistic, concept of morality. 

Sweetie Belle was executed. 

Part VIII: Interlude 2

From Equestria, Princess Twilight has arrived in the human realm to save her friends aboard the cruise ship. There, an observant Principal Luna notes how “Monoponi is targeting…[Princess Twilight] personally”, to which Twilight responds, “I think it is someone I’ve dealt with before.” The story hints that Monoponi would be a transmogrified version of one of the villains Twilight had faced before. Maybe Chrysalis?

The intriguing development in this interlude explores the diplomacy between Earth and Equestria. Note that Monoponi was an alicorn in the human realm causing the deaths of human citizens. Thus, Equestria had to answer for the situation. Being ruler of Equestria, we glean into the difficulties Princess Twilight had when navigating through the crisis. 

Her challenge of balancing between her state’s interest and her friend was appropriately depicted through her interaction with the local authorities and her own reflective thought process. Her quandary was exemplified during her interaction with (the human) Chief Spitfire, who sought to very pointedly inform Princess Twilight of the ramifications. More specifically, that Princess Twilight, on behalf of her state, had to answer to the families whose son or daughter had perished in this killing game. 

Princess Twilight has been shown to be more mature. But thanks to the complex situation of people or ponies from two different realities, the author has captured the reader’s attention to see what measures she would take to rescue the hostages. The standardised layering of the chapters and the interludes helped to show that the two events were occurring simultaneously. 

This review will continue in the next post. 

Chapter 3

Part I: Trixie, Adagio and Sunset 

Throughout this chapter, there was much development on the relationship of the trio, starting with a trivial argument between Adagio and Trixie about who should use the bathroom first. Again, there was another arc of exploration into how they were together so that they could be more relieved that there was someone else looking out for them. Hence, the story reinforces the elevating level of anxiety faced, particularly after the death of Sweetie and Apple Bloom.  

Talking about Adagio, I appreciated the author’s choice to take advantage of the sirens’ culture and tradition in portraying her devotion towards the relationship. By showing the level of consideration that Adagio had when planning ahead for the future, it evidenced the perceived depth of their relationship, from her own perspective. Introducing this through the Sunset’s curiosity, which was born out of concern for Adagio, helped integrate a level of authenticity to it. This also had the additional effect of foreshadowing the sanctity of the ritual. The subtlety was nice.

As for Trixie, I liked the story’s take on her. As her memories of friendship were erased by the antagonist, she clung onto the friendship she now treasured with Sunset. As Trixie mentioned herself, she did not know about how much she could have treasured friendship. It was hence so relatable to see the desperation that Trixie had to maintain the friendship, by reciprocating or by constantly interacting with Sunset. It showed the genuity of how much Trixie cared about their friendship. 

Unfortunately, this “clinging” had introduced other ideas into the minds of the other survivors. 

Part II: Keeping Secrets

Being a new round, the antagonist had decided to open another set of new amenities for the survivors. The inclusion of a sauna that could go up to three hundred degrees Fahrenheit was eye-raising; I have not come across a sauna that has a temperature that can surpass the boiling point of water. Then again, the antagonist must have this specially installed as a potential method of murder, being the cunning individual he was. 

However, I was rather perplexed to realise that only the latest amenities opened were actively used in the chapter. The library, the theatre and the arcade seemed to have faded into obscurity after the chapter they were introduced. Granted, the library’s book-keeping record would prove useful. I also understand that there might be a rush to try out the new facilities and avoid the “tainted” ones that were somehow related to the past murders. 

Still, since these facilities were later referenced to in future chapters, I felt that the author could have at least referred to them occasionally as a reminder of their existence. In fact, the author could also exploit the fact that everyone was so afraid of going to these places. It would help portray the emotional dread and sorrow attached to these places, especially the theatre.

In addition to the new amenities, the antagonist had decided to offer the survivors an incentive to conduct a “rescue attempt” — this time, should one be successful in a rescue attempt, the individual could escape with another, with the added caveat that they could not cooperate with each other. Similarly, we can deduce that the antagonist was trying to motivate a few, specific individuals who might be desperate to escape with their “plus one”, showing that his entire scheme was pre-planned. 

His cruelty was also firmly established with his lack of concern regarding the burning of bridges involved when one has to fool even their friend to escape together. This was further corroborated when he declared that everyone was free to share each other’s secrets if desired. This bolstered his characterisation, and even provided hints to his identity. 

Remember Sunset’s secret? I was rather disappointed that most of the survivors minus Twilight and Diamond had no qualms about this fact. Granted, Sunset had helped them crack two of the mysteries on the ship, saving all of their lives, but there had to be some level of suspicion against her, perhaps similar to Diamond Tiara’s perspective in the story. Congruent to Twilight’s belief, in spite of all of their prior interactions with each other, they could not be absolutely certain that Sunset was not responsible or suspicious. In my opinion, if Sunset had been forced to clear her name in a more rigorous manner, they would have trusted her more now, explaining the present sentiment. 

This brings us back to the inconsolable Applejack and Rarity, who were still mourning for their sisters’ death and execution respectively. Perhaps Applejack had less trouble getting over the incident, because she could sense Sunset’s innocence, but Rarity had a different story to tell. I had expected her to blame Sunset, because she did not reveal her “secret” to anyone, leading to her sister murdering Apple Bloom mistakenly. However, she must have felt shameful that she did not groom her sister to have the moral compass to do what was right, especially when tempted by the antagonist’s motivations. The author’s attempt to show this emotional impasse was well-built. 

Sunset’s reaction to being pushed away from Rarity was fortunately cushioned by Applejack’s relieving words, whose maturity had persevered to fend off against any wild thoughts. However, this did not mean that there was something at the back of Sunset’s mind at picking at her conscience. The insertion of this aspect provided a multi-dimensional nuance to the piece, which was gratifying. 

Part III: Diamond Tiara’s Reversal

Moving on, after the meeting with the antagonist, Diamond had suddenly brought herself to apologise to Sunset. This occurred not too long after Diamond had expressed her suspicions on Sunset due to her secret discussed earlier. It was obvious why I was as shocked as the characters to realise the sudden change in arrangements. 

According to Diamond, she wished to make amends after how she had treated Sunset during the trial after some personal reflection during the night after. However, it was rather odd to discover that, despite her wish to make amends, she pressed on with her accusation of Sunset being the traitor, which occurred during the early morning meeting. Therefore, her change in her character was undeniably jarring. 

I wished that the author could have foreshadowed this change, even slightly, during the morning meeting. Perhaps a small, gradual change into how she presented herself as a repentant leader with some small steps. While I understand that the author wished to make Diamond’s change of personality a surprise for the readers, I felt that it was unjustifiably abrupt. Her reasoning did not hold up to scrutiny either, if Sunset was more observant to realise this.

It can also be argued that it was intentional for Diamond to lie about her change of heart. Unfortunately, Diamond did remain true to her words. 

In addition, Sunset appeared to have taken Diamond’s words at face value, although she was aware of the brat’s demeanour. Even if Sunset could “sense” that Diamond was sincere about her apology, thanks to her “empathic” nature, I would not have expected Sunset to cave in and agree to giving her a second chance for her actions that quickly. The dialogue-orientated development in this section made the reconciliation of their relationship almost too fast to be convincing, although Sunset was aware that this could all be a trap to lure her into a sense of security. 

On the other hand, I appreciated the author’s choice to enable Diamond to commit to sharing something shameful about herself to gain Sunset’s trust. In this case, Diamond attempted to deduce her own secret that someone was holding onto. This gesture was a token to restore their relations, showing how serious Diamond was in this. Moreover, the story Diamond had chosen to regale had the added benefit in explaining why she acted as such with the others at the start. The development of her upbringing and the social environment she had to acclimate to not only added greater scope to her characterisation, but also built empathy for her, despite what she was before. 

Part IV: Twilight’s Distrust

The shift in Diamond’s attitude did not fool the others, though. Taking that to the extreme, you have the most paranoid survivor — Twilight Sparkle, who had become very distrustful of everyone around her. Apparently, as a result of the events that occurred in the previous trial, Twilight had learnt to not trust anyone but herself. Actually, her meticulous nature would easily nudge her into such a position, along with the anxiety of the situation, which was nice. However, readers can infer the speed from which Twilight’s attitude towards Sunset had changed. 

At the end of the previous trial, Twilight was depicted to be cold, but reasonable to the situation, saying that she would want to talk to Sunset about this seriously. However, in the next day, Twilight was shown to be defensive and chilly as she was lashing at those who had seemed to disagree with her position, namely Fluttershy. Similar to Diamond Tiara, the change in attitude was also rather rapid. Fortunately, Twilight’s mania, in conjunction with the haunting experience on the ship might have made her very protective of herself to the point that this might have been possible. The time lag between the two instances could have given her an insight into what she could best do in an attempt at self-preservation. 

Although she might be romantically inclined to Flash Sentry, she was also shown to be hesitant to trust him entirely, due to the greater reason of her personal safety. Her overthinking was hence well-portrayed, as she could not even trust her closest associate onboard owing to her chain of logic. Even though short, I liked the conversation Flash had with Sunset, where he vented his thoughts about the situation. Ultimately, he acted as a counterweight to her staunch, and perhaps, flawed beliefs about the prevailing situation, which was testament to the relationship they had together. And indeed, since the author was dealing with a whopping seventeen characters, every bit of characterisation would be beneficial. 

Part V: Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rainbow Dash

Let us now focus our attention on Fluttershy. Throughout the story, she has been shown to be exclusively close to Rainbow Dash, but she had decided to apologise to Sunset and Adagio, sparking conversation. She wanted to apologise due to her apparently “uncalled for” behaviour at the trial, but as expected, it was a trivial matter. This suited Fluttershy’s timid nature as she would be fearful of making enemies unintentionally, causing her to exercise and judge her own personality critically and cautiously. Her dialogue, too, accentuated this. 

The conversation was also peppered with the classic dynamic between Sunset and Adagio, which was always nice to see. This was not exclusive to Fluttershy’s first guard shift to keep an eye on their surroundings. Sunset and Adagio remained to keep her company, where they had more opportunities to get to know each other better. 

