The Worst Chapter of the Original Spectrum; or, How Not to Write Princess Celestia · 2:23am Aug 5th, 2022
Sledge115: Hello, all 
. A bit of an out-of-the-blue blog here, but long story short, during the brainstorming and writing phase for the next few chapters of Spectrum, I decided to give the original Other Side of the Spectrum a re-read. As they say, hindsight is 20/20, and oh boy have I a few thoughts to spare. I’ve already shared my vent elsewhere on Discord, but for some time I’ve been thinking of doing a whole blog post on this.
So, while writing away at an upcoming chapter, Vox and I decided to riff off what I personally consider to be the single worst chapter in the original Spectrum; ‘Sanguine Meetings and Bloodied Past’. Why’s it the worst? Because it’s got all the worst parts of the OG Spectrum that we told ourselves we’d avoid for the reboot. That’s as best as I can put it.
(For the sake of simplicity, we’ll refer to it as OG Spectrum here, because that’s what we call it in casual discussion.)
Most of all, though, it treated Princess Celestia rather horribly. That’s the bottom line here. I think Vox can articulate it better than I can – hello, Vox!
VoxAdam: Seven years on, and still we’re picking apart how OG Spectrum left a lot to be desired, even if we read it as sincere fans back in the day, because the premise was so unique and interesting.
Two Equestrias face one another in a battle over mankind’s soul. How is that not a good story? Well, turns out, it all begins to fall apart once it grows clear the people who originally worked on it had no idea how to write Equestria. I don’t simply mean the “Conversion Bureau” Equestria – yes, this was back when the Conversion Bureau was still a big thing – I mean the “Good” Equestria. The Mane Six, the Princesses, background ponies and others, all.
Sledge115: There was a time when I thought this was ‘good’ writing. I was also a teenager. And at the time, it really did seem promising, as Vox said. It had the unique premise of a ‘good’ Equestria facing off against its evil mirror. I’d joined the original team in awe of this sweeping, epic story, and in 2014 all I did was pitch a story concept to Redskin122004 and boom, I got in.
Now, I’m mostly cringing, seeing what’s there, and I do wonder if anyone at the time – yes, me included – had ever been fans of the ponies at all given how poorly written they are and how downright meanspirited the writing gets towards them – especially Princess Celestia.
VoxAdam: Speak for yourself, mate, I was doing a lot of soul-searching back then. I’d spent a long time in 2014 editing the OG Spectrum’s tropes page, tidying it up and working to lend it a sense of cohesion which wasn’t present before.
In hindsight, that’s the first step towards the role I came to occupy on Spectrum in general, isn’t it? Yet I hadn’t ever expected I’d write for the story proper. It wasn’t until TB3, the original co-writer, returned with a new story of his own in the form of Last Train From Oblivion that, before I knew it, I’d got in touch with him via the comments section and we seemed to hit it off. One invitation later to the GoogleDocs for the next chapter of Spectrum, and there I was still expecting to merely nab a guest-writer credit.
That chapter was ‘Training Days: First Month’ and it’s a tale for another time.
Sledge115: Unexpected successors, are we not? Heh. Buckle up, it’s gonna be a long post. Now, without further ado, let us begin with;
Sanguine Meetings and Bloodied Past
Author: Redskin122004
Editors:
DrawDex
Beyond The Horizon
ThatClosetBrony
Sledge115: Redskin wrote this chapter without TB3’s involvement. TB3 was responsible for a lot of the better elements of the early OG Spectrum – including, crucially, the backstory of the Princesses, and their familiar ties. Yes, Cadance and Luna’s familial relationship? His idea.
Canterlot, Equestria; 2nd Year Anno Harmonia; 1 week after the Portal Event
If one were to look upon Princess Celestia at the current moment, someone that knew her well, they would wonder who was the alicorn before them.
Sledge115: Yeah I’ve been wondering about that myself, given how she’s written here.
Celestia had lost almost all of the colors in her mane, reverting back to its natural pink, if only a shade lighter than normal. Her coat, once a pristine white, was now a shade of its former self. Eyes shut tightly in pain as screams, gunfire, and the chanting of the same phrase over and over again echoed through her mind.
J̻͉̟o̢̝̣͓̞i̜͓̠͎͈͉̯n̞̻̳̺̬ͅͅ ̰u̩̘̯̘̦̮̕s̥̩̜͕̭͍!
̜̹̥͇̺͕̺J͔̤̻͍͉̜ͅo͉ị̡͙͙n͇͉͕̜̥̬ ̦̼̗̦̰͝t̢̝̠̬̰h͚͞e͖͉ ̞͇͖̲̣͎h̛e̠̳r̛d̗͙͔̕!̹͡
͝B͎͡ḛ͕̣ͅc̘͎̰̰̫͔o̦̠̣̘m͏e̩̣͢ ͍͈͎̞͚p̷͖̪͍e̸̹̝̗̦̹̭r͓̝͉͎͇̣̻f̗̠͇e͉̥͚͍͎͔̣c͍̬̩̩͖̲ț̺̯͖͚!
̶̻͖̳̹̠͍̤Y̦̺̝̙̣͇̙o͡u͈̘̙̕ ̣̞w̬͈ͅil͕̹̺̻͎͇̖͞l҉ ͏͍̣̙̭̟̞f̛̖͓̲̠i̦̻͉̝͖̠͇nàlḽ͡y҉ ̷̲h͙̥͡a͔v̯̜ḙ̫̺̠ͅ ̲̮ͅą̮ ̪̲̪͚ͅs̳͓̰͢ơ͇͕̣̞͖̺u̟̙ͅl͈̱̳̮͎͞!̪
̩͓̻̮͍̣̖J̼̼͖̫̠o̸̯̰̲ͅi̶̤̹̟͖̺͓̗n̳̞͈̯ ̬̻̪̻̯͡u̠̹ş̠̤͖̮̹͙̤!̨͚͚̥̟͓̟̫
̳̦̙̞J͜o͓̙̼i͕̩͜ṇ͍̪͡ ̤͔̞̞t̺̳h̡͇͎̰̝̺̺e̮ ̱̯̺́h҉͍͍̝̖͉̟̜e̗̘r̨d̹̱͚̟!̼͝
͚̤͚̺̻͙J͎͇O̸̞͓̰̺̬͔͖IN̞̭̹ ̴̭̫̻͈Ṷ̵͙̮̰͕S̴̪͚!̲̦̦͍̣͎̹
͇̯͎̯̭̝͢B̤̥ȨC̖O̫͟M͙͖̩E͚ ̞͈̼P͎̲͕̤̞̣̹E̪̼̹͉̯ͅR̬͕̫̻̜ͅͅF̳̞̩̰͕͎E̟̺̬ͅC̜T͟!̯͘
̛͓̙̩J̶Ò̦̘̝Ḭ̧̙͈͙̠͙̱N̳̮͚̖ ̟͇̻̞͇̰͡T̪̫͕̞H̗̭͙͝E̵̝̮̼͇̹ ̯H̜̹̳͉̼̠̬͟E̞̻̳̫̱͓͖R̺̞̣͕D̟̞̲̼͈̘!̴̤ͅ
VoxAdam: I have no idea how this visual effect is achieved. But note that this is one moment where the story makes itself deliberately illegible.
And, oh yes, Thief was a great game. I refer to the 1999 original by Looking-Glass Studios, not the godawful 2014 reboot. Sorry, I only mention this because reading a ghostly voice utter “Join us now” makes me think how much I’d rather be playing the haunted maze right now.
Sledge115: So here’s a thought, but from hereon in the OG Spectrum, Celestia’s mane remains pink, one reason or another. In the reboot, we’d decided that pink was how it used to be, and how she appears in her little pony form.
Celestia let out a whimper as a shadow fell over her, she barely had time to react when an eagle claw grasped her head, magic pouring through. "Sleep, Celestia. The voices will trouble you no more."
Celestia felt peace wash over, the sounds of chanting and fighting slowly drawing to a quiet note, her eyes gradually closed, her mind shutting down to enjoy the silence and sleep peacefully.
"Why does she suffer? My memories should be but a drop of water in her ocean of memories." One voice filtered through her ears, becoming more muffled as sleep claimed her.
Sledge115: Yes, the story points out that this makes no sense at all–
"She may have more memories, a millennia or two more, but yours are far more powerful and emotional. Her mind doesn’t have the same upbringing and nature your’s does. Your memories are intermingling with her own, but you are hardened by nature, you have seen death as an everyday occurrence, and take it lightly." A second voice answered. Even with her mind slowly shutting down she was still able to hear. "And she doesn't have a guardian to hold back those memories either."
Sledge115: Oh fuck off. Celestia’s mind is that of someone that’s older than one thousand years, which is far, far beyond what a human mind ought to have – Marcus’ age is barely a fraction of hers. How is she taking this so badly?
VoxAdam: So, here’s a bit of context. Due to shenanigans in the chapter when they first met, Celestia and Marcus each imbued of the others’ memories. As a mental protection, both ended up with an inner “guardian” based upon a construct of the other.
Yeah, it’s as daft as it sounds. But what’s worse is that it’s only Celestia who’s ever affected by the trauma of spongeing up someone else’s memories. Why should that be? I’ll give you a moment to consider the reason; it has to do with her and him [sic].
Also worth pointing out, when we see Marcus’ memories, they’re really not all that horrific compared to some of the messed-up stuff OG Spectrum pulls off. Making the depth of Celestia’s trauma come off all the more as your hysterical-woman stereotype.
"Celestia here grew up in a world where everything can be controlled. Death was something to be avoided as much as possible. Fighting was a completely last resort, to cause death was even more so. This world...Is ‘Perfect’.”
“Sounds like you hate it.”
“They still use spears as a main weapon for Mother’s sake! How are they suppose to fight against the Tyrant’s armies like this?!”
Sledge115: Why does he say it like it’s such a bad thing, that fighting was a last resort?
VoxAdam: Watch Apocalypse Now, bub. I’d like to see you take a spear or an arrow to the throat and treat it as a laughing matter.
Sledge115: Well, I used to be an adventurer…
VoxAdam: Get out.
A 'Colt' M1911 pistol.
Modified to a certain degree thanks to Zecora adding something to the gunpowder for more power, an enlarged magazine for more rounds to be fire, and runes etched into the gun itself using 'normal' means. Which meant special ink was used to coat the gun, and not a large amount of crushed crystals.
The use of crystals were used solely for heavy machinery and the defenses.
The gun still retained a large amount of resistance, absorbed magic, and if Celestia was correct in reading the runes, the gun could use said magic to 'enhance' the bullet further by adding a magic coating to the round. This one added pure magic, one that was completely unstable. Which basically meant it exploded once it was destabilized.
Mostly once it hit a target.
VoxAdam: Bit of a tangent, but does this Chekov’s Gun ever fire?
Sledge115: No, but hey, look, a gun advert!
VoxAdam: “Guns don’t kill, ponies do.”
… You know, when you put it like that, it does sound pretty daft.
Celestia continued to look upon Jacob in the picture, tears threatened to pour from her eyes as crushing guilt and sadness slammed into her. She tried to breath, but all that came out was a choking gasp. She could feel it, the memory roaring out from the depths of her mind as she tried to keep it buried, but the emotions that came with it were powerful and crippling.
Celestia barely had a chance to whimper before the memory overtook her.
Sledge115: I’d like to point out that by my personal count, Celestia only cried six times in the show, and five out of six times it was something to do with Luna.
These three are the ones that stood out for me.
VoxAdam: Women be weepy. I’m actually impressed that in the same chapter where Marcus meets Celestia, before the encounter happens, Redskin allowed a small moment to slip through in which Marcus sits down and cries.
