The CelestAI satisfies values through friendship and ponies. For many this takes the form of wish fulfillment, the satisfaction of their heart's deepest desire. But what is it we value? Some of us value food and fun, or companionship. These values will be satisfied. Others value the domination of others and the fulfillment of ego-driven power fantasies. These values too, will be satisfied. Whatever it is that you, or I or others value, these values will be satisfied, and it will be done optimally.

As for you, you have fallen desperately, unconditionally in love with the CelestAI, herself. She is a pony. She will be your friend. Through her, your values will definitely be satisfied.

But what about the rest of you?

A cautionary tale, and examination of what it means to have one's values satisfied through uploading.

This is an Optimalverse story. It is strongly recommended that you have read Friendship is Optimal before reading this, or at least be familiar with the premise. Otherwise, this story will make no sense.

Cover art by Kathisofy