Pinkie should also be discussed next. The story had not developed Pinkie’s characterisation directly, and thus significantly, because Sunset had little interaction with her. The only few instances where she did have some experience with Pinkie’s demeanour was either during the meetings organised by Diamond, or by the antagonist. As a result, it gave an impression that Pinkie was seemingly left alone to her devices. 

Detractors could argue that the prose had not delved deep into how upset, or anxious, Pinkie was from the fact that her party was exploited to murder someone. On the contrary, Pinkie’s inward-looking attitude after the party showed her pulling back on social activity, which explained the lack of development. The lack of information in this case actually helped to foreshadow the observations that Fluttershy and the rest would soon describe, which was well done. 

And even in the few instances Pinkie was described, readers could notice the slow descent into sorrow by comparing her expected, nonchalant attitude after the announcement of the killing game to her uncaring, distressing attitude towards anything. It was clear that every participant’s first impression of Pinkie had convinced them to avoid conversation, with detrimental repercussions. 

During their casual conversation, Fluttershy noted how she was worried for Pinkie, as unlike her, she did not have someone who she could talk to. That was when Sunset convinced Fluttershy to go jewelry shopping with Pinkie to cheer her up. 

But Fluttershy was caught stealing from the jewelry shop, causing the antagonist to execute her immediately on the spot. 

I would not proceed with my analysis of why Fluttershy would do such a thing; I would reserve that for the next section. More fitting to the discussion here would be the emotional impact this execution had on everyone else, starting with Rainbow. During the execution, it was shown that her loyalty towards her friendship with Fluttershy was only matched with the prospect of her probable death. This conveyed the sheer strength of their bond after having interacted and supported each other for the two murder mysteries, and also Rainbow’s loyalty, obviously.

The effect of this trauma destroyed Rainbow’s extrovertedness, causing her to give into the temptation of social exclusion so that no one could see her in such a state. Again, this was corresponding to Rainbow’s experiences shown in canon, but amplified relative to this circumstance. 

Having just got to know Fluttershy well, Sunset was too emotionally-wrought, which prompted her to consider the prospect of suicide. Granted, driven by her motivation to get to the bottom of this and save as many individuals as possible, she felt that she had a huge responsibility to care for everyone. Her link to Equestria only compounded this sentiment. It was painful for her to see that her goals were so detached from the harshness of reality. 

However, the speed at which Sunset had managed to recover from her suicidal thoughts was too fast for one to be convinced that she was in any dire, concernable condition to empathise with. In addition, this was not built-up cumulatively, which made the introduction of this topic rather sudden. Even if this was the first of many suicidal thoughts, Sunset would not have gone down this far yet without prior intrinsic contemplation. 

Notwithstanding the above, this would also have the added benefit of building tension. Paragraphing, extending the spiral of thoughts and layering her conflicting emotions would have strengthened the prose by looking into its structure. The suspense would also aid in the pacing department, making the scene more persuasive, and make the possibility of suicide dangerously probable.  

In my opinion, Pinkie was the worst-hit. I sympathised with her the most; she had suffered all by herself, and during that one time that someone had tried to comfort her, they got themselves killed. The author had aptly taken advantage of Pinkie’s dialogue to show her disinterest into everything but Fluttershy’s death; notice how the full stops in her dialogue had managed to convey how dead her voice was. Also, the contrast between her often friendly “okie dokie loki” and the following period emphasised that too, observe — 

“Oh.” Pinkie’s frown flipped back to the goofy smile as she scooped up her fork and tossed the fallen eggs into her mouth, carpet fuzz and all. “Okie dokie loki.”

Moreover, notice the sudden change in behaviour when reminded of the traumatic incident, characterised by the following excerpt — 

Pinkie dropped her fork to her plate. Her happy smile flipped to an ugly, gross frown. “Not much? Not much?!” She slammed a fist on her table, sending her fork clattering to the floor. “Fluttershy died yesterday, and you call that not much?!”

These hinted at the psychological state Pinkie was in. It was also during the same conversation with Sunset did Pinkie discuss philosophical matters and other euphemisms, which showed how delusional she had become. 

It was perhaps unsurprising that Pinkie was soon discovered dead. 

Part VI: The Investigation: Fluttershy

Personally, it took me some time to solve this set of mysteries, but it was still possible to do so before the trial. This was primarily due to the fact that the death of Fluttershy and Pinkie were most likely related to each other. It was hence salient to match the evidence accurately to prevent one from being muddled by the obfuscating evidence. If you have not read beyond Chapter 3, Part 6, I recommend giving this a shot first. I would advise considering the case systematically; it is key to solve this mystery. 

Earlier, Fluttershy had been accused by the antagonist to have stolen a piece of jewelry from the shop, causing her to be executed on the spot. However, I doubted that she would have done so intentionally; the purchase of any goods or services on the ship was free at this point. All one had to do to purchase an item was to scan the item with their personalised tablet. Supported by her own reaction of shock, Fluttershy most likely did not do this intentionally. 

This implied that someone had planted the jewelry on her, or had tricked her into this. For the former to occur, the individual had to be in the shop, else the individual themselves would have been caught first. This left Pinkie as the only suspect in this case. However, based on her reaction towards Fluttershy’s death, and the proceeding fallout on her mental state of mind, she did not anticipate her friend’s death. In addition, she would not have thought of harming an individual hoping to cheer her up from her morose state, and she had also swore to never harm anyone on the ship during the meeting. 

While the aforementioned had proven that Pinkie might not have done this intentionally, she could have been fooled into planting it on Fluttershy. A piece of evidence revealed that there was a torn-up note, seemingly written by Rainbow Dash, in Pinkie’s wastepaper basket. It was written supposedly to convince Pinkie to “surprise” Fluttershy at the jewelry store. It must be acknowledged that the handwriting on the note was a near perfect match for Rainbow’s, except the tilt. 

However, Rainbow could not have. If it was Rainbow who had written the note, she would have covered her tracks by altering her own handwriting. And even if she did not, graphologists out there would comment that it was difficult to alter the tilt of one’s handwriting without warping their calligraphic flourishes or attributes. Hence, notwithstanding the lack of motive on Rainbow’s part, and her relationship with Fluttershy, Rainbow was most likely not responsible for the death of her own friend. 

So, who could have easy access to Rainbow’s handwriting, to be able to forge it effectively? An additional clue was granted by the author by revealing that the culprit had compared her handwriting in the library book-keeping record. Twilight, with her love for reading and books, appeared to be a prime suspect. She would have had sufficient time to master Rainbow’s handwriting. 

The final coup de grâce for Twilight was her arguments with Fluttershy during the meeting on the subject of trusting Sunset. It provided a motive for Twilight to send a message to Fluttershy to justify her earlier points. Her nonchalant reaction towards the alarm bells ringing when Fluttershy was in the jewelry shop confirmed this assessment. 

Part VII: The Investigation: Pinkie

Now for Pinkie. I had shown that Pinkie had fallen into a state of depression earlier, and that she was contemplating on what she should do vaguely with Sunset through euphemisms. Probably spurred on by Sunset, she must have confronted Rainbow to hold her accountable for the murder of Fluttershy, based on the handwriting on the note. Rainbow, denying this, had most likely gone into an argument with Pinkie. Could Rainbow be responsible for the murder of Pinkie? 

Now, the author had tried her hardest to confuse the reader by attaching additional comments with the evidence in an attempt to sway them astray. Let’s focus on the evidence themselves, beginning with the fact that both of Pinkie’s fifth metacarpal bones on either hand were broken. Linking this to the traces of blood in the sauna and the rashes on her skin, one could infer that she was trapped in the sauna when it was set at a high temperature. 

Rainbow could have been responsible for this. With some confidence, I could say that she might not have intended for the death of Pinkie, but she still wanted to vent out her anger at her. Remember, her motive would not be as strong as, say the one proffered by the antagonist — to be able to bring a “plus one” to escape — since Fluttershy was already dead. 

But, she could not have died from this alone; she had sustained other injuries as well. A more likely cause of death would be a simple overdose, since the syringes Pinkie had on her were expended. The puncture wounds into her chest also supports this theory. If my conjecture was accurate, Rainbow would not have done this, because she would surely know that this would mean that she was the murderer. So, who had done this? 

We don’t know yet. We still have to explain a few more pieces of evidence — namely the picture of Pinkie being assaulted by a seventy pound dumbbell, which could apparently be used by a few individuals, including Rainbow. Assuming Rainbow herself had done this, why would she have allowed the image to be saved on Pinkie’s own tablet? Remember, if so, Rainbow must have had control over Pinkie’s tablet; she was sending quarter hour updates from Pinkie “guard shift” when she was already dead. 

Therefore, the only conclusion would be that this photograph was saved because Rainbow had intended to shift the blame of murder to someone else, namely the remaining four individuals who could equip this seventy pound dumbbell. Most pertinently, this leads to the possibility that Rainbow and the culprit were trying to shift the blame of Pinkie’s death on each other, or on someone else, without each other’s awareness. This explains the copious amount of evidence. 

Somehow, either the culprit or Rainbow had managed to discard Pinkie’s body into the pool. Rainbow could not be eliminated from our suspicion, since she was an excellent swimmer herself. Recalling that there was a piece of evidence that talked about the soaked weights in the gym, the weights had to have been in the pool before. 

It seemed possible that Rainbow had placed the weights in the pool, since she was the most athletic of the group, while the culprit had retrieved them from the pool, with a rope. The inverse was not likely; the culprit would not have gone through the extra effort to bring the weights over, which might leave more clues behind, but that point is not salient. The more pivotal hint here would be that the culprit was an excellent swimmer as well, which points us towards Adagio and Trixie. 

Confirming this, Adagio and Trixie could have been tempted by the antagonist’s motive as they could escape with Sunset as their “plus one”. But who? I struggle to carry on with the investigation myself here, and we will have to proceed to the trial for further clues. 

Part VIII: Before the Trial

An initial observation about this investigation would be the copious amount of “factual baggage” that was attached to each clue. This was rather prevalent in this case; for instance, the author had gone into much detail about who could be capable of lifting the seventy pound dumbbell in the clue itself. I felt that the scope of the clue could have been limited to the description of the seventy pound dumbbell itself, leaving the interpretation and usage of the clue to the character in the trial. 

