Stealthily padding your top, yearning for real flesh.

4945735 ....Does fat count?

4945815
Flesh at chest is fat and tissue.:P

Trying to record, then silliness.

4945927 Yeah, but I have man boobs...*looks at them*...not what I want.

4946066
Boobs are boobs, just of more varying consistency. You'll get that in time~

4946083 Honestly if I could just get rid of my big belly I'd be happy. My butt and thighs would still be a little big, but that's not necessarily a bad thing~

4946139
Not at all.:3 (Best of fortune then~)

When you want to be called by your chosen name at school, but at the same time you are too afraid that it'll bring unwanted attention.

4976229
Did you email your instructors before class starts? I do that every semester and never ran into any trouble, even when students found out my legal name they were still respectful.

Though, I don't think anyone on my campus would mess with a 6 foot girl.

4976393
(I mentioned earlier in the thread that my instructors are pretty good with avoiding misgendering, but I'm not officially recognised as female by everyone, it just depends on how I'm read at the moment.) They all know, but yeah, I try to email instructors now. I had one that I refrained from mailing about how I'd like to be referred to for almost an entire semester out of fear, but my fears were assuaged once the result went over well. He even used my preferred pronouns. Yeah, but I'm underweight and scrawny. Makes me look cute, but not dangerous.

4976393

I think we're likely extremely close in height, of course, I'm farther in the closet than the girl in Poltergeist. One person, only one, IRL knows. Of course, he also has a tendency to blurt stuff out, so now I'm stuck with a heart attack nearly all 7 hours. Of course, I 'accidentally' wore my sister's socks, no one batted an eye. I wore a girl's sweatshirt, no one batted an eye. I'm wearing an MLP charm bracelet and no one's batting an eye.
At one point, today at lunch, I yelled 'I WILL NOT CONFORM TO YOUR GENDER STEREOTYPES!" and got no reactions from anyone.
Backwoods Missouri, Churches everywhere, only so 400 students in the High School. That should have at least raised some eyebrows.
School not a problem, home is, to be honest.

Due to my social anxiety, and not both parents being entirely supportive, I haven't been able to "come out" to my classes and be recognised other than whatever they make of me, not knowing me well. My teachers are well aware that I'm trans, and are thoroughly respectful.
Today, I learnt that my French teacher is the absolute best. (Along with my math tutor.) Since he started having me, because I had long been afraid to have my teachers use female pronouns rather than simply avoid the masculine, he took care to avoid referring to me by any, ever. As such, I originally thought he was just being sufficiently courteous. Then, a bit ago, in our private session, using me as an example, he referred to me as a "conservatrice."

Sometimes, positivity!

4976827 I should do that. Now, if only it wasn't hot as balls in arizona, maybe I could swipe my mom's bronco sweaters... her socks wouldn't fit though.

I had of those sudden epiphanies a while ago that I tend to have, realising something important. I realised that I've got social anxiety, hence why I'm afraid to socialise despite wanting to do so, hence why I completely seize up when in the center of attention of multiple people. Well, at least I know why that is.

Being a North Carolina citizen right now:

5136676

That is deeply shitty.

Spiking dysphoria today, really wish surgery was an option financially.

Not entirely an annoyance for me, mostly a question that's not worth an entire thread:

If you run into another Trans person and they aren't doing a particularly good job of passing, what is the proper etiquette?
I ask because I ran into one at Barnes and Noble today, and his (Definitely He, short beard, thick-ish leg hair) breasts were kind of showing through his jersey... I didn't say anything, but every instinct in me wanted to.

5160082
Probably best to not do it, you can easily ruin someones day if you openly tell them they are not passing. Not to mention you really do not know they are trans, for all you know they are gender nonconforming and are just doing whatever they like.

SHAVING!!!!

5160160 Good point. Always better to keep my mouth shut. Now, that said, just nonconforming wouldn't get that level of beard...

5160082
5160160

Or he could just have manboobs.