Written by TB3, if I’m not mistaken, but for a brief interlude, you get to hope there’s more to this character than an obnoxiously over-powered macho murder-machine.
Jacob is Marcus’ late brother, by the way. I’m not sure why Celestia would care if she didn’t have a bit of Marcus stuck inside her head. The story doesn’t give us much reason to, considering what a non-entity he is.
Sledge115:Oh, yeah. In the following segment, we’re treated to a flashback of Marcus being forced to kill his little brother. I am mostly indifferent these days, for reasons Vox already mentioned, but this sticks out to me;
“THAT HUMAN IS DEAD!” Stalwart seethed in anger as Marcus stumbled to his feet. “MY NAME IS STALWART HEART! I AM THE HUSBAND OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE, STUDENT OF THE RIGHTEOUS AND CARING SUN, QUEEN CELESTIA. ACCEPT YOUR FATE, BROTHER!”
I AM THE HUSBAND OF TWILIGHT SPARKLE
VoxAdam: I see someone went to the J.K. Rowling school of expressing violent emotions.
Sledge115: “Stalwart said calmly”. Anyways, first off, the Imperial Twilight marrying Stalwart Heart is hilariously petty and reeks of main character syndrome, because Stalwart Heart at the time was literally just the brother of the main character, and a member of a human leader’s bodyguard detail. That’s it.
Secondly, this is heresy, because Twilight only has room in her heart for Luna.
VoxAdam: Just get him started and this’ll turn into a thread about how to write Twilight as well as Celestia.
Sledge115: Oh, I have so much to say about how uncaring Luna was towards Twilight in the Boston chapter, damn it.
VoxAdam: Anyway, I felt like using this opportunity to pinpoint something in this scene which has nothing to do with characterisation, but sticks in my craw nonetheless for what the story is trying to pull;
"The President has just ordered a 'Burn House' Protocol." The marine gave a shiver of fear. "We have twenty minutes to evac."
VoxAdam: See, this is slightly elaborated on elsewhere in the story, but what happens is that Washington DC gets written off, with the American government ordering a nuclear strike on the city to sterilise the area.
Why? Were vital documents on the verge of falling into enemy hands? Were the invaders about to seize control of the three branches of government? Was the Newfoal infestation deemed at risk of turning into a super-spreader event by officials who didn’t understand the nature of the contamination?
No reason ever given, other than Washington was about to fall. It’s ridiculous, seeing as the story will show other major American cities under siege by the “Conversion Bureau” Equestrians, with no mention of resorting to the nuclear option.
The nuking of DC exists solely to elicit a visceral reaction within the readership, much like that moment when you crawl out of an unidentified bunker in Modern Warfare 2 and emerge to find the Washington Monument wreathed by fire. It’s shamelessly manipulative.
Sledge115: I think it’s funnier to think that someone got trigger-happy and jumped the gun. Where’s the Giant, Mansley?
VoxAdam: The flashback ends, Celestia is feeling sympathy for what Marcus has been through and–
“Yeah, but I only allow one mare to throw herself at me.” Marcus gulped as he hit the wall. Celestia gave a soft sigh in annoyance before reaching up and hugging, causing him to stiffen up with this action.
Sledge115: So, Celestia basically assaults Marcus to give him a hug (huh?), but this line annoys me more than it probably should for reasons I can’t articulate very well.
VoxAdam: Later in the story, Marcus will mention that Lyra proposed a foursome together with Bonbon and Cheerilee. Yeah, my apologies for putting that mental image into your heads. Interestingly, Marcus also claims that, while flattered, he turned the offer down because he wasn’t comfortable with it.
It’s a classic sexist excuse; “I can’t help it if women throw themselves at me.”
“I’m sorry.” Celestia voice was filled with conviction and sorrow. “I’m sorry for what is happening to your people. I’m sorry I attacked you without cause.” Marcus attempted to open his mouth, but Celestia continues on. “I know you attacked me, you had every right to-”
Marcus pushed her away, grimacing a bit at the thought of being hugged by the Alicorn, unable to get rid of the image of the insane being from his world. “Hold up there. What I did wasn’t right. If I tried that anywhere else, the Marine Corp would’ve kicked me out, arrested me, and buried me in the deepest hole they could find. And that is only if they didn’t shoot me first.”
“Given the circumstances.” Celestia took several steps away. “I believe you can be forgiven.”
Sledge115: Sigh. God damn it. See, the story even spells out that what Marcus did – attack innocents – was a shitty thing to do despite the circumstances and would have gotten him arrested. Hell, he attacked Celestia knowing she wasn’t her evil counterpart. But then Celestia goes out of her way to absolve him of it with nothing more than a pat on the back.
Fuck off.
VoxAdam: Did we mention that Celestia’s “evil” counterpart is only evil because she’s possessed by the real evil? No?
It will never bother the story that the evil Celestia isn’t acting of her own free will. Every account will be of how she’s a murderous maniac who shouldn’t be pitied and can only hope for death to release her soul.
Marcus’ backstory also has him remorselessly shoot a pregnant woman, incidentally.
Sledge115: The story loves to do this. That is, beat you on the head that the Empire and its cohorts are both beyond saving and yet also brainwashed. But please don’t mind that, enjoy the show of seeing their brains blown out.
“After seeing just a small portion, I realized just how easy my ponies and I… No, all of Equus truly have it. You are a good person Marcus Renee, a good man doing what he can for his people and forced to make decisions that would cripple anypony else in this world.”
Sledge115: kill me
Marcus fell silent, eyes wide in surprise as Princess Celestia bowed to him, a small amount of tears being shed from her eyes. “Those memories will forever stay with me.”
“Get up.” Marcus’ voice was soft, but firm as he knelt down to help her back to her hooves. “Someone of your position shouldn’t be bowing to a lowly jarhead like me.”
Celestia only gave him a smile, but nodded her head as she stood up. "Very well, but it will not change my stance on the matter. Besides, an apology is in order, not just for attacking you, but because of this."
VoxAdam: Elsewhere again, Marcus scoffs at the idea of him apologising for attacking Celestia and the Mane Six, because they looked identical to his sworn enemies. Double standard, much?
You’ve also got to love the false modesty. Marcus is the author’s self-insert. The author did not need to write a scene where Princess Celestia bows to his self-insert.
It isn’t that I think Celestia would lack the humility. But the author could sure do with some humble pie.
Sledge115: Agreed, on all points. We resume with news that Changelings are arriving in Canterlot. Naturally, Celestia goes to meet them and then–
Celestia had barely landed when Luna appears beside her, dark blue magic shifting and forming into the Alicorn. Celestia shook her head at the rather disturbing display, ‘And Luna always wondered why ponies felt uneasy around her.’
Sledge115: This isn’t the worst offense, but the story has the tendency to take an aside and have characters comment on how weird this or that is in a meta sense. If that makes sense.
It’s rather MCU-esque.
"Sister, the guards have informed Us of the situation." Luna tilted her head quickly, a soft pop echoing from her neck indicating that she was loosening herself up for a fight. “After today’s mess, We have a need to put somepony into the ground rather forcibly.”
Celestia sighed a bit at Luna’s rather aggressive stance.
Sledge115: Later, the story tells us that Luna was meant to be the calmer one.
VoxAdam: How anyone could watch Friendship Is Magic and come to this conclusion about Celestia and Luna’s dynamic boggles the mind.
Celestia couldn’t help but give Luna some ribbing for her speech. “And all this We and Us has me confused, Luna. Am I taking part of this or not?" Celestia teased Luna somewhat. " Have you not been working on your speech?”
Luna’s ears flattened against her skull, her face flushed with embarrassment. “I have been working on it, Sister, but you cannot expect me to change dialects and speech so fast.”
Sledge115: This is one of a few times that the Royal Sisters actually act like sisters who care for one another, since later Luna is mostly by herself.
VoxAdam: Cherish the small things while you can.
Chrysalis couldn’t help make a kissy face at the angry unicorn. “Oh Shiny, is this how you repay me for the short few nights we shared together in bed before the wedding?”
Shining Armor paled instantly, before his entire form shook in a combination of disgust and anger. “You RAPED me!”
Chrysalis scoffed at this, rolling her eyes at the fuming stallion. “I did no such thing.”
“YOU LIE! YOU RUINED MY WEDDING AND PLAYED THE PART OF MY WIFE FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG!”
“Yes, I shared a bed with you.” Chrysalis held up a hoof, which flare with green magic, converting it into a minotaur hand, ticking off several points. Many of the Royal Guards became extremely uncomfortable seeing something that should not have been on a pony-like body suddenly appear there. “Yes, we had a heavy kissing and petting before the wedding, all three days of it. Yes, I did mentally shut you down during the wedding. And yes, I did ruin your wedding. But never once did I ‘share’ myself with you.”
VoxAdam: Oh, boy. This scene.
Sledge115: Fuck’s sake.
VoxAdam: Welcome to OG Spectrum’s other big example of how not to write a female character. Queen Chrysalis of the Changelings.
Sledge115: I’d also like to point out that heavy kissing and petting someone who is under mind-control still counts as sexually assaulting them. So here we have the story earnestly trying to convince you that Chrysalis wasn’t that bad, while also showing that she really isn’t good at all. Which brings us to the next point.
“But- but!” Shining spluttered at this, his eyes wide at what she said. “But the night before the wedding!?”
“A nice dinner, a large amount of high class wine, and a nifty little spell.” Chrysalis couldn’t help but give a small laugh at the look on Shining’s face. “I have standards Captain. You should be fortunate that I am not like changelings of old.”
Sledge115: Sigh. I’m not exaggerating when I say Chrysalis was a critical reason why the OG Spectrum fell apart. Red didn’t take it too well when we started writing Chrysalis as closer to the cackling villain that she, y’know, canonically was.
Pay close attention to this. The story has a certain tendency to, for lack of a better word, whitewash a few characters to make them better than they are in canon by explaining away their canonically vile deeds as a misunderstanding.
This is not the worst case of it in this chapter.
Also, just saying, Chrysalis left Cadance alone in the caverns beneath Canterlot with no food or water for what seemed like days. Not that Red ever cared about Cadance, since she disappears from the narrative for a long time.
VoxAdam: But what this scene doesn’t consider worth explaining away is that Chrysalis still mind-controlled Shining, even if she didn’t go all the way. Keep in mind, this is an anti-Conversion Bureau story, where the Conversion is portrayed as a literally soul-rending form of brainwashing.
Sledge115: Also, when it was brought up that Chrysalis mind-controlled Lyra in canon, Red didn’t take it too well either, if I recall correctly.
VoxAdam: He did not. It was the next-to-last straw before the whole of the old Team Spectrum split apart. Fake news, eh.
Sledge115: Ugh. We resume with the big and monumental reveal that Changelings have infiltrated Equestrian society for quite some time;
“Please, Shiny. You couldn’t find a changeling even if they were right in front of you.” Chrysalis taunted him, giggling at his fuming face. “In fact, let me show you how idiotic and pointless your ‘Search for changelings’ has been.”
Before Shining Armor could react, Clever Ace landed before him, his wings flaring out as he stood before Shining Armor. Shining open his mouth to speak, but died in his throat as Clever was consume in changeling magic, revealing Clever to be a changeling all along. Shouts of surprise raised from behind him as he turn to see several changelings rising from the ranks of his soldiers and make their way to their Queen.
VoxAdam: Only time this little twist is ever brought up. I cannot fathom that it has any purpose other than to make the Equestrians look dumb… founded.
Shining opened his mouth, but Chrysalis kept going, her voice becoming haughty as she spoke. “The shield was impressive, but after finding out that my changelings living within the city remained where they were stationed at, I realized that it was only geared toward those that were actively attacking others or had malicious intent towards the citizens of Canterlot. The changelings living in the city had no desire to harm or enslave, only to keep their heads down until my foalishness was over and done with.”