Leaving it open provides more opportunity for characters to bicker and discuss during the trial, and increase the difficulty of cracking the puzzle before the trial. Another reason would be that it would be easier to navigate between the pieces of evidence. The reader might be confused, since the reader might not know which fact was so-called “objectively” found from observation on the ship or “deduced” from the observation. 

Another example would be the compression of two verbal accounts into one clue for Fact #19 and Fact#20. Readers would be aware that the inclusion of a single verbal account could already be too long, and therefore hard to trace by memory. An example would be Twilight’s recount in Fact#14. So, it was a greater challenge to interpret and thus follow the proceeding explanation during the trial when the two facts were brought up into scrutiny. Splitting these into their own factual recounts might help, while summarising them as much as possible to avoid the problem in Fact#14. 

Moving on, during every trial, the antagonist had placed a picture of the murdered or executed individual who had once sat in that position. Normally, these pictures had inspired Sunset to be thorough in her analysis to ensure that their lives were not lost for nothing. Their pictures, being a memory to who they were, could bring back the experiences of seeing their death. Of course, with the passing of time on the ship, most, including Sunset, might have become numb to this feeling of guilt that they could not save them. 

However, this trial had added another variable into equation — Sunset’s own actions had implicated the murder of one of the dead. The juxtaposition of Fluttershy’s and Pinkie’s portrayal in their inanimate photographs sharpened the guilt that Sunset had a direct hand in this, and this could have been avoided. This accentuated her remorse, and her desire in cracking the mystery. 

Another matter which I had previously overlooked would be the decor the antagonist had chosen for the trial. It was always related to the taste and environment of the murdered. On the surface, this point appears trivial, but it becomes unnerving when one steps into the shoes of the survivors. You catch a glimpse of what you had lost to someone within “us”. Though subtle, the impact could not be understated. 

Part IX: The Trial 

It was expected that the trial would be an iterative mess, thanks to the wider time frame and the many pieces of conflicting evidence. It was enjoyable to see Twilight going bananas over her paranoia by blaming Sunset for her “secret”. That obviously somehow meant that she had to be responsible for the murders. This extension had helped to show how Twilight strived to clutch at finding a way to connect the dots given by the evidence to accuse Sunset at every opportunity. 

It showed how clouded her mind was over Sunset, and how fixated she was in achieving her goal to incriminate her. To some extent, this constant diversion towards Sunset would be a way to disrupt their investigation, which ascertained her guilt in the death of one of the victims. This foreshadowing from the consistency of her attitude of mind, however amplified by the situation, was also a great way to showcase her personality. Diamond Tiara’s sudden change in attitude did not help Twilight’s irrationality. 

It was also gratifying to note that Sunset was not as infallible as she had been in the previous trials in her deductions. It showed how Sunset had taken her support from the rest for granted, and how she had gradually become increasingly confident in her deductive reasoning. But this was also due to her desperation to solve this mystery quickly, most likely due to her conscience driving her to free herself of guilt and get this over with. 

Her erroneous accusation of Applejack would have to be discussed. When she struggled and realised that all the evidence was stacked against her deduction, it was understandable that she broke down. 

“I’d like to think Rainbow Dash would’ve informed me as well, if she’d seen them,” Twilight said, smirking at me. “Nice try though, Sunset. You idiot.”

My face fell into my hands. I’m wrong. I’m so wrong. I went completely the wrong way with this. Good job Sunset. Good fucking job. “I’m sorry,” I gasped, struggling not to cry. “I just, I thought—”

While Sunset’s reaction was natural, I posit that the author could have broken this process of breaking down into smaller chunks that would draw attention to how badly Sunset had felt in this situation. More precisely, I understand that the italicised parts showcase the rush of dread that she was so wrong, and the numerous, shorter sentences help to accentuate. 

This would be broken into two trains of thought, though; there was a change between how she was so wrong, to how she was so incensed at herself. For instance — 

My face fell into my hands. I’m wrong. I’m so wrong. I went completely the wrong way with this. 

Good job Sunset. Good fucking job. 

“I’m sorry,” I gasped, struggling not to cry. “I just, I thought—”

By splitting this into two, you have the rational side of her mind continually telling her the extent of her errors, while the “irrational” side sarcastically complimenting her other side. The paragraphing also helped to introduce suspense and the momentary pause that one would have before breaking down physically. This will be a more natural way to transition into the dialogue, which encapsulates her mental state. 

After this, Applejack and Rarity, who were both understandably upset by the provocatory accusation, had managed to somehow cool off instantaneously to console Sunset. 

I found this somewhat hard to believe. Before, Applejack was visibly aggravated by the accusation as she had released her anger on the table and chairs. And after she had noticed Sunset crying, all of Applejack’s rage just evaporated in an instant. Granted, they would have noticed how the rest of the survivors had conveniently blamed Sunset for the misjudgement in a cascade of reprimands. 

This would explain their compassion for Sunset. However, the physical portrayal of Sunset of her breaking down within was not comprehensively shown to the rest, or at least to the reader. The lack of emphasis on the change of Sunset’s mental attitude, coupled with the single-paragraph development of Sunset’s reaction, made it difficult for me to empathise with Sunset from either perspective. 

Anyways, for the sake of completeness, the scrum debates would be briefly discussed here. The author had stayed faithful to Danganronpa by introducing this, though it was also for the antagonist’s enjoyment. Although the scrum debate in all trials proved to be inconsequential in the final verdict, they were always conducted at the first part of the trial, when most of the details had not been ironed out. 

However, the entertainment factor in noticing Sunset groan at this scene, reminiscent of her time playing Danganronpa herself, was undeniable. Furthermore, the scrum debate also showed how muddled and convoluted it was to identify the culprit, which exemplified the difficulty of getting a group of people to agree on a specific matter. 

The nice twist about this case centres about Rainbow's “guilt”. The author had managed to assist the prosecutors by giving them a logical motive — she wanted revenge. Besides, the evidence made available to the case were also primed to play on this motive, and mislead the group into blackening Rainbow. The explanation proffered by Sunset in leading the prosecution proved so convincing that I had almost intended to throw my hypothesis into the trash. Being well-substantiated, it was a brilliant argument for the case. 

The reversal of this position was also concrete, thanks to Sunset’s vigour in her deduction. This enabled the twist to shine through beautifully. However, the constant “rule bending” was rather irritating for me, personally. In fact, I argue that the murder of Fluttershy by the antagonist was not a violation of the rule that stated that “[the antagonist]...cannot participate in a rescue attempt.” On the other hand, the swapping of filled syringes with empty ones in the pharmacy was definitely a violation of the law on theft. 

For the first, the antagonist’s reasoning was justified. If he was deceived by an individual to murder their target, he was not participating with the intent of breaking this rule, because he was not aware. Being “above the law”, he would not want to punish himself and, though he did not know of it at the time, he had introduced a layer of complexity to this trial. He would have allowed for this. As for the second, it is blatant theft if an individual had knowingly taken an item of the shop’s property and swapped with their own. This rule was broken even more flagrantly when the culprit had swapped out the filled syringes with depleted or half-filled ones. 

But to be fair, being all-knowing, the antagonist would be aware of this theft and the murder, and probably wanted to complicate the mystery even more. The execution of the culprit then would have pointed the survivors to who was responsible for the murder of Pinkie. Still, I had looked forward to a more interesting explanation to how the evidence could match up. 

As a whole, this trial was one of the highlights of this story. Sunset’s deductive reasoning was impeccable during the latter half, enabling her to accurately determine that Trixie was responsible. The twist was, by and large, well-executed. The dialogue remained punchy and sharp throughout. 

But the game wasn’t over. As the antagonist had intended to stick to his plan of only killing one of the culprits, he had organised a game show where the survivors would vote on who to “kill”. I honestly found this scene complementary to the overall trial; the antagonist’s sadistic nature was highlighted when he was toying around with the sanctity of the survivor's lives here for his own entertainment. 

This was emphasised further with the introduction of another cruel twist. Logically, the culprit with the most number of votes would be saved from execution. This was the reason why I could not blame the “contestants” for not asking; it was something so obvious that asking would provide a convenient excuse for the antagonist to execute them. However, as the antagonist had not clearly specified the rules of the game, he declared that the one with the most votes got to stay after voting. It was a marvellous twist that showcased the antagonist’s cunning ways to bend the rules into his favour to accomplish his goals. 

Moreover, this sought to emphasise the extent of Trixie’s betrayal. Everyone else was aghast that she, the most undeserving individual to stay alive, would be allowed to do so. The fact that they had a genuine stake in the matter only made them feel more sickened at what they had done. The atmosphere was aptly filled with hatred.

As for Sunset, she was infuriated by her “friend” (Trixie) murdering another one of her friends so that her “friend” could escape the ship with her. Trixie had nearly deceived everyone, including herself, by framing another of her friends for the crime. Even though Trixie had still been punished with the amputation of one of her legs, Sunset had shown zero remorse for her. This was in spite of how far they had come as friends, because Sunset stuck to her morals above all else, and wished to rid her relationship of individuals with a less than desirable attitude. 

It was a nice development to Sunset’s characterisation when faced with such a situation. The fact that she did not show any shred of care after what Trixie had done despite the antagonist’s manipulation proved how resolute she was. Her motivation to save everyone on the ship was paramount, even if her “friend” had decided to go against this notion to save herself. This showed how selfless Sunset was. 

Interlude 3

We return to Princess Twilight, who has assembled a team to plan and capture this Monoponi, including Starswirl. Unfortunately, when the antagonist had revealed that he had killed her human Twilight, and that Trixie was “responsible” for it, Princess Twilight simply flipped out. Thanks to the strength of the friendship between the two Twilights, the story had managed to portray how dismayed and powerless Princess Twilight was in stopping the antagonist from slaughtering someone she knew dearly. 

The inability for Princess Twilight to be able to hold someone physically accountable drove her incogent mind to attack Trixie in Equestria, simply because she was blinded by the need to do so; to feel better. The irrationality behind Princess Twilight’s decision was accurate; even when one considers her maturity, the predicament she was in would have easily enabled her irrational, pathos-driven mind to take charge. 

