Start, begin, almost, just, maybe... Removing weasel words from your novel · 11:42pm Mar 25th, 2021
While applying the final polish on The Runaway Bodyguard (new chapter Fridays), I noticed that “weasel words” had crept back into my writing. It’s not that “I started to notice that my writing is long winded,” it’s that, “I noticed that my writing is long winded,” and came to accept that, “My writing is long winded.” When a publisher first returned a manuscript for revision, the editor pointed out this tendency. Very embarrassing!
Making such changes is profound, turning hesitancy into decisive action... maybe, mostly, usually. It removes extra words, making your writing more concise, more hard edged*. Each and every word should serve a purpose, whether functional or aesthetic. You must decide, not reflex. Watch your word count go down as a metric.
The bottom line: Look at these words. Should they stay? Should they go? Does the writing have meta need for a word, construction, or phrase? Does the sentence work better when you purge the weasel word?
Choppiness can result, but that’s another topic.
Don’t do this work as you are write your first draft. You’ll never finish.
My Weasel Words
- about
- almost
- “and” conjuction run-ons. Could you break that sentence into two and save the conjunction?
- barely
- begin
- “but” conjunction run-ons. Could you break that sentence and two and still provide the same contrast?
- certainly
- “I (or he) saw that” constructions. “I heard that”, “I read that”, “I felt that”, “I recognized that”, etc... “I recognized a constable trotting up,” becomes, “A constable trotted up.” Look at the sentence. Judge whether you can state it is happening or it did happen directly. If the act of observation is paramount, don’t remove.
- just
- kind of
- maybe
- mostly
- near (in the sense of almost)
- of course
- one (in the sense of quantity when stating such is unnecessary)
- perhaps
- possibly
- potentially (in the sense of maybe)
- probably
- really
- some (in the sense of indeterminate)
- sort of
- start(ed)
- still
- "that" is a latinate construction that can often be omitted when used to introduce a subordinate clause, but not always. Comprehension is paramount.
- usually
- you can (verb)
*Hard edged vs softening. All these “weasel” words “soften” the impact, make it less like a command—seemingly more polite and less assertive. This is how Fluttershy talks. This how a peasant talks to a samurai. Soft. You don’t want to do that in your narrative, that is, when you program your reader’s brain interface (RBI). You are commanding your reader how experience your story. You are the Feudal Lord to the Samurai. Softening adds vagueness. It adds unnecessary length between interesting events. Ultimately, it frustrates.
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yesss these bother me so often
"Her tears poured down almost like rain" and similar phrases make me thereafter go, "But they didn't."
They were almost like rain, but not quite. I'm not sure why it was even mentioned. :B