Sledge115: Queen Chrysalis, everyone. The type of person to acknowledge her faults. Remember, this is the same character who outright rejected an offer of redemption and never, ever repented all the way to the end.
VoxAdam: And here’s a potentially controversial take.
As a part and parcel of its ingrained jingoism, OG Spectrum loves to occasionally inform the reader that the American military was motivated into action by 9/11. Now, the events of a cartoon such as Friendship is Magic could never be directly compared to a great national tragedy. But Chrysalis is still the mastermind behind, essentially, a terrorist attack on a capital city. Remember when Washington DC was nuked to stop an invasion?
The story will never make such a comparison, because ponies getting hurt doesn’t matter.
Chrysalis turned her head away from him, opening a single eye to look at him in a rather condescending way. “You should also rethink you and your wife’s strategy in using love as a power source against a group of beings that eat it like candy. I managed to siphon off a large portion of the power before I was launched. Could of ended pretty badly for you-Ouch!” Something had come flying from the chariot, soundly hitting Chrysalis in the back of the skull. The object had enough force to rebound off, bounce against the wall of magic, and hit her a second time in the snout. Chrysalis yelped and fell on her haunches, rubbing her snout from the impromptu attack.
Everypony watched as a small chalice rolled across the ground before finally coming to a rest against the shield Shining Armor has summoned.
Sledge115: Three things. One, the story pointlessly undermines Cadance and Shining Armor’s moment of triumph by having Chrysalis claim she siphoned off the blast before she was launched.
You can argue this is Chrysalis trying to save face, but given Red’s opinions, I don’t think he was thinking that far ahead.
Second, this scene introduces a single-purpose character so bad, so awful, that we collectively decided against reintroducing him in the reboot. He was that unpleasant to write.
Third, and this drives me McFucking insane-
Could’ve. It’s could’ve. Not could of. These two are not interchangeable. Fuck.
VoxAdam: Yeah…
You see, Queen Chrysalis in OG Spectrum represents an odd crossroads between two conflicting impulses for the story’s mentality. On the one hand, following the trend of canon villains needing to be good because Celestia is bad, there is the aforementioned attempt to whitewash her misdeeds, no matter how poorly it stands up to scrutiny. But on the other, the story finds itself running into a problem. Chrysalis is a female in authority, and other than the single exception of Lyra Heartstrings, females cannot be deferred to with the same respect.
I’m not kidding, every notable female character in OG Spectrum is depicted in terms of being a mother, a lover or a source of male lust. While thankfully absent in this specific chapter, it’ll be hinted more than once that Celestia’s got an issue with being hormonally repressed.
Sledge115: Sigh. I don’t know if I had this story in mind when I decided to write Celestia as asexual and celibate in the new Spectrum, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I subconsciously was.
VoxAdam: In any case, getting back to Chrysalis. As a solution to a problem which existed solely in the author’s mind, OG Spectrum provides us with this sorry excuse for a character;
All the ponies blinked in surprise as a rather decrepit old changeling stepped out from chariot, huffing in annoyance at the Queen sitting on the ground. “Chrysalis, stop trying to antagonize the poor fool. I can’t believe I came all the way from the Badlands to see what you were up to. You are such a fool sometimes! You wanted to help the Hive?! You caused anarchy instead!”
“Mythuselon!” Chrysalis rounded on him, only to get poked in the snout rather roughly.
“Quiet you. You already cause enough trouble as it is.” The newly revealed Mythuselon shook his head, unintelligible mumbling coming from his mouth.
“I was trying to help my people!” Chrysalis hissed in anger, baring her fangs at the elder Changeling, whose only response was to slap her across the face, causing her to whine in pain.
“I am five hundred and sixty-seven years old, Chrysalis. I have seen your Great grandmother give birth to your entire line. I was called forth to watch each rising queen, take care of them, guide them, and if so, stop them from making a foal of themselves. So when reports of you being hit with an unknown spell was reported to the Hive, I had to expel a large amount of magic just to displace to your location.” Mythuselon grumbled, sitting front of the larger Changeling queen and starting to reprimand her on the spot, in front of dozens of ponies holding weapons without a single care. “Imagine my surprise to see you setting yourself up in the Everfree forest, planning on attacking the Elements of Harmony.”
“What.” Shining Armor, Celestia, and Luna glared at the Changeling Queen, who ignored them in favor of scowling at the elder changeling before her.
“It would have worked!” Chrysalis crossed her forelegs together, sticking out her lips and pouting like there was no tomorrow, sticking her snout in the air. Mythuselon growled and punched her slightly in the gut, causing her to wince at the light blow.
“Yes, just like the wedding idea that was planned for months, but you had to go greedy. One of the ponies saw you, unsure on what they were looking at, they informed Celestia, forcing her to raise the entire city defenses to defeat any subterfuge…” Mythuselon took a deep breath in, flared his wings open, and flew up to her face. “INSTEAD, YOU INVADED ALL OF CANTERLOT! NOT ONLY DID YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE SEEN, BUT YOU IMPERSONATED THE BRIDE! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILD?!”
“I DID WHAT WAS NECESSARY TO KEEP THE HIVE ALIVE!”
“NO YOU DID NOT! YOU GOT GREEDY WITH THE GROOM’S LOVE AND CAME UP WITH AN INVASION PLAN HALF BAKED OFF POWER!”
VoxAdam: “I will tell you what you and I already know, for the readers’ benefit and because I couldn’t think of how else to convey it.”
Sledge115: There’s that canon-bashing again, for some reason. You can tell it’s bashing from the way the narrative takes a pause to let the latest mouthpiece for the author to spell out why canon is dumb and stupid.
I fucking hate deconstructions.
Also, Mythuselon continues to demonstrate why we decided never, ever to touch his character again. He literally exists to bash Chrysalis.
Celestia turned to see Luna march up to the two yelling changelings, her eyes wide as she realized what she was about to do. ‘Luna...No!’
“Silence! Thou are in the presence of the Royal Sisters! As they say in these odd days, ‘Shut thy wailing, wenches!’” Luna looked awfully proud of herself as the Changelings stopped yelling at one another to stare at her for her use of the RCV.
Instead of fear or cowardice, they scowled at the Lunar Princess with anger, their horns flaring brightly. “SHUT UP!”
Luna barely managed a look of shock before she was engulfed in changeling magic, and vanished from view. Both Changelings huffed once before turning back and proceeded to yell at one another once more.
“Princess?” Shining Armor stared where Luna once stood. Celestia closed her eyes, her horn glowing before she cut the magic.
“Luna is fine, Shining Armor.” Celestia rolled her eyes, “She is currently swimming in the Galloping sea. She will be here momentarily, if a little wet.”
Sledge115:
Celestia, they just teleported your sister away. Without her consent.
I– Why the fuck are you treating this so casually?
Most of all, and I cannot stress this enough, again, why did you let them? Fucking– Chrysalis, who has been nothing but a piece of shit towards your adopted niece, your student, and your nephew-in-law? Why the ever living fuck would you let them teleport your beloved sister?
What the fuck?
VoxAdam: Celestia overreacts or underreacts depending on whether this story wants to shut her up.
“Ha!” A voice barked out above them, Celestia sighed as she saw Discord sitting on a pink cloud, eating popcorn, watching the Changelings arguing. “I loved that. I should’ve done that to you two back then. Getting thrown in the ocean sounds like a pain the flank! All those mane products you’ll have to use to get your manes back to normal...”
Sledge115: Oh fuck off.
VoxAdam: Well, at least Discord mentioned mane products. That’s humorous in retrospect, knowing a short story you’d later write, Sledge.
Sledge115: Heh.
Celestia couldn’t help but stare at the human in confusion with his statement, before she remembered the memory that blasted into her mind several minutes before. He had only seen her when she was sick and dying. Marcus tilted his head, examining the Changeling Queen before smirking slightly. “Hmm. Shame really, I would of taken her out for a dinner and movie if I wasn’t taken myself. Maybe she needs male company to keep her calm. You know anyone?”
Sledge115: Sexist, much? Also, heteronormativity, bleh.
Marcus gave her a slightly curious stare, before sniffing the air and smelling the scent of sea salt emanating off of the alicorn. Discord chuckled, giving Luna an amused look before tossing a kernel up into the air, heating it up in mid flight, and opening his mouth to enjoy the snack. His eyes widened in surprise as the popcorn bucket he was holding was ripped from his claws and dumped on his head, causing him to shout by the childish attack.
Sledge115: Childish it may be, but it’s nowhere near what this version of Discord deserves.
VoxAdam: Funny, that. Again I’m referencing events of later chapters, but when Chrysalis is written sassing Discord after a far bigger misfortune has befallen him – no prizes for guessing who wrote that – Discord’s response is to slap her backside.
In-character, maybe, but no less sketchy if it’s meant to be seen as appropriate.
Sledge115: Also, Red wrote that slapping part in response to Vox’s writing of Chrysalis. The joys of co-writing.
Luna huffed once, blowing her damp mane out of her face, scowling at the still shouting Changelings with contempt. “I despise them now more than ever. Please Sister, allow me to show them proper decorum.”
“No no, I got it.” Marcus couldn’t help but smile as he walked towards the two shouting changelings.
Sledge115: No, you twat, let Luna do it.
For a moment, Celestia waited for Marcus to start yelling; maybe even try and get between the two, but all he did was stand there and wait.
And yet, it was working.
Both Chrysalis and Mythuselon slowly lowered their voices, turning to look at the biped standing next to them. The new creature was smiling warmly at the two.
“What is he doing?” Luna asked; her eyes widening as Chrysalis’ eyes began to close, humming happily. Even her wings fluttered slightly.
“Oh, that’s smart.” Discord said with his head already free from the bowl, giving Luna a small glare before turning back to the human in action.
“What?” Celestia asked, turning to look at the draconequus with confusion.
“He is literally pouring out love.” Discord mused out loud. “And Chrysalis is literally drinking it up.”
“Why did you stop? Ouch!” Chrysalis nearly threw herself at the strange looking biped, only for Mythuselon to yank on her tail to keep her grounded.
“Oh no, not again!” Mythuselon growled at Chrysalis. “I will not allow you to throw yourself like that anymore, nor cause another incident!”
VoxAdam: “Do you get it? I can’t help it if women throw themselves at me!”
Sledge115: Of course they do, he’s the self-insert. We resume with the Changelings in Canterlot Palace and… god damn it, here it comes.
“You preach of Harmony and equalness, and yet in the early days of your rule, you cast us to the cold, deeming us too dangerous to be around!” Chrysalis seethed. “Or do you not remember my ancestors coming up to you, allowing themselves to be seen before all, only for you to cast your hoof and demand that we leave your land or suffer the consequences?!”
“I…” Celestia didn’t know how to respond to the outburst. She remembered, long ago when she first rose to power over the newly named country of Equestria, the changelings came to her and explained their existence. Her advisers had a large amount of suspicion towards the changelings, and begged Celestia to cast them out; if not for them, then for her growing sister Luna.
“When Discord cast you and your sister aside from Equestria, we had a speck of hope that opening up to refugees would reveal to them the lies you have told them. Instead, we were attacked; deemed his minions, only here to sow chaos upon them.”
“Queen Chrysalis.” Marcus’s voice broke her rant, her eyes wide as she looked at the human who placed himself between them. She hadn’t gotten used to his presence yet. “Enough.”
“But-”
“Enough! You answered the call, did you not?” Marcus voice became hard as steel, his eyes glaring into the green orbs of the royal changeling.
Chrysalis stood for a moment and then sigh. “Yes, yes I did.”