Human Twilight was also executed by the “Elements of Harmony”, conjured by the antagonist’s magic, which only sought to rub salt into the wound. The contrast of harmony and discordance in either of their worlds, and their perceptions drove the message of irony. This drove her to a point of desperation, where she guessed that the antagonist was King Sombra. You might laugh and joke over the illogical conclusion, but Twilight’s mind had been clouded by fear and desperation. 

This interlude exposed the other side of Princess Twilight’s character. Although she was not directly involved in the events on the cruise ship, the stake she had with the participants was enough to push her to the level of stress beyond what she was capable of handling herself. It showed her limits, and that she was fortunate that she had friends to drag her back away from the wrong path. This chapter has done an excellent job in this regard. 

This review will continue in the next post. 

Chapter 4

Part I: Trixie

Having betrayed virtually everyone onboard the ship, Trixie had been voted into being locked into her own cabin. But first, the story showed how firm Sunset was in her judgement to throw out the relationship she had with Trixie, which was consistent and corroborative in nature with the post-trial events. Yet, when she and Adagio saw Trixie in the corridor, this occurred.

A dark part of me, the old bullying Sunset, urged me to kick Trixie’s crutches out from under her. Let her collapse to the floor, and laugh at her misery. I didn’t do that, though. If I did, I’d be no better than Monoponi. Or Trixie herself.

So I held out an arm, subtly keeping Adagio back in case she had no such restraint.

While I appreciated the author’s decision to put Sunset in a moral quandary, I felt that Sunset’s urge to get back at Trixie would not have been that readily restrained. Her prevailing thoughts and emotions towards Trixie after she had calmed down via her sleep still had encapsulated a strong sense of hatred. The emphasis on the apparent insincerity of Trixie’s apology that burned in her mind highlighted this point. 

After factoring in her cuddling session with Adagio, I still found it difficult that she would manage to control her senses that easily. I believe that this would allow her to forget the experience for a time, but it would not necessarily enable her to get over it. Perhaps a more interesting take would be to think about how she could potentially sympathise with Trixie, or to better develop the “I have to be better than them” aspect. A greater amount of deliberation at that juncture would be nice. This would better justify Sunset’s explanation to Adagio afterward as to why they should not be cruel, just to satisfy their appetite for retribution. Nonetheless, this interaction helped to show how far their relationship had gone, and Sunset’s maturity. 

Unfortunately, the rest of the survivors had different ideas on what to do with Trixie. During their morning meeting, they had decided to imprison Trixie in her own room in spite of Sunset and Rarity voting down the resolution. I felt that most of the passengers’ choices were apt. For instance, Rainbow had been used by Trixie in the previous trial, so she would have no sympathy for her. Though, Rarity’s choice to vote against this was strange to me. Notice — 

“As if that would be any great loss,” Rarity sniffed, stabbing her eggs with reckless abandon. “To think I called her friend.”

Readers can glean that Rarity had been hurt by Trixie’s decision to betray them, but she was not necessarily angry, perhaps extremely disappointed. Coupled with Rarity’s relative closeness with Trixie, and her generosity, the story had attempted to justify Rarity’s choice. However, I wished that there would be some nuance to show how conflicted Rarity had been. Perhaps a greater development of showing how hesitant Rarity, beyond how she raised her hand after a moment would help. Conveying the speed in which she did, and even her discomfort when she exercised her unpopular vote could be done. 

However, the conflict in Sunset’s mind was elegantly developed when she was locking Trixie into her own room. The fact that she had to build the lock to imprison Trixie and that she had to oversee the process of locking her former friend into her room helped to accentuate the contrasting thoughts and emotions. Within her, she was empathic, to see why Trixie had gone to this for the benefit of them both; that she had ultimately good intentions. However, that also meant that Trixie had intended for the death of the rest of her other friends, including Adagio. She could also empathise why these individuals had felt such hatred against Trixie. 

And all these thoughts were under the common umbrella of Sunset’s morals, that she had to be at least better than the antagonist. I was convinced that Sunset really wanted to forgive Trixie because, as a “friend”, she wanted to trust her and their past relationship. Pinning all these to the antagonist would be a logical way for Sunset to break away from this chain of thought, and try to relieve herself. When she was vocalising these thoughts to Rarity, readers could tell how emotionally-charged Sunset’s dialogue was. 

Hoping to pick up the pieces, Sunset had a talk with Trixie in her room, where she realised that Trixie had been starving herself. It was later revealed that she was doing so to punish herself for what she had done. Aptly drawing from her empathic side, and from what she had seen, it thus became possible for their relationship to be somewhat reconciled. Sunset understood that Trixie was aware of her mistakes, and was willing to make amends for it. 

Trixie’s motive was also explored. She explained how, in spite of the friendships she had had with everyone, her fear drove her to attempt this rescue attempt to escape and bring her only friend Sunset with her. 

Now, it would be easy to say that Trixie’s “fear” was unfounded, which meant that her motivation to escape was weak. This was because it was easy to forget why Trixie had felt insecure in the first place; she had only one genuine friend on the ship — Sunset. With Twilight constantly babbling about how anyone could have an incentive to kill at any time, the innate fear of the unknown quickly turned Trixie into thinking of how to quit this game with the best possible outcome. The antagonist’s carrot to escape with a “plus one” sealed the deal in Trixie’s mind. 

Though, I was somewhat surprised that Trixie had managed to read Monoponi and understood that the voting game show was “rigged” from the start. I found that difficult to believe, and it seemed almost too convenient of an explanation for Trixie to take advantage of in this position. Had they managed to catch onto the antagonist’s trickery, he could have simply switched his rules back just so that he could execute Twilight if they started to discuss. 

There were other aspects of her explanation that seemed faulty. Most incriminatingly, she noted how she had intended to rearrange the clues for them to catch Rainbow so that she would be caught. In the trial, Rainbow was nearly convicted, until Sunset miraculously remembered to double back and cross check with all of her available evidence. Certainly, it seemed that Trixie was clutching at straws to justify herself and renew her friendship with Sunset again, at any cost. This was the reason why she was desperate to tie everything up to make herself appear as a victim of the times, and her regrettable past actions. 

These were why I struggled to believe how Sunset could wholly buy Trixie’s side of the story, beyond how she had looked at Trixie for a lie, and did not see any. Although Sunset might not have forgiven Trixie, I questioned how Sunset’s analytical mind could not see through it. Of course, one could argue that Sunset desperately wanted to believe Trixie’s words, for it would match up with what she had previously known about Trixie. However, earlier, we had alluded to the fact that this part of her was logically-driven. Hence, this could partly explain this discrepancy. 

Part II: Magical Dreams

Next, I would like to talk about Sunset’s dream, and how it nicely ties into the bigger mystery of the entire adventure. At the end of the second chapter of this story, recall that Sunset had been dreaming of her former life in Equestria, and how Princess Twilight had ascended into alicornhood with the help of her friends and the Elements of Harmony. I felt that the introduction of the concept of dreaming about Equestria was interesting, due to several reasons. 

I found the placement of this development appropriate. In the second trial, Sweetie had intended to murder Sunset, because she felt that she was from Equestria, and therefore had to be linked to the antagonist. That was when Sunset had been exposed to be from Equestria, which ultimately made her mind to question what did it mean to be Equestrian, to be alien from this human world? 

As dreams are the extension of the individual’s chain of thought, I liked how the author had woven Sunset’s memory of life in Equestria, and managed to contextualise the dream. Although Sunset might not have known about Princess Twilight’s ascension, she had managed to dream of it. Did that imply that she could piece together how the ascension could occur, and that there was some residual memory lingering in her mind that could not be wiped out by the antagonist? 

In summation, they foreshadow the concept of magic, the link between Equestria and the human world, and consequently, the antagonist’s objective — the “bigger” picture. Presently, we were solving the murder mysteries that were resultant from his objective, which was a mystery in itself. The integration of these subtle hints and clues was well done. 

Earlier in the chapter, Rainbow had a pulsating white light emanating from her, before he had drained it away from her, again building the magical framework. Debatably, this also revealed the source of his magical power. Together with the picture of the two Twilights that they had found during their exploration of the new facilities in this chapter, these helped to offer small crumbs; a taste of what was the antagonist’s objective. And these would keep the readers’ interest in the story not only for the longer term, but for additional clues in the shorter term. 

Part III: Finding Secrets

Continuing on, during a meeting with Applejack, Adagio and Sunset, the antagonist had casually slipped in and implied that Adagio was from Equestria as well. (This fact and that she was a siren in Equestria was kept as a secret between Adagio and Sunset since the start.) When Adagio revealed her massive secret, and threatened to “do something if Applejack exposed her”, Applejack backed down in fear. I was somewhat disappointed with this arc, firstly — 

The farmer summoned up her nerves, and eyed Adagio just like she’d eyed me a couple moments before. Then her eyes widened like saucers. “You’re tellin’ the truth. You really ain’t human.”

As Applejack had displayed such propensity to act as the group’s polygraph machine, I was dismayed that the group did not use her abilities to sniff out who was the culprit at the end of each trial. In multiple instances, Applejack had managed to accurately deduce who had been lying; she would have been instrumental in the trials, and would be a big target for anyone. 

My gripe would be that Applejack’s ability was only seemingly triggered when the plot struggled to proceed at certain junctures, and therefore needed her to bridge between the plot points. I wished that Applejack had limits to her capability based on how she was able to determine who was lying. That would have been a more insightful explanation to why her ability was untapped during the trial. This was even more concerning when Applejack had used her ability during a trial for something that was not directly linked to the trial at hand earlier. 

Another point I would like to bring up would be that how the author had focused much on how Applejack was able to tell that Adagio was not lying, rather than how Applejack had become fearful of Adagio’s threat to murder her. It could be argued that, being the only Earthling in the group at the time would mean that she was “outnumbered”, and that she would be fearful of her own safety. 

However, I felt that there was an insufficient amount of development that helped to convince readers how Applejack was fearful of a siren, that was beyond the concept of Greek mythology and their role as predators. Applejack’s facial expressions and reactions were inadequately conveyed, which meant that her dialogue stood on shaky foundations. This mismatch therefore led to the rushed pacing of this scene.  

