A Missing Piece by Saberking2012
Dark Drama Equestria Girls Sad Tragedy
3,599 Words

Technical: 10/20 - The technical aspects — spelling, grammar, punctuation, consistency, tags.

First, tag cancer.  Dark, Sad, and Tragedy are mostly redundant; and Dark and Sad don't really belong together.  This is not a Tragedy, there is no ultimate failure, no characters being overcome by their own flaws, no unhappy ending.  Sad is the most appropriate, Dark being arguable at best.

Grammar is clumsy right from the first, tending toward short and choppy.  There are also quite a number of questionable constructions and word choices.  Spelling appears to be good for the most part, as is punctuation.

There are also spots where the dialog and descriptions are downright nonsensical in their clumsiness; and in some cases are outright bizarre (quotes in the Character section below).  Given the frequency and consistency of these strange constructions, I'm guessing that the author is not a native English speaker.  If that's the case, then they really could have used more competent editorial help.  As noted, there are editors/pre-readers credited, but they missed a lot of problems with this story.

Canon Characterization: 8/20 - Handling of canon main and secondary characters, and alternate character interpretations.

This is first-person from Scootaloo's perspective.  Being an EQG story, there is some leeway for secondary characters who haven't gotten much, if any, on-screen characterization.  But, where those characters have been well-defined in FiM, there should be at least some correspondence.  From the opening paragraph, Scootaloo sounds badly OOC — this is not a character who would use a line like "the flower of joy residing in my heart".  If anyone of the trio would use that line, it would be Sweetie Belle, but even that might be pushing it.

In fact, all the characters sound very odd.  Not just OOC, but speaking in very strange ways.  Rarity's line, "How about a little story for our minds?" is strange enough, but then it's followed by "Well, it looks like we're all stressed from our life problems. Why not tell stories by using our imagination?"  Not only does this not sound like Rarity, it doesn't even sound like any sort of normal person speaking.

As the story goes on, the characterization gets even worse, to the point of being outright nonsensical.  But then, nearly everything that happens in this story is nonsensical, more on that below.

World: 12/20 - Handling of show canon or alternate universe worldbuilding.

There is very little, if anything, that makes sense here with regard to either version of Equestria.  It doesn't even feel like the same world.  We don't see enough of it for it to really matter, however.

Story: 6/20 - Concept, coherence, internal consistency, story structure, pacing, flow.

The premise of this story is based on the usual Scoot-orphan trope, and is no better handled here than in any  other of several hundred cliched stories.  Scootaloo is having a middle-school-graduation party, with the CMCs and their big sisters (including Rainbow Dash), at Apple Bloom's house.  Out of nowhere, for no adequately explained reason, Rarity insists that someone tell a story, which everyone else insists that Scootaloo do.  The story gets interrupted by an incomprehensibly out-of-place event involving Apple Bloom, see below, and Scoots goes outside.

Some of the images are as bizarre as the dialog, for example, this passage from Scootaloo's story-within-a-story: “But before he knew it, the man’s knife nearly hit m- Smiles, but before it could pierce her like a wasp ready to sting its prey, the old man jumped in front of it".  Very, very odd, and the image doesn't really work.

The entire story lacks any kind of coherent setup or flow.  Things just sort of happen out of nowhere, no transitions, no buildup, and it goes increasingly off-the-rails as it progresses.  It's extremely disjointed and lacks anything like a reasonable coherency.  Almost nothing here makes sense.

In one of the strangest parts of the story, Apple Bloom shows up late (to her own party), because she was attacked by a mugger and stabbed, and spent time at the hospital getting her wound stitched up.  This is all portrayed with no more impact than, say, falling off her bike and spraining a wrist.  She gets a mild scolding, and then the incident is just forgotten entirely as Scoots goes off to talk to Rainbow Dash and complete the story.  Never mind concern for her friend who just got stabbed.

Scootaloo is followed outside by Rainbow Dash, and proceeds to finish the story, which is about her father being killed by a mugger.  (This version of Equestria is apparently full of muggers.)  There's a lot of glurge between RD and Scoots, all of which is terribly forced and unnatural, and fails to evoke any sort of real feeling.

The entire thing is intended to be a tearjerker, and fails miserably.  It's far too clumsy, cliched, and maudlin to work on any level; even aside from the bizarrely disjointed and disconnected way in which the story and characters are handled.

