My stories, a look back - #6: Starlight's Secret · 11:24pm Aug 20th, 2021
I still have no idea how I managed to get away with this one.
If I had to guess, I'd say it's because the story holds its cards very close to its chest - the title is nondescript, the cover doesn't give anything away, the description only vaguely alludes to what the secret actually is, it's E-rated, there are no Fetish tags, and if you weren't paying close attention you might not notice the disclaimer that "This is an Adult Baby fic".
Breaking my usual habit, this is an original story that doesn't take place in someone else's continuity, although it is inspired by Twily's Alone Time by Zubric, which was an adorable little fic of Twilight indulging in some innocent ageplay fun by herself.
Zubric's story was a nice fluffy one-shot, but since I am incapable of writing anything that doesn't have a dramatic twist in it, I set my sights on something a little less straightforward. I think I had already noted Starlight as a possible candidate for an Adult Baby - we've seen in the show that she is something of a broken individual, and it seemed logical to me that she might turn to infantilism as a coping mechanism.
Unfortunately, being an Adult Baby in a world where ponies, and more specifically your mentor, can teleport directly into your room, comes with some difficulties.
In spite of my previous claim that I don't use prereaders, this one actually was pre-read by a friend - I can't remember exactly how that came about, but I suspect I was nervous about publishing this one, considering the content.
Starlight's Secret
Twilight finds out that Starlight Glimmer is secretly an Adult Baby.
April 2016
Sad, Slice of Life
Apparently I learned nothing from Silver Spoon has a Nightmare, because this story opens with a scene from Spike's Power Ponies comic book. I was never happy with this opening. It's a very lazy way to open a fic - the comic book has no bearing on the plot, it's just a way to segue into the intro.
So, enjoy three paragraphs of pointless ham until the story starts, at which point we learn that Twilight is leaving Starlight alone at the castle for the first time, and is fretting that she hasn't prepared Starlight well enough for it. This story came out shortly after the start of Season 5, the beginning of Starlight's reformation, so Twilight is still new to the whole "being a mentor" thing.
We return to Spike's comic book briefly - as much as I dislike it, at least it is being used to drive the story at this point, by allowing the action to cut back and forth between Spike and Twilight's very different takes on the situation - Twilight is having a usual meltdown, but Spike is just keeping things cool and trying to calm her down.
Twilight eventually manages to find a reason to go back and check on Starlight, and teleports back to the castle and straight into Starlight's room, where she finds Starlight dressed up like an infant, diaper and all. Whoops.
Neither of the two have any idea how to react to this sudden, intensely awkward situation, and they heroically attempt to just pretend like it's not happening, which lasts a few moments before the elephant in the room really has to be addressed.
Overcome with humiliation, Starlight breaks down crying, and has to be comforted by Twilight. This whole scene is honestly one of my favorite things that I've written - the way Starlight's façade crumbles away in front of Twilight, in spite of her efforts, and Twilight stepping in to try to fix the damage that she's done.
Twilight offers to show Starlight something that she hopes will make her feel better, which is the castle room that she made up for her brother in "The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows". I can't remember where exactly I got the idea to tie it into this episode, but I remembered that people had noted that the room seemed rather more like a child's bedroom than one would expect for a unicorn prince, and so I decided to imply that Shining Armor, too, has Adult Baby leanings, which explains Twilight's familiarity with the concept.
Having cheered Starlight up, Twilight leaves, but not before giving Starlight an unexpected motherly kiss on the forehead. I deliberately played up Twilight's motherly nature in this fic - she is, after all, the main "parental" figure in Starlight's life, and I wanted to suggest that maybe, Twilight is open to the possibility of being a caretaker in Starlight's Adult Foal fantasy.
Starlight's Secret got a very warm reception from the ABDL community on Fimfiction, which I was pleased about - it was even voted the second-best ABDL fic of 2016 by both SuperPinkBrony12 and Wandering Pigeon, two big names in the pony AB community:
"It's quite a surprise to see an AB fic with the everyone rating, but I think that just further helps this fic to stand out. While we see Starlight in diapers and sucking on a pacifier, the focus isn't on that but on the discovery that Twilight makes. As one commenter pointed out, this captures how a lot of AB/DLs would react if anyone ever found out about their interest. And it's nice to see that Starlight lent herself well to padded fics. Like with the entry directly below it, it leaves you wanting more, which is a sure sign that it's done something right." -- SuperPinkBrony12
"Adorable accurately sums up this fic. It's strongest point is it's downright cute portrayal of Starlight and Twilight's relationship and how the dynamic changes when Starlight's affinity for ABDL is discovered. The fic doesn't do much to go beyond that, but the execution of what it has is good enough for it to stand as its own fic." -- Wandering Pigeon
Having re-read it, I agree with the main point of criticism - this fic isn't long enough. It doesn't explore Starlight's feelings and motivations as thoroughly as I would like, which is a little unsatisfying. Certainly feels like there could have been more. But the stuff that is there, I'm quite happy with.