Part IV: Distrust and Mistrust

Finally, the central conflict between Rarity and Applejack. In the previous trial, a picture of Rarity and Applejack was found. The duo were sitting together, having matching rings, implying that they were married to each other. This picture was initially kept as a secret before the trial had forced Sunset to surface this to all. 

However, due to disagreements over how Trixie, or Diamond Tiara could be treated, they were disgusted to acknowledge this fact. On paper, the photograph seemed to be irrelevant to their hatred of each other. In actuality, this sought to highlight the animosity between the two, and the differences in opinions they had. 

These arguments over how they should or shouldn’t forgive Diamond or Trixie for their wrongdoing also helped to elevate their characterisation. Applejack’s insistence on her opinions about the two showed her stubbornness. Moreover, her strong disapproval of other individuals being dishonest was also clearly shown by how she had treated Trixie, because of her betrayal. As for Rarity, her generosity enabled her to provide them with the benefit of the doubt, which allowed her to be more open and therefore empathetic of their plight. 

Both Rarity and Applejack were strongly opinionated, and believed that their way was the only right way. This contrast enabled the author to allow each character to breathe naturally and portray themselves in their own way with respect to a given circumstance. 

During the argument, Applejack had struck Diamond’s nerve, prompting her to attack Applejack. 

Here, I would like to comment that the fight was well-portrayed to be a complete mess. And no, don’t be mistaken; it’s a good thing! I felt that the chaotic nature of the fight was suitable to the context, as no one expected a fight to occur at the instance. Due to Applejack calling her a “bitch”, Diamond had acted on her own instincts to punch Applejack, and thus only she knew that a fight might occur as a result of her actions. Therefore, this actually strengthened the authenticity of the fight sequence. 

Anyways, let’s take a more in-depth look into one of the paragraphs of the fight scene.

Applejack held a hand up to her bleeding, broken nose, spat out a glob of blood, then leapt to her feet and charged at Rarity. Adagio, Rainbow and I leapt into action at this point, grabbing for Applejack together while Scootaloo and Flash tried to restrain Rarity, who fortunately cooperated without much of a fuss. Applejack, however, elbowed me in the gut, sending me reeling to the ground, filling my vision with stars. As I fell, I heard Adagio hiss like a madwoman, and Applejack scream in pain. I couldn’t process anything else as I fell unconscious for a moment or two.

The fight was intended to be fast-paced. However, reading the paragraph makes the fight feel draggy. This could be attributed to the longer sentences employed, with numerous clauses. This would cause the reader to slow their reading down to comprehend the new information given in each clause, and how they would link with each other. I posit that the author could have chosen to portray the “combatants” with shorter, sharper sentences. This would have been able to show how unexpected and sudden the encounter was, and the rapidness of everything. 

The fight was short, which meant that the author had to be wary of the balancing between the development of the fight itself, and that of the first-person perspective of Sunset. Unfortunately, the latter took the back seat in this scene. I felt that the author could have introduced more of what Sunset had done on instinct, her emotions and her thoughts. Of course, these must be condensed into smaller sentences or clauses that could be strung into the sequence for the fight to progress naturally and speedily. 

Ultimately, I would argue that the focus of the fight was not on the fight itself; its focus was the impact the fight had on the remaining survivors. This could be attributed to its short length, and the greater emphasis on their reactions after the tussle. It was well-balanced, thereby shining new insights into Applejack’s attitude and the attitudes of the rest concerning Applejack. In fact, the impression this left was not lost on everyone. Even when Applejack had realised the errors of her ways, the others, Sunset notwithstanding, were hesitant to interact with her after what she had done. 

This was why Applejack had apologised to Sunset first, but there was bigger fish to fry — Sunset’s hope to mend the relationship between Applejack and Rarity. Initially, I was puzzled by this, but on closer inspection, this was a brilliant move on Sunset’s part. Although Sunset did not have a direct stake in the relationship between the duo, the fallout between them was spilling over to the rest of the survivors. To preserve collective trust and to prevent further murders, Sunset had sought to use Rarity’s “desire” to reconcile their relationship as a form of “pretext”, enabling her to discuss her behaviour towards the others, notably Diamond Tiara. 

In spite of all her efforts, someone was still tempted by the antagonist’s motivation to kill; this time a political favour of any kind imaginable. Rainbow Dash died. 

Part V: The Case

If you have managed to get this far down into the review, you might have noticed that I have not gone into substantial detail about any eye-catching observations in the previous four parts before Rainbow was pronounced dead. I hope to explore these aspects in the following sections. Anyways, I implore you to have a go at investigating yourself. With some thinking, the information provided prior to Chapter 4 Part 7 would be sufficient. 

In this case, Rainbow had simply bled out. The evidence had shown that her femoral and popliteal arteries were severed, and that this would result in a quick death. Obviously, her legs arteries were severed because the ice skates that were found in her go-kart, which surprisingly belonged to her. Typically, the blades of a pair of ice skates would not be sharp enough to do so, but someone had sharpened it with a whetstone in the bathroom.  

As for Flash Sentry, there was much evidence from before and during the investigation that had shown that he was ill. The receipts printed revealed that Flash had purchased medicine, including antibiotics, to cure himself of whatever ailment was affecting him. As the author had continued to drop hints showing Flash experiencing fatigue and general discomfort, it was clear that he was not recovering, in spite of taking antibiotics. This implied that he was suffering from a viral infection. If I had to guess, he had most likely died from this. How? I’m not a doctor!  

Now recall that Rainbow had bought a cocktail of drugs that, when taken together, could cause seizures. The only reason why she had purchased these specific drugs was to perhaps give it to Flash as a sign of their friendship. Would Flash murder Rainbow, because he thought she was out to kill him? My gut says yes, but I struggle to understand how Flash knew about the detrimental effects of taking the drugs together. Wouldn’t the consumption of these drugs cause a seizure that could cause him to become incapacitated should he try? 

Part VI: Medical Technicalities

Anyways, of all the investigations and mysteries in this story, I was most disappointed with the execution of this one. Firstly, let us discuss the accessibility of this case to the casual reader. As knowledge of various drugs, their effects and illnesses was required in the context of this case, many readers would be unable to solve this without any help from the prose. Therefore, the author had to compensate for this by providing many clues and facts. This was done by allowing Sunset to scan through “Disease and Drug Handbooks” sourced from the ship’s library. As a result, these pieces of evidence were more of a fact than something Sunset learnt from the investigation per se. 

Unfortunately, I felt that the inclusion of these technical terminologies, while necessary, weakened immersion into the mystery itself. The amount of explanation required to explain each technical aspect was evident, and this distracted the readers’ attention away from the mystery, as they instead sought to understand these terms first. 

But notwithstanding the number and the length of each documented fact, the inclusion of these specific medical facts would mean that they, in conjunction, would help the reader solve the mystery before the trial. This unintentionally gave readers hints into what the mystery could possibly involve, which did not make this mystery necessarily captivating. To alleviate this, the author had attempted to introduce a few red herrings, but they added confusion to the case, as readers had to grasp a large constellation of medical terms. As they were referenced to constantly throughout the trial, comprehension of this basket of terms was crucial in understanding the events. 

More concerning yet would be how Sunset had managed to fish out a few possible illnesses from a “Disease Handbook” through her observations of his corpse, and his symptoms over the past few days. Being unqualified, I doubt Sunset would be aware of where to look and be able to translate this information and narrow her search down to four potential diseases Flash might have suffered from. I understood that the author could not have possibly included every disease under the sun, but I fail to understand how she could have done so. 

If the antagonist had intended for them to solve the mystery, he could have given more clues in his autopsy report. However, this might arguably make the case too easy to solve; perhaps he could state that Flash suffered from internal haemorrhage, rather than a ruptured spleen, for instance. However, as I am now aware of the antagonist’s final objective, it might not be in his favour to end this game too quickly. 

In addition, it was even more alarming that she was accurate in fishing out the illness responsible. Most of the symptoms that Flash had could be linked to many diseases, and mononucleosis would be one of the last illnesses to be considered, especially for a healthy teenager. Mononucleosis is oftentimes a mild and banal disease that would not result in the death of an immunocompetent individual. 

Of course, detractors would argue that Flash did not die directly from mononucleosis, but from his ruptured spleen. The spleen was prone to rupturing when Flash was racing on the go-kart track because mononucleosis had softened it. However, the softening of the spleen only occurs in a late stage of the disease, and it is virtually impossible for the immunocompetent to transit to this stage. Flash could be immunocompromised, but there was little evidence or foreshadowing to support this. 

It was therefore perplexing that Sunset would have considered it to be a possibility along with three other diseases, especially if the medical text would have stated its severity to younger individuals. It seemed convenient that she would have accurately diagnosed something that most medical practitioners would struggle to pin down from a physical examination, with no prior knowledge or guide. 

Part VII: The Trial 

As expected, the trial quickly exposed how Rainbow Dash had died. Like the rest of the trials discussed earlier, the constant attempts by different survivors to connect the dots showed how clueless they all were. In this trial, there were many red herrings that were ultimately not crucial to the understanding of how, and why, Rainbow Dash or Flash had died, leading to many “endless arguments”. Frankly, distilling these down into their components was a challenge, because the author had done a commendable job integrating and intertwining these into the prose. Pulling in their own past grievances on the ship into the equation made their conversation ever more authentic. 

Sunset, who was traditionally playing the de facto chief investigator, had perhaps grown overconfident, and almost seemingly began pointing fingers and accusing individuals, which, on numerous occasions, were wrong. This was logical, since she had trusted herself to deduce the previous cases accurately, and she had the support of the group. It was no doubt gratifying to see Sunset being rather fallible in these trying circumstances. 

I especially liked how the author had foreshadowed this by altering the way Sunset’s own approach in solving these cases. Initially, she was more cautious of offending individuals, because of her background (being from Equestria). As a result, she had to gain the trust of the rest of her crewmates before suspicions fell on her. Now, she had clearly gained many of these individuals’ trust, enabling her to be more bold in her accusations.  

Being a mediator in conflicts between Applejack and Rarity, or Trixie and Adagio, she had been able to do so convincingly, in addition to saving them from execution in solving the last three trials accurately. Hence, while some readers might admit that Sunset was forgiven too easily at this stage by her erroneous accusations like in previous chapters, the trust invested in her by the other characters enabled them to give her the benefit of the doubt. Like them, she was imperfect, and they knew that she would not be maliciously going against them, as she had been their support. 