Total Score: 36/80 for a score of 45%

Conclusion - Final thoughts and recommendations.

Again, this has the feel of someone who is both an inexperienced writer, and not a native English speaker (if the author is a native English speaker, that just makes it all even weirder).  But that cannot explain everything that is wrong with the story.  It dwells far too long on insignificant details, and fails to properly set up the story or provide a coherent flow for any of the elements.  Highly traumatizing events are dealt with offhandedly in one case, and in the other there is a weird, almost detached quality to how it's portrayed, despite the ham-handed attempt to invoke sympathy and sadness.  It's also nowhere near long enough to develop the story to the extent it needs to be to make it work.  As it is, this story is almost unreadable.  This is the third story I've reviewed by this author, and all the problems from the previous stories are present here in much greater and more jarring forms.

It's always a good idea to find editors that are more competent with the language and craft than one's self, and are disinterested parties who can judge the story based on its own merits, and are not friends or followers trying to  preserve the author's ego.  That was either not the case here, or if they were, the author did not spend enough time listening to them.

Um... A)Not sure what you mean by tag cancer. Also by from the 3 editors I have(one who is a friend of mine IRL, the other two I know via Fimfic and judging from their actions, I can safely say they are native English. It should be noted English is my main language and to an extent, is an insult but I digress. It is also worth noting that they are more well known then I and thus, I believe they are competent writers. Better then me anyways. B)While I can't disagree whole heartily by odd, I doubt they are OCC. I could bring up the fact that EQG and the Pony version are different, but that would be unfair to use and someone else has already done that... C)I feel as this comes off a biased for a few reasons. Example A-

As the story goes on, the characterization gets even worse, to the point of being outright nonsensical.  But then, nearly everything that happens in this story is nonsensical, more on that below.

That seems more like option then fact since your the only individual that says this(Discounting my Siren story but that's in AU so...). Not to mention you lack any "proof" that supports this. I don't doubt it's different in some content but extremely OCC? I doubt that... Example B-

The premise of this story is based on the usual Scoot-orphan trope, and is no better handled here than in any  other of several hundred cliched stories. 

While I agree that is overdone and done to death, but to say it's not handled better then any off-the-wall several 100+ stories? I'm not going to say your wrong it terms of it being great but I don't it's horrible (no, I'm not basing this on like/dislike ratio. I base this off what people say.). Especially with certain users who *** characters beyond belief. I may not be perfect but that's a horrible way to review a story/s. That and you seem extremely one note with no effort to mask it. Lastly-

Again, this has the feel of someone who is both an inexperienced writer, and not a native English speaker (if the author is a native English speaker, that just makes it all even weirder).  But that cannot explain everything that is wrong with the story.  It dwells far too long on insignificant details, and fails to properly set up the story or provide a coherent flow for any of the elements.  Highly traumatizing events are dealt with offhandedly in one case, and in the other there is a weird, almost detached quality to how it's portrayed, despite the ham-handed attempt to invoke sympathy and sadness. author, and all the problems from the previous stories are present here in much greater and more jarring forms.

It's always a good idea to find editors that are more competent with the language and craft than one's self, and are disinterested parties who can judge the story based on its own merits, and are not friends or followers trying to  preserve the author's ego.  That was either not the case here, or if they were, the author did not spend enough time listening to them.

OK... Ignoring the fact you just outright insulted me(with no regard to the person at hand), you also insulted the editors(my friends) who take time out of their day to assist me. I take my time in everything I do and make sure to be very careful with what I write. With that being said, you seem to have no intent to be helpful and continue to belittle me. Even my other reviewers take their time to explain the pros/cons of the stories and without prejudice. I'm sorry to say but I cannot accept you as a reviewer with this type of attitude. Originally, I was unsure why there was a downvote on your comment/s but clearly, I can see why. You don't review things in a constructive way, you outright insult writers/editors and to make matters worse, make no attempt to try to show a positive on a story. I will take my review/s from this group as they have shown to be unbiased towards writers and treat them respect. Good day.

*Edit-I forgot to add this but just because the editors are my friends DOES NOT mean they are "Stroking my ego". That's like saying I shouldn't be asking for advice from people I know just because I know them. Let me ask you this- If I was known by everyone and they were all my friends, does that exclude them from helping me? I suggest you think about this before answering. I thank you for your time.

