ERainbows have nothing to hide

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Slice of Life

Twilight watches the sun set. A music box plays in the background, but she ignores it.

• Twilight
• Rainbow Dash

Silent Whisper · 1.2k words  ·  113  6 · 2.6k views

By Silent Whisper

Summary:
How does Twilight feel, as she watches the rainbow hued pegasus outside her window, a silhouette against the sky as she dances with the dew on a twilit night. Does it really matter?

First Thoughts:
This was an interesting piece, very poetic and full of sweet repose, as Twilight listens to the tune from her music box and watches a never-named but still known pegasus as she passes by her window one late twilit evening. The writing is sublime and really the best word to describe it is just beautiful. Silent really knows how to set a scene well, pull every detail from of it and pour it out on the page.

Did I like it?:
Yes! Sorry it took way to long to get to this, but yes I did. It had a very poetic feel to it, different from what I usually read but not in a bad way. It's prose was beautiful and I kind of felt like I was reading a free-form poem. Kind of made me feel nostalgic for care-free days, so hard to find right now, where one could just sit back with a warm cup of hot coco beside their window and watch the world for a time.

What I didn't like:
I found little I didn't like on it, even though I care little for poetry, that is more so for the traditional rhyming kind that always seems to have a million hidden messages. (Or so the 'experts' say.) This though, was very open poetry, and it didn't fall into the dull category for me. So the only thing I didn't like is I would have to be not long enough. I would love to have seen if Twilight took action to her thoughts in another chapter.

Now for the meat of our review!

The spelling and grammar in this piece is wonderfully done, I caught little to no errors. The language is this short is simply beautiful, and flows extremely well. I'm not a big fan of poetry, but even though this sounds quite poetic this type works for me.

The heart of the story is all about Twilight listening to her music box as she watches out her window, wondering about her true feelings for Rainbow Dash as said pegasus flies around on a beautiful Hearth's Warming night. The weave and flow of the story as Twilight plays with the foggy drops on her window from her hot breath as she watches and wonders just send a sort of chill through the audience. A little kind of pain, but a good pain, of what could be if the story was to continue.

Characterization was done well. Though we don't hear anything from Rainbow, I can totally see her being the night owl type to take walks in the late evening and as the sun sets and the stars appear to give a traditional Rainbow flair into the air as she flies away. I can totally see this Twidash ship from Twilight's point of view (and not just because it is one of my favorite main six ships). Twilight would totally be this way, just watching out her window as Rainbow passes, even if Rainbow doesn't know it, and almost hide behind a foggy window. So yeah, I think this was quite well done as well.

The story/concept is very simple, which with only a little over 1k words is a must, but it works. I know I am guilty of people watching out my own window at times and wondering what they are thinking as they go along, and can totally see Twilight doing the same thing. The fact she is watching one of her own dear friends even more so.

My final words and thoughts:
Though this story was very short and simple, it is still worth a read. The prose of the story is quiet poetic and beautiful, and it leaves you almost happy, but with a pinch of sadness as you wonder what could be from Twilight's troubled thoughts. It leaves quite a romantic feeling with how it all is worded, almost a modern day Shakespearean classic kind of feel, perhaps? It left me hungering for a little more, to see what would happen.

Score:
Heart: 9/10
Spelling/Grammar: 10/10
Characters: 9/10
Story/Concept: 8/10 - as I would like to know what happens next.
Overall: 9/10

In conclusion:
I liked this short, it was very poetic, beautiful prose, and leaves you wondering, with a pinch of sadness and a little happiness for what could happen.
P.S I should also include here, as wasn't sure where else to add it, I liked the play with the short's title and chapter title with The Muppets song 'The Rainbow Connection." It fit well with the theme of the story and reminded me of a song I haven't heard in ages!

To the Silent Whisper:
You have some beautiful work here, and as usual I do like your writing style. Keep up the good work and I hope you write more beautiful prose like this! (Or even a sequel, if you wish.)

To the Reader:
This is a fun, quick read. If you like well written freeform poetry kind of stories, this just might fit your ilk.

Good news! This one has both a sequel here, and a version written from rainbow's POV here!

Thank you for the kind review! Your words touched my heart (and I don't mind the wait! I respect that these take time and energy, and it's worth it)

7307178
That is good news! I shall have to go check both out!
You're welcome ^.^ I'm glad to hear so. :D (Oh for sure! But am happy to help you out. ^.^ )