• Member Since 27th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago


Fixation on death aside, this is lovely —Soge, accidentally describing my entire life

More Blog Posts62


The best year of my life (so far) · 9:02pm Dec 19th, 2020

I feel super ashamed even writing this post because it has been a horrific year in general for most people. And writing about my own personal good fortune in such an awful year feels like an exercise in extreme narcissism. And it sounds like bragging? I feel like I shouldn't talk about good fortune in such an unfortunately bad year.

But dang it, it’s my birthday (turning 31) and I’m going to be happy because things really have been good (for just me in particular, I know that's probably rude).


As I type this, I am sitting on a cozy sofa in a nice warm condo that’s plenty of room for just my wife and I.

I have appliances that work, a car that runs, a comfy bed, a well-stocked kitchen, wonderful tasty food, a decked out Christmas tree. A TV that one of my friends described as not a TV, but a “wall.” I fixed my 8 year old desktop computer and now it runs properly enough that I can install a fancy looking Minecraft shader pack.

My office where I spend most of the day working from home has a sit-stand desk where I can stand up tall, or even bring the desk so low I can sit on the floor.

My wife has the craft room she has always wanted where she can do all her crazy art projects.

I have a small walk in closet that’s the perfect size to be a recording booth. Someday, I’ll narrate audiobooks like I’d love to—that dream is so much closer to reality now.

I’m distracted by two rambunctious tuxedo cats that are playing in a pile of fabric on the floor of my living room. And they will surely knock off another fifth of the Christmas tree ornaments before the day is done.

I have a home. A good one, where my wife and I can be alone and calm in a crazy world.


It is only through absurdly good luck and hard work that I’ve made it this far. And well… money. (Why is it always money that solves every problem!?)

It all started last year when I got a job offer paying the market rate for my career path: UX design. I’d been looking for a job for ages that actually paid competitively. I honestly just wanted to take the job offer and go back to my current employer and be like: “Yo, time to match this and I’ll stay!”

And then they didn’t match!? 

I liked my job, I just wanted to get paid the going rate for it.

Well anyway, so I started a new job (which by the way is kinda traumatic? Shoot, I really did like my old job. Still do. But my new job is also frickin’ amazing.)

The job has been very stressful, I’ve been in leadership positions, I’ve had way more “crunch” weeks than I ever had at work before. I’ve been dealing with all kinds of crazy stuff—but it’s… good! Like… really good! I like my job! Just saying that alone is all kinds of insane in a world where most people hate their jobs.

So the five things that made this year incredible are:

1) My Job—which is actually good and about as fulfilling as it could possibly be.

The only thing more fulfilling is if I could be independently wealthy and literally just write, edit YouTube videos and be an independent internet creator (but the unsteady finances of that lifestyle would probably stress me out so much that I’d probably want back into my steady corporate job life anyway)
And I do wish I wasn’t so exhausted by the end of each day that I had some room left in me for personal creative pursuits. BUT I HAVE A JOB in a pandemic! That's a crazy good blessing.

2) Money

I get paid well-enough that when the pandemic started (both my wife and I are high risk), and my wife had to quit her very Covid unfriendly job—it was financially feasible for her to not have a job.

3) Condo

It was an absolute miracle of saving for months (and two stimulus checks) that gave us enough money in the nick of time to put a down payment on a Condo. Being in this much debt for a mortgage feels terrifying. But it’s also a relief knowing that my rent price will never, ever increase.
And I get paid well enough that we were eventually able to buy furniture within a few months of getting the Condo.
I was quite content living in a cheap hole in the ground apartment, but my wife—not so much. The mental health benefits she’s had from having space has been tremendous. 
And I do have to admit, having enough space to do more than survive is also a huge mental health improvement.

4) Working from Home
Working from home full-time has been my aim and desire for years. It’s all I’ve wanted out of a job ever. I thought it would take years and years of growing my career capital and value in order convince higher ups to let me be able to work from home full-time. Well, a pandemic hit and my job is now full-time remote even after the pandemic is over and THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER!!!
I cannot elucidate my level of fear and hatred towards driving. (If it wasn’t already obvious) I live in America and being American means you must drive. There is no way around that. I hate driving so much. I hate the traffic, I hate knowing that this is the most dangerous thing that I will do that day. And above all I hate having to commute. (I had an hour and a half long commute daily total before the pandemic). And now—I don’t have to do that! I don’t have to drive daily for work. I can just walk a few feet over to my nice home office and get on the daily meetings and work.
I am so sorry that a pandemic is ravaging the world. But I do have to acknowledge that my personal working from home has been the greatest side-effect of all this.
Every single day I think about all the time I get back from not having to commute.

5) My Wife
The people I used to spend the most time with were my co-workers. And I am blessed to work with fantastic people, but it’s not like I chose them or anything.
Working from home, I love that the person I get to spend the most time with is my wife. I chose her and I love her so much.
Because of depression, and not being able to work and the pandemic, this has been one of the worst years of her life so far. And I’m glad I’ve been able to assist her and spend so much more time with her.

Well anyway, it’s been a rough year. But I wanted to post about my personal positive experiences. I’ve spent pretty much every birthday my entire life strung out and incredibly suicidal. To NOT feel that way for even a single birthday!? That feels amazing.


Comments ( 6 )

Same with me. 2020 was my best year ever.

Never feel shame for your own happiness.

Author Interviewer

y'know what, fuck it, I want to hear about people having good years (when they aren't fucking corporate billionaires), it actually warms the heart to know that it's still possible!

Enjoy your life, goddammit. >:B

Really glad to hear you're doing well. :) Best wishes to your wife and kitties!

I’m someone who has been affected negatively by this year, can’t find a job can’t move out, and so on. I’ll say this, just because someone else has had a bad time of it, doesn’t mean you are a bad person for expressing joy at your good fortune. Keep having a good year, man!

I've had a very good year, too. Having a decent job during this time is something to be very grateful for.

Login or register to comment