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 I will take my review/s from this group as they have shown to be unbiased towards writers and treat them respect.

That strongly depends on who reviews your story there, just in case you one day run into the wrong person there. Most of them are fine but there are one or two rotten apples among them.

Well, after reading the review and your response, I am curious why you submitted 3 stories to his review folder, if he dosn't treat you well?

I however agree with you that the review sounds not so polite, but I can't see the insult to your friends in it, he said it is either them or you who is to blame, so no final decision is made about this. Of course I admit english isn't my first language so I may misinterpret something.

6054994 Thank you for responding and originally the first 2 was because I have a 3 strike rule(and the reviews weren't as mean nor cruel so I said nothing but thank him). This review however changed that. This-

It's always a good idea to find editors that are more competent with the language and craft than one's self, and are disinterested parties who can judge the story based on its own merits, and are not friends or followers trying to  preserve the author's ego.

is what was referring to in terms of insulting my friends/editors. I understand your confusion but with that being said, I suppose I could give it to another reviewer. I'll admit I thought you were a reviewer at first but I don't see your name on the list. It's unfortunate really because you seem like a cool guy.

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Of course I am not a reviewer, I can't judge the gramma in the slightest. I just read the reviews here from time to time and yours got me curious.

I disagree with his statement about 'disinterested parties' but it seems more like an general advice than an insult. Well at least for me.

If I may suggest something, the reviewers here have all their pros and cons, (you know already I guess) but write the review in a positive upcheering way is not among the pros list. If you look for more upcheering reviews it maybe is the wrong place, the group seems to give blunt reviews to help you improve.
Anyway, the most neutral review you possible get from Silver, he is the guy who named his folder Silvers analyses. You surely should avoid Chud, he is the (in my opinion) most negative reviewer but that is not a bad thing! It can be very very usefull (had him as a prereader once) he will point anything out that could be a problem and that is usefull for improvement, still he can be a bit unpolite though.
I don't know about Enti0, but Spitflame had a possible good style of review as far as the few he already made promise, but thats up to you.

6055016 Noted. also, I've already had a review from Chud and while it's not perfect, he's a lot more fair in context. I'll give Silver&Spitfire a chance and see where that goes. Thanks.

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Your welcome

I saw you added one of your stories to the folder of Spitflame by the time I got to response, there could be a little problem though.

(As a rule, I'd appreciate it if stories reviewed by one reviewer shouldn't be re-reviewed, unless if there's some significant changes to it, and this should be PM'ed to one of the contributors anyway)

Is one of the group 'rules' here, as far as i could see, so you maybe need a fresh story of yours to try, the one you posted had a review by Batwing already.

Oh... Um, let me set something else up. To be fair though, it was biased beyond belief.

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Hi, you two! How are your respective days going? I hope this message finds the both of you not bothered in anyway, because there is a lot I want to say.

First of all, I do not know the critic. We have never been in contact with each other before and I recently joined this group because I wanted my own story reviewed on the outside. This response is completely unsolicited by anything else other than the abject curiosity as to why BatwingCandlewaxxe's review was so poorly received and the surprising egregiousness of the story I had to read in order to sate that curiosity. So in spite of the flak and potential backlash I might receive, I will speak out, because to do otherwise is to engender the passivity of a bystander mindset, something I've come to realize about myself and strive on to overcome. No promises, but I'll be as straight forward as best I can.

On to the thick of things.

Too many tags, and some of them are redundant to each other. EqG, drama and sad all that's needed. Tragedy tag not needed either, because while the dad's death is a tragedy, the story doesn't end in an actual tragedy itself. So other than the phrase 'tag cancer,', the critic is on point about everything, all the way through bizzare grammar and sentence construction, strange phrasing, the choppy flow of pacing, and basically everything else. Where spelling and punctuation are concerned, the English is good and there is a certain flourish to how it's all written...but those by themselves are no where near enough to hide the flaws. In fact the flaws overshadow and ruin them. I am not exaggerating when I say I actually physically cringed while reading the story. Even as I go over the story again with the new text-to-speech feature, I cringed again, though not as much since the actual reading is done for me. English is my 2nd language BTW, and that said, I was baffled to find out the author is a native English speaker.

Not only that, but here is the story's most glaring plot hole after having gone over it again.

I chuckled a bit before reflecting and thinking about him. How was he anyway? How long had it even been since we last saw each other? Did he miss me? Has he forgotten about me? And the more the thoughts formulated, the more depressed I became. This was supposed to be a day of joy. So then... why did I feel so sad?