I do actually have the draft of a sequel to this fic - in Starlight's Secret 2, Starlight is trying to befriend Vinyl Scratch as part of a friendship lesson, the challenge being that Vinyl is mute, so she has to find alternative ways to communicate. However, it turns out that Vinyl is an Adult Foal too, and they end up bonding over that. I wrote a first chapter for this which I really like, but never got far into plotting the rest of the story.
Trivia
* Starlight notices the hole in the wall of the guest room that was made by Pinkie in "The One Where Pinkie Pie Knows".
Good stuff
* SPIKE: "Twilight, she's not a baby.". Oh, the foreshadowing.
* As in all of my fics, Spike is portrayed as the competent assistant that he is, and it's eventually revealed that he knew Starlight's secret all along. As I said before, I like to suggest that Spike is the dragon to go to when you need to get hold of something unorthodox, and so he's the reason Starlight was able to get hold of the foal supplies that she has.
* I was happy to be able to include the detail of Starlight wearing her mane in twin pigtails when she's indulging her little side, a callback to her appearance in the childhood flashback in "The Cutie Re-mark".
Bad stuff
* As mentioned, I hate the opening.
* Starlight flatly says that Pinkie isn't an Adult Foal, but it's never explained how she knows this, and to be honest, even I'm not entirely sure.
* Starlight refers to her old village as "Our Town", which I don't really like as a name. She should have just said "the village".
*Waves to Hawthorn in his alternate universe and /or bad acid trip where everything regarding Starlight happened one season earlier*
Hey, I’ve actually read this one before!
Having basically no experience with adult baby fics whatsoever, and feeling they would normally be off-putting to me, this played itself very well by approaching the matter logically and honestly. I liked a lot of the little touches you mention, like the use of the room made for Shining Armor, Spike being in on Starlight’s secret. And also Starlight having to put this on hold while in her Cult Village (hey, there’s the term your should have used!
)
It’s perhaps true that as honest and sincere as this is, it doesn’t go as in-depth as it could have to produce something truly emotionally probing, but as a little side story that is sad but also uplifting at the same time (and hey! Real life is sad and uplifting simultaneously), it’s got the goods. I liked this one.
The motherly side of Twilight’s is nice, as is the forehead kiss. But personally, I’ve always though Starlight was actually older then Twilight - Twi herself can’t have been any older then college age at the series’ start, My Little Chronology proved it can’t have been more then just-under-two-years from the series’ start through to Season 6, and Starlight had clearly been running her Cult Village as an adult for a long time. It’s a telling sign that when I ask anyone how long they think Starlight had been running it, they almost invariably answer “since before the series’ start). Course, discussing Starlight’s age isn’t helped by how her different characterisation of “middle-aged cultist in “The Cutie Map” fades to be more along of the lines of the Mane 6 when she becomes a regular, even swapping out her out cultist manecut for something more long and youthful like her new friends (and, of course, Kelly Shierdan’s change to the character’s vocal tone).
Point to that? Not much. Just noting how that kiss reminded me how Starlight is actually older then Twilight, beyond a shadow of a doubt.
I'm no expert, so take it with a grain of salt. As someone with the (sometimes morbid) curiosity required to stick my nose in a wide variety of places (which aren't always good for it), I have a guess.
In a vacuum, it doesn't take much to realize that the ideas behind these subcultures (e.g. ab/dl, furry, bdsm (though I hear that the bdsm subculture is a little more established and responsible for itself)) aren't strictly sexual, or even all that alien at their core.
but
I don't know why exactly, but it seems unlikely for experienced writers to be willing to write content about/for these subcultures, leaving a relative vacuum of quality relevant media. All too often, this seems to lead to heaps of low-quality work from (sometimes prolific) amateurs (do the experts even exist within? or do they just keep their cards close?) within the subculture -- often self-selected for those willing to proclaim their membership loudly to all. The majority of media that I have yet come across in the wild myself have either been severely limited in quality and/or (usually 'and') are focused on either the fetish or the ideas/experiences of the subculture that the fetish is based on, even if not presented in a sexual light.
This doesn't look great to most anyone outside of the specific subculture, hence the resultant bad reputation and downvotes/etc..
Starlight's Secret doesn't just happen to not have a fetish tag, it's not really about the Adult Baby content with Starlight as a vector as it is about the fact that Starlight is an Adult Baby. I think it might be a more holistic perspective that is lacking on average, no matter what the focus of the media is supposed to be.