TMy Diamonds Leave With You

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Drama
• Slice of Life

When her divorce finalizes, Rarity finds comfort in a familiar friend. Shortly thereafter, she makes the biggest mistake of her life.

• Rainbow Dash
• Applejack
• Rarity

Gay For Gadot · 7.1k words  ·  140  10 · 3k views

Summary

In the wake of a life-changing event, Rarity makes a mistake that she believes will cost her the love and respect of her closest friends. She comes to find out that some bonds are not so easily broken. In the storm of accusations, anger, and revelations that follows, Rarity finds a path forward towards a hopeful future.

Though this summary was relatively spoiler free, I will be going into some spoilers in my actual review, so you are warned!

First Impressions

Wow. Just wow.

So let’s get started. This was one of the finest stories I’ve ever read. At its core, the power of this story lies in relationships. There is the crumbling relationship of Fancy Pants and Rarity, already in ruins as the story opens. We also have the friendship between AJ and Rarity, tested in Rarity’s moment of weakness, and possibly broken. We also have the ghost of a relationship that could have been, but never was, because of Rarity’s choices.

Then we have the relationship between AJ and RD, strong enough to weather a battering. Last of all we have the friendship between RD and Rarity, threatened by Rarity’s actions.

The crafting of these relationships is masterful. Each one is given time and detail, lovingly and subtly built by an author that clearly knows their job. Even Rarity’s marriage, the relationship that gets the least amount of attention, is given the care it needs. The author is never explicit about what broke up Fancy and Rarity’s marriage, but I don’t find myself missing the lack at all. Instead, we’re told just enough to infer what has happened. Indeed, we don’t need to know what broke them up, because we are shown the emotional impact the breakup has on Rarity, and that’s all that matters.

Next, let’s talk about the friendships. Everything that happens feels completely real, completely true to the characters involved, and wholly emotionally honest. Rarity is a mess, sitting in the broken shards left behind after her divorce. I don’t believe she really wants AJ, she simply acts based on impulse and the memory of long-buried feelings. She’s impulsive, not pausing to consider consequences in the heat of the moment.

This, of course, leads us to the core conflict of the story. The author does something brilliant here, because the story is told slightly out of order. We practically open with the accusation from RD: “You kissed my wife,” before flashing back to the events that created this situation. It’s a brilliant use of foreshadowing (we know Rarity is going to kiss Applejack, and we know it’s going to be a disaster). It also allows the author to begin their story in medias res, which automatically catches the reader’s attention. Because the story is out of order, there’s tension and conflict from the very beginning.

Once Rainbow shows up, we’re immediately introduced to a nuanced and mature approach to her character. I’m often annoyed when authors turn members of the Mane 6 into caricatures, simple architypes lacking depth or complexity. The Rainbow in this story lived up to my highest hopes, showing traits true to her character (brashness, impulsiveness, a hot temper) while still being complex and nuanced. Her loyalty really shines here, because Rainbow has to struggle to find it on the other side of her fury and feelings of betrayal. This is a Rainbow who is conflicted but strong, and she is glorious for it.

AJ similarly is handled quite well. We see less of her than Rainbow, and hear about some of her actions secondhand (from Rainbow). She is also nuanced, clearly struggling with guilt and shame despite the entire situation being none of her fault. The fact that she immediately told Rainbow what happened is true to character, but it’s not just that; it was clearly difficult to do.

I hope you’ll let me indulge a little here. My personal opinion is that the Mane Six are strongest as characters when they are at their weakest, and when those weaknesses and struggles closely align with their elements. The best AJ stories put her in a situation that challenges her drive to be honest. The best Rainbow Dash stories force her to question her loyalty. This story does that amazingly well. In the end, both of these characters come through, but only after fighting for it. The payoff, therefore, is so powerful.

Now let’s talk about the payoff. The climax. I’m going to say ‘wow’ again, here. Rainbow Dash’s solution to the conflict is elegant and sweet, while avoiding being saccharine. Dealing with loss and heartbreak is messy and takes time. The resolution is equally messy. While we end with Rarity on the right path, we also end with the acknowledgement that things won’t be perfect, but they can get better. We realize that there is no perfect solution, no silver bullet, no quick fix to Rarity’s heartbreak. The entire thing is handled with such raw, emotional honesty that I found myself stunned when reading it.

Ratings by Category

Characters: 10/10 Absolute perfection. I have nothing to add here. Allow me to give some examples of the utterly amazing work done here.

As handsome and sophisticated as ever, he ran a forehoof through his coiffure before a little chuckle rumbled through his chest. “It’s the end of an era, isn’t it?” His mustache shook with the weight of his words. They ripped through her, each syllable a knife.

Of course he was so blasé about it. This was his third divorce.

This is textbook ‘show not tell’. In these few short sentences, we learn just how deeply the divorce is impacting Rarity, and just how casually Fancy is taking the whole situation. He’s almost flippant with his words, and it drives the knife in just a little deeper. The visual bit about his moustache is just icing on the cupcake.

