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Stella, a three year old princess, daughter of Princess Luna, was just beginning to enjoy spending time with her new friends at her new preschool when tragedy strikes. Feeling guilty about it, she runs away from home, intending to never come back.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Name of Story: Foalhood Friendship: Stella's Story
Score out of Ten: 7.25
Been a while since I've sat down to review... let's hope I can get all of mine done today. Anyway, on to the show!
So, Stella, huh... An alicorn OC that didn't instantly give me cancer. What a nice change! We're to explore with her the magic of meeting friends and going to school for the first time, with non other than Princess Luna as her mother. Is it cliche? Maybe... but cliches can work if properly executed.
Grammar and Spelling: 9/10: I was relatively pleased and only found a few minor flubs as I went through. Nothing too egregious, good job with the editing!
Theme: 7.5/10: As the story is still ongoing, I can't give a full idea of what the total overarching theme is, so I have to work with what I got. Friendship, learning, cheese pizza and cleaning your room, not a bad way to spend your days.
Prose and characterization: 6.5/10: The striking lack of 'said' tags was actually rather refreshing. Some of the descriptions and dialog were crisp and clear, which kind of caused a problem throughout. You place Stella's age at three, which is dangerous because it carries some preconceptions about how childish she should be. A lot of your internal thoughts and dialog come out as a child of a much older mind-state. I am perfectly fine reading that story, but maybe age her up a bit in that case, as well as the other foals.
Actual Story: Gonna leave this one out for now, since it's incomplete and I can't give a fair scale based on what is to be seen.
Nitpicks: Alicorn princess did not cause any sort of disruption when introduced to the class. Are they just that common now? Really? She thought the pizza was poisoned? There wasn't even any broccoli on it...
To summarize: This is a cute slice of life that could spend more time taking its time with each friendship and activity. Really get in there and explore likes and dislikes of all the characters, learning the quirks and creating some investment from the readers.
Reviewed.
Please put this in a few groups, this deserves more views!