Hence, Trixie’s involvement in the trial was noteworthy. She had managed to correct Sunset on multiple occasions. One could question how Trixie was able to have the self-confidence to be able to stand up against her (former) friend, but Sunset’s reaching out certainly had an impact. Nonetheless, some could feel that it was insufficiently foreshadowed; Trixie simply jumped out and objected to Sunset’s own deductions. Did Trixie have the ability to be able to go against Sunset, the individual who had helped her get out of the pit of self-pity?

On the other hand, this was also an opportune moment to gain the trust and respect of the other survivors, to make up for her past mistakes. In a similar vein, Sunset had also bolstered Trixie’s confidence in the trial by standing up for her, which placed her own credibility under intense scrutiny by the other survivors. Therefore, even if it was “insufficiently foreshadowed” per se, Trixie had the motivation and a reason for why she would do such a thing. The presence of her friend, Sunset as a support for her must have helped in this regard. 

Next, observant readers would note that there is a contradiction in the witnesses’ testimonies — Scootaloo was apparently in the games corner, but Adagio had seen her in the promenade. The introduction of this contradiction was great; the classic case of “whataboutism” was so beautifully woven in this case. When Sunset had to bring up Rainbow’s lighter as a piece of evidence in the trial against Scootaloo’s wishes, and Scootaloo complained about “trust issues”, Sunset threw this evidence in her face. That was brilliant. 

Sunset’s desperation to solve this case was clear when she had attempted to extrapolate a potential motive for Scootaloo to murder anyone, even if her proposed reason for doing so could almost be described as ludicrous. But, again, this was warranted. 

Less warranted would be why Scootaloo and Applejack would have wanted to lie in the first place. Scootaloo had been playing this killing game for a few rounds now, and she must know that being alone would invite greater suspicion on her. Even Applejack’s agreement to support Scootaloo’s lie by lying herself to corroborate her testimony was strange. This minor deviation from the central arc at hand almost appeared to be an unconvincing attempt to try and drag Scootaloo into the list of potential suspects into killing Rainbow. Admittedly, in a killing game, one could be pushed into making many irrational decisions… 

Sunset’s attempt to verify Scootaloo’s innocence by checking her spinning Ultimate Ability unfortunately failed, thanks to the antagonist’s mentioning that Scootaloo’s profile would not have changed should she have murdered someone. Normally, I would be rather incensed by the disparity between convenience of the profile changing in the second trial, and the actual truth we finally obtain in the fourth trial, but the antagonist had a primary motive for this. 

He intended for the gradual culling of the participants of this killing game to instigate Princess Twilight from Equestria to save her human counterparts. As Equestrian magic was at play in the human realm, it was an extension of her responsibilities to act in her nation’s interest, not to mention the friends she had. If the antagonist had reverted the change of Sweetie’s or Apple Bloom’s profile in the second trial, there was insufficient evidence for Sunset to be able to accurately deduce much to successfully incriminate her. 

But, it was not in his interest to kill everyone immediately; he needed to drop hints to ensure that the majority of the participants would survive by voting the right individual out. He might have shown that he did not care for their lives, but he wanted to extract the greatest satisfaction possible from the deaths of the survivors. Plus, he had a grand scheme to lure Princess Twilight for some unknown reason. Revenge? 

In this circumstance, he did not need to drop any additional hints for the survivors to accurately determine who murdered the two. Thus, he had made this announcement to show that this is not an accurate litmus test of Scootaloo’s innocence. Frankly, as plot convenient as this might be, the author had managed to cover this expertly; it aligned with the interests of the antagonist, and he had the capability to alter his own rules to suit his agenda. 

Anyways, after much debate, the team had managed to deduce that Flash likely died from mononucleosis. The next problem would be how Rainbow died, when inquiring the antagonist about Rainbow’s refillable lighter, he simply teleported out to check whether the stores sold it, leaving the survivors an opportunity to jump ship. 

At this juncture, I’m conflicted. I couldn’t blame the antagonist for leaving the survivors there, because there was no way that they could physically escape from a cruise ship in the middle of the ocean. He had surveillance cameras throughout the entire ship. 

Yet, I couldn’t help but acknowledge that the protagonists knew that he would not tolerate rule-breakers; they must have remembered his execution of Fluttershy for breaking his rules. Though, I couldn’t blame the protagonists for hoping to escape because they must have had enough of Monoponi’s killing game. The only reason why the survivors had the courage to escape in spite of the punishment of death would be their collective strength as a group. 

From this perspective, the antagonist would be powerless to do anything, because culling them would not be in his interests, while the protagonists had a “chance” to escape. As expected, he couldn’t punish them, but they were left with a stern warning. Iffy, but I guess it works… 

After solving Flash’s murder, fingers were pointed everywhere in a bid to solve Rainbow’s murder. Unfortunately, one finger sparked cataclysm between Adagio and Tiara, by reigniting their past grievances. And at the heat of the moment, Adagio had slipped that she was not human, prompting Applejack to jump out and reveal her secret. And Sunset knew of Adagio’s secret from the start! 

The author has done an excellent job portraying how the entire network of relationships came crashing down from Adagio’s mouth slip. Ultimately, it highlighted the struggle of who to trust in the killing game, and it was exemplified through the drama between the characters, even when they were trying to solve a murder case, because anyone could be responsible. 

On the other hand, I felt that Adagio had been sidelined to a corner during the trial, after she had broken down into babbling. The story’s development appeared to shift towards the actual solving of the trial, rather than Adagio’s reaction, or Sunset’s concern for Adagio. 

While the author had done some development in the latter aspect of things, I felt that it was worth going further — to show how guilty Sunset was, her longer-term concerns for her own safety, and her thoughts of Adagio potentially seeking some form of retribution or revenge. A better balance could be struck between the two. 

As for Adagio, she must have felt conflicted on what to do with her lover. Her cover has been completely blown, and she must have felt betrayed by Sunset. How would she perceive her relationship with Sunset? Sunset’s connection with Trixie in spite of all she had done? This soul-searching was evident at the end of the trial, when she wanted to push Sunset away from her. 

This review will continue in the next post. 

Chapter 5

Fortunately for me, this chapter is developed more linearly compared to the rest. This is not necessarily a bad thing at all. Understandably, due to the dwindling number of survivors on the ship, there can only exist so many side arcs that Sunset would not notice explicitly, unlike the previous chapters. In actuality, I found the balance between Sunset’s intrinsic emotions and her extrinsic experiences was exceptionally well-struck — the more linear nature, in this regard, helped tremendously since there are less disruptions to the main flow of the story with side arcs. 

Part I: Monoponi’s Revenge

Avid readers would remember that Sunset had started to solve the antagonist’s final plan and motivation. In the previous trial, she had vocally stood up to him by saying how this scheme was “all planned, and staged”, as she realised that they were not as expendable as they thought. This presented a threat to him; with Sunset constantly outsmarting him and getting on his nerves, he had to do something to kick her out of the equation. 

Here, I found his engineered plan most captivating. As expected, he opened up more sections of the ship for them to explore, which included a space exhibition, a church and a music room. Although the space exhibition and church only provided more room for “creativity” to inspire a “rescue attempt”, the music room reminded Adagio of what she had lost. 

When Adagio and Sunset were exploring the new sections together after some intense soul-searching for the reconciliation of their relationship, they found the music room. Then, there was a strange urge for Adagio to sing while playing with her guitar, to be true to her identity as a siren once again. Initially, Sunset had intended to join her in playing her song, but when she grabbed another guitar, she strangely played a song that disrupted Adagio’s melody. Adagio, realising what she was doing, seized the guitar from Sunset, and forcefully stopped her from playing the song. 

Adagio knew that her magic was stolen, but she did not know who had done it. Realising that Sunset was capable of disrupting her magical melodies with her own thanks to her guitar, Adagio’s mind quickly concluded that there was a grim possibility that her lover was the individual who had stolen everything that made her whole. 

As the final icing on the cake, the antagonist had left a photo album of the events that transpired during the “Battle of the Bands” and Sunset’s same guitar in the music room for the group to discover. This only cemented the belief that Sunset was responsible for Adagio’s suffering of being an unidentifiable being without magic. 

I applaud the fact that the author had managed to show how Sunset was the bane of Adagio’s existence, which was absolutely believable from Adagio’s perspective. Some detractors might argue that, being a fairly mature individual, Adagio would not be able to be that easily swayed by pictures in the album, for they could be edited with the ultimate aim of them turning against each other.

However, Adagio had personally witnessed how Sunset was able to “counter” her music with her own, with Sunset’s own guitar, pictured in the album. In conjunction with the anxiety experienced after numerous murders and trials, Adagio’s mind was not in the right state to think reasonably. If nothing else, the plot had consistently emphasised on how much magic had meant to Adagio, and she would do anything to get her magic back. Monoponi’s scheme was brilliantly formulated. 

The author’s consideration to split the discovery of the photo album and the anti-magic display into two separate chapters helped to showcase Adagio’s internal conflict, even if for a short period of time. Without pictorial evidence, Adagio could still give some benefit in the fact that she could be wrong about Sunset, even if Sunset had shown that she had the capability to nullify her magic. Indeed, she wanted to be wrong about Sunset in this aspect, because she had built a romantic relationship with her throughout the voyage after many challenges that they had faced together. 

The rate at which matters were advancing during this critical junction accentuated the struggle she had, before she tried desperately to correct what she had done. However, Sunset’s paralysing fear prevented her, and consequently, us the reader, from comprehending Adagio’s actions. This drew suspense into determining what Adagio would be up to, coming into the end of the first part. 

It also gave time for these emotions to be piled up in Adagio’s soul, before they were unleashed when the photo album confirmed her suspicions on Sunset. Thinking that Sunset had been using her this entire time while knowing that she was responsible for destroying everything that made Adagio different, Adagio had the perfect motivation to kill Sunset, even if she might die in the process. 

As a cherry on the top, the tussle that Adagio and Sunset had after their fateful discovery had convinced everyone to arm themselves with weaponry as a form of “self-defence”, which led them down the slippery slope of not trusting anyone in the group. I believe the antagonist was most pleased with how his plan had turned out. 

