My stories, a look back - #2: Fillyswap · 11:44pm Aug 14th, 2021
After the surprise success of Read it and Sneak, I felt excited and emboldened by this new writing venture, and launched headlong into a new project. Ooh boy, that was a mistake.
For Fillyswap, I deliberately tried to write chapter-by-chapter with only a rough plan and no real idea of what lay ahead. I knew some vague story beats that I wanted to hit but otherwise I just wanted to see where it led.
Even back then, I knew that I wasn't very good at this kind of off-the-cuff writing, but it was early days and I was young, excited, and ready to experiment.
I can't remember where exactly the idea for Fillyswap came from, but bodyswap/Freaky Friday stories are something I've always loved, and I'm a big fan of the CMC and their circle of school companions, particularly Twist, Silver Spoon, and Diamond Tiara, so I guess this was kind of a natural step.
I don't think I've read this one in literal years, so this should be interesting. Fillyswap is somehow my longest story, so the recap is a bit long-winded; feel free to skip to the end.
Fillyswap
The Mane Six wake to find themselves having swapped bodies with various fillies.
February 2013
Comedy, Random
Twilight wakes up to find that she's swapped bodies with Twist. Being Twilight, she figures immediately that it's a bodyswap situation, but can't do a whole lot about it because Twist is an earth pony so she don't gots no magic. She does, however, have terrible eyesight and a lisp, marking the beginning of my fascination with phonetic accents in dialogue.
Twilight tries to explain to Twist's mom that she's swapped bodies with her daughter, and Twist's mom thinks she's play-acting. Honestly it's adorable hearing Twist talking all serious like a grown-up.
Twilight realizes it's a waste of time to try to convince her when there's a filly out there controlling the body of the most powerful unicorn in Equestria, so she runs off. Reading back, I actually really like this opening. Twilight's actions feel perfectly realistic to me.
After a scolding from her mom, Twilight gets sent off to school, and tries to explain the situation to Cheerilee, but that doesn't work either because nobody listens to you when you're a kid. Instead she settles in for a lesson, which she's into because it's Twilight. The lesson is about the Post-Unification Era, another bit of worldbuilding from me, since this sounds like a plausible historical name for what happened after the three pony tribes founded Equestria.
Also, because it's Twilight, she keeps correcting Cheerilee and gets told off for it.
After the lesson, Diamond Tiara approaches Twilight and says something that clearly indicates she is actually Fluttershy, which is the chapter cliffhanger and indicates that the bodyswap problem is affecting more than just Twilight.
You know what? I actually really like that first chapter. It's a bit clunky in places but I feel like I got Twilight spot on. It sets up an interesting situation, explores it in a realistic way, and ends with a hook that indicates a deeper mystery afoot. Maybe there is a reason people like this one so much. XD
Chapter 2 switches to Apple Bloom - I remember that my plan was to switch back-and-forth between adult and filly characters. Apple Bloom wakes up to find herself in Applejack's body, and we encounter Return of the Phonetic Accents Part 2, because this is a fic where Applejack/Apple Bloom's accent is fully transliterated, with all of the requisite "Ah"s.
Apple Bloom also figures out pretty quickly that it's a bodyswap, although she has the advantage that she knows the pony she's swapped with.
Applejack ain't none too happy about the situation and orders AB to stay put, but - in a scene I really love - Apple Bloom realizes she doesn't have to do what she's told any more. Hey, where have I seen that before?
Okay, dammit, this chapter's great too. XD I love Apple Bloom's mischievous taunting once she realizes that nopony can stop her doing what she wants.
Chapter 3 is Rarity! Rarity gets woken by her parents, and being half-asleep it takes her a few moments to realize that she doesn't live with her parents any more. That was, I believe, a reference to those dreams you get where you're somehow back at school even though you should know you left school decades ago. Rarity has swapped with Sweetie Belle, because the CMC all swapped with their sisters for no adequately explored reason.
Rarity realizes that Sweetie Belle must be in her body, and suddenly there's a ridiculous imagine spot in which Rarity envisions the worst case scenario of Sweetie Belle running the Carousel Boutique. I usually find dreams and imaginary scenarios in stories a little tedious, but this one is great because it's clear that Rarity is blowing the whole thing ridiculously out of proportion and making her sister out to be an absolute idiot. In hindsight, the whole thing is a bit clunky and cringy, but it has a bunch of gags that I still think are great.
And we also get Revenge of the Return of the Phonetic Accents 3: This Time It's Uvular, as Fleur de Lis is in the sequence and she's French.
Rarity too figures out the bodyswap immediately - you know, I have a feeling I really wanted to avoid any tedious sequences of characters slowly piecing things together. There's a bit of meta-commentary on ponyfic tropes as Rarity just assumes that the whole thing is Twilight's fault, which it usually is in pony fics.