5160185 Possible...Unlikely, but certainly a possibility. Honestly, even with the beard, he was a bit more feminine looking than his girlfriend. If I could pull that off (instead of my facial hair making me straight into a mountain-man appearance...I hate my European body hair...Instant thick stubble), I would.

Dicking around with Cortana on phone:
Me: "I'm transgender."
Cortana: "Playing Crystal Castles."
Me: "GOD DAMN IT CORTANA."

5218582
You have Cortana?

You poor soul.

4910762

I don't know if this is still relevant, but it popped up at the top and was fairly old. I owned the DVD version of this at one point, and it looks like she's released them on her own Youtube channel. She's who I learned from.

Andrea James

She also runs a site called tsroadmap that was great information. I don't know how much of it is still relevant, but it certainly was back in 2005, and I can't imagine too much of the advice has changed that much in the intervening time, aside from legal and technological changes.

5136676

You have my sympathies. The state where I work is considering a similar bill. Our governor is awesome, though, and has already come down hard on the side of veto if it ever gets to him.

so I'm closeted and not 100% of my gender (probe trans guy or transmasculine or somethin)
and I've been asking my parents to get short hair for awhile (it's currently a little under shoulder length and looks like shit)
but when I tried to talk oabout my dad about it he went kinda on a homophobic rant and I almost had a panic attack
I just made a blog about it here
And I'm freaking out and aaaaaaAAAAAAAAA
I can't wait till college and I can be out more safely and to more people

To be clear, bear in mind the fact that there are multiple aspects of gender dysphoria. For simplicity's sake, I'll present three main types:

1. Physical (general),
2. Genital,
3. Social.

Different trans people experience the three types to differing extents.

For some trans people, the social aspects are what most affect their gender dysphoria. They want to be treated, socially, as their gender identity, and this is the highest priority for them. Often, as long as the people around them start treating them like their gender identity, a lot of their discomfort can be resolved. Sometimes, trans people with a lot of social dysphoria might end up overdoing their target gender (initially), going a bit overboard with dresses or being gruff and manly (depending on the direction they're going).

For most trans people there is also a degree of physical dysphoria. This is where they are uncomfortable with their own bodies. There are a LOT of subtle factors that eventually add up to our mental assessment of "male/female." Your average person is not quite aware of these factors; in their minds, they think "nice boobs/butt = female, no boobs w/ short hair = male." They are not aware of the countless subtle factors including:

-Shoulder width (according to one study, there's only about a one inch difference in biacromial [shoulders, bone to bone] width between men and women at around age 18 or so)

-Hip width (this is possibly one of the most important areas for hormone-based sex differentiation. Females tend to have broader pelvises with a rounder hole in the middle [not that you can see this hole while the person is alive] compared to male pelvises)

-Brow ridge (do you notice how when people draw cave men that their foreheads tend to protrude out a lot around the eyebrows? If you look carefully, many males tend to have this brow ridge, while in females it is noticeably less pronounced, and their foreheads are rather flat even if they angle outwards at the bottom. This is actually a very key area we look at when we try to determine gender by looking at someone's face)

-Jaw line (actually, less important than the forehead, I think. There are many beautiful women in the media with strong jaw lines, like Keira Knightley. But you're hard pressed to even find an unattractive women with prominent brow ridges)

-Chin width (chins are broader in males, generally speaking)

-Eyebrows (this is more artificial than anything. Many women will shape their eyebrows to look more "womanly" but it's not a feature that will tip the scales alone, unlike a brow ridge)

-Ribcage (women typically have smaller ribcages. Combining smaller ribcage/shoulders with larger hips, you get a lot of cartoon women with non-existent upper bodies with gigantic hips, like Dexter's mom.)

-Hands/feet (women tend to have smaller hands/feet. Usually not that noticeable unless they're extremely large/small)

These are just some of the many subtle factors that people actually use to differentiate between male/female. Trans people heading in both directions learn all of these things to death. And that's not even mentioning the obvious things like voice.

Finally, there's genital dysphoria. For all of the hype genitals get, there are honestly a fair number of trans people who don't give a damn about their genitals, which is why we differentiate between genital and physical dysphoria. I think it's in part due to the social dysphoria aspect; for some trans people, their physical dysphoria also gets relieved when they physically resemble their identified gender enough that they don't encounter social issues related to gender. Notably, since most people don't see your genitals (unless you're a porn star or heading to court for indecent exposure), you might not necessarily experience dysphoria related to your genitals. Combined with the sheer risks and costs of surgery (it's a pretty major surgery to try to change out your genitals), some people just don't feel enough genital dysphoria to actually get things changed down south.

Myself, my dysphoria is mostly physical/genital. I have a very strong belief that men and women are equally capable in the things that matter to me in life, and I don't care for gender roles in general. I full well enjoy my current hobbies, and don't particularly want to be treated like a woman socially. However, I DO experience a lot of discomfort with my own body. Mentally, I just hate seeing a man when I look in the mirror, and something just feels...harmonious about mentally substituting a woman in instead.

Source. One of the comments.

I would like feedback on this from informed people.

I got thrown under the proverbial bus, emotionally yesterday. One of my friends was on Facebook spewing all sorts of transphobic stuff. She doesn't know I am trans and I really didn't expect that type of thing from her. It really hurt and left me really upset for the rest of the day. I know I should just suck it up, I mean heck I'm over 40. I should be all flinty and hardened in the heart right? I'm not though, I am a terribly naive and optimistic person. I like to believe best in others, and so I get wacked in the heart like I did yesterday. Just thinking about it today disturbs me.

5505945

>facebook

That place is full of crap nowadays. I'd suggest you stop using Facebook.

5505945
Rather than that, I'd suggest you consider how much you care about your friend. No friend should say those things. If you feel up to it, you can try talking about it, and maybe she can redeem herself— or otherwise, you should stop talking to her. <3 hope you'll be feeling better soon~

5506051 I can't really, I use it to communicate with my brother, who lives on the other side of the country.

5506284 I wish I could but with in a few hours she had other people backing her up. After that she won't listen to any view that counters that. If it gets worse I will block her, like my friend from high school who blocked me for my liberal political views. Yeesh, If it weren't for a few people and my brony group, I would definitely drop using Facebook.

5508263 Get a different chat program, like Skype or Discord.

5508263
I'm sorry to hear that.

So, uh, own thing here. I used to be really close with my three cousins, back before I came out to myself, but nowadays I'm a bit distant. I'm scared of talking about myself and I don't know how I'd come out, so I just do my thing and let they do theirs.

5508968 What are their families like?

5508972
I don't know their attitudes toward LGBT-stuff, at least.:/

5508973 Just drop a hint or two and ask them about it.

5508981
Well, I'm super obvious as it is (though I'm not sure if that's a good sign or not), but I'll try. Thanks.

5508968 I totally understand that, and my sympathies.

Thank you!

5509109
Thanks, and no problem.<3

Not being sure if I want to go on hormones or not.

5517552
Why do you feel that is, if I might ask?

5517643 the main reason is simply that I'm not dysphoric about my body. The only real benefits would be the two that eventually pop up on my chest.

If I could get rid of my facial hair, I think I could live with the rest. I'm looking into getting an epilator to take care of that because I can never get a good smooth shave.

If I do decide if want to go on hormones, I'm only one city away from an ic clinic.

5517784
Aha. Hope you'll sort it out soon then.:)

Friends, we have to talk about this problematic new movie by M. Night Shylamalamadingdong that portrays transpeople as killer maniacs.

'Cause, like.

It's giving me a bad feel. I have a feminine personality, but I do not ordinarily cut people into chunks and eat them.

except on mondays, because I am secretly Yukari Yakumo in disguise

5773945
There isn't too much to worry about at least. Since Signs, almost every M. Night Shyamalan film has been complete garbage and have left no impact on the film industry other than reviews with mediocre to bad ratings.

5774011 Especially the film adaptation of Avatar. That is an insult to the intelligence of fans everywhere.

5774013