You see the problem here? The snippet can imply she and the old man parted ways, and that he is well among the living...so, I hope its plain to see why I have beef with this all to begin with.

Also, this snippet is for reason's sake and logically speaking, the most jarring of all grammatical mishaps.

Applejack sighed, massaging her temples with her fingers, “Well, just please be more careful next time, alright? And don’t do it ever again, you hear me?”

The contradiction basically speaks for itself.

The entire thing is intended to be a tearjerker, and fails miserably. It's far too clumsy, cliched, and maudlin to work on any level; even aside from the bizarrely disjointed and disconnected way in which the story and characters are handled.

I couldn't have worded a better summary for my reading experience of the story. No doubt it has a powerful message from the heart for those with unfortunate childhoods, but the way it is conveyed is just plain convoluted and bad. If I were a critic in this group, I would have graded your story a 31/100 according to the group's review grading metric.

And so with all due sincerity, I mean it when say I side with the critic in conviction, no matter how outnumbered we may be.

So to you, BatwingCandlewaxxe, wear those downvotes like well-earned battle scars. Your opinion has found negative reception, but was remarkably objective nonetheless.

And to you, Saberking2012, I must say you are quite something.

Your reviewer is just doing his job as so stated in the group's home page greeting message. He stated the glaring flaws of the story as plainly as any objective writer/reviewer can see. He wasn't insulting you at all, and any offense you took is largely your own imposed interpretation of his words, likely because you think so well about your own story and writing ability rather than wanting to hear feedback in order to improve, which is the main point of reviews.

This is from the rules and FAQS thread:

2. Do you want this fic to be reviewed, or constructively criticised? Here's the difference:

Review: Thread on the consistency of the fic to line up with a grade that the reviewer sets. The grade goes to a
total score of 100, the review is tallied, and placed into one of these groups:

<50-: Needs Work.
51-70: Enjoyable.
71-90: Good stuff!
91-100: Recommended

If the reviewer does not feel it appropriate to make a score (when it's on the 'Needs work' end of the scale) they may leave it out.

Constructive Criticisms: Thread based solely on the consistency of the fic according to the reviewer, with tips and helpful advice to tell the author how to improve their story, or other stories in the future.

The review for your story was given in a normal review format with a score. If you wanted a constructive review, you should have specified so in the first place. What I am about to say next might offend you as well, but I will say it anyway because it must be said. You think too highly of your editors just because they are your friends. I don't know if this is the normal quality of your writing, but considering that they let you publish this story as bad as it is, a good chunk of actual fault for quality lies with them too. You need better editors badly, dear author, or at least better than the one specific editor who largely attended to this story after you wrote it. If I were one of your editors, I would have completely reworded everything from top to bottom.

So if you, Saberking2012, have taken any further offense from this, know that never in any part of this reply during the time I wrote this reply (aside from the links, this rebuttal was getting long enough and they were meant purely to be funny/ironic) did I intend to insult or demean you, not even in subtlety. You have taken offense from objective criticism, and after carefully considering all sides with the same objectivity.

And if you take offense in this, then I just don't know anymore why you do. That being said, you have piqued my interest. This will not be the last you hear from me today, and when you do, hopefully I will have a better opinion of you and your writing.

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I'm really not sure how you derive an insult from that unless you're looking for something to get offended about.

As for polite, if you want a "polite" review, then you want the "Pleasant Reviews" group. This group is called Blunt Reviews for a reason. I'm not here to preserve egos, I'm here to point out flaws and avenues for improvement. As noted, having reviewed several other of your stories, the grammar and characterization have actually gotten substantially worse, which is disappointing to see, since the previous stories showed considerable promise. Your apparent aversion to blunt and unadorned criticism is likely why; as is the abilities and demeanor of your editors.

Having friends edit is rarely a good idea, since they're generally going to care more about your feelings than about offering avenues for improvement. It can be difficult to take blunt criticism, but learning to do so, and finding people who can provide it, is an important part of improving one's skill. And everyone, no matter how good they think they are, has room for improvement.

6055884 Um... Hello. Did not expect to see you here. To answer your first question, I'm fine. As for the rest of your comment/s, I'll answer them the bet I can. I should also note I have no gripe with you nor the reviewer(only what he said).