Rarity leaves the house and I take care to mention the nearby river, because canonically Sweetie Belle's house is next to one and geographic details are something I like to get correct when possible. Then she gets hit in the face by a tortoise, because comedy.
We next move to Scootaloo, and the chapter intro indicates that this is just after "Sleepless in Ponyville", as Scoots now has Rainbow Dash as a big sister and is sleeping in Dash's house. As I mentioned, I don't think we see enough of Chez Dash, and I always enjoy taking the opportunity to just show ponies in their homes. The show is always too busy with adventuring and we rarely really get to see the places where ponies just chill.
Anyway this chapter switches things up by having Scoots and Dash - who have swapped bodies - wake up together, so they immediately know what's going on.
Scoots gets way too overexcited to be in Dash's body and is determined to solve the problem herself, so she flies off, completely forgetting that this would trap Dash in the house since Scootaloo's body can't fly.
At this point the stories finally start to properly intersect, as Scootaloo encounters Applejack (in Apple Bloom's body). AJ also figures Twilight is responsible, because this fic just won't stop with the meta-commentary. And Scootaloo kindly airlifts AJ to town, because it's cute and why wouldn't you, if you can fly? We also get to see Scootaloo experience some of the euphoria of flight, busting clouds and having fun. It's cute. One of the clouds that she busts drenches Fluttershy in a later chapter, because this story is all interconnected and stuff.
Next chapter is Fluttershy's, and - oh no - it opens with a dream sequence. Argh.
I'm always incredibly wary of dream sequences in my fics. Since nothing in a dream is actually happening, every moment you spend in a dream is wasting the reader's time - so you've got to give them something really good. Was this one good? Eh, not really. It's only there because otherwise every chapter would start in a very similar way, and that would get tedious fast. I think Fillyswap just about manages to avoid the tedium by adding something new and fun in every introduction.
The dream starts with Fluttershy standing in front of the pegasus tornado in "Hurricane Fluttershy", confronting her fears like she did in the episode. However, Princess Luna is also there, eating popcorn. I know that I did this deliberately to subvert the dream fakeout cliche, by letting readers know immediately that they're watching a dream. That way they're in on it and won't feel like they're being tricked.
The sequence implies that Luna enjoys watching dreams for fun and has seen this one before, an obvious meta-commentary on bronies enjoying MLP. She even materializes a screen to watch the action, and Spike approves of the high resolution, which I think was meant to be funny but isn't really. Honestly I think the whole dream sequence is not as clever as I thought it was at the time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't hold it in much regard even then.
Anyway, Luna departs, and the dream starts turning into a nightmare. The nightmare sequence feels really out of place actually, considering that the story has been lighthearted up to now. Fluttershy wakes up and finds that she's in Diamond Tiara's body, because she's about the most opposite of Diamond out of the Mane Six.
Fluttershy heads to town, and hits a new problem - Silver Spoon! Spoony's in this fic! Well now it's a great fic. Fluttershy, of course, has no idea who Silver Spoon is, and Spoony won't believe her story, so she's just kinda trying to play along, which sorta goes fine up until they have to start doing some bullying. Naturally Flutters ain't gonna stand for that, so she uses The Stare on Silver, which finally convinces her - in very dramatic fashion - that this isn't Diamond after all.
(Interestingly, Fluttershy's later canonical use of The Stare on Discord reminded me a lot of my own usage, so I was quite pleased about that. :) )
Silver Spoon actually isn't part of the bodyswapping shenanigans, which I remember being a deliberate choice, although I don't remember why I made that choice. I suspect it might have seemed too obvious, what with me being one of Fimfiction's foremost Silver Spoon fans, and I'm addicted to subverting what I believe people's expectations are.
Fluttershy ends up going to school with Silver, so we now get the other side of Twilight's chapter from Fluttershy's perspective. I think I did quite well to avoid repeating myself, since we get some back-and-forth here between Fluttershy and Silver Spoon and there's character development and stuff as Fluttershy is successfully making Silver feel bad about being a bully.
Fluttershy figures out that Twist is actually Twilight, and confronts her after the lesson, which picks up this story thread again. Twilight immediately realizes it's Fluttershy due to her shy apologetic tone, which is maybe a bit unrealistic, but this seems to be the fic where everypony figures everything out quickly so I guess it's consistent at least.
And after all this intriguing setup... it just ends. There is no more story. I simply ran out of steam and into a brick wall on this one - I could not think how to continue the story from this point. Despite my intentions and much cajoling from fans, I eventually cancelled the fic.
Even incomplete, Fillyswap remains one of my most-loved stories - I still get people asking if I will finish it. Now that I've read back through it, I'm starting to see why. It is not especially well-written, but it clips along at a reasonable pace, sets up a whole load of stuff and it seems like there's a really intriguing interconnected story in there - the cliffhangers and the way plot threads weave in and out of each other are kinda good.
But alas, there is no grand plan for this fic. There never was. I have no idea how to continue it - I don't even really know what actually causes the bodyswap, to be honest, I never got that far.