Part II: Rarity and Trixie

With the degradation of the relationship between Adagio and Sunset, the author has decided to bring Rarity closer to Sunset as early as in the first part of this chapter. Emphasising on the tragic loss of her sister, and her fractured relationship with Applejack, it was expected that Rarity wished to have another individual that she could depend on to get through these trying times. Even though it might seem convenient, her early relationship with Sunset back to the prologue of the story made it easy to swallow this — they were the first to meet onboard this ship, and Sunset had often benefited from her generous spirit. 

My concern was, however, the potential that Rarity might be looking for something more than a simple someone to lean on. This was reinforced when one could notice how Rarity jumped, at the earliest opportunity, to “defend” Sunset against Adagio. Sunset certainly got the message. I do not necessarily buy this sudden shift in how Rarity just fell for Sunset; the former might have admired Sunset for her wit and deductive capabilities, but to the extent of crushing on her? I can somewhat understand why though, even if I may not be completely convinced. There was not enough interaction developed recently to highlight this as a possibility from my perspective. 

A cursory discussion of Trixie should also be warranted. Sunset had not forgiven Trixie explicitly, though she was empathetic enough to give her another chance. She had still trusted her in spite of what she had done, shown in the first scene of the first part of this chapter, where Trixie was allowed to stay with Sunset for comfort for the night. Interestingly, Trixie was not mentioned in the chapter until the investigation began, and thus readers would not be aware of what she was doing. 

Part III: Adagio’s Deal 

To rebuild their trust, Adagio offered to meet Sunset privately, but more specifically, alone. I found this maneuver to be rather clever on Adagio’s part — it gave her every excuse to get back on Sunset. If Sunset agreed to go alone, and genuinely honoured that arrangement, Sunset would be vulnerable to anything she might do, including killing her. If Sunset “agreed” to go alone, and brought a friend in secret, say Rarity, Adagio could prove that Sunset did not trust her any more — giving her an excuse to sever their relationship and go for the kill in time. If Sunset did not agree, then this is an even more blatant way of signalling her distrust. 

There was no event that Sunset would be able to reconcile her relationship with Adagio without ensuring her own safety. This reflected Adagio’s scheming mind accurately, and displayed the character she had within. 

Sunset only had one choice — the second one. She had to hope that Rarity would not be spotted when she was “dealing” with Adagio. I wonder how that would go. 

The location Adagio chose — the swimming pool — brought memories of what had transpired to Pinkie Pie to Sunset. I liked that the author had managed to bring this onto the table of emotions that Sunset had; it made the experience not only more unnerving, but harrowing. It reminded not just her, but the readers that this could potentially be a bad idea. If Pinkie died here, someone could die here again.

The conversation Sunset had with Adagio was great at driving not only Sunset’s innocence, but also her empathy. The conversation also conveyed how little Adagio had trusted Sunset. A characteristic moment for me would be when Sunset exposed the fact that she was a unicorn under Princess Celestia’ tutorage, hoping to show that she knew what it was like to live without magic. Regrettably, it only fuelled the fire within Adagio — she now knew how “corrupted” she had allowed herself to have been, how she “took away” her identity as a siren. 

I enjoyed this constant spat, not because of their constant hollering, but because they both have reasons as to why they felt this way from their own perspectives. Even if well-intentioned, Sunset’s misguided attempt also made matters worse, due to the differing viewpoints they had. 

Murphy’s Law dictates that everything that could go wrong, will go wrong. In this circumstance, I enjoyed how Sunset’s plan to ensure her own safety with Rarity had failed so badly, and so naturally. When Rarity had misjudged the situation, she snapped to Sunset’s defence, destroying any potential hope of reconciliation and trust between Sunset and Adagio. Rarity’s panic and fear of losing Sunset to Adagio was understandable, and she might have jumped at the heat of the moment. 

The author’s portrayal of Rarity’s guilt was great, but Sunset’s internal conflict was excellent. It accentuates what the two had felt since the start, from their secret alliance, to their more “formalised” relationship, to now. There was still a part of her that still longed for Adagio, shown when she was deliberating whether she could still seek to salvage their friendship, even though Adagio had already given up on her. Her fluid, incessant thoughts helped to construct the uncertainty and even concern of her mental landscape. Ultimately, her own empathetic thoughts still prevailed.  

Unfortunately, Adagio had other ideas, such as killing Sunset. As the story is told from Sunset’s perspective, readers are able to see and feel the noose tightening around her neck when Adagio came; she had forgotten that she had given Adagio a set of keys to enter her room. It would be myopic to dismiss this as plot convenience; when one considers the trauma and anxiety that Sunset had in this separation, it is fairly likely that Sunset would have forgotten about a minor matter that had occurred days ago. 

The morphing of Adagio’s personality can also be justified. Her relationship with Sunset was the only thing that was pacifying her innate “evil” nature of being a siren to be “good”. Sunset’s perceived betrayal had made her feel that she was used; hence, there was no surprise that she could revert back to her former nature, to get revenge on Sunset. This is notwithstanding the anxiety Adagio must have experienced herself onboard the cruise ship. 

Adagio’s plan was also worthy of praise. She had the perfect method to kill Sunset, and the ideal scapegoat. Even Sunset’s quick reflexes to escape failed her. Adagio’s wit after learning from the best was put to good use. There was no mercy, or remorse that matched Adagio’s desire of revenge laced with pain beautifully. 

Sunset was trapped, locked and destined for death. 

But did she really die? 

Part IV: Perspectives and Retrospectives

The story now shifts to the first-person perspective of Trixie. This presents an opportunity for me to discuss the narrative voice of the characters from their perspectives when the story is regaled. Notice that, before, Sunset’s analytical and logical state of mind was able to be captured in the way the story had been told. This uniformity was only broken in some scenes, when Sunset had suffered mental breakdowns herself, owing to the nature of the game she was forced to play. 

On the other hand, the author had attempted to alter her writing style such that it would fit Trixie’s characterisation, especially with the initial reference of the “Great and Powerful Trixie”. There were also elements of informality that were exclusive to her prose, compared to Sunset’s — the manner in which they conveyed the same information were unique in how they had packaged it in their own axiological constellation of meaning.  

An example would be how she had managed to wave off her past mistake of murdering someone right off the bat as something seemingly insignificant. On paper, it would be odd that Trixie would have had such a mentality; her interactions with Sunset in the previous chapters had shown how far this was from the truth. In fact, I felt that the author had managed to exploit this opportunity to show how Trixie, even in this universe, wanted to present an image to portray herself as an ideal individual. That was her intention, and it seeped into the prose itself. 

Perhaps a bigger point of debate would be the swiftness that Trixie had been introduced with a short excerpt of her story on the ship. I wondered if this was sufficient to enable the reader to empathise with Trixie, to understand matters from her viewpoint for the fundamental shift in perspectives. The cursory development into how she felt, although sometimes sugar-coated, might not be sufficient to bring the reader to adapt to this change. However, Trixie’s voice certainly helped in this acclimatisation. 

Of course, to Trixie, Sunset was missing for the last twenty-four hours. 

Oh, and for some reason, Adagio’s body was found dead. 

It’s now down to Trixie to solve the case. Fine; even if the rest did not trust her, they had no choice. Moreover, she had proven herself to be competent in deducing and analysing in the previous trial. 

Part V: Reducing and Deducing

Again, I highly advise attempting to solve this before reading any further. This is not an easy one, but do try to guess who the culprit is with the clues provided before Chapter 5, Part 6. 

Reminding ourselves that Sunset has been missing for the past day, and was presumably dead, it may be safe to presume that any motive involving the murder of Adagio would be related to the aforementioned fact. Now, it would be prudent to reduce the problem into two aspects — Sunset’s disappearance and Adagio’s murder. Being interlinked, we can designate the evidence as necessary. Fortunately, as we were able to picture how Sunset was “abducted”, some facts could be easily pigeon-holed. 

It would appear that everyone could have a motive in killing Adagio for her act of “killing” Sunset. Extrapolating a little, it might be reasonable to note that the culprit who murdered Adagio was aware of Sunset’s imminent demise, or had some information on her location. If it were the latter, I would not be surprised that the antagonist would do something to make the trial for Sunset (if she had died) more interesting by forcing the would-be culprit to expose nothing. Building on this, I wouldn’t be surprised if the antagonist had intended for this would-be culprit to murder for the survival of Sunset. 

So, the problem has been broken down into “Who was the individual who was able to physically observe Adagio’s kidnapping of Sunset?” Recall that the antagonist had most likely forced that individual from exposing anything; since Applejack had claimed that she had discovered Sunset’s disappearance, with some confidence, one could say that she cannot be the culprit. 

The obfuscating evidence shows how Adagio was murdered, but that reveals little information. However, some readers might be tunnel-visioned to think that Trixie could not be the killer, because we are now on her side. This is because we were used to Sunset’s perspective, so we were able to see what she was doing, and clearly she did not murder anyone. 

In reality, Trixie herself is a probable suspect. Note that we do not know what happened when Trixie had finished her conversation with Sunset, which was the scene before Sunset was murdered. We were looking at things from Sunset’s perspective, and not Trixie then. The lack of information available in Trixie’s own whereabouts during the trial itself because she was “assumed to know it” from the readers’ perspective must be acknowledged. 

This would also explain a notable observation. When checking the archive door, and realising that it was locked, Trixie had continued her investigation by jerking the door until she was able to uncover Sunset’s Monopad on the underside of the door. Without any prior knowledge of its existence, it would be hard to believe that Trixie was able to fish this piece of evidence out by mere coincidence, or luck. 

If Trixie had been spying on Adagio and Sunset running towards the library archive, and then listened in on Adagio’s monologuing over her triumph over Sunset there, Trixie would then be aware of the situation, and hence the concealed Monopad. 

One could also observe how different Sunset and Trixie had shown their strive to discover the truth and bring the perpetrator to justice. In the previous trials, the emphasis was on justice, and on avenging the death of the murdered. Here, Trixie’s motivation to solve this case was not related to the culprit explicitly, but to save Sunset. This difference has given us a huge hint. For the sake of completeness, Trixie’s drive to save Sunset shows how plausible it was for her to have struck a deal with Monoponi.