Too many tags, and some of them are redundant to each other. EqG, drama and sad all that's needed. Tragedy tag not needed either, because while the dad's death is a tragedy, the story doesn't end in an actual tragedy itself. So other than the phrase 'tag cancer,

This is a better way to repress it. When I had my editors, they told me it was fine. Thank you for pointing that out. I'll fix them asap.

You see the problem here? The snippet can imply she and the old man parted ways, and that he is well among the living...so, I hope its plain to see why I have beef with this all to begin with.

Also, this snippet is for reason's sake and logically speaking, the most jarring of all grammatical mishaps.

While I can agree with how it can be seen as a problem, I left it vauge as to not spoil the story. Granted, I could/should've done better regarding the fact but I had my reason/s.

Your reviewer is just doing his job as so stated in the group's home page greeting message. He stated the glaring flaws of the story as plainly as any objective writer/reviewer can see. He wasn't insulting you at all, and any offense you took is largely your own imposed interpretation of his words, likely because you think so well about your own story and writing ability rather than wanting to hear feedback in order to improve, which is the main point of reviews.

That is true but there are a couple a problems with the review itself. I'll give you(him) the benefit of the doubt and say his words were taking out of context. Even if I were to follow that, that doesn't negate the fact that he poorly represented his words and while I have no issues with him personally, this comment-

Again, this has the feel of someone who is both an inexperienced writer, and not a native English speaker (if the author is a native English speaker, that just makes it all even weirder).  But that cannot explain everything that is wrong with the story.  It dwells far too long on insignificant details, and fails to properly set up the story or provide a coherent flow for any of the elements.  Highly traumatizing events are dealt with offhandedly in one case, and in the other there is a weird, almost detached quality to how it's portrayed, despite the ham-handed attempt to invoke sympathy and sadness. author, and all the problems from the previous stories are present here in much greater and more jarring forms.

It's always a good idea to find editors that are more competent with the language and craft than one's self, and are disinterested parties who can judge the story based on its own merits, and are not friends or followers trying to  preserve the author's ego.  That was either not the case here, or if they were, the author did not spend enough time listening to them.

Is my main problem. The review is something I can forgive. By insulting my friend's/editor(never mind me) is something I cannot forgive. I am not the only person who had a problem with this. To clear my words up, the review wasn't the issue. I can forgive that because it's his job and his option. I cannot forgive his disrespect towards my friends and this isn't the first time he has made a direct snide comment towards people. so, I have asked for constrictive criticism but that was ignored.

You think too highly of your editors just because they are your friends. I don't know if this is how you write normally, but considering that they let you publish this story as bad as it is, a good chunk of actual fault for quality lies with them. You need better editors badly, dear author, or at least better than the one specific editor who largely attended to this story after you wrote it. If I were one of your editors, I would have completely reworded everything from top to bottom.

OK, maybe I'm a little biased myself in that regard and yes, I think highly of my friends but that's because they took time out of their day to help me. Keep in mind that is not limited to just my fiends. Even those who went my friend receive the same praise when they help me. I should also note that finding editors is far easier said then done(professional ones might I add) so I have to work with what's given to me.

If I were one of your editors, I would have completely reworded everything from top to bottom.

Is that so? Then I'd gladly take you as a editor if you let me.

So if you, Saberking2012, have taken any further offense from this, know that never in any part of this reply during the time I write this reply (aside from the links, this rebuttal was getting long enough and they were meant purely to be funny/ironic) did I intend to insult or demean you, not even in subtlety. You have taken offense from objective criticism, and after carefully considering all sides with the same objectivity. And if take offense in this, then I just don't know anymore why you do. That being said, you have piqued my interest. This will not be the last you hear from me today, and when you do, hopefully I will have a better opinion of you and your writing.

A)Everything you said was valid. I can't deny that. Like I said, I don't have a problem being called out if I'm wrong. I have a problem if you insult people who take time out of their day to help me. I even said that the review wasn't the issue(a little mean-spirited, but not the main problem). B)I don't have an issue with you. If anything, you seem like a cool dude/girl(sorry if I assumed your gender). If possible, I would like for you to look at me at my best, not like this because I assure you, it's rare I call people out like this. I only actively do this if it involves my friend's or you go to far, neither of witch you did so I thank you. C)I'm going to outright assume that you read the story and disliked it based on the new dislike I saw? Lastly, I don't like making enemies and I hope you do not see me as a horrible person. I may be flawed but I'm not a terrible person. Thank you for your timr and I hope to hear from you again.