In terms of writing quality, a lot of amateurishness still shows through - there's a bunch of padding all over the place, and it seems clear that my strategy was to make the padding enjoyable enough that people don't realize it. I think I did rather well to keep it up for 5 chapters, considering.
I did start trying to write Twist's chapter and I still have the draft in my notes. The short version:
- Twist wakes up in Twilight's library, realizes she's a unicorn, and gets very excited at being able to do magic.
- Fearing that Twilight has gone insane, Spike tries to enact an emergency protocol that Twilight came up with herself following the Want-It-Need-It incident, which gives Spike permission to do anything necessary to restrain Twilight in the event that she goes bonkers.
- Unfortunately Twist is a bit mad with her new power, and mind-controls Spike to make him believe she's really Twilight. She then hatches a plan to find Twilight (in her body) and mind-control her too, so that she can keep the bodyswap going.
- There was a whole bit where Twist has to bluff her way through a meeting with the Mayor, which I made several attempts at but couldn't come up with anything satisfying.
- It would have been explained that Twist is using magic the way an earth pony would; simply brute forcing spells to get them to work, which is very dangerous.
Other stuff that never made it in:
- Sweetie Belle's opening would have played off of Rarity's disastrous imaginary scenario by simply showing that actually, Sweetie does have everything well in hand, and she immediately does the sensible thing of closing the Boutique for the day.
- While it's not in my notes, I'm pretty sure my plan for Rainbow Dash (in Scootaloo's body) was to have her try to ride Tank down to the ground. This would be why Rarity later gets hit in the head with a tortoise, which is itself a reference to "Just For Sidekicks". Even with just the first three seasons of the show, there's so much material to work with!
- I never decided who Pinkie was going to swap with. I think I was going for Peachy Pie, reasoning that they're cousins or something.
- Hey, there was even a "Rainbow Miriam Dash" reference in there.
Trivia
* The use of "furlong" as a distance measurement shows up again. See, consistent worldbuilding!
* Scootaloo mentions an emergency beacon relay system that the CMC set up, which I'm pretty sure was a reference to the beacons of Minas Tirith from Lord of the Rings.
* Sweetie Belle's town is named as "Twinmill Creek". This is more worldbuilding - I'd always felt that Sweetie Belle's home was in some village adjacent to Ponyville, as that's what it seemed like in "One Bad Apple" when we see her house for the first time. In that episode, there's also this strange mill which is a combination windmill/watermill:
And it's by a river, so, Twinmill Creek. I kinda liked it.
* Fluttershy mentions "blinkfrog spawn". This is probably the only reference to Dungeon Crawl Stone Soup you'll find on Fimfiction. (Blink frogs - themselves a play on the blink dogs of Dungeons & Dragons - are an enemy encountered in the dungeon).
* Silver Spoon uses the curse "les archets" which is French for "bows" (as in violin bows). My headcanon was that Silver Spoon's family is French (or "Prench", rather), so she swears in French. Why "bows"? It's an inter-language pun - Silver is actually saying "fiddlesticks", which is an English bowdlerization of the F-word. I'm sure I thought this was ingenious at the time, since I definitely used it in another fic. Curses are another way that I enjoy adding characterization, since everyone swears a bit differently.
Good stuff
* The Apples have a cockerel called "Crestopher". I'm not sorry.
Bad stuff
* If you don't like phonetic accents, you will absolutely hate this fic. I mean, I do like them, but I wouldn't do them nowadays since they hamper readability and accessibility.
* I attempted a Douglas Adams-esque joke where the story first describes a problem with Rainbow Dash's front door, suggesting that it's difficult to enter the house, and then adds that the house is 100 ft up in the air so nobody can reach it anyway. I see what I was going for but it's a bit contrived and breaks the flow.
* There's a gag where Scootaloo recalls an analogy Dash taught her about gravity, which quickly turns into a diatribe as it's clear that Dash lost her train of thought and started rambling about somepony who owes her money. It's kinda funny, but it doesn't really fit the tone of this lighthearted comedy romp.
And now to beat a dead horse... is there any conceivable chance for an overhaul and rewrite?
That's like, most of my fics.
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None that I can see! I gave up on this fic a long time ago.
Someone should make a G5 Fillyswap and abandon that too, to keep the tradition alive :)
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Nowadays I keep slightly better notes, so if I'd written this fic today I'd probably have a better idea of the reasoning behind my decisions. :)
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Did you ever have an ending in mind? Also, I really loved this entire blog and it's a really good idea; I bet it's cathartic?
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Nope, I never planned an ending, other than that they would eventually somehow find a way to reverse the swaps.
There is a certain satisfaction in being able to confess my writing sins, yes. :) I feel it has enabled me to look at my fics with a bit of perspective and notice some improvements along the way.
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I don't think unfinished projects are our sins. They're stepping stones to greatness.