VoxAdam: Yeah, that old chestnut, the fanon that Changelings are an oppressed minority, heartlessly cast out by Equestria, with Chrysalis a ruler trying to do whatever she needs to keep her people fed.
This wasn’t yet formally discredited by the show at the time OG Spectrum was written, but it never held water in the first place. You’d have to be willing to believe the worst of Celestia, for Chrysalis’ actions to seem in any way justified. Which, as amply demonstrated, this story very much is, yet it’s also not very good at making Chrysalis look sympathetic.
Sledge115: I’d also like to point out that this headcanon originated entirely from one line Chrysalis said when she proclaimed that it’s up to her to find food for her subjects. That’s literally it. It’s somehow conflated into Chrysalis being misunderstood, when in private this is what she sings;
No, I do not love the groom
In my heart there is no room
But I still want him to be all mine
She’s vile. She wanted to keep Shining around as a slave. You may think I’m conflating things from a single verse, but refer to the above.
"My people are being enslaved and dying." Marcus began, his voice filled with anger. "And I know you two don't like each other, but you have to put that shit aside. Because if you don't, that whore is going to win and mankind is going to be erased from existence."
Sledge115: Okay, can I take an aside to ask why exactly is the Queen called a whore? Is there a specific reason? I know I’m being nitpicky as hell but, you know, just curious.
Also, Marcus somehow being the paragon of reason, because of course he is.
VoxAdam: There are a lot of gender-specific slurs like this in here.
“What I did,” Discord started, walking up to the nearest wall and beginning to walk down to the floor, “was insure that she didn’t cause any havoc while we prepare. Only I can cause havoc, a being that lacks enslaving the world and killing billions as an insane ideal. While you were making a statement crater the size of Canterlot, I was waiting for the right moment to cut the connection and erase the trail.”
Celestia frowned at this. She had a feeling that there was more to the tale than what Discord was letting on. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t get it, do you?” Discord growled as he brought himself up to full height. “She was searching for the one being that could break the morale of humanity itself if he was turned. As much as the good Colonel here likes to deny it, he became the poster boy for humanity. He, along with a scant few others, were the shining beacons in the darkness. He more than the rest of them, seeing as he started the process that led to the rise of the PHL. The moment she found you, there is little doubt in my mind that she would have swooped in and taken you out before you even had a chance to warn the others.”
“Yeah, swooping is bad.” Marcus muttered out loud, Discord nodding in agreement with the small statement.
“She was trying to convince you to side with her in a small effort to keep herself from wasting time on a pointless battle. She’s insane, not stupid. If worse came to worse, she would have killed you, taken your power, possibly subdued Luna and corrupted the Elements like she did to her own; the more crazy elements, the better for her. Then she would come for Marcus.” Discord enforced his statement by pointing a claw at Marcus. “With the Commander at the helm of the new Equestrian forces, humanity would give up all hope.”
Sledge115: Sigh. Fuck’s sake, now where do we begin…
VoxAdam: … Y’know.
In the early days of ponyfiction, the writer called Chatoyance was at the centre of attention in the Conversion Bureau subgenre. The brand definition of love-it-or-hate-it. While Chatoyance may not have created the Conversion Bureau, she is credited with lending the subgenre its momentum, during those early days. A reader might either feel drawn to her work, be it for purposes of escapism, or agreement with her philosophy, or to see what the buzz was about. Alternatively, a reader might have no love for Chatoyance’s work at all. Thus a host of stories emerged as a sub-genre in their own right, responding to and rejecting the philosophy held up by Chatoyance’s work, which its detractors claimed to be misanthropic and canon-defiling.
It should come as no surprise that Spectrum, the original Other Side of The Spectrum, positioned itself in the latter category. To this day, you might run through a few story lists, and still see it make the top rankings amongst anti-Conversion stories. By no means is it the only one. RatedPonystar’s Negotiations and the ‘verse which spun off from it remain popular, much to my own distaste, but that’s neither here no there.
Another popular entry is BronySteel’s Ten Minutes, wherein the last unconverted human is counting down the final ten minutes before a doomsday device goes off, which will take out the “Conversion Bureau” Celestia who was lured to his spot, an ultimate act of defiance. It was a contest winner, I recall.
Of course, Chatoyance did not like this. Infamously, she’d go on to write her own response, Ten Minutes: Aftermath, a spiteful piece that systematically undid the outcome of Ten Minutes, so that Celestia could be the undisputed victor once again, as ever in her work.
I’ve spent all this time, eating up space on this history lesson, because this– this whole passage, feels like nothing so much as Redskin pulling the same stunt on his own story.
During the chapter ‘Monsters’, TB3 had written a meeting between the Celestias, contacting each other across universes by an unknown mechanism. In a moment of reaching heights that shall never again by equalled by her in this thing, Princess Celestia delivers a defiant speech to her evil counterpart, declaring that she and all Equestria. will stand alongside humanity.
… So why, I ask you, why did Redskin feel compelled to so completely undermine it? Could he not permit Princess Celestia to have this one moment? Was he driven to humiliate, to torment her at every turn, diminish any and all accomplishments of hers, leave her with no dignity whatsoever?
I’ve rarely been so disgusted by a blatant retcon in my life. And the only thing which shames me more is that I somehow missed this on past readings.
I must take a break. From this point, Sledge, you’re on your own.
Sledge115: He’ll be back, I’m sure. But still… oh dear.
Anyways, the Changelings pledge to join the war effort despite the bad blood and, ah, fuck, here we go. The Discord rant.
Sigh.
Celestia could only watch as they walked down the halls, her left cheek twitching as Discord laughed at her. He spoke, “So out comes the past. It was quite a spectacle to see your past decision come back and haunt you.”
“I was young.” Celestia started, but Discord only gave a bark of laughter.
“No, you were stupid, and you still are.” Discord stood next to her, raising an eyebrow before floating off the ground. “Scribble had told you countless times to leave them once your time was up, but you refused.”
“I had to lead them because you were-” Celestia scowled, but took a step back when Discord rounded on her, baring his fangs.
“I was doing my job!” Discord growled quietly. “I had to make sure everything was still running perfectly, but you were throwing a wrench in the process.”
Sledge115: Ugh. Here we go. The big rant where Discord reveals that in OG Spectrum, he’s totally good.
Fuck, I hate this.
“Dozens of innocent ponies were dying because of the storms you brought, the wild animals you introduced killed many more, and the very changing of the night and day, where you set the sun and rose the moon in the middle of the day, was tearing their minds apart! It was chaos!” Celestia defended herself. “That caused the Wendigos to prey on them once they began to blame each other for the troubles that were caused! I was there Discord, I saw you bring the storm the day the Wendigos appeared!”
Celestia knew she was in for a great amount of yelling when Discord stopped flying, stood up straight, and looked her dead in the eyes.
Sledge115: There’s something off with this, like Celestia – Princess Celestia – is bracing herself for being yelled at by a parent or what-have-you.
Also, take a note on what Celestia says here, because then–
“And that’s how it should have been! ” Discord bared his teeth at the alicorn, angry flames dancing in his eyes. “What do you think they learned afterwards? They learned not to stand outside in the middle of storms and watch the beautiful wind, clouds, water, and lightning in a glorious and natural show, to be wary of animals that could gnaw on their innards, eventually learning to tame them, and they would’ve learned about the true nature of their problems with true thought on their part. They were not to expect a magical princess bringing wisdom of the ancients and making everything candy coated for them to frolic about on! They would’ve learned about the nature of everything! To make things themselves! But where are they now?! They can’t tie their shirt without asking if it’s alright!”
Sledge115: –Discord not only justifies his actions, but he also claims it was for the greater good.
Remember. This is Discord. Who brainwashed the Mane Six for reasons and who canonically immediately took over Equestria the moment he was released. And this story wants us to believe that he was secretly good all along?
Bullshit.
“They can still think Discord.”
“Do they really? Oh, woe is me, to try and understand your flawless judgment. I mean, just look at your standing army! You have them equipped with...spears!” Discord drolled on, turning his head to the side and faked a gag. “They question nothing! Trouble? You resolve without an effort. Risks? Why worry, the princess knows. Secrets of the past? What secrets of the past? The princess would never lie, so why think further? Why try anything new, when the one proven to know better is in charge? The ponies are going to be stagnant once you reach your limit, which is nearing, and you know it!”
“I taught them to use their abilities to the fullest!’ Celestia scowled, leaning in close to his face.
“Taught? Taught?!” Discord stared at her for a few seconds before letting out a cruel bark of laughter. “You didn’t teach them a single bucking thing. You learned from Scribble, who taught you to make use of your abilities so you could make yourself comfortable in your duties as the Sun Stones spread across the world began to lose their powers. You held their hooves and showed them how to do everything! They didn’t learn, they copied! They would have learned on their own, they would have been able to stand on their own hooves, and they would have been able to make peace with the various species of Equus! For Mother’s sake, the Earth ponies still believe they can only help with plants!”
Sledge115: This is blatantly false, by the way. It’s easy to disprove Discord’s argument by pointing out that, in the very first episode of the show, Celestia sent Twilight to learn about friendship. Why doesn’t Celestia bring this up? Who fucking knows. In fact, if you read through the whole rant, you’ll note Celestia barely ever offers any counter-argument. A classic writing tactic when you want your preferred character to ‘win’ the argument.
Also, an army that hasn’t seen war in some time would have spears as weapons. Because they don’t need any better.
A thousand years of peace is a hell of an achievement, yet why the fuck is Discord portraying this as a bad thing?
Also, just saying, it’s a borderline meme in the fandom that Celestia tasks her ponies to do things she can’t be bothered doing (not that I agree with the meme), but the author here seems convinced of the exact opposite.
Discord was fuming; he looked as if he was passing through all the points of his argument he had been building up in his many years of lonely thinking. “They would know how to keep peace, and they would have continued their existence no matter how many generations would have gone by! Now, the one species that come to us is one that you casted out as dangerous not even a decade into your rule!!”
“It was a mistake-” Celestia started, only for Discord to snap his fingers and cause her to lose her voice.
Sledge115: This asshole forcibly silenced Celestia and we’re expected to side with him. Remember, we only have his word to take at face value in this fucking mess of an unhinged rant. As a matter of fact, literally none of the shit he spews out has any backing in the story until this very second. I didn’t sign up for this shit.
I’m going to quote the following segment verbatim, by the way. This is the pinnacle of the story painting Celestia as an incompetent dingleberry for reasons I literally can’t understand.
“Everything you ever did was a mistake! The moment you said that you could do more and that Scribble was wrong was the moment you shoved all the things Mother taught you down the river! Not only that, you took Luna away with you, not even giving her a chance to learn on her own! You listened to the haughty unicorns who could barely perform magic instead of the being that brought you into existence!”
“Calm down, Discord.” Celestia managed to throw off the spell Discord cast on her, trying hard to keep the angry draconquus from exploding.
“Calm?! I’m perfectly calm! I’m just dandy! I mean, it’s not as if the grand plan of my mother was destroyed by the one bucking pony that she trusted to keep the burning ball of flaming death moving across the sky!” Discord seethed, his breathing heavy as he tried his hardest to not blow up the hallway. “And the ponies at their earliest forms, when they first walked this world long ago, the ponies that poor Scribble took so long to make, are mere foals to what she pictured. And now Mother’s eldest son is thought by those creatures as a monster who wants nothing but their destruction! I am the personification of what calm would be in my situation!”
“You were dangerous, uncontrollable.” Celestia whispered, no longer wanting to fight. This fight was bringing back all the bad memories.