“Look, if you don’t start talking in the next five seconds, I’m walking out the door.” Rainbow Dash set her mug down harder than necessary. “For good.” From the look in her eyes, she was dead serious.

Once again we see showing not telling. Amazing. This is such a good moment, because we are not only shown just how angry RD is, but also just how desperately she’s trying to make things work out well for everypony.

There are an hundred other examples I could use of just how well the characterization was done, but please. Just go read this amazing story!

Setting: 10/10 The setting perfectly suits the action. There’s not much to say here, but I do want to note one thing that particularly impressed me.

Throughout the action, the author uses the setting to avoid a ‘talking heads’ situation. The characters are never just talking, they are always doing something.

On top of that, I love the way that ‘boxes’ become a metaphor for the instability in Rarity’s life.

Rarity savored the peace between them, and within her, for just one second longer. Then, she asked, “Do you think you two could come by sometime soon… and help with the boxes?”

This is Rarity, with newfound strength to face the changes in her life, asking her friends to come be a stabilizing force for her.

Dialogue: 9/10 The dialogue was true to the characters and well done in service of the story. It is nearly perfect.

However, if I have any nitpick whatsoever, it’s here.

Applejack raised a forehoof. “Ah know, Ah know, Ah shouldn’t have,” she said, stealing Rarity’s words from her lips. “But Ah figured you deserved some treats.”

This may be a personal issue, but I’ve always believed that it is incorrect to spell out Applejack’s dialect phonetically. Visually, it appears distracting and a bit unnatural. Since readers should be familiar with Applejack’s voice, it’s also unnecessary.

Plot Structure: 9/10 In terms of pacing, this story was nearly perfect. It begins by throwing the reader immediately into the center of the conflict, then flashes back to fill in the relevant details. Tension is maintained, despite the innocent beginnings of Rarity and AJ’s conversation, because the reader knows what is coming. When we move back to Rarity and RD’s conversation, the tension mounts believably. As a reader, the author captured my attention and did not let go until the end.

The only minor issue here may also be just my own perception, but after the conversation between Rarity and RD resolves, the ending of the story takes a while to actually end, which slows the pacing down a bit. Ultimately, the conversation between all three of them may be a bit long, but I don’t think the story really suffers for it.

Grammar: 10/10 I found no grammatical issues at all.

Total: 9.6/10

Final Thoughts/Feedback

Honestly? This story may be beyond my skills as a reviewer to critique. The author is amazingly talented. The story is emotionally raw and honest. This story is truly incredible, and well worth the read.

But, since feedback is part of my job, I’m supposed to offer some form of advice to the author. So here it is: Keep writing, because you have a true gift!

Best Part: How do I pick? The messy imperfect resolution that acknowledges there’s no quick fix for heartbreak. Fancy’s casual flippancy. Rainbow Dash’s conflict between feelings of loyalty and betrayal. Really, all of it.

7360521
A good review, maybe a bit too praisingly but still presents a good Overview of the story.

7360527
Hey, I called it like I saw it. Maybe a more skilled eye will catch more things to critique, but for me it was next to perfect.

7360527
Personally, I don't see any issue with the review Boss.

7360538
Well, it just feels a bit overly excited from appels part. The story has a 6,5:1 up down ratio which indicates there could be a few flaws. Haven't read the story though, but it seems likely there is something for the feedback part.

As I said though, still a good review.

7360521
We should also take into account that this story was part of the same contest I wrote for, so having a fully fleshed-out story given those limits is worth praising.

7360521

...Wow. Just wow. I don't think I have the words to accurately convey how nice this was to come home to.

Thank you so much for the detailed review and feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, of course, but the level of detail of this review is exactly what I was looking for. Good or bad, for better or worse. I wasn't sure if/when I would get a review here at all, so this was a more than pleasant surprise. Again, thank you so much.

7360548
Well, in my opinion, fimfiction rating should never be used as an indication of anything about a story. Particularly for this story, I would say a lot of downvotes came from people who are against the (allegedly canon) Apple Dash shipping, or are against cheating relationship and couldn't manage to get pass the first section of the story.

Had personally read it and written a short review of it myself, I'd say it deserves all the praises (and more) in the review. There are a few things that can be picked on that the review hasn't, but they're pretty minor.

You should check the story out yourself. I believe if you are not against any particular shipping or topic in the story, you'll come to agree with our assessments.

7381145
Well, the ratings are a general tendency guide for the quality of a story. Not at the start of a story when haters and possible people who dislike the author or stuff like that show up, but after the first 20 or so you get an idea of the stories quality. A vergue one of course, still a direction.
Still I agree that the rating shall ot affect the fairness of the review at all. In this case it was just that I saw the rating and found an overall all positive review more or less. Like I said I am fine with the review in general, I just had the suspicion that there is stuff in this story that should be pointed out or has room for improvement that the reviewer should show the author.