Five week notice · 2:02am Dec 10th, 2012
I don't quite know how to say this. Maybe I did at one point – in fact, my head was full of ideas about this particular blog entry, and it has been for months. I've been thinking for a long, long time how this would all turn out. "This" being... well, me, my readers, and my yet-to-be-completed magnum opus, The Stranger and Her Friend. I've thought about how I could paint the picture to make people respond the way I wanted them to respond. Now, I'm completely blank. It's like a bad case of writer's block.
If that's the case, why don't I just spit it out? Well, it's because I'm scared. But here it goes anyways.
In about five weeks, on Monday, January 14th, 2013, I will be leaving Fimfiction.net, as well as the internet its entirety. Work on my story will cease to progress. I will be gone for a long time, a little over two years.
This might seem sudden to you. The sad truth is that it isn't sudden at all. Not really. I've known this day was coming for the better part of a year now, I just never said anything. I've waited until now because I didn't want anyone to panic, or jump ship, or not give my story a chance. More than that, though, I didn't say anything because I truly thought I could complete my story. That there wouldn't be any need for panic. I've heard about that fabled sense of closure and accomplishment that authors get when they complete a work. I've heard it's nice when you can sit back, look at the document before you, and say "I did something hard, something not everybody can do." I never wanted anything more than I wanted that. So I thought that if I worked hard enough, if I wrote like a madman, I could finish.
And I tried! By God, I tried. It might seem silly – actually, I'm fairly sure it is silly – to fret this much over an insignificant little fan-fiction, based on a show meant for little girls, no less. But it was more than that to me. If I finished, it would have meant more than "I finished writing a story," or even "I finished writing this story." It would mean "I can finish writing stories." So I wrote, and read, and wrote, and read, and pestered my editors to keep up with my breakneck pace.
But then, this ultimatum reared its head. January 14th. That was months ago. Ever since then I've had this doubt in the back of my head, growing little by little. Time went on, I kept writing, and all the while, regardless of what I told people, I always sort of knew. I knew I would never finish in time.
I suspected this for a while, and long ago, when my story was in its relative infancy, I almost just completely stopped writing because of it. What was the point, if I wasn't going to finish?
The reason I kept going anyways is a good one, I think, but also a little selfish.
I never wanted to be popular. Actually, that's a lie... I used to. I aspired to be the next device heretic of ponydom. I would have hundreds of watches, tens of thousands of story views. Everybody would be waiting on the edge of their seat to see what I did next. Eventually, though, that feeling went away, and I just sort of... stopped caring about popularity. Because that was silly. Don't get me wrong, I love it when I get comments, critique, and praise. There's nothing quite like the feeling of someone else's approval, especially when you put so much of yourself on the line.
I discovered something, though. It just clicked at one point. I was writing because I enjoyed it. Weird, huh? I was writing because I wanted to, and because the practice was making me a better author. And that's why I kept going: for the practice, and for the enjoyment.
In the words of a friend:
"In the end, you just gotta remind yourself who you're writing this story for, and why your leaving isn't an impediment at all in that regard. Sure, people won't get to read the ending, at least anytime soon, but that promise was never given. Given that knowledge, should you not have written it, not have posted it? That's just silly. Tell them you'll be away, that much is fair. Then, keep doing what you've been doing this whole time. Well, except for the fretting part."
And then he made me promise not to be overly dramatic in this blog post but SCREW THAT.
So yes. I'm writing it for me. I was the whole time. It was selfish of me to continue when I knew I couldn't finish. I'm sorry.
At this point, I probably don't deserve your readership. I can practically see the hundreds of mice hovering over the "unfavorite" and "unwatch" buttons. Click them if you want. I say that without any trace of malice or spite. Of course, I don't mean to encourage it... but I won't be offended. Feel free to unfave, unwatch, or remove my fic from your wall, where it may or may not deserve to be. Direct your angry, disappointed comments to my PM box, or just leave them below. I deserve them.
And why? Well, think about this:
Say the average reader takes in 1 hour to read 10,000 words, to keep it simple. The Stranger and Her Friend is almost 215,000 words long. It would take approximately 21 hours to read. That's a long time, right? Well, Stranger has nearly 600 favorites across 25 chapters, resulting in over 40,000 views. 21 hours for 600 people is a total of 12,600 hours spent reading my work.
12,600 hours. Increase or decrease that figure however you like, it's still going to be huge. That is a lot of time and attention to command... and then waste. I don't regret it. But I am sorry.
All that said, I will still be writing for the next five weeks, and I will try my darnedest to end The Stranger and Her Friend on a note of closure. I will also keep posting to Equestria Daily, for those strange, strange people who don't have fimfiction accounts.
Thank you for your time, and your wonderful comments in the past.
~TheUrbanMoose
tl;dr:
A rambling, thousand word excuse/apology.
Um, you haven't explained WHY you will lose access to the Internet. Are you going to military boot camp? That would do it, I know...
Sounds like you and ponky would have a lot of similar things to talk about. (Heh, you aren't going to Italy are you?)
Good luck on your mission and I do hope to see "Stranger' reach a conclusion, it's a great story that I've thoroughly enjoyed.
Well then...Two years? A shame, I suppose. Ah well, its not like it hurts to have an inactive person in my watch bar. If you come back, i'm sure I won't be the only one happy. Whatever the reason is, it was fun while it lasted and I hope you make the best of the time you're gone, because that is the only time i will be disappointed (not that you know me : p)
You... you... you're going to leave? So what if you are writing for your enjoyment, you wouldn't be the first fanfiction writer that said that, you won't be the last. I for one won't unwatch you or vote you down for that.
I do wish you luck in your future, and you will still have one friend here on FiMFiction. Even if you don't finish Stranger... ok it would be better that you do, but still.
Your Friend,
Celestia's Paladin
Your story has been amazing so far, I do hope for some closure with the story of course but I would understand if that can not be possible. I hope when the time comes you do enjoy your time away.
Unfavorite? My good sir, it is for times like this that the favorites function is most useful! Your friend is right. I, for one, plan on keeping my favorite of your story, and when it updates two years from now, it will let me know, and I shall return to read it once more. All I require from you is either an assurance that you will finish the story during that time, or a promise that you will pass the writing of the story to someone you trust to finish it in your stead.
And you're right, screw having an appropriate amount of drama!
moose, your readers will want a point to call an end, they wont give a buck unless they have some point they an call an and.
you got an eqd post, hell Ive only got 3 myself, your good. accept it.
your readers love your fic and the magic of friendship will still be bee when you return, 2 ears my flank. i was going to quit wring altogether but my fan kept me writing.
you will be back in under that, we will wait for you man.
Your story has been amazing, and I for one will miss you on this site. I will not un-favorte or un-watch if you return I'll be happy. if not then I wish you luck in what ever happens after you leave.
592669
You should feel proud of the fact that you've written 219,000 words alone. Do you know how many authors would have quit before that point or given up and stalled? But no, you've continued on, become better, and grown over time, something that not a lot of authors here have done. You have really accomplished an amazing feat and the fact that you write for yourself because you enjoy it just makes me respect you more. There was a reason that I first favorited your story, because it was interesting. Quite frankly, I loved it. There's always a chance that a story might never finish, but you know what? I don't see it as 12,000 wasted hours. I see it as 12,000 hours of pure excellence and enjoyment of an honestly amazing author who put more care, love, and passion into his work than I have seen in a long time. I love every single second that I've spent reading your story.
That's another thing, we are your followers, your loyal fans that you HAVE EARNED in every conventional sense of the word. I never faved or followed you because I just wanted to read your one story and leave; I faved your story because you are an amazing author, and your work brought me a sense of amazement that I cannot hope to describe in words. I follow you, because I respect you, and quite honestly, you're one of the ones who got me inspired to start writing fanfiction. Your work will always have a well deserved place on my wall and in my favorites. Just the fact that you're so passionate about this makes me awe inspired. And I don't think it's selfish that you wanted to be able to say that you could finish a story; I think that it's something to be respected. You had a respectable goal that you wanted to accomplish. Overall...
Well, I guess overall, I would just like to say that this story has been amazing, and one of the best I've read. I followed you because I respect you as an author, and I want to see what you come up with next. I did so because I believe in you, and I put my full confidence behind you. I'll eagerly await the day that your story is updated after those two years, and I'll still be following you all the way through. Thanks for inspiring me to write fanfiction, and thank you for all of the entertainment you've given me. I don't know if you'll read this post, but I just thought that I'd say that, because it needed to be said, and you deserve every bit of praise that you get.
~electreXcessive
I'll miss you...
Something religious? Humanitarian? A dare? Secret commando mission through the Amazon? Going undercover to bust up a drug ring? I'm super curious.
*thinks of the biggest cliffhangers you could feasibly end on*
No, no, we'll at least start the hiatus at a point where the readers can kinda assume the rest of it.
(They'll be wrong, of course)I've waited more than two years before for stories to continue. Heck, most professional authors take around about that time between novels. Don't worry I'm sure there will be plenty of people waiting patiently for when you return. Best of luck without whatever great adventure you're embarking on!
592677
Hah! Nowhere so exotic, trust me. Unless you consider the deserts of New Mexico exotic. Though, I'm told I'll have to brush up on my Navajo...
(Le derp: Re-reading this blog, I realize I didn't actually say where I was off to or why. I'll make a new one and clear that up later today, probably.)
593986
We'll talk.
594575
I just put two and two to make four. Stranger is loaded with imagery drawn from the Mormon church, and there are not many reasons someone would drop into radio silence for such an extended and specific period of time on a specific day in January. You can compound that with the fact that ponky talks a lot about it, and he's also leaving in January (to Italy according to his blog).
Though I don't consider New Mexico exotic per se, it is quite beautiful country.
594601
You know, it wasn't until I read your discussion questions in that group awhile back that I actually realized how much religion I put into my story, subconsciously and otherwise. I guess I just can't help it!
Heh heh... over-analysis indeed.
Incidentally, I did a bit of creeping, and found he and I are outbound on the same day. January 16th -- I listed the 14th as my last day here to give myself a bit of a buffer, since I have to travel to get to where I'm going. Assuming he's going to the same Missionary Training Center as I (though most stuff is learned in the field, all missionaries have a bit of a training period before they actually get sent out to learn some of the basics in lessons and such; and, in Ponky's case, I'm sure he'll get taught a bit of Italian), we might even see each other and not know it. That is, unless he manages to glimpse the Twilight Sparkle sticker plastered on my set of scriptures.
...Ponies and Jesus mix excellently.
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Please excuse me while I repeatedly bang my head on the desk.
-eye twitch-
... and then waste ... and then waste waste
-eye twitch- Do I have to smack a filly?
I think I'LL decide when my time has been wasted thank you very much.
You've earned my time, fav, and follow. The fact that you're not able to finish the story and won't be able to in two years is fine.
FINE YOU HEAR! 
You're posting and giving us a warning, which is more than I can say about many other authors who's works I love so very much (
) and I swear you're almost as dramatic as ME!! And yee think you've been "selfish" for doing something that you enjoy and then while knowing that you wouldn't be able to finish still pushed on because you enjoyed it? ...dear Celestia what will happen next? Only kinda decent movies becoming extremely popular and being considered "AWESOME" by the public at large because they have decent actors who are also "hot"? ...oh... wait... 
You're a silly goose me thinks! 
Now stop yeer worrying, brush yourself off, and get back on yer feet! I'll be sad to see this story go on such an extended hiatus but... well it can't be helped. I know one thing though, when you get back... I'll still be waiting!
PREPARING TEMPORARY PETRIFICATION... I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOU TO COME BACK MOOSE. NEVER FORGET THAT, YOUR READERS ARE WAITING.
After those two-plus years, are you going to come back and finish this?
611718
If this site still exists, if people remember my story, and if they are interested in seeing it continued, then yes, I absolutely will.
Let me tell you something.
Twelve years ago, I wrote a fic. It was a Harry Potter fic, because that's what was big twelve years ago. (Holy cow, has it been that long?) Now, I did finish that fic. In time for it to get totally jossed by The Order of the Phoenix, but I finished it.
I am still getting comments and faves on FanFiction.net twelve years later.
What I'm trying to say is, you have written an interesting, engrossing story. You have done some excellent world-building. If it takes two years before you can bring it to its end, that's okay. You won't be forgotten. You'll stay on my faves list, anyway, so that if/when you come back, it'll show up on my profile. And as several people have said, thank you for the advanced warning. There are so many fics that get abandoned with no explanation, it's nice to know you didn't just get bored of it.
Anyway, thank you! Thank you for writing, and I'm glad you've enjoyed it. That's the most important part.
(btw, speaking of how religion sneaks into fantasy, you do know that the same thing happened to Tolkien, right? He realized after he finished The Lord of the Rings that he had written "a very Catholic work"! So you're in good company there.)
624719
Really? That's amazing!
I am worried a small bit about the fandom... like, I know people say they'll be here in two years, but the site itself isn't even two years old! I don't think they're lying (and I'm certainly not), but who knows what it'll be like after so much time has gone by? Who knows if people will still feel that way?
I pray that this fandom persists. It's amazing, has done an unbelievable amount of good in my life, and sad will be the day that the last episode airs. On that note, I'm grateful for your comment. It really does give me hope, and I think it's something I needed to hear. Thank you.
625439
I know what you mean, worrying about the fandom. For me it's a case of "they're all so young!" and I don't think they know what they're in for, when some of their friends become disenchanted and leave, or canon goes a direction they really don't like, or somethine else cool comes along and everyone jumps on that bandwagon. (Old geek is old.)
On the other hand, what do I do about it? There's nothing I can do. Old geek is old, which means maybe I can help my fellow bronies with a listening ear and some advice, but other than that...
The fandom will be different in two years. It might be smaller. But it's been my experience that "true" fans never leave. They may get into somethng else, but the love they had for an older fandom doesn't die.
625439 I probably will be still here, even after two years and IF I'm not a Brony anymore; Ill probably still be here still reading because well, I love reading!