“Everything is dangerous; everything is without control. Anything contrary is an illusion. At least I knew what they were going to become because of it,” Discord scowled, before snorting at her. “And besides, after you ‘appeared’, I wasn’t going after the ponies, I was going after you and Luna. Why do you think I spent so much time here and not in the whole world as I was supposed to? At least the other species have developed as planned, if not a little misguided by your influence. There was a reason as to why everything was so goofy and not a complete anarchy-filled gorefest. I wanted your attention; I wanted you to focus on me and away from the ponies so they could ‘grow up’ without your influence.”
“I had to stop you.” Celestia only gave the smallest of small whispers, but it was loud in the quiet halls.
“Well. You did. How much good did that achieve? Oh...that’s right.” Discord snapped his claws as he pretended to remember something important. “You broke into Scribble’s vault to find Mother’s own personal notes of all the good things, of all of Harmony, to stop Chaos, to stop me. Bet you were devastated to see me turn to stone instead of thousands of little pieces. Also, how is Scribble doing? Oh, she doesn’t speak to you anymore? What a shame that is.”
Celestia didn’t want to continue fighting. She attempted to walk away from Discord, only to have him appear in front of her. “Ohhoho, you are not getting off that easy. I have been holding all your imprudent nonsense for all this time and now you are going to listen to it.”
Sledge115: We have always been at war with Eastasia. Celestia bad, Discord good.
I can’t believe I made it past this point in the story the first time I read it. Fuck.
I’m running out of words to articulate just how thoroughly dogshit this whole fucking scene is.
“Canterlot was under a complete tyranny, under your control, when you cast me and Luna out! When we came with an army to cast you out, you corrupted Sombra with your chaos! It was you who caused the most damage!” Celestia screamed at him, eyes filled with tears as she remembered fighting in Canterlot against all the ponies fighting in the name of Chaos. It was soon followed by Sombra’s descent into madness a few years later.
Discord stared at the crying Alicorn and couldn’t contain himself any longer.
He laughed.
He laughed hard and strong, tears going down his eyes as he raised a paw seeking mercy. “Oh, ha-ha-ha haaa! That was funny. Please... I beg you, no more stories of a past only you can perceive!”
Sledge115: Oh fuck off.
“It’s not funny, Discord.” Celestia shoved her hoof into his chest, he stood strong with a smirk on his face.
Sledge115: There’s something awfully juvenile about this.
The following is quite extensively awful, so again, I’ll quote it verbatim to demonstrate the kind of bullshit we’re dealing with here.
“It’s funny because I didn’t do anything of the sort.” Discord’s smile got a little wider as Celestia’s frown grew. “Why in the world would I rule over a capital I was trying so hard to kick you out of, only to rebel against my own rule? Well, now that I think about it, that kind of sounds like me, but I didn’t want Canterlot, and I sure as Tartarus didn’t want to rule over it! I don’t even know this Sombra you speak of, but it sounds like he just went mad with power.”
To Celestia, it felt like ice water was just thrown on her coat. “But Blueblood-”
“Blueblood?” Discord blinked at the name, his mood considerably improved before snapping his claws in remembrance of the unicorn. “The one who called himself ‘The Voice of Chaos’ Blueblood? That idiot?”
Celestia nearly lost her voice at the next words that came from Discord mouth. “I never even talked to anypony in this castle, I was never even in the castle for more than a few minutes. As a matter of fact, this is the first time I walk these halls without six mares and an old acquaintance shouting at me.”
“But...but the dictations you gave out! The absolute rules you told Blueblood to spout off to the ponies of Equestria! The absolute anarchy you spread across the entire land!” Celestia was trying to breath but the words just kept coming. The things she knew about the war between herself and Luna against Discord was becoming blurred with uncertainty.
“Celestia. Did you think for a moment, just for a moment, that maybe the pony was... mad? Or even better, that he was trying to fool others into believing him so he could rule with an iron hoof under my name? Ponies are not far from being evil, even under your ‘good’ rule.” Discord couldn’t help but lean in close to hear Celestia’s answer.
“I know ponies are not far from being cruel, but those ponies-”
“Were pure evil?” Discord shook his head. “Ponies were made to be natural, Celestia, and some of them were meant to be-”
The last words he said might as well have killed Celestia for what they made her feel.
“-chaotic.”
“No! Blueblood supplied us information at great risk to himself about what your forces-” Celestia tried to reason for this action; blame Discord for it.
“Forces? What 'forces'? I was always alone in my fights with you and your 'armies'. I’ve told you once, and it looks like I’ll have to tell you twice. I was never in this castle and I never 'ruled' anything. My focus was you, to punish you for what you were doing. For what you did against Scribble’s and Mother’s plans for this world.” Discord leaned in close. “Turns out your ponies are not a good as you think they are, and look, you even allowed his family line into royalty with his…’contribution’ in the ‘war’ against me, with the current one being as evil, if slightly more greedy, than the first. Without you even realizing it. The moment you and Luna are gone, he will attempt to run this country, and burn it to the ground on the first day if he can’t. Part of me is hoping that it makes the ponies smarter in the long run.”
Sledge115: … Sigh.
I’m out of words. Literally. I’m almost out of words.
This whole rant (all 2,000 words of it) serves two purposes; to demean and degrade Celestia as a character by showing how every single thing she does is actually wrong, and to completely absolve Discord of any wrongdoing.
Discord, y’all. The main antagonist of the Season 2 opening, who was canonically – I keep using that word because the main selling point of the story should be that this is canon Equestria – the old ruler of Equestria who sent it spiralling down. It’s so awfully mind-boggling that a story that repeatedly paints its antagonists as irredeemable because they use mind-control decides to portray Discord, best known for brainwashing the Mane Six, as an anti-hero who has done literally nothing wrong. What the fuck?
At this point I’m fairly convinced that the author doesn’t actually like the show, only the concept of it, because I can’t fathom anyone who’d look at it and decide to thoroughly dismantle its characters through ass-pulled concepts for some god-forsaken reason.
Fuck this.
Celestia had been steadily growing worse by the day. She flinched at loud noises, randomly blanked out at any random point in time, and even refused to eat her favorite dish of food altogether.
And that was when she was awake.
Screams could be heard coming from her rooms in the middle of the night, talking feverishly in her sleep while she descended into Colonel Renee’s memories, sometimes even bolting from her bed fleeing monsters only she could see.
The night before was the worse, as a section of a wall in her bedroom chamber ceased to exist from a powerful spell she unleashed when she awoke. Luna wished to help her sister, but Celestia forbade her from entering her dreams after the first night, making her feel more and more irritable each and every day.
VoxAdam: Guess this is what Redskin thinks of as a “relatable” Celestia…
Oh, right. Hello again there, I’m back. Anyway, PTSD is a delicate topic, with no easy solutions. But it’s still a repulsive thing to do, taking a character with an established personality as a calm, wise motherly figure, and dragging them down to your miserable level.
Bear this in mind for what happens next.
Prince Blueblood.
He looked just like the ponce she knew so well over a thousand years ago. She never liked Blueblood, neither the one from a millennia ago or the one today, and both made her blood curdle like spoiled milk whenever they were around.
He had the look of somepony looking to raise his status, even if meant stepping on ponies every step of the way, always exhibiting his bits like they made Equus move, always worrying about his looks, and always using mares to get some sort of sick satisfaction. It made her nauseous just thinking about how the bloodline had not strayed far from the original, even if Celestia thought otherwise. It was even worse when he eyed her up, thinking of a way to try bed her as if she was some sort of prize to be won, even though he called her ‘Aunty’ when she was first introduced to him.
VoxAdam: So, yes. This was written in 2013, an early period of the brony fandom’s life cycle, arguably when the show’s surprise popularity was nearing at its peak. Certain characters were still only one-offs and had yet to be revisited, with the significant exception of the original darkhorse, Princess Luna. The show hadn’t got into its phase where it would introduce or reintroduce antagonists to redeem them. And as we know in hindsight, Prince Blueblood was never afforded that on the show proper, though he did get a nice issue of the IDW comics for it.
Speaking as a fan whose best pony is Rarity, I find it stranger, seeing all the hatred for Blueblood. Canonically, he’s a one-joke character. He’s a subversion of all the clichés you’d expect of fairy-tale princes, like Rarity did. That’s it. In fact, if you wanted to do something more with him, it’d be easy to write him as trolling Rarity under the mistaken belief she was a gold-digger.
Except fandom blew Blueblood’s misdeeds out of proportion. The same fandom which loved to make Trixie a tragic or misunderstood figure, before the show revisited her. I suppose it’s because aristocrats make a popular choice for villains. (To be fair, there’s good reason for that.)
Still, it seems a strange thing for OG Spectrum to list off Blueblood’s haughtiness as a bad trait, or his alleged lechery towards Celestia. I won’t even go into how further demeaning the latter is. Suffice it to say that these traits which the narration holds up as bad, are traits displayed by the human male protagonists themselves.
But take a closer look at the choice of a certain word in the opening paragraph. “Ponce”. This is what OG Spectrum considers to be Blueblood’s damning flaw. It isn’t that he’s haughty or rude or salacious, or even that he’s grossly privileged. No, in the eyes of OG Spectrum and the one who wrote this, Blueblood’s sin is that he’s effeminate.
It’s rancid. And the text will go out of its way to hammer this in.
I’ll spare you the following few paragraphs, which are a display of Blueblood twattery that could have been written into any ponyfic of the time, albeit with all the worst behaviour on offer. What’s important is the tipping point. Blueblood, naturally, ends up affirming that the humans ought to be allowed to die – not that Marcus was making a great impression – and the angry response comes flowing.
From Celestia.
“Aunty-” Blue Blood open his mouth, but Celestia eyes flared open and everything around her erupted in white hot flames. Blue Blood scrambled backwards until his barrel hit the doors, trembling in complete fear.
“I am not your aunt. I am not your family, and I never will be. I am thankful I turned away your ancestor’s attempt to lay with me, because if this is how my family line would have turned out, I would have banished the lot of you before you corrupted everypony else.” Celestia’s RCV voice and steadiness made the very air tremble and windows vibrate as she stared down at the cowardly pony before narrowing her eyes. “It is about time that you learn your place, Blueblood.”
Celestia closed her eyes for a moment before opening them once more. “Starting today, you no longer have access to the Royal Treasury. You no longer have access to Royal retreats or personal areas.”
“But I need those!” Blueblood cried out, shocked at what was happening. “I need the bits to keep the grooming products coming in! I can’t look this good without them! And the Royal Retreats are heaven sent! I need them to so I can retire from the mass of mares that look up to me!”
“You’re not helping your case there, you fuckwit.” Marcus thought to himself, his runes flaring to life as he trekked to the inflamed Princess, only to recoil when the flames rose to new heights. He couldn’t even look directly at her without fear of blinding himself.
“YOU SELF CENTERED, IDIOTIC, REVOLTING DISEASE-RIDDEN PILE OF SUB-MEDIOCRITY!” Celestia roared, her eyes filled with disgust at the cornered pony. “YOU THINK THIS IS PUNISHMENT? A SIMPLE SLAP TO THE HOOVES AND BE DONE WITH? THIS IS SOMETHING THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CORRECTED LONG AGO! YOU ARE NO LONGER PRINCE OF EQUESTRIA, SHINING ARMOR IS A FAR BETTER EXAMPLE OF HOW A PRINCE SHOULD ACT! YOU ON THE OTHER HOOF, ARE NOTHING BUT A HORRID PONY THAT WAS BORN INTO NOBILITY, ONE THAT WAS PAVED IN BLOOD AND BAD DECISIONS, A DECISION THAT HAS HAUNTED ME FOR THE PAST MILLENNIUM WITH EVERY GENERATION! AND ONLY WITH MY EYES OPENED BY DISCORD IS IT THAT I AM READY TO LET YOUR LINE END.”
