ELingmare IV: The Quest for Fans

• MLP: FiM
• Comedy
• Random

Trixie Lulamoon wakes up as a changeling and learns her power has grown and wants to prove it. Can she beat the ultimate new opponent, Queen Chrysalis? An invitation, an audience, and havoc ensues as the two battle it out for title of Best Show Off.

• Trixie
• Chrysalis

QueenChrysalisForever · 4.3k words  ·  13  0 · 625 views

Summary:
At one day, Trixie wakes up and has become a changeling. What else would she do than challenge Queen Chrysalis to a duel who is the better shapeshifter, right?

Seriously, who else than the great and powerful Trixie and her attitude would fit for that premise? Anyway, the story starts with Trixie, after realising she has the changeling abilities now, to try out how powerful she now is and what she actually can do. After that, she writes a letter to Queen Chrysalis to challenge her to a duel of being the best shapeshifter. Of course, this duel will be on stage!

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Let’s start with the idea. Trixie turns into a changeling and ,driven by her character, has nothing better to do than challenge the most powerful changeling she knows? I like it! It fits as well the random as the comedy tag perfectly. It is kind of absurd, while at the same time fascinating, and by picking Trixie, it mostly fits her personality too. Except for her normally a bit more fearful behaviour around changelings.

By taking a look at how the writing of this story is executed however, some strengths as well as first little weaknesses show up. On the good side is how well everyone stays in character and also the word jokes work out. Comedy and silly randomness also is well included, more so when the duel begins and the weird shape shifting starts. However, what could need improvement is the pacing of this story. It takes a little too much time for the build up at the start till we really get to the main events. And a second thing is the main phrasing and wording of the ongoing descriptions and dialogs. They are okay, but could at several spots contribute more to the atmosphere and general entertainment while reading.

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Rating:
Comedy: 7.0/10 I did grin or giggle here and there, not the big laughter though.
Randomness: 8/10 Silly ideas for the shapeshifting and an overall crazy story idea in a good way.
Entertainment factor: 6.5 The curiosity how these events will develop drives one forward despite the slow pacing at the start and in the second half the events itselves entertain.

21,5/30 = 
7,17/10