6055914 As stated previously, the review wasn't the main issue. If anything I was the least offended of the group. As for the stories being "worse", that's more option then fact. I respect your option but again, it's your option that they are worse. At any rate, I never said you were trying/going to stroke my ego. 95% of my friends don't and I tell them to be brutal honest. My only issue was your poor choice of words regarding my friend's/editors and assuming I don't speak English(well) when I've clearly shown I have. I'm still stand on taking my reviews to the other group as they are unbiased and have more knowledge(from what I've seen). I don't harbor any anger towards you nor do I plan on to. Have a nice day.

6055940
I'll say one more time, he was being blunt, which is how a reviewer in this group is supposed to review a story. If you still take offense, I cannot change that. But again he was just stating the flaws, flaws that your editors might have.

'A Missing Piece' genuinely deserved the downvote for its flaws. I never give an upvote/downvote unless I really like the story or it possesses notable merit/demerit. I might change my mind for future edits. Same goes for 'How Could I Forget,' it deserved that upvote.

Also, concerning the offer, I self-edit my own story, and the next chapter is coming soon. So sorry, but I'm swamped.

And thanks for reading that rather long reply all the way. Hope you're happy with my review of 'How Could I Forget' written as Chrysalis.

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 that's more option then fact. I respect your option but again, it's your option that they are worse.

The word you're looking for there is "opinion", not "option", which ably illustrates the point I was making. Yes, it is; but it's based on the fact that I counted more grammatical errors and bad word choices per paragraph in this story than in your previous stories.

95% of my friends don't and I tell them to be brutal honest

Further illustrating my point. The word you're looking for is "brutally", and you're missing a comma. And my experience is that friends are never as brutally honest as they should be, even when they claim to be. If they are being that brutal, and they missed that many egregious errors in the story, then my statement that you need better editors stands. It's not an insult, it's just an observation of the quality of work. Good editors are extremely difficult to find, something I've complained about extensively elsehwhere.

The only bias here is against bad writing. I review stories, not people.

6055957 While I understand the point of this group, let me show you a quote someone said about the review-

Yeah, that user was rude. There is a difference between being critical and just being flat out insulting. 

That's only one of the several comments over seen. I understand that completely but there is a fine line and the context he had it in was the reason for what I said. Also,I understand. I may give it a read when I can. As for the review, I'll check it out shortly. Also, no problem. Sorry it took so long to reply though

6055961 A)Sorry. Phone auto corrected some of the words. But that doesn't mean I can't speak/write either. B)I said this once and I'll say it again. It's easier said than done in terms of finding editors. You may have better luck with that but I don't. Also, judging me based on this V.S writing is kinda silly considering I act far different with the latter then the former. Please keep that in mind...

6055965

The only bias here is against bad writing. I review stories, not people.

What he said.

I'm leaning towards the assumption that quote was from a guy who viewed your story positively. In this day and age, especially in the USA, most young people cannot tell the difference between being rude and being blunt. If one takes offense to something that has been said, then it is probably true to some extent. Otherwise why would they be bothered? The truth hurts, but whether you choose to see it as an insult to take offense from or feedback that helps you improve, is up to you entirely.

6055992 Believe it or not, he didn't read the story(to my knowledge). I knew him way after that was published. As for the young people, he/she wasn't the only one that said/noticed this. If it was just me or one person, I would agree with you completely but that isn't the case here. Regardless, I'm just going to write this off and move on because he did end up responding and while I wish he would fix/change the context of his comment, I will not force it. Also, I might just remove it for now until it is fixed since its very "flawed". Thank you for your time and have a nice day.

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Not just young people, but a very large number of people simply cannot handle criticism of any sort, let alone blunt criticism. They will take any criticism as "rude" and "insulting", because they're not interested in improvement, they're interested in praise, in the ego boost. And it's very easy to find people to praise even poor quality work, if you're willing to pander to them enough.

The "not a native English speaker" comment was made because the pattern of errors that I saw in the story is commonplace for those for whom English is a second language. It's a bit odd to see that pattern from a native English speaker; but even then it's not an insult unless you have some sort of prejudice against such people.

