I read: Completed as of this review at 4,410 words, 5 chapters
I rate: 7/10
I recommend: Read if you want to see a good take on an alicorn OC and her adventures

Now, I admit I struggled a little to write this review. That’s namely because I didn’t really know what to write here. The story, at least from what I have seen, is genuinely quite unique.

For starters, our OC protagonist, Stella, is an alicorn. And, unlike the overwhelming majority of stories on this site, she’s not an insufferable git. In fact, the child is quite cute and endearing and a fairly shy and nervous child, albeit a particularly precocious one, understandable given Luna being her mother.

The story follows her adventures into preschool where, under the supervision of Celestia and Luna, she makes friends and meets interesting people and has a good time. Until tragedy, invariably, strikes and two of her new friends are landed in hospital because of a food allergy.

The writing itself I have no complaints with. It flows well and the italicized thoughts of various characters give helpful insight into the plot and overall opinions of its players. As well, the dialogue sounds mostly appropriate for the given situation and, again, realistic enough to do the job. Descriptions generally work, although sometimes they can be somewhat excessive or fumbled - like the description of the pizza.

However, I do have some criticisms. Firstly, nothing much happens for the first three or so chapters. Yes, it is necessary to read them because they set the later plot and build Stella’s world. However, it gets a bit boring; at least, it did for me; to see a three-year old blunder through preschool. I did that myself - until I actually have kids of my own, I don’t really have much desire to see that and I think that slice of life either needs to be tagged in the story’s description or slimmed down significantly for what is supposed to be an adventure story.

My next complaint would be a more minor one. Stella doesn’t sound like she’s three. Yes, she tends to act like it but she knows stuff that I doubt any child of that age would know, like what poison is. Furthermore, her internal monologue sounds more like that of a tween, ten or eleven, than it does of a child who only learned to speak two years ago. Honestly, until I saw “preschool” I thought she was about eight and I wonder if making her that age would actually make any difference to the story’s overall arc.

Plot: 3/5. Lags in the introduction.
Characters: 3/5. Adorable but not memorable.
Style: 4/5. Effective.
Execution: 3/5. Hampered by slice of life.
Overall Rating: 13/20 = 7/10

To Princess Estrella: Keep it up. The story works fairly well and I’m sure that quite a few people will enjoy it. I would, however, advise that you look over Stella’s dialogue again because some of it really does sound like it comes from an older character. I’d also try and see if you can trim down the slice of life a bit so that we, as readers, can get to the more exciting tragedy and ensuing adventure sooner. My last criticism would be the story’s lack of cover art - from personal experience and especially with OCs, a good piece of art can really draw the reader’s eye to your story and, thus, get more attention. 

For something like this: 
Grave Implications
Aragon’s story also discusses the themes of death and tragedy, albeit with Twilight instead of an OC.

As always, if you enjoyed this review, feel free to check out more of my work here.