Friendship is Card Games: The Flash Sentry Papers, Part 2 · 1:14pm Dec 27th, 2020
So. Since IDW interprets “Available December 2020” as “Available one or more seconds before January 2021,” we’re going to cycle back to the Flash Sentry Papers and cover the back half of Tumbleweed’s compiled archive.
Well, that was the plan, anyway. Octavia's Eleven is so packed with ideas that between it and Murder Most Equestrian, I had more than enough material to work with. I can think of few things more thematically appropriate for this Flash than a larger assignment than was initially projected. Let’s see what we can work with in this leg of it:
Tactical Humility W
Instant
Prevent all damage that would be dealt to and dealt by target creature this turn.
“The key to living as a hero is knowing when not to act like one.”
—Flash Sentry
The Phoenix Stallionvarius 1W
Legendary Artifact
During each of your turns, you may cast a Song spell from your graveyard.
The great craftspony Stallionvarius created instruments still unmatched in beauty and sound. Each is highly sought after to this day.
Assigned to Yakyakistan 2W
Snow Enchantment
When Assigned to Yakyakistan enters the battlefield, exile target nonsnow, nonland permanent an opponent controls until Assigned to Yakyakistan leaves the battlefield
2S: Exile Assigned to Yakyakistan, then return it to the battlefield under its owner’s control. (S can be paid with one mana from a snow source.)
Bodyguard Duty 2W
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature gets +3/+3 and can’t attack or block alone.
Orders are orders, no matter how obnoxious they may be.
Burning Reflux 2W
Sorcery
Choose one —
• Target creature deals damage equal to its power to itself.
• Destroy target Dragon.
Fire in the belly longs to escape its prison.
Deliberate Flop U
Instant
Counter target spell you control. Draw cards equal to that spell’s converted mana cost.
Once the producers found a way to profit off of a critical failure, they eagerly bought the rights to Springtime for Sombra.
Beautiful Plumage 1U
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature you control with flying
Enchanted creature gets +2/+2 and has hexproof.
“Wings aren’t the only thing I notice in a mare, but they definitely help.”
—Flash Sentry
Canterlot Stagehoof 2U
Creature — Pony Citizen
Skulk (This creature can’t be blocked by creatures with greater power.)
Whenever Canterlot Stagehoof attacks and isn’t blocked, you may pay U and return it to its owner’s hand. If you do, you may put an artifact card from your hand to the battlefield.
1/3
Twilight’s Annotations 2U
Enchantment
At the beginning of each player’s draw step, that player draws an additional card.
Hoofcraft — At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control three or more Ponies, Pegasi, and/or Unicorns, scry 2.
Always enlightening, sometimes readable.
Flim, Social Engineer 3U
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Artificer
Partner with Flam, Confidence Pony (When this creature enters the battlefield, target player may put Flam into their hand from their library, then shuffle.)
Whenever an opponent casts a spell, you create a Treasure token unless that player pays 1. (It’s an artifact with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.)
2/3
Baleful Beverage 1B
Instant
Target creature gets -2/-2 until end of turn. If that creature’s controller is poisoned, it gets -4/-4 until end of turn instead.
“Hazelnut! Who puts nuts in coffee? I might as well chew on a pine cone!”
—Trixie Lulamoon, traveling performer
Nameless Assassin 1B
Creature — Pony Assassin
Deathtouch
Morph 1BB (You may cast this card face down as a 2/2 creature for 3. Turn it face up any time for its morph cost.)
When Nameless Assassin is turned face up, it gains first strike until end of turn.
1/3
Twilit Flailing 2B
Instant
All creatures get +1/-1 until end of turn.
Storm (When you cast this spell, copy it for each spell cast before it this turn.)
“Her Highness’s dancing may be Equestria’s greatest secret weapon.”
—Flash Sentry
Flam, Confidence Pony 4B
Legendary Creature — Unicorn Rogue
Partner with Flim, Social Engineer
Whenever you sacrifice an artifact or creature, you may pay 1. If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life.
3/3
Coffee Runner R
Creature — Pony Minion
1R: Creatures you control gain haste until end of turn.
Good interns are like mechanics, lubricating the theater with copious amounts of caffeine.
1/1
Duel to the Death 1R
Sorcery
Target creature you control fights target creature you don’t control. Then the controller of the creature you don’t control may have Duel to the Death deal 3 damage to them. If they do, they copy this spell and choose new targets for the copy.
Royal Seduction 3R
Sorcery
This spell costs 3 less to cast if it targets a creature with alicorn.
Gain control of target creature until end of turn. Untap that creature. It gains haste until end of turn.
Flash knew it was a bad plan, but it was the only one they had.
Lair Collapse 3RR
Sorcery
Lair Collapse deals X damage to target creature, where X is the number of artifacts and lands that creature’s controller controls.
“Volcano lairs may look imposing, but they come with some downsides.”
—Daring Do
Spitespire Players 4R
Creature — Pony Band
Finale — Whenever you sacrifice a Song, you may pay 2R. If you do, create a 4/4 red Dragon creature with flying.
The audience may be more interested in the value of their instruments, but they still come to listen.
3/3
Bluescale Border Guard 4RR
Creature — Dragon
Flying
Whenever a non-Dragon creature enters the battlefield, Bluescale Border Guard deals 2 damage to it.
The Bluescale clan has kept the flammable races out of the Dragon Lands for millennia.
4/4
Trogdor, the Burninator 5RR
Legendary Creature — Dragon
Flying, trample
R: Target creature becomes a Peasant until end of turn.
Whenever Trogdor, the Burninator deals combat damage to a player, you may pay 2R. If you do, destroy target land that player controls and Trogdor deals 1 damage to each Peasant.
7/7
The Show Must Go On 2G
Instant
This spell can’t be countered
Create a 2/2 green Pony creature token for each creature that died under your control this turn.
“Call in the understudies. We’re still opening tomorrow.”
—Canter Zoom, director
Perils of Ponyville 5G
Enchantment
At the beginning of your end step, look at the top card of your library. If it’s a creature card, you may put it onto the battlefield.
“Never a dull moment in this town.”
—Princess Twilight Sparkle
Wall of Speakers 4
Artifact Creature — Wall
Defender
3: Copy target triggered ability you control. You may choose new targets for the copy. (A triggered ability uses the words “when,” “whenever,” or “at.”)
“They don’t just go to eleven. They start there.”
—Vinyl Scratch
2/4
Curse of the Pegasus Play WB
Enchantment — Aura Curse
Enchant player
When Curse of the Pegasus Play enters the battlefield, look at enchanted player’s hand, then choose a card name.
Whenever enchanted player casts a spell with the chosen name, that player loses 4 life.
Miss Maple, Chief Inspector GWU
Legendary Creature — Pony Advisor
Flash
When Miss Maple enters the battlefield, investigate for each creature that died this turn. (To investigate, create a colorless Clue artifact token with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
Miss Maple has hexproof as long as you sacrificed a Clue this turn.
2/2
Ditzy, Ever Reliable 2WU
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Scout
This spell can’t be countered
Flying
Spells you cast can’t be countered.
Prevent all noncombat damage that would be dealt to you and other permanents you control.
Ponyville needs no dead letter office.
2/4
Hack the Map 2WB
Instant
If another player would search their library this turn, instead you search your library for a card, put that card into your hand, then shuffle your library.
Every mission is meant to be in one way or another.
Diamondback’s Hoard 3(ur)B
Artifact
When Diamondback’s Hoard enters the battlefield, exile all artifact cards from your opponents’ graveyards until Diamondback’s Hoard leaves the battlefield.
During each of your turns, you may play a card exiled with Diamondback’s Hoard.
Drake Diamondback 3UBR
Legendary Creature — Dragon
Flying, menace
Whenever a Dragon you control attacks, create a Treasure token.
Sacrifice four Treasures: Gain control of target artifact or creature. Activate this ability only any time you could cast a sorcery.
5/5
The Spitespire
Legendary Land
T: Add R.
2R, T: Target Dragon creature you control deals damage equal to its power to target non-Dragon creature.
Equal parts bustling metropolis and volcanic hellscape.
Trogdor. Now there's a name I haven't heard in a long time. (Sorry, not sorry).
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Storm is not optional and creatures with 0 toughness or less will die between when any given spell resolves and combat damage being dealt, so Twilit Flailing is less of a buff spell and more of a boardwipe. As it should be.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: Red has a lot of non-Dragons with 2 or less toughness, and Bluescale Border Guard doesn't actually care that they're theoretically on his or her side (I haven't read the story).
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: The "Rocks Fall, Everyone Dies" is strong with Lair Collapse; counting the two main sources of mana means that there are very few situations in which the target will survive... wait, target? Okay, turns out only one thing is actually dying.
Inside Baseball Alert: Trogdor the Burninator! Burninating the countryside! Burninating the Peasants, and their thatch-roofed cottages (which are an Aura enchanting the countryside, because that's how MtG tends to represent that sort of thing)! *chef's kiss*
Inside Baseball Alert: The Ponyville post office is occasionally called on to deliver letters to the dark god of a chaos dimension, and that's just in canon. "Ever Reliable" is putting it lightly, to say the least.
I wonder if anypony in history ever dares to tell Twilight that her dancing is just that awful...
Ixalon did teach us that Grixis is the Colors of Piracy, so I suppose Diamondback's ability is fitting.
And I do appreciate how The Burninator burninates both all the peasants and the countryside, but what about the Thatch-Roof COTTAGES?!
Dashing as ever. Wish you well times and fast access to the hidden troves of IDW properties.
Perils of Ponyville should affect all players to make it far more perilous.
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I forgot to provide a link in my explanation of that part, so here you go. When Trogdor burninates the countryside, any Auras like Farmstead attached to said countryside are sent to the graveyard as well.
Hack the Map presumably would be played in response to another player using a card/ability that allowed them to search. But am I correct in thinking that it would apply to any other searches that happened for the rest of the turn, even though Hack the Map would at that point be fully resolved, and in the graveyard?
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Correct. Though they could hurry to use any other instant speed searches in response to Hack the Map and have them go off first, anything slower would be subject to the effect, if played.
If two players cast it on the same turn and a search effect happened, I think it would result in an unresolveable infinite loop of 'No, I search!" "No, I search!".
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I am so happy that Octavia's Eleven gave me the excuse to make a Trogdor card. (He's even explicitly called "the Burninator" in the story.) The specifics of his damage trigger are based on Scorch the Fields, or, as it was known in playtesting, Burninate the Countryside. Of course, between Peasant actually being a creature type now and Equestria's marked lack of humans, shifting the creature type felt entirely appropriate.
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I actually had to double-check this situation. (Thanks, Gather Specimens!) If multiple people cast Hack the Map this turn, the person who actually used a search effect chooses another player who cast it. Then, if any players other than the chosen player cast Hack the Map this turn, that player chooses one of them. Replacement effects only apply once per replaceable event (which is why two Anointed Processions only give you quadruple tokens and not infinitely many,) so it does eventually stop once people run out of active map-hacks to acknowledge, at which point the last person chosen finally gets to look for that card.
At that point, I'm pretty sure the Palace-Tree gets fed up with all the nonsense and scrambles her passwords.