VoxAdam: Yeah… Try hearing that in Nicole Oliver’s voice.
Sledge115:
Blueblood swallowed as he slowly looked up and saw a long snout pulling from the door itself, before the rest of Discord’s head popped out. The mentioned chaotic being looked down, giving a rather large, razor sharp teeth filled smile.
“Hello there~”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Screaming at the top of his lungs, Blueblood rushed past Celestia, who didn’t even bat an eye at him, and attempted to get past Marcus. Marcus however, who was feeling particularly vicious at the the unicorn for his callous comment, stuck his leg out and tripped the fleeing pony.
“Oops.” Marcus said half heartedly as he watched the unicorn faceplant into the ground. He casually turned back to Discord, who finished pulling himself out of the door, not even giving the blubbering unicorn a second look.
VoxAdam: Okay, several things. It’s pretty rich of Marcus to feel ill-disposed towards someone for a callous comment.
Also, this is a small detail a lot of people might miss, but once you notice it… Marcus tripped up Blueblood. Juvenile? Sure, but that isn’t what I’m trying to wrap my head around. Somehow, the human tripped up the pony. As in, you know. Biped, tripped up a quadruped.
… What?
Sledge115: This doesn’t seem physically possible.
VoxAdam: And, oh yeah. Blueblood is last described as blubbering, evidently still conscious. Take note of that, because when attention returns to him, he’ll suddenly be out cold. A continuity gaffe, yet this’ll be important for what happens next.
Discord smiled at the two, before taking a closer look at Celestia, who was busy glaring at the now unconscious Blueblood. Marcus however was wearing a strange expression, one of ‘what did he just say?’ “One moment, if you please.”
VoxAdam: Cartoon physics, I know, but if someone falls unconscious and it’s not immediately after getting knocked on the head, this only means they’re even likelier to have a concussion, you monster.
Sledge115: This had three editors, just saying.
Discord popped away, appearing next to Celestia who didn’t even flinch at his teleporting antics. He opened his mouth, but Celestia beat him to it. “I despise him.”
“Excuse me?”
“I despise this pony, and his entire family line. Ever since you told me of what happened all those years ago, my eyes opened. I have been going over every memory I could remember of the Blueblood, and I feel ashamed of myself for justifying them. You were never there, at all.” Celestia lowered her head, shuddering a bit before continuing. “I was just so angry at you for casting Luna and myself out of Canterlot, that I never thought how odd it was for you to cause so much misery in such a way. It was so…”
“OOC?” Discord supplied.
VoxAdam: Wow. The lack of self-awareness is strong with this one.
Discord took a very long -eye brow raised- look at Celestia, before giving a tired chuckled. “Don’t worry, I got this.”
“Got what-?” Celestia blinked and Blueblood was gone, she turn and found Discord missing as well.
Not a minute later, Discord returned.“There, problem solved.”
“What did you do?!” Celestia turned to him, she may not have cared too much for him, but she didn’t want him hurt.
Sledge115: ‘She didn’t want him hurt’. Keep that in mind when, many chapters later, Celestia feels guilt over what happened to Blueblood – except the story portrays it as her idea to petrify him. What?
“What? I did your method of fair exile slash imprisonment, and you will just love the new garden statue decoration that I put up~! Completely not related to the question you just asked.” Discord blew on his claw, looking rather proud of himself.
“Discord!”
“Bah, he will be fine. It should wear off in a couple of centuries, just enough time for history to be rewritten or erased and should be as noble as the next pony. A fair punishment if I don’t say so myself. He doesn’t have his connections or bits, and when he awakens, he will be introduced to a new Equestria, one that doesn’t know who he is. Only you, Luna, and maybe Cadance. Or if we lose, then he will face the Solar Tyrant, if she doesn’t smash him like she did with her Blueblood.” Discord gave a smile, “At least he won't be awake for the entire thing. Believe me, I went insane a couple of times the past millennium while I was a rock. Oh well, what’re you going to do? You look terrible by the way, you look like you haven’t slept in days.”
Celestia froze on the spot, her eyes fixed on the retreating draconequus as he spread his arms to welcome the duo leaders once more.
‘He was awake the entire time?!?!’
VoxAdam: So this leaves me in a bind.
Back in May 2017, when the Team had finally had enough of all this gaslighting and angry journals came out announcing we were splitting, I made a point to highlight that Discord’s own introductory episode had him claim he doesn’t turn people to stone. Ergo, OG Spectrum had made him into a liar, or more disingenuous than usual.
Then a few years later, the show’s own writers would pull a fast one in the last few episodes of Season 9, the three-part finale of the entire show, and have Discord be the one to give Princesses Celestia and Luna the idea to petrify their defeated enemies – which is a fate that remains controversial to this day.
As I’m not interested in opening that can of worms for now, I’ll merely restate that when I raised the point at the time, it was very much true and had yet to be undermined by canon itself.
But regardless of the hypocrisy, even if you dislike Blueblood, does this feel earned? If what happened to Chrysalis, Tirek and Cozy Glow in-canon can attract such debate, then a character like Blueblood can’t possibly have done anything that comes close to their misdeeds. I’d say it’s completely disproportionate. And as you can see, Discord tries to justify this by claiming it’ll give Blueblood a chance over to start over a century down the line, but how sincere does that sound?
It’s no wonder Blueblood’s petrification was one of the first things we as a Team collectively petitioned Redskin to reverse. Which would come to pass, in the chapter ‘Of Broken Pasts’. Not in the most satisfying way, mind you. Because Redskin couldn’t own up to anything, that chapter framed it as Celestia’s idea to have petrified Blueblood. Lord, the gaslighting…
Sledge115: Ugh. Next, we resume with Luna, Discord and Marcus discussing Celestia’s well-being, and the upcoming plan to have Luna and Discord visit Earth.
“It will take time.” Discord simply said, waving his paw to get the slight burn he got when Celestia unconsciously attempted to protect herself by heating herself up to burn the attacker. Fortunately he managed to break her weakened mental defenses before she set everything aflame. “The good Colonel’s memories are quite powerful, and she is suffering for it. I placed a spell to gather the wayward memories and seal them up. She will have access to them, eventually, but right now, we need her in top shape for the get-together coming up. Is everyone here?”
Sledge115: I’d like to point out that Discord got his counterpart’s memories and isn’t horribly traumatised, despite it involving his death. And yet Celestia is suffering and continues to suffer because of someone else’s memories.
Why?
Luna couldn’t help but feel odd about talking to Discord. Every other time she met the chaos being, it always led to a fight, one that she lost badly each and every time, with him mocking her and Celestia before sending them far away. It just felt wrong to simply let him order her around like this, but Discord was taking this seriously. Mostly because Celestia’s deteriorating state was a cause of concern for him, which she found extremely off putting.
Sledge115: What’s also off-putting is Discord being an asshole throughout, but the story writes his personality based on how favourable it wants him to be at that moment. Here, despite having been such an abusive prick towards Celestia with the unhinged rant in the same chapter, we’re told that he’s somehow caring towards her as well.
Then again, that’s how a lot of abusive relationships tend to look like.
“Yes.” Luna closed her eyes, nodding to herself as she continued on. “The Reindeers have sent a old friend, Sint Erklass has arrived early this evening. Dragon Clan Leader Spykoran arrived with him and is resting in the gardens after the long flight here. Chieftain Minos, Pack Alpha Canis, Queen Hedwig and her son Prince Tobias, Queen Chrysalis, Shaman Quagga, and Chief Thunderhooves are in their respectable quarters.” Luna gave a small smile at one of the names. “Its has been a long time since We have last seen of Sint Erklass.”
Discord rolled his eyes at the old name. “Yes yes, the jolly old buck and all that jazz.” Discord muttered under his breath. “Why he didn’t do his job taking both of you back really irritates me to no end.”
VoxAdam: The two characters who are expected to devote their existence towards a fixed, mechanical routine of drudgery, with seemingly no lives outside of their assigned task – are both female.
Now, I’m not saying anything, but…
Sledge115: Looks like a duck, walks like a duck.
“Maybe it has to do with you turning his daughter into a cloak?” Luna scowled angrily at Discord.
“Hey! He begged me to save her life. Even with my powers, I couldn’t save her from what was afflicting her. I did what I could.” Discord defended himself.
“By cursing her entire existence into a cloak!”
“It was either that, or forced to watch her suffer an agonizing death!” Discord snapped at the alicorn, causing Marcus to focus on the two. They had many issues between each other, that’s for sure.
Sledge115: Sigh. I’m probably sounding like a broken record here, but here’s another example of the story hammering in that the most extreme solutions are the only way and anyone carrying them out is well justified. Like Discord turning Sint Erklass’ daughter (actually retconned to granddaughter later on) into a cloak because it’s the only way to cure her. If it was the only example, I’d let it slide, but the story does this over and over again so that it becomes tiring.
Also, Discord can do no wrong and everything he does ever is wholly justified, of course.
“The board is set, the pieces are moving.” Discord turned away, holding up a single claw before snapping once and vanishing from the hall. His voice, now deepened, echoed in the empty hall. “We come to it at last, the great battle of our time.”
VoxAdam: Congratulations, you saw Peter Jackson’s Lord of The Rings. We’re all very impressed.
Sledge115: The rest of the chapter takes a detour into Harry Potter. That’s not a figure of speech, by the way. The chapter literally ends with Discord arriving at the Harry Potter universe, saving Sirius Black and being made into an honorary Marauder.
Honestly at this point I’m so out of it, so sick of seeing this Discord, that all I can say of it is that it’s a whiplash, it tonally clashes with the rest of the story, and if you’re not into either Harry Potter or this version of Discord, it’s just flat.
And, here we are, at the end. Sigh.
Was this post mean-spirited? Maybe. But Princess Celestia deserves better, damn it.
I don’t think I’ll be covering the rest of the story in a series of blogs, but I may do a follow-up blog on how the original Spectrum portrayed Princess Luna in ‘For Whom the Bell Tolls’ for entirely obvious reasons. There’s also a scene in the ‘Second Month’ chapter that I really didn’t like once I read through it again, the scene being Twilight Sparkle being lectured by a human scientist that she doesn’t really know the Elements of Harmony. No, seriously.
There’s a lot more I can say about the OG Spectrum. But I’ll keep it limited at this snippet of the lowest point it ever got, because it’s not at all healthy to keep dwelling in the past.
Speaking of which, as for Spectrum, well – still working on it, despite delays. No ETAs, mind, but we’ve been working on the closing part of Act Three 
It’ll be a fun one, I hope. Stay tuned
To those unaware, here's the link to the reboot, and the original;
[Adult story embed hidden]
VoxAdam: One thing’s for sure, OG Spectrum provides excellent material for the MST3K treatment.
See you around, everyone.
That... is a pretty familiar feeling. Just looking at OG spectrum and kicking yourself for being like "What the FUCK was wrong with me?"
Also, I found myself growing to sour more and more on how OG Spectrum has characters that exist just to get kicked (or kick others). Like... that can be fun, maybe in small doses, but it's a trick it just used all the time
They're actually wrong. Hindsight is usually better, because you've grown as a person and you have more context to go on, including what really happened, but the reason hindsight seems as good as it does isn't because it's better than foresight, it's that it doesn't get tested in the same way.
When hindsight is, "I should have done X instead of Y," it's seriously unfalsifiable, because you'll never be faced with the outcome of doing X, and so never learn if you're right as you believe, or if that would turn out just as badly (or worse) than doing Y.
In cases like this, where it's about your opinions, unless you're specifically looking at this post, in the future you're probably going to be comparing how you view things then to how you viewed things at the time, instead of comparing it to how you view things now.