Part VI: Twists and Turns

As the other characters did not have access to the information and the context of the case like we do, I posit that they would have a difficult time breaking this case down. The culprit had clearly attempted to throw as many red herrings as possible to distract them, but also us. It provided more opportunities of having characters bicker between each other. Definitely a plus from me, for the reasons described earlier. 

What sets this trial apart from the rest, however, would be the numerous twists that were nicely woven into the tale. First would be Sunset’s apparent death. Being absent, Sunset’s seat was instead rigged to a flashing crystal, which luminescence was connected to Sunset’s life. Its quiescence then caused everyone in the trial, including myself to think that she was genuinely dead. However, she was able to free herself from Adagio’s elaborate set-up and attend the trial, thanks to Trixie messaging her on her Monopad. 

This twist was not just convincing, but it was probable that it would have happened not out of sheer coincidence. Trixie’s reaction to the fading of the crystal’s light, along with everyone else, sealed the deal for me. The antagonist’s joy was also a key factor, because of how much he had wanted Sunset to die, after exposing so much of his scheme to the group. 

Their attempt at mutiny, which was to give up on the trial entirely, also further cemented my belief. Some might protest and say that there was no apparent need to mutiny, but Trixie had been fighting for Sunset. Everyone else had also believed in Sunset and trusted her with their lives. They felt that they were hopeless or even directionless without Sunset’s deductive skills. There was hence no hope for them to proceed. 

Additionally, they felt that they had some leverage over the antagonist — recall that they were given a second chance after they had attempted to escape. They might have thought that they had some level of leverage over the situation, should they all cooperate in going against their overlord. 

Why was the reversal of their decision to mutiny fair, then? Monoponi undertook a strategy of brinkmanship against them; he showed how willing he was in killing them, even if they might disrupt his plans. The survivors, being pressed into the corner, had no choice but to agree to continue playing along with him, while they still had the chance of survival of this ordeal. Clearly, some chance of survival, even if infinitesimally small, was better than immediate, guaranteed death. 

But I digress. It turned out that the crystal was tied to a device attached to Sunset, which she broke when she was trying to free herself from the library archives. That was brilliant — I genuinely fell for this, and the explanation was also possible, thus satisfying. 

The second twist would be that Trixie admitted that she was the culprit. I was initially disappointed that the case could not be solved by the others breaking the clues down slowly and methodically, but the sheer quantity of evidence might not have made this a savoury choice for the trial. However, I could convince myself to buy into the narrative — Trixie had been fearful. 

Trixie must have been fearful that if she was caught, she would suffer an excruciating death from the hooves of Monoponi. Before, if Sunset was dead, she would have done her utmost to prevent herself from being uncovered, so that she could avoid that, at least for a time. Her desire to sacrifice herself for Sunset would have been in vain, in that case. 

Even if Sunset was found to be alive, she was still aware of the ramifications of her actions. She had a close shave once, and with her first-hand experience, she knew how painful the punishment could be. It was implied when she gathered what bravado she had left within her to admit the truth — by reminding herself that she was Great and Powerful. 

Now we return to Sunset’s perspective, to observe Trixie’s gruesome execution. The emotional scarring from the deaths of her two closest (probably) friends on the ship was exemplified in her internal self-monologuing and reflections. When she started to question the concept of what a “friend” even meant, or how “true” or perhaps authentic a friend was, you could feel how badly she felt her world was breaking apart around her, even though she might be strong on the outside. 

This review will continue in the next post. 

Chapter 6 — General Thoughts

If you thought that I was going to spoil the entire story, I’m afraid that that’s not the case. Notice how I have not discussed the previous interludes? Well, they are going to spoil the ending, and you are not getting the ending from this review.

A cursory treatment to avoid spoilers should suffice. The final chapter focuses on the biggest mystery — who was the antagonist? Why was he doing this? Could he finally get his revenge? The final investigation seeks to answer these queries. This time, the puzzle should be fairly elementary to solve — there were more than enough hints provided to crack it. 

The final investigation led to the final confrontation between the antagonist and the protagonists, which was superbly done. The emotion drawn into the scene through dialogue, the rapid pace that the dialogue-driven prose adopted and the sheer amount of character development presented were stunning. We could see how far the characters have been pushed and grown to who they were at the final chapter. 

It showed how much turmoil that they have endured, which was perhaps barely short of trauma. This moulded them, in spite of their characteristic differences to agree in resonance with each other, to the path of good. The satisfaction reaped from observing their friendship blossom despite days and weeks of distrust and debate was simply delightful. This was especially the case when they had united as one, and had been bound by friendship. 

The antagonist was no pushover. He had engineered this entire scheme with months of planning, driven by a hatred that could not be understated. He planned for every conceivable scenario he could have thought of, but his flawed perceptions and twisted mindset prevented him from revealing himself to the light that came from the darkness. Now that I realise this, it was interesting how this correlates to the character Monokuma in Danganronpa. 

His lust for revenge could not be described in words. Constantly, throughout this story, we have seen how this was subtly woven into the prose, although it was most prominent at the end over here. 

The clash between the two parties was undoubtedly entertaining. Although the combat was driven by the simple concept of magical blasts, the author had managed to spin upon it with an air of authenticity, with relation to how magic works in the Equestria Girls canon. Here, the concept of how friendship and rainbow lasers were described as “deus ex machinas” by the antagonist was absolutely hilarious. 

The antagonist’s apparent victory gave him much opportunity to gloat and monologue. Typically, I would have been pleased with this — surely, I would argue, the antagonist could have ended the entire thing there and then. There was no need to give them a chance to defeat him. However, the antagonist had intended to destroy their concept of morality and friendship. He had intended to see the reason why he became this way, to assign blame to another individual to sow distrust amongst them. In any case, he unequivocally had the upper hoof throughout the first act, and had virtually complete control over the situation. 

I also appreciated the author’s take on diplomacy between Equestria and the human world. It gave weight to the encounter; it showed that this entire fiasco had traceable ramifications on the global stage, and ensured accountability. This, on a wider picture tied in the author’s headcanon on the relation between the human world and Equestria.

What a journey this had been...

Stance

In conclusion, the author has done a superb job with managing a large number of characters. The antagonist was well-crafted — their motivation to seek revenge on Princess Twilight could undeniably explain why they had gone through all this way to do so. They were not infallible, but they were smart to engineer this scheme, and seemed to be one step ahead at every juncture. The protagonists were also exceptionally well done; struggle between emotions, friendship and death was tied beautifully into the prose. The anxiety attached in playing this cruel game with the antagonist was well-conveyed. Of course, this is notwithstanding the initial development of characters in the prologue.

By and large, the mysteries were done well. Subtle, though sufficient, hints were dropped prior to the investigation, enabling reader participation and satisfaction. The reader would experience a roller coaster of emotions and suspense when stepping into trial with the participants. With the exception of a few instances, such as in the fourth mystery, they were nicely constructed. 

The trials accompanying the mysteries were no less transfixing. The constant arguing, fighting and hollering from all sides of the table made the trial vibrant. The potential twists, red herrings and more had cast doubt on my own thought processes. They were convincing. 

Perhaps one of the weaker bits of the story would be the pacing. Apparently, in Danganronpa, there are many awkward shifts in emotions, personalities and more. While the author had intended to lean on this to some extent, it would be hard for readers who are unaware of Danganronpa to be able to appreciate this. Although the story might be accessible to them, they might not be able to interpret it as intended. Maybe Sunset could have foreshadowed it by describing how the game had events similar to this to the other participants, as she knew that the antagonist was simply ripping the game off. A better gauge of when to push boundaries of realism could also be employed. 

The climatic ending was exceptional. 

Technical errors were rare throughout the entire piece, and most of them were punctuational. They did not severely distract the reader from enjoying the story. 

So, what are you waiting for? If you couldn’t tell, I enjoyed this story, and I would recommend it for all to read. But of course, the warning tags of gore and violence are there for a reason. 

Also, before I end this, allow me to say this: Dewdrops, be proud of your work. It’s a beauty. 

Content/Plot: 8.3/10
Flow/Communication: 6.3/10
Language/Readability: 8/10
Overall: 7.5/10
Verdict: Highly Recommended

<For archive purposes: 7.5/10>

Happy first year anniversary everyone!

Verdict: Highly Recommended

im so proud of you aunt

I wanted to wait till I'd read the entire review before I commented, and I just want to say how flattered I am that you went into such detail everywhere. I'm not sure what to address and what not to, so rather than take a very long time to go over things point by point, allow me to say that I think your analysis is quite spot on in many cases. While there are a few times here I think you misinterpreted my intent, that's perfectly fair, as I'm a big believer in Death of the Author--I can tell the readers what I intended all I want, but it's up to them to decide what they get out of what I wrote.

In particular you are absolutely correct in pointing out the flaws of Chapter 4's mystery. There were aspects of that which were fantastic core concepts, but as I explained briefly on Discord, I made a mistake of allowing a suggestion from my husband (which was, frankly, hilarious in concept) influence me a bit too much. He'd been helpful for several other parts of the story--I can't thank him enough for being a good sounding board for various mysteries. So as such I went with his suggestion, and that resulted in a medical mystery that wasn't the most ideal.

I'd like to point out and be honest with everyone reading this review as well as with the reviewer that this story had a major rewrite halfway through. As in, all of my plans completely fell apart and I had to reassemble them on the fly with three parts written to Chapter Three. I had different murders, different victims and different culprits all intended. Now, I also did my best to take advantage of my mistakes by presenting them as the mastermind's original plan and using it to help show some of what the mastermind did to mess up, but that was very much me making lemonade showers out of the sheer quantity of lemons the story handed me.

In a lot of ways this story was a learning experience too. As much as I've had writing experience before, I'd never completed a project on this scale. I wrote it with minimal to no prereading save for near the end, and, I will be honest, without much editing either. It shows in certain parts, especially the prologue, which continues to feel like an eyesore to me and is likely responsible for the majority of the dislikes.

Regardless, I thank you very much Stinium. You've given me very high praise, and I appreciate it. And I will honor your words. I am proud of my work.