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Millions of greasy people around the world have never had contact with showers.
Is it possible that we're low-key trying to reek?

7735887

"Take a sip, young Skywalker."

"What?"

"It is critical that you take a sip."

"He's right"

”And my friend Vendetta gave me this awesome rock!”

“I THREW it at you!”

Bay Area squirrels are splooting amid recent heat wave.

--Sweetie Belle

*As a ghost*
“Quick, I need your body?”

“-.-“

“No, I mean can I go inside your body?”

“-.-”

“God Dammit, you know what I mean! Stop making that face!”

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7737368

"MARVEL studios presents 'Nick Fury: Amogus'."

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7737459

OK, Santa's gotta go!!!

*destroys him with a meteorite*

7737645

"It smells like a garbage dump."

"I'm sorry I couldn't find a nicer place to crash land. Ah, should we try again?"

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The soup is cold, and the salad is hot. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?!?

7737756

Dirty dirt. It hurty hurts.

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"Three to the Dwarf Lawds, great Minecraftsmen of the mountain halls."

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7740710

Ah, so you must also possess great magic.

*cue Breaking Bad theme*
I assure you. It's not magic, it's just chemistry.

7740717

"How are these ships always bigger on the inside?"

"Ancient Grinner clown car tech."

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”None of them are worthy of the Master Emerald’s power.”

“What if a friend of yours came to run a few tests? See what else it can do?”

“Well, then I’m glad that friend can fly…because he’d be getting tossed right off the side of my island.”

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Mother, I assure you my eyesight is fine. I'm just stupid.

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"No spam box filter shall stop my glorious wisdom this time"

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”Why does he like her so much? She’s evil, destructive, and just a modified clone of me.”

“Love is a mystery and so is he. Plus, I like her Ass…”

“*glaring*”

“Spects. I like her Aspects.”

" 'Sides, that kid eat Papy's cooking on a regular basis, and asks for a second helping. There's no way a measly two story fall is gonna kill them."

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7744164

"We could use this metal detector, that I conveniently have on my person!"

--Sweetie Belle

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"The horsey's going to bite you now."

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7749627

Do you even remember your daughter exists at this point?

Hah! You kids and your modern-day slang. It's wonderful! A "Daw-toor"? That's a new one!

7752587

"Hunter, I don't think the world is ready for the bold fashion choices of the year 2008."

"Please change."

”So why are you making this fire?”

*hitting rocks together to make a spark*

“You ever see two people having a flashback or story in the dark cold forest at night without a fire? It’s for dramatic effect…and these.” He threw her a small pack of marshmallows for her to enjoy.

"The last time I saw you, you were half cat."

"A man’s allowed to experiment."

--Sweetie Belle

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7756125

"Is that?..."

"Yes... Should we try to stop him?"

"No need, he's the next ones problem now."

”Look, I almost died trying to get this BLT. I don’t care if I’m dead, alive, or something in between, I’m gonna eat this sandwich and NO ONE is going to stop me.”

7752587
7757488

7735887

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Stop blocking me! I gotta take a shit!

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7757840

...
...
I know these teeth.

7757855
7757840

"We're about to kickstart the war on drugs gentleladies and gentlemen, however, we're joining the side of the drugs."

7757969

Now THIS is a nice old random cabin in the middle of the woods with no service or cops for miles!

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7758069

"By the power of moonlight, I have risen, HOOT!"

”I just borrowed a can of Brightest Day for her. What’s the big deal?”

“One of those cans turns a narcoleptic into an insomniac for 2 days, so imagine what it’ll do to your hyperactive sister.”

“…Dammit, get your car keys. We have to find her.”

7759580

"Ooga-booga," the stormtrooper repeated. He turned to his companion and said, "ooga-booga."

"Ooga-booga," his companion agreed.

”Whoever’s behind this, show yourself! We’ll settle this in a fair fight!

And after I win, you’ll send me home!”

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7759879

"My friend, your devotion to rules is sometimes inspiring, and sometimes maddening."

Once more I have seen the count go out in his lizard fashion.

--Sweetie Belle

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Ooh! We can still work with this! Just say "Mmm Monke"!

Because...it was the right thing to do.

OH COME ON!!!!!

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"The mafia is real, I'm so excited!"

7762222

THAT'S MY MOM!!!

There goes the space-time continuum.

”Careful, Aquas. I know a lot of good dentists in town. They’d be happy to help if you…*threateningly cracks knuckles* needed a check up.”