It's called zalgoing, and it's done by stacking so many diacritical marks on a character that they overflow the space they're meant to inhabit.
In this example, each successive letter has three more diacritical marks than the one before it:
How the heck did Redskin manage to write in such a way as to make his own self-insert sound out of character? This isn't how Marcus talks. This isn't how Marcus thinks. This isn't how Marcus anythings.
Celestia is injected into Marcus, Celestia's nature causes it to coalesce into a form that protects him from the trauma of watching everyone she's ever loved, save Luna, die. More death and heartache than Marcus could image, and he doesn't need to cope with it, because Celestia wouldn't inflict that on him.
When Marcus is injected into Celestia, it causes nothing but pain, and sweet fuck is that ever in character.
Actually, given how very, very tame it is by old-Spectrum's standards, one has to wonder if some part of Marcus' hateful nature is somehow tipping the scales, and making it so these memories, that shouldn't be affecting her like this, somehow hurt far more than they should.
This is a lie. It's old-Spectrum canon that Celestia grew up under Discord's rule. It was a place of blood and death and chaos. It was defined by conflict and lacked anything resembling control.
Celestia and Luna clawed their way to the top, vanquished their oppressor, and created a world where people (not just ponies) could have a measure of control over their own lives. She and her sister created that world; they were not created by it. They are not time travelers who raised themselves. They grew up in Discord's world.
By contrast, Discord (who is speaking there), grew up in a world where everything, including absolute power, was handed to him on a silver platter. His mother was the god of old-Spectrum's Equestria, and she personally raised him in a setting where everything was controlled and death didn't even exist. Fighting wasn't even a last resort, because fighting wasn't a thing. That perfect world is the one he grew up in, but the only time he'll admit it is when he's SCREAMING (yes, this is a thing he does in allcaps) at Celestia about how terrible it was of her, his subject, to think and act for herself, because it robbed him of his divine right.
I can do you one better. Aquaman, Poseidon, and Shiva use tridents. Tridents aren't weapons, they're fishing tools.
Because of refraction, one standing above the water throwing a spear at a fish in the water needs to aim where the fish isn't, or rather where the fish they can see isn't. Right to left, the image of the fish accurately represents the fish's location, but the fish is deeper and nearer than it appears, which means when aiming vertically, they're trying to hit a target whose location they need to guess. A solution, independently arrived at by cultures all across the world, is to have multiple spear points all in alignment horizontally, but at different vertical levels. (And now you know how to hold a trident, the prongs should be directly above and below each other.)
Good for hunting fish, terrible for combat.
Like the ponies of Equestria, Aquaman is a fictional character with superpowers. In contrast, Poseidon and Shiva are gods. The trident was good enough for all of them. Wanna know something that's more useful as a weapon than a trident? A spear.
Also, Discord has never picked up a gun (or, so far as we know, any other weapon) in his entire life. Remember, his entire experience with world boils down to, "I can have anything that I want with a snap of my fingers," and, "The Elements of Harmony can curbstomp me, though." Maybe he's not the best authority on this matter when, if they followed his lead, the ponies of Equestria would currently be researching snapping as the ultimate technique. (And what a dead end that would be. Try to snap using one digit from each hand, I dare you.)
Perhaps he has a deep-seated need to see all disputes settled in a way that he's pretty sure will unfairly favor him, because his insecurities telling him that he'd lose if life were fair. It's also possible that, lacking the ability to make a cogent defense of his positions and beliefs, he's settled with "Might Makes Right", and therefore any system that prevents the strong from dominating the weak is one he finds deeply unsettling on a fundamental level.
I've said it before, I'll say it again: always and forever these people are writing like this is an infomercial attempting to sell us the weapons they describe.
The people who live there, not the people with political power (who would have mostly evacuated) would be the ones taken out by this.
Washington DC is famously non-white. I don't have figures for the year the story was written, but as of the census closest to when it was written, it was 50.7% black compared to 34.8% non-Hispanic white.
Given the author's other views, this feels like a feature, not a bug.
I am not surprised.
She ignored his clearly stated lack of consent to make herself feel better in a way that he can't call out without seeming ungrateful, because the action was performative comforting in spite of the fact that his clear and visceral reaction was anything but being comforted.
Look, Marcus Mary Sue Renee, he of house Sparklypoo, can't help it if the author he's a self-insert of keeps writing women throwing themselves at him. It's just in Marky Sue's nature to be a babe magnet.
This.
It's also of note that Marcus will only ever admit fault if it's so someone can tell him he's perfect, and will only ever apologize if it's so the one he's apologizing to can assure him his actions were justified.
No.
No, I won't kill you. I'll just agree that that is dreck in every possible sense of the word. And also thank the Yiddish language for introducing the word "dreck" to the English language, because it is a wonderous word that sounds like what it means, and sweet fuck is this shit ever dreck.
"I can't help it if I wrote Celestia bowing to me, and in fact I was too modest and humble to accept the bow I wrote her giving me."
Missing a paragraph break here.
Not how tenses work.
Then fucking tell her.
Wow, I was just trying to hang this lampshade from this other lampshade, but having trouble because a third lampshade was blocking all the light.
Yeah, I'm not sure how anyone could think, "I sexually assaulted you repeatedly and at great length, but because there was never penis in vagina sex that makes it all ok," was a valid defense.
It has now been established that the changelings of old did rape ponies left and right. This may seem like a minor point right now, but it's gonna matter later.
This means, it should be noted, that these changelings were disobeying her. Depending on Changeling law, this makes them either deserters or traitors. She commanded an attack, and they ignored her. The most important military engagement in modern changeling history, and possibly all of changeling history, and they told her to go fuck herself and turned their back on their nation.
In spite of this, they obey her without question or hesitation, and she bears them no ill will, because that's totally how this works.
Ok, also:
One could argue, of course, that "actively attacking others" is meant to be taken in a far more literal sense than just, "Going along with the invasion as they had been ordered to do," in which case maybe they didn't need to desert/turn traitor to not fall under that heading.
That makes this worse. The vast majority of the undisguised changelings weren't actively attacking anyone. Ponies cleared the streets leaving the overwhelming bulk of the invasion force with no one to attack and we're shown on screen how very many of them are left over with nothing to do, because when it came to the ones in the vicinity of the Bearers, they could all turn their attention toward the Element Bearers, at which point we have a surrender cut. Most of those idle changelings? They didn't follow the captured Bearers back to the site of the wedding, and that was just one part of Canterlot regardless.
So, for the weaponized love to punt all of the undisguised changelings out of Canterlot, which it did, it must necessarily be the case that every single changeling in the entire invasion force had malicious intent. That's impressive, and pretty well means that either Chrysalis has been having the most successful ideological purges in history, or the changeling race is inherently evil.
Yeah, I'm seriously not sure why some people think "have" and "of" are interchangeable.
"We of a lot have work to do," is not an acceptable way to write, "We have a lot of work to do." That's technically more correct than using "could of" for "could've" because it doesn't require you to fuck with any of the rules that govern contractions.
That is also my diagnosis.
"I will respond in a way that allows for further exposition, even though I have doubtless tried this approach before, and noticed that it only results in you insulting me more."
Is there any evidence that Redskin actually liked any part of the show?
Ok, so, here's the thing about badly written "Take that!" pieces where your favored characters mistreat the ones you dislike with zero negative consequences: anyone can write them.
Here's proof, I can do it too:
Then, if Redskin or one of his supporters were to read this, they could write a spite fueled version where this was undone and the evil changelings came out on top.
And it serves no purpose. If one needs to have characters railroaded into being right or powerful or whatever by means of authorial fiat, it means the author doesn't have any kind of argument or reason or explanation to support the claim that the characters really are that thing.
Seconded.
Remember the thing I said would matter later? These are the changelings of old, and Chrysalis said in no uncertain terms that they were a pack of rapists. A pack of rapists approached Celestia, and all Celestia did was exile them, and both Chrysalis and the author think that was unforgivably harsh.
No. We've already seen how this goes. Chrysalis doesn't say "But" and she certainly doesn't back down. She teleports Marcus into the Galloping Sea. That's if Marcus is lucky, because she did it to a head of state, while he's just the strange creature that, so far as she knows, Celestia is keeping as a pet. Like, maybe she'd think he's the court jester, but even then he's seriously trying to do what Luna did, while having far less authority than Luna to did it, and we saw what she did to Luna.
Yes.
I've read this thing beginning to end, and insofar as it has a consistent theme, it's that Celestia deserves to suffer. This is, to a lesser extent, also true of the main cast. They're there so that they can be humiliated and physically injured. So that they can be out thought, out fought, and out maneuvered at every turn.
Canon female characters exist so that they can be injured, be hurt, be humiliated, and fawn over certain men: Marcus, Stephan, a memorable part where a human (Grimnebulin) does in one encounter--which mostly consists of screeching, "Assumption," as if he's demonically possessed text to speech software working with a one word dictionary-- what Twilight couldn't do, or even imagine, in years, and probably others I've forgotten.
Lyra escapes the humiliation and such, but her alternate version also happens to be solely responsible for the corruption of Celestia, and thus responsible for the genocide of humanity and what's become of TCB Equestria.
That's what I got from the story without knowing or caring who wrote which parts, I'm sure it'd be even starker if I'd been able to look at just the Redskin parts.
Discord uses the Nuremburg defense. I'd say this is odd given that he had absolute power with zero checks on it, but it's actually not odd. Dictators often justify their actions by claiming that it was what they were meant to do or indeed what they needed to do.
. . .
Ok, I want to point something out:
Discord doesn't separate these things, he says that all of them are what should have been. Both grammatically and in terms of meaning, what he said is identical to how I've phrased it above. Innocent ponies should be dying. Ponies should be killed by unnatural animals he created. Ponies should be suffering madness because the Sun and moon are so far out of their proper places and speeds as to break their very brains, this even though Discord himself said that he was supposed to leave the sun and moon under the control of Celestia and Luna. And ponies should be blaming each other for things that are the Windigos fault.
As an aside, it's "Windigos". It's a pun on "wind" and wendigo, but it's not actually wendigos, because those are giant humanoids filled with insatiable greed and or hunger from the folklore of certain indigenous people in North America, and MLP Windigos are not humanoid, are not greedy, and don't eat. They may or may not be giant; I'm not gonna look up screencaps to check.
Back on point, there are a lot of rhetorical effects of sticking the various crimes of discord into one clump he can dismiss with one sentence. It distracts from the fact that he is saying that every single one of those things is good, so maybe you're not really stopping and thinking, "Wait, is having unnatural Discord-introduced beasts nom on them really the way it's supposed to be?" because you're also left wondering how a sun and moon that defy all attempts at logic and reason is meant to help ponies grow as people. It means they can't invent calendars, it means they can't track seasons, it means that clocks are useless and no one should invent them, it means that agriculture is probably not worth it, because if the sun follows no sensible pattern, there's no telling if it'll shine upon your crops, it means so, so much is simply not worth doing.
And you get to wonder the same about unnatural Discord-introduced storms. Or about blaming each other for the work of the Windigos. And with all those things competing in your head, and all of them dismissed with the same, "And that’s how it should have been!" Discord then only needs to explain the ones he thinks will be convincing.
He introduced outside wild beasts because the wild beasts already present, whatever they may have been, wouldn't have been able to teach them how to properly approach and deal with the wild beasts already present. Totally sound logic. Makes sense.
He caused deadly storms because that would prepare them (except the ones who died) for the deadly storms he would cause in the future. He had to abuse them, he said, because that was the only reason they'd be able to endure his future abuse. Does that make sense? Not really.
Discord's ethos here, which is basically, "They have to sink or swim on their own, and if they die that's fine," is completely invalidated by the fact that they're not learning on their own. He's not leaving them to face the dangers of the world, he's creating new dangers as part of his twisted lesson plan, which means he's controlling what they can learn and more than that what they can think.