And personally, I don't care about downvotes. It's also a remarkably easy thing to mobilize a bunch of followers to attack someone else you disagree with, that kind of mob action happens all over the Internet, and it's beyond childish. Downvoting is for people who are unable to formulate and intelligent an intelligible response in defense of their beliefs and opinions.

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It's also a remarkably easy thing to mobilize a bunch of followers to attack someone else you disagree with, that kind of mob action happens all over the Internet, and it's beyond childish. Downvoting is for people who are unable to formulate and intelligent an intelligible response in defense of their beliefs and opinions.

And that's the type of arrogance that leads up to the down vote/dislikes. Not to mention you don't speak for everyone. You assume they are stupid and blindly following me when in reality they see you in the wrong. At no point did I tell them to do anything. They did it of their own choice. To place an example, this tread(link) I posted a few minutes after catching your review. If you believe your absolutely right, then say something to prove you meant no malice behind your review/comment. I'm not enforcing you to do this but keep in mind how it will look to everyone else. I'll leave you with your choice. Have a nice day.

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Well, that pretty much says it all right there.

6056269 ? It's clear to me that your not willing to try and see things in a different light. It's unfortunate but I can't help those who are unwilling to help themselves. Have a good day.

Well that escalated quickly.
Also, got even more downvotes than my review of Aeluna, and I was brutal in that thing.

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In case of Aeluna, exactly what Batwing said:

It's also a remarkably easy thing to mobilize a bunch of followers to attack someone else you disagree with, that kind of mob action happens all over the Internet, and it's beyond childish.

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And that's the type of arrogance that leads up to the down vote/dislikes.

Thats his opinon, not  arrogance. And in this case I agree with him, not that you have caused this of course, instead that this happens all over the internet, exspecial on Fim. I understand that you are a bit negative about him at the moment, but you may should differ between opinion and insults and mindstates

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As for polite, if you want a "polite" review, then you want the "Pleasant Reviews" group.

The comment about polite was from me not him.

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I took a peek into that thread because I'm curious and nosy by character. And one thing I will say that you all have in common on is that you are all on the touchy side.

This is a blunt review group, and in keeping to that name, the reviewers have given themselves a license to be rude and scathing if needed. It's baffling that you submitted your story and didn't expect any chance that the author would be rude about your story, which a work by both you and your editors.

As you know, I'm a reviewer myself, and have been around far longer than BatwingCandlewaxxe. But while I have been dormant on reviews due to the decline of TECS among other things, let me tell you that I have written a few scathing reviews myself, I didn't hear back from the authors. Their stories I've reviewed have been long dead, no new comments since, and I'm mostly certain that reading what I said about their writing made them quit and never come back...or at least not on the same account. I still stand by those reviews, but they were worded so rudely, scathingly and brutally, you'd think BatwingCandlewaxxe's review was playground teasing. That just goes to show at the time, I was just only starting out as writer/critic and needed improving myself. I've learned that while it is fun and liberating to write blunt and scathing reviews, it is more enlightening and fulfilling to be constructive.

Backstory aside, i was scathing in my past reviews because it was how I ended up improving. On the other hand, your critic was only being blunt as the group's M.O. allows him, and has hardly been scathing in a handful of sentences. He definitely was rude with 'stroking your ego,' but there was no malice whatsoever. Where did that come from? Anywho you are all just too touchy and overreacted about what he said, and they wouldn't have downvoted his review if you didn't provide a link. They egged his house but you told them where he lived. Of course they are going to side with you, they are a support group and you asked them for support. And all because he was being rude and blunt in a group called the 'blunt reviews group'...which meant he was doing his job.

I hope my confusion is clear at this point.

6057255 While I can see where your coming from (in terms of downvotes), that doesn't negate the original conversation. I provide the link because I wanted other people's option on the matter. Had I not done that, it would make me look like I was lying and I don't like that. And maybe I was a bit immature for a short moment I can't deny that. However, as stated previously, the review isn't/wasn't the main issue for me. Far from it. It was the poor choice of words(directed at me and the editors. More so the latter). Also, yes, I get that being blunt is the M.O here but there's a difference between being blunt/critical and outright being disrespectful. I am not the only person who thought this. It's like this-I have no issues with said user anymore. If he didn't mean to be malice, OK but I offered him a chance to explain himself in that conversation and I even told him that I don't have an issue with him anymore. I would like to drop this altogether and move on. Thank you for your time and have a nice day