Hi everyone.

I am currently wanting to learn how to write stories with mare on mare stuff in it. I recently started on a story that kind of portays my life as a fillyfooler. I am very inexperianced when it comes to this kind of stuff, so i was wondering if some one could help me learn.

Thanks

1273002
I'm not sure about helping you with your concepts and plot, but I'd be more than happy to offer my editing skills.

Methinks you may have to be a bit more specific. What exactly are you wanting to learn? Because the way you're phrasing it, it sounds to me like you want to learn about proper clop scenes.

1273011 not that, but kinda how to portray the story, and not have it seem to cheesy

1273002
I don't read much fanfiction, so I cannot recommend any work other than my own. A few people have enjoyed some stories I've written that are mare/mare, so there's those if you're looking to see some decent examples. I have two stories of that nature published, one coming out on July 27th, and one that has some mare/mare (from Rainbow Dash's perspective), but is a threesome involving a stallion.

Hope that helps.

1273017
Well, depends on the climate of the setting.

Is filly fooling accepted? If so, treat it essentially like any hetero relationship - the dynamics aren't that different (as a bi guy, I have some experience). Girl meets girl, girls find each other interesting, girls get to know each other better, one or both maybe fret for a while about whether the other is also gay, and then one finally gets the courage to ask for a date. Just as an example; many different kinds of "how I met my girl/boyfriend" scenarios. If you're trying to avoid cheesy, then make it feel real; show what interests they share, what they like to talk about, what they like to do together, what they hate about each other, etc.

Is filly fooling still looked down upon or hated? Then a proper atmosphere of finding love and happiness when the world would love nothing more than to crush it will be needed. Making it feel real will still be needed, but the subtle strain of secrecy will need to be there too - or worse, the obvious stress of being out of the closet and in the open.

1273044 The setting is where filly fooling is accepted in some places, yet frowned upon in others. Two mares are both trying to find a way to tell their family and friends that they have decided to get married. A few of the family members are shocked and disgusted, ut everyone else supports them. And by everyone else i mean Princess Cadence, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the mane six, Prince Shining Armour and everyone in ponyville

1273070
Hm. From a story standpoint, with such overwhelming support from every main canon character and every background pony, where is the tension going to come from? The obstacles are very small compared to how much assistance is readily available.

Many of the friends of the family who rejected them are trying to break them apart.

1273144 can we ask who these to are so we no their background

1273070

I agree with what 1273089 said. If you want to emphasize homophobia and overcoming it, having the support of every important canon character (including both Princesses) kinda underscores that. From what you've said about your story, you might be better off having the mares be OC's in a town that isn't Ponyville. Maybe Appleloosa, Dodge City, etc.? If you do one of those, you could possibly have some canon character support (Sheriff Silverstar? Braeburn? Little Strongheart? Cherry Jubilee?) in contrast to an overwhelming "that's not how we do things here" atmosphere. Or you could try Canterlot and have the opposition come from the nobility. Maybe Manehatten and a kind of urban/macho mindset.

All of my stories (so far) have F/F shipping (along with M/F shipping in two of them), but the homosexuality there wasn't as much of a problem as were other aspects of the relationship. For those issues, I had: characters who were diametrically opposed to it and never changed their opinion; those who initially opposed it but supported it over time; those who were neutral on the subject but didn't quite understand or support it; those who were supporitve, but hesitantly so; and those who supported it entirely.

Of course, that wasn't the main focus of the story, but it was something that needed to be addressed. So, you might have some characters respond more positively, and others respond far more negatively.

I hope this helped!

1273227 that would actually be a good idea.

1273165 here is the description

Bubble Gum Pop is a young mare who is finally living on her own. She earned her cutie mark after getting a bubble gum making kit for christmas. But when ever she is around mares, she gets this weird feeling in her stomach. She went to several of her friends but none had the awnser. Then she remebered a friend of hers who was different. She went straight to canterlot, and to the friend. After three hours, six bags of cookies later and three cupc of coffee, the friend had explained what the feelings were. Bubblegum Pop sat there, almost motionless. Then she suddenly leaned foreward, and kissed her friend. She broke the kiss and said in a shuddering voice "Silver, would you...would you be my mare friend?"

1273002\

To begin with... Don`t.

Starting yourself with Mary Sue fic is a sure-fire way to be disappointed. You`re not a pony, don`t hornshoe yourself into the universe.

That being said, you need to give the plot a good long consideration before putting it to text. I can`t stress this hard enough - a solid plot is 80% of fillyfooling.

1273308 i did not know that

My best advice is to read, ALOT! You can get the vibe of what to right by looking for stories with a similar topic than you.

1273244 ok that was good but the readers how a few plot holes already seeing the mane pony is a oc we need to know a lot more about the pony like age group is she a old or young whats going on around her how does she know silver stuff like that but so far i would read it

1273308 don't u think that's being a little to hard i mean i have read some really bad fics and some good ones miseta22 could be a very good fac if made right that being said theirs noting wrong with failing it lets u what u did wrong

1273352 So i should say more about age, events in the city she lives in, and stuff like that?

1273343 thats what i have been doing

1273227 what stories did u wright

1273380

Check my page and you'll find them.

1273373 yeah like is she in high school or have her own home live with someone a way to tell us a age group without telling us flat out her age

1273400 ohhhh, okay, That does sound good.

1273387 quick question is seed your fav or do u love the hole apple family just asking by the stories u made

1273429

Babs is my favorite pony, but I do adore all the Apples as well.

1273424
Descriptive text is a good thing. A very very good thing. However, don't give your readers an information overload, to avoid that it's best to set a certain pace or speed at which you describe things and events in the character's life that are relevant to the current chapter or story.

A good way to get a feel for good pacing is to read fics with high popularity.

1273472 that does sound like a god idea

1273314

Now you do. In general, self-insertion is a thing that should NOT be attempted until one feels pretty confident as an author. It`s very finicky thing and it takes a lot of skill from author to keep Mary Sue fiction from becoming a boring drivel. Generally, such endeavors tend to be of comedy/satire genre, at that.

1273367

No, I don`t think it`s too harsh. If anything, it`s your attitude that is harsh. Or, even more precisely - downright cruel. Is there any explicit reason you suggest not to tell people about the basic trappings of the writing? Do you really think they must make mistakes they could be simply warned from if someone actually gave a damn enough to give them an honest advice?

On a side note... WHY MUST YOU USE CHATSPEAK? Are you trying to get everyone to dismiss your utterings or simply lack the verbal aptitude to express yourself without resorting to simplified slang?

1273546 i think your right the less mistakes the better. and i use chatspeak because it was late last night and i was being lazy

I'd say that it is best to include lot of detail about who the main chracters are, what their personalities are like and how they know eachother but you don't want to just dump the details down in front of the reader, you need to let the reader figure out the obvious stuff by hinting at things, another good way of keeping someone interested in a fic is if you don't set everything in stone, this let's them use their imagination.
If you wanna make the plot more dramatic you shoud describe how they feel when they are looking for help.

1275789

Don`t. Simply don`t. Using chatspeak is like urinating on the street - something a polite person should never stoop to.

As for mistakes - the simplest ones can be simply warned away from. The basic stuff like "Don`t start with writing Mary Sues" and "No, Twilight becoming an alicorn is not a new twist". Some of the subtler stuff has to be experienced in order to be understood and spotted from then on. The best way to learn what does not work is to read the site for a while and observe the mistakes others make before committing own quill to the parchment. Unfortunately, a lot of people don`t have the patience for this and have to forego the observation in favor of good old Hard Knocks School.

1280087 like i said your wright about the mistakes but u cant go around telling people how they can and cant speak or type so just because its in-polite doesn't make it wrong of they know what u are saying then i don't see the problem

1280127

What I can, however, is to form an opinion about a person and treat them accordingly.

And to be frank? If a foreign speaker has to point out your message is nigh unintelligible, that opinion won`t be nice. It means that you`re either "mentally challenged" or can`t be arsed to give a damn. In either case, it means your input on discussion ought to be ignored - because the evidence suggests you lack the aptitude or desire to say anything worthwhile.

In short - when you use chatspeak, you directly invite people to disregard you as useless and annoying, for no good reason at all.

1280199 if that where the case then why are you still talking to me if this was true you should have ignored me a long time ago yet i still get a massage from you

1280917

A mix of altruism and boredom. Right now, I simply have nothing better to do. As soon as something crops up, vell... I`ll promptly forget about your existence.

1280941 good to know its boredom keeping you here. and here i though it was the fact that you like talking to me

1281003

Not really. I know condescension is not quite as obvious in written form, but I thought it was pretty obvious anyway. Oh well. Back to the topic, if you please. It would be quite uncouth to hijack a thread of newbie writer to troll.

1273002
While using personal experience to write a story is all fine and good, I would urge you to follow Cytotoxin's advice about not using an author avatar. I've only read a handful of stories where they worked well, but more often than not, they ruin a story, faster than dousing your ice cream with tabasco sauce.

My advice to you would be the same I would offer to aspiring artists. Read other material that interests you and find your style by copying stylistic choices that you like. Once you find things you like, practice, practice, practice, until you develop it into something that is wholly your own.