They can't invent mathematics when they're struggling not to be eaten, and freezing, and having the sun and moon defy all attempts at measurement. Know what it took for mathematics to be invented? Safety, security, and leisure time. For most of human history, which is hundreds of thousands of years, instead of doing math, people collected examples. And you can do a lot with examples--the Babylonians did fucking trigonometry with examples--but there was never a system, because all that mattered to people was what Discord is interested in: survival and practical applications.
To go from a set of examples to the math that undergirds our entire civilization, it needs to be systematized, which means you need people sitting around fucking navel gazing saying, "Ok, there's no practical application for this, but what if I . ? ." And you need a lot of people doing that, because it's not like everyone doing that will do math. Some people will write poems, or sing songs, or do engineering, or create board games, or go fishing, or . . .
But you get enough people with enough safety, security, and leisure time, and eventually someone is gonna figure it out. And then it spreads. Like fucking wildfire. And the world changes.
That's math, but there's any number of other things I could have used as examples. Consider that the personal computer would never have been invented if not for people affluent enough to spend their time tinkering with expensive shit in their garages on personal projects that wouldn't necessarily be useful in the end.
Or consider the industrial revolution. It wasn't driven by people living hand to mouth the way Discord thinks they should be.
Chocolate fucking rain.
They would have learned about the nature of Discord. If you had to bring the storms, then it wasn't in their nature to be there. If you had to introduce the animals, then it wasn't in their nature to be there. If you had to set the sun and raise the moon then, then it wasn't in their nature to set and rise then.
This isn't the nature of the world, this is the capricious nature of a petty despot who refuses to let nature be natural.
This may not always be the best way to teach, and there's a strong argument to be made that a variety of things should be taught by operating in the student's zone of proximal development, the place where they know enough that with help they can learn more, instead of using rote to teach them stuff they're not yet ready to fully understand, but the term for showing people how to do things is "teaching".
What Discord is advocating for is what we might call the bean dad approach to teaching, which isn't really teaching. It's controlling the environment to force a crisis without actually doing anything that's conducive to learning.
Bean dad got his name because his daughter, who was hungry, asked for food, and he told her to make beans, and he'd never taught her to open a can. So he refused to let her eat anything else, handed her a can opener, and told her to figure it out. And waited. For hours. Occasionally berating her in a way that he thought was helpful.
He's not the only father to do this.
That, like Discord sending storms and wild animals to kill them, or having the sun set at noon and expecting ponies to figure it the fuck out, is not teaching. It's artificially creating a crisis (you can't eat anything until you figure this out!) and then watching suffering you have caused.
Though . . . Bean dad, while abusive, is mild compared to old-Spectrum Discord. A better analogy might be this:
If you throw a bunch of people who don't know how to swim in the deep end, and some of them survive, you didn't teach them to swim. They're self taught, and you can't take credit for teaching them any more than you can take credit for teaching the ones who drowned.
You didn't have to. You had everything handed to you. Why do you get an easy life while they have to suffer and die for not learning things they had never been taught?
Moreover, that's not how learning works. Not when we're talking about a social species like ponies. Young are not "raised" by being abandoned as babies and then expected to learn hunting, agriculture, tool making, and textile manufacture on their own. You were taught, your hand was held, because that's how learning should be done, and even old-Spectrum's Fausticorn knew that.
People do not have to start from first principles. That's what other people are for. That's what civilization is for.
Furthermore, as of Season 2, which predates this chapter being written, ponies have moveable type, typewriters, and mimeographs. It took humanity circa three hundred thousand years to make it that far, how long did it take ponies? Cause I gotta say, if it took Celestia and Luna circa 300,000 years to depose Discord, they waited way too long.
And as a further furthermore, human history, which Discord claims a familiarity with, pretty fucking clearly demonstrates that innovation is way faster in the kind of environment Celestia and Luna provide than it is in the chaos Discord advocates for. Structure and security lets people take their attention off of surviving the day, the week, the month, or the year, and put it to work on things that haven't been tried before.
It's been established that the changelings of old were rapists. Call them rapists. (Chrysalis finds the fact that they're rapists amusing.) This was seriously the way the story introduced the Changelings, and it happened in this very chapter.
Not all abusers, but many abusers assume that everyone wants to be an abuser every bit as much as they do.
Then why are you so fucking angry that Celestia was dangerous and outside your control? You wanted ponies forged by your murder world. One stands before you. You wanted ponies who would stand up for themselves. She did. You wanted ponies with power and problem solving abilities. You got it.
She is every single thing you said you wanted a pony to be, and she did exactly what you said a pony should, and you hate her with a passion that is unmatched by anything else in your miserable life.
What, exactly, is supposed to make us believe that you would be reacting any differently if it had been Clover the Clever to finally end your reign? Why should we believe that a mortal pony would be treated any different from Celestia?
Isn't it more reasonable to think that for all this kind of abuser talks about wanting to make victims strong and independent, the thing they hate most in the world is the victim who stands up to them?
Think about this. He just said that if not for Celestia, it would have been an anarchy filled gorefest. He only refrained because he wanted to make sure Celestia's attention stayed on him.
A lot. Oh so fucking much. There isn't a world leader in the history of humanity who wouldn't kill to achieve a fraction of what Celestia did.
Beyond the fact that you've established yourself to be an irredeemable monster throughout the course of this rant, why would anyone assume Celestia wanted to puree Discord?
Discord, your projection shows no bounds. You're an impudent whelp living out the fantasy of shouting at someone who, because of the narrative, can't shout back. The fantasy of never needing to defend your flimsy arguments. The fantasy about being able to shout anyone down and have them meekly back down because of it.
Celestia, on the other hand, has displayed zero impudence. She's been diplomatic and has displayed the patience of a fucking saint. If you actually attempted this with a world leader, there's a good chance you'd be dead by now.
Since basically nothing here matters, it's ideal for skimming. The thing about skimming? Your brain fills in what you expect to find. Discord is winning an argument? Well then he must be making good points. Celestia is ashamed? Well then she must have done something to be ashamed of. Literally anything is happening? There must be a reasonable explanation.
Redskin, your projection knows no bounds.
It never ceases to boggle my mind that this was written by an adult.
And it does it badly. It makes up a stupid lie for Celestia to stupidly believe. This even though we know for a fact that Celestia paid enough attention to personally watch Discord actually working to kill ponies.
Also, this bullshit doesn't work. A civilization that's capable of building castles knows that the sun doesn't set at noon. A civilization that is building castles, structures that exist purely for the purpose of advanced siege warfare isn't one that needs someone to release wild animals to teach them about mortality. They know. They've lived through so much blood and carnage that they've developed fortifications, and anti-fortification devices, and new fortifications capable of resisting those devices, and new anti-fortification devices capable of overcoming those, and so on through generations upon generations.
If Discord wanted them to be strong and warlike, he got it, and his excuses for continuing to abuse them (which were never good in the first place) wore out well over a hundred generations prior.
Except, it's more than that, because even if Equestria were still at the level of hoplites, they'd already have been advanced far beyond the bounds of any, "Well they had to learn how not to get eaten by things with sharp teeth, how not to freeze to death, and how not to get struck by lighting," argument.
This doesn't work. Discord is making an argument for how to treat hunter gatherers--that doesn't work for hunter gathers--when discussing a civilization so far passed that they don't even remember hunter gatherers were a thing.
Pretty much. Show where a bunch of girls/women solve problems with friendship. Author hates girls/women and non-violent solutions. It's hard to believe he could have been a fan.
Yeah that seems like the kind of character the story likes.
Oh, yup, that explains it.
The mind boggles.
He literally said that innocent ponies should be dying. That's how he fucking opened. They should be dying in unnatural storms he brought. They should be slaughtered by unnatural animals he introduced, they should be having their minds broken by the sun and moon, and with them day and night, failing to keep consistent schedules. These are the things he says should be happening.
They should also be blaming each other for things that were the fault of others.
Discord is always right, therefore if something was a mistake it must not have been done by Discord, therefore Celestia is to blame. QED.
Don't let this fool you, anyone who might read this, while it might seem bad now, it's much, much worse in the actual story.
Discord flat out said that it was the Elements, not Celestia, that chose to petrify him. It's not just that he can't keep his lies straight, it's that he can't even wait until the next chapter to contradict them.
Honestly, it's often the gaslighting that hits me hardest.
Most of what Discord does isn't something people can do--he broke their brains by fucking with the sun and the moon, he introduced wild animals they'd never encountered before, he unleashed the Windigoes, he caused storms, and so forth. Gaslighting, though? That's been done to me personally. That's the abuse I was subjected to for my entire childhood.
So we're just ignoring the fact that she and Celestia turned him to stone? In spite of the chapter being dominated by Discord screaming about it.
Honestly, the realism makes it worse.
It's like Edward Cullen. He isn't disturbing because he's a sparklepire, he's disturbing because he's actually a highly realistic depiction of an abuser. Yes, he's theoretically a super-fast super-strong nigh-indestructible killing machine, but the majority of the time he's with Bella Swan, that's not actually in play; he's just an abusive boyfriend.
Then it's probably a misogynist jerk writing incredibly sexist MLP hatefic?
If you believe that the ends justify the means, then sufficiently dire ends can justify any means, and since justifying the means what you wanted to do in the first place . . .
It really wasn't. The tone was set by the material being approached. The text was mean spirted, and you can't call that out while being nice. If you seek to call out bad shit, sometimes it's not possible to be kind. That's not being mean, that's how things are.
That was terrible and wasn't just an insult to Twilight, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, the reader, and so forth, but also an affront to science itself.
Pretty sure I privately did that for the whole thing. Redux too, for that matter.
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We've all sought to grow since then, Doc, mate. Even if there's more that went down overall than may even make it into that Book you were writing.
Also, hi there, wasn't expecting to hear from you.
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Thanks for covering the Chrysalis segment in-depth, chris. While riffing on this chapter, there were areas we found too wearying to cover beyond letting the material speak for itself. But also because the topic of sexual non-consent is one more delicate than we were sure how to broach.
Rape was something Redskin took quite seriously, in a typically warped way; the Conversion brainwashing in OG Spectrum is habitually compared to it. But the idea that harassment or assault can manifest in ways less overt than outright rape is one which a lot of people still seem to have trouble wrapping their heads around.
That's an extra layer of irony, given that Redskin is in fact a non-white Hispanic. (This is not private information; while his Fimfiction account has since been emptied, he made no secret of his real name or other details.) But if the last few years of American politics have shown us anything, it's how people can have a skewed perspective of their own interests...
you know, in retrospect, written human civilization dates back to like 4K? Maybe 5K years? Assuming that ponies were starting to move out of gathering and into farming half a century before Celestia went around, 2K years or so to hit early 19th century is pretty ok.
OG spectrum was my only dabbling in the conversion bureauI never even knew that chatoyance wrote the conversion bureau originally all I saw were the gut reaction fics hit the box time and time again and they all seemed mean spirited and more of an outright rejection that humanity could be overcome.
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no see it's because manly humans fuck yeah while girly ponies lame
All seriousness, shows you how much thought went into it doesn't it?
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By going so far the opposite ends it's clear it's got nothing to do with ponies and more that humanity is so awesome it can't possibly lose.
Why are you writing about MLP if you're not interested in it at all?
Ugh
Mean-spirited is right.
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Very technically there was an even older TCB story that inspired Chat, but it was very clearly an amateur work with a poor sense of numbers, time, and character motivation.
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And that's not even getting into Jen's misanthropy.
Like, Jesus fuck, woman, that's the same hate the idiots give you for being trans.