Story Review #7 · 7:20pm Nov 3rd, 2021

Story review #7: Fear Itself —by Moon Quil

Character’s:

Fear: I have to address the titular character of this fic first and all I can say is what an villain. He’s intimidating, terrifying, and inspiring all at the same time he’s kinda one-note but that’s sorta the point of his character he’s a being of pure evil. He’s Fear.
But before we move on to the other characters I want to bring up the traits I mentioned above: when I say he’s intimidating I mean his power level is pretty large and when I say terrifying I mean the way he messed with Celestia is pretty f-ed up but still pretty cool. And by inspiring I mean all us fanfiction writer should strive to be making OC’s who fulfill their roles so well.
(He’s not perfect but he is a lot more likable then most OC’S mine included.)

Celestia: She is pretty well written and enjoyed her struggle when it came to dealing with this evil malevolent entity she is fairly responsible for creating.

The other characters: They were decent but I don’t have much to say about them considering the focus is more geared to the other 2.

Premise: I’ll admit I was a little iffy when I first read the description and now that I’ve read it I’m still iffy on the concept. Because as much as I like Fear his origin and the premise of the lab were kinda rushed past and ignored for the most part.

Punctuation and Grammar: Must this curse plague every story I review. Once again a great story hindered by punctuation, spelling, and grammatical errors. As evident from the comments under the story pointing out many of the errors.

Dialogue: Other then Fear’s lines the dialogue can feel a bit blocky and unnatural but it’s usually pretty decent.

Flaws: The story suffer a little from the authors inexperience and you can tell but the biggest flaw is the pacing and the fact that some scenes are long 2000 something word conversations while other are 800 word everyone died reveals. And so I must mark the story down due to this.

Strengths: The OC is by far the best part of this story alongside the Psychological terror he rains on his “mother” Celestia and that is something I think Moon Quil could do in the future….
….More Horror stories because that seems to be his biggest strength and could be really good if he works on the pacing.

I Recommend you check it out and form you’re own opinion and I’ll keep an eye on Moon Quil to see what his future stories bring.

Rating: 4/10 Derpy’s