We seem to be a Pixelkitties meme.

Quotes from the debate:

"I am a professional. Professional what you ask? Yes."

"I'd handle Putin by putting him over my knee and delivering a prompt spanking, as is the way for unruly children."

"My advisers will be a diverse group including 3 princesses, a dragon and that guy who runs the Quill and Sofa store"

"Under my administration, we will engage in giant sexy robot athletic competitions rather than traditional war."

"I plan to ban both vaccines AND diseases. Problem solved, next question."

"I should be on the $10 bill. But not the $1 bill because I don't want to jammed into G Strings at 'Scandals'"

"Somebody on this stage keeps farting, but I'm too professional to say who."

"...It's Jeb Bush."

"Remember, compared to these bipedal candidates, I have four legs ready to kick ass! Professionally."

Only one candidate deserves your vote. And your oats.

Vote Harshwhinny.

4717708
Sources say that Ms. Harshwhinny plans on being her own running mate, as no one else is sufficiently professional. When asked how this would affect succession in the event of her death in office, Ms. Harshwhinny stared at the reporter until he apologized and withdrew the question.

I just don't understand why she would stoop so low as the POTUScy. Is she slumming or something?

4717733 She's looking for a weekend gig. Gotta send the foals to fancy private schools, y'know.

I for one welcome our professional overlord.

We need to get Ms. H and that Dem. Donkey, Haylery on the same debate stage.

She'd probably make a better president than most of the potential candidates running now would.

4717715
I think she ought to pick Cranky Doodle Donkey as her running mate. Not to fill in for her if she were unable to fulfill the duties of her office for some unfathomable reason, but because he's so good at complaining! He could say the things that Ms. Harshwhinny, as the professional that she is, would be unable to say. It's the perfect ticket!

Harshwinny/Doodle in 2016!

4719632
She's got my vote.

Even though she's an alien horse who does not technically exist in this universe.

We can do write-in candidates in America...

A horrible waste of my democratic right, but if I'm disgusted with both major candidates anyway...

I'm especially impressed by how much she amped up the level of professionalism for this campaign. I didn't think more professionalism was even possible, but the evidence is right there in front of us: Ms. Harshwhinny has now got so much of it that she had to add an extra letter to her name just to hold it all.

4720172
Everyone knows that the letter "e" is just a frikkin' sponge for professionalism.

4721357
YES!

IN YOUR FACE, 4720172
I'M ONE LETTER MORE PROFESSIONAL THAN YOU

4722184
You do realize that, by that logic, 4721357 needs to resign as group moderator and hand the reins over to one of 4717708, 4717715 or 4718534?

And if Estee ever joins the group, instant coup.

4722189
Don't care.

More professional than you.

4722192
That's a dangerous thing to be proud of, seeing as how everyone is more professional than both of us combined.

4722195
That's true. "Everyone" has three e's, while "both of us combined" only has one.

4722189 4722184 4722222
I think I'll create a sock puppet named "Beekeeper Effervescence Degenerescence" and take over FIMFiction.

4722256
Is this a good time to mention that I'm changing my user name to "Skyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewriter"?

4720172
4721357

You think? I just figured her campaign managers added the "E" in her name in order to gain votes. You know the trick - all the other people with E in their name see it and go "Wow, she's just like me!"

4722913
Do not make me pull out titin[1], Skywriter.

[1] Full chemical name here—all 189,819 letters of it.
[2] Pronunciation:

4722189

Well, I could probably just take over the group myself if that happens. If it all comes down to how many e's are in your name, that is...

--Sweetie Belle

4723743
I think we could have a whole fierce moderator debate on whether the last "e" in "Sweetie" counts. It'd be like Obama's birth certificate all over again.

4723629
Yes, but how many of them are "e"?

4723862

Somepony thinks that 'e' doesn't count?

Well, I suppose I do have four others...

--Sweetie Belle

Update: she got the endorsement from the coveted Seal of Approval!

4725378
Holy crap do I love adorable pinnipeds.

4730033
Neat, she's going on the road!

4730033
"This just in—précis of current events delayed. News at eleven."

Oh.... dear. This is gonna be bad for the poll numbers.

4756802
It's Coco! Coco is automatically good for poll numbers, no matter in what capacity.

4757970
Celebrity endorsements!

4756802
Sun above, what's your worry? It says right there, they're only a minority. We're interested in pursuing core voters, not diluting our message by pandering to special interests.

Frickin' tuft-chins are all lazy and unprofessional anyway. Coming to Twitter and stealing upstanding ponies' Twitter handles instead of inventing their own chat service. Free tip, you lazy ingrates, since ponies have to do all the thinking for you anyway: Call it "Bleater." Or maybe "wife-bleater." HA! That's all you do anyway while sitting around on your porches sucking up welfare bits.

We should deport 'em all back to Lower Goatistan, or wherever the buck they came from, and be done with it.

Professionally yours,
Moral Majority
HW2016 Campaign Manager

4758046

Frickin' t***-ch*ns

Oh, my. Somepony cover 4723743's ears …

Hey, moderator 4725435? Can we censor MM's post or something? That sounds like the sort of easily misunderstood but perfectly innocuous statement that some stupid goat is just waiting to take out of context, screenshot, post to Twitter, and fabricate outrage over totally spurious charges of casual racism.

Well, they might if they weren't so stupid. But the ponies that have to babysit them might give them ideas.

4758116
Naw, man. I ain't censoring that.

Don't worry about it. Goats are too stupid to use computers, so they won't ever see it. I'm not talking individual goats here, either. Species-wide.

hey can someone loan me a little cash? i think i've got an idea for that goat-based social network

4761151

Never buy a domain name from a site that misuses "it's" on their page. Who knows what you'd end up with? You may find yourself owning "GoatTub.com" or something instead.

--arcum42

4761151, 4761834
I'm just a little amazed that the harvesting company wanted a domain like "GoatHub" in the first place. What exactly were they hoping to re-sell it for?

4762607
That's the beauty of the free market. You don't actually have to know what can be made out of the name, you just have to convince some goat that it's worth what you're asking.

Given how stupid goats are, that seems like a pretty good bet.

OOH! Maybe Harshwhinny should buy it for a goat-themed campaign website! She could professionally assess the goats' stupidity so that they realize how much better she is, and then they'll be obligated to vote for her as a superior life-form! Higher office, here we come!

4762943
Or maybe we could just convince all the stupid goats to show up one day after the polls. We could make it look like a public service thing but instead we're all like "make sure you vote on Wednesday November (blah blah)" so they'll all be too late. Or we could just tell them that if they have ever been convicted of a felony they have no right to vote, when in fact this is not legally true.

I wish I were making this stuff up.

4762984
I wish you were making that up, too. Real-world evil is so banal.

I think we need to up the voter-fraud ante. Think like supervillains. For example, we could trick all the goats into uploading their brains into a virtual utopia controlled by a benevolent AI like 4723867, and then since their physical residence would be outside the borders of the U.S., they would be ineligible to vote against Harshwhinny.

Or we could build a giant, easy-to-use, infallible mind-control ray; mount it on the Empire State Building (a few blocks from U.N. headquarters and within line of sight of Wall Street); and use it to target individual voters in goat precincts when they enter the polling booths, making them "accidentally" smudge their ballots so they have to ask for a new one, and then when the precincts run out of ballots, they won't be able to vote.

Also, the plan should involve time travel. Or ninjas. Or building a fortress in a giant lava dome. Or all four.

4763291
Uhh … you're going to build a mind-control ray capable of convincing anyone to do anything, install it in one of the most populous cities on the planet, and your grand plan is smudging ballots?

Why not just mind-control them into voting for Harshwhinny directly?

4763299
BECAUSE STYLE POINTS.

4762607

Some of these harvesting companies also run free websites where you can search to see if a domain name is taken, then actually go and buy the domains people searched for. It's scummy, but it happens...

GoatHub would also be a good name for a parody of GitHub, so that's also a possibility.

--arcum42

4763291

You want me to try herding goats?

--Sweetie Belle

Mixed news for the campaign. On the one hand, I'm very disappointed in this pandering to a fanbase, and think it will turn off moderate voters. But on the other, script from the announcement indicates the three pictured fillies are her new campaign managers. This is good news. Not only are they adorable, but it means the racist asshole Moral Majority got his ass kicked to the curb.

Don't you just love it when your enemies play into your hooves? Trump thinks this will show what an awkward loser Harshwhinny was, but in doing so completely misreads the American public. People are gonna see the adorable child picture and go "Awwwwwwww." And they're gonna see that she's sad and wonewy and love her even more.

We've been searching for weeks for a way to make people forget about Goatgate, and now we got it!

4795509
I disagree. The "Woona" experiment shows how completely apathetic people are toward characters like this. You can't sit there with a straight face and tell me that people actually enjoy this type of character or that they write huge amounts of fanfic